Raising Cain

Wild Rose Series

Book Three

By

Scarlett Jade

Grace’s world is rocked after Christina dies and she’s left learning how to raise a micro preemie with many health concerns. As Cain reaches his first Christmas, someone from her past returns, and Grace is left reeling.

When Drake finds a strange e-mail in his inbox after returning from touring with his band, Jacob’s Ladder, his first thought is that it can’t be true. A part of him has to know for sure, and he makes a trip to Phoenix to find out if Grace really had a child, and if it’s his.

Grace is determined to make sure the littlest wild rose has a home, and she’s not willing to have her heart broken again by anyone. Being alone is the safest thing.

Drake has other plans.

Can he convince her to fall in love again, or has Grace become wary of love’s thorns?

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved.

Copyright 2014 © Scarlett Jade

Published by Beau Coup Publishing

http://beaucoupllcpublishing.com

Cover by JRA Stevens

For Beau Coup Publishing

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

Chapter One

Grace stared down at Cain in his crib, and she couldn’t stop a smile from crossing her lips. The flaxen haired baby lay sprawled on his back with a clenched fist over his eye. A soft smirk touched his mouth, and he wriggled slightly, his breath becoming steady and slow again as he dozed. She was in love with him, wholly and completely.

The last few months had been hard, there was no denying that. Cain had struggled to breathe correctly, and it had taken several months before he was able to take a bottle instead of getting his sustenance through a feeding tube. Even now at nearly eight months old, he slept brokenly, requiring oxygen and a nasal cannula to help him breathe at times. She couldn’t count the nights she held him so he would sleep, and so she could rest. It wasn’t the ideal situation, by any means. They both had to rest and it worked.

After his birth, he had undergone treatment for HIV, a precaution since Christina had HIV while she was pregnant. Six long weeks of medicine and two tests, six months apart, showing he was HIV free had everyone breathing a sigh of relief. No one wanted the baby to have to deal with HIV on top of all the other complications he was facing. Grace had been so very overwhelmed during the first few weeks of his life, she had to deal with her own grief from losing Christina and then figuring out how to raise Cain.

Learning how to raise a micro preemie wasn’t necessarily something one wanted to jump into. She was thrust into endless rounds with doctors, intubations, surgeries, his heart stopping twice, and many other scares.

In his early life he’d already had his first surgery, one to repair bleeding on his brain at a month old, when a tiny blood vessel had broken and he needed the fluid removed. It had been terrifying for Grace, thinking of his tiny little body in surgery. Cain had proven to be a fighter like his mama and pulled through like a champ.

She’d learned quickly to shut off her emotions and just watch and wait. Five long months she watched and waited in the NICU, waiting for him to be well enough to go home. The day they’d said Cain could leave, she’d rejoiced. They’d flown home to Phoenix, riding in first class with Cain attached to oxygen, and they made a life together in the big old mansion.

Her father, Damien, had spared no expense in making sure that Cain was taken care of, and for all his help, Grace was grateful. She would have never been able to afford everything on her own. Her time was spent almost exclusively at different doctor appointments for the little boy. He had a cardiologist, a pulmonologist, a neurologist, a gastroenterologist, and a pediatrician. It was a full time job making sure he was healthy and happy, and Grace wouldn’t have changed a minute of it for anything anyone could offer.

Things had changed dramatically around the porn mansion. Damien began outsourcing the filming, it was no longer done in the house. He gruffly admitted he didn’t want his surrogate grandson growing up around that mess. Instead of a pristine mansion, there were baby things everywhere. Blankets and bouncy chairs, crinkly toys and rattles, swings and books littered the house. It was a happy chaos, and it was all because of the sweet little boy who had stolen their hearts.

Patrick and Addie, friends of Christina’s would be coming down for Thanksgiving, which was just a week away and Grace was nervous about the visit. The last time she’d seen the couple face to face, they had offered to adopt Cain, and she hoped they didn’t ask again. She understood they had more to offer the little boy, a mother, father, and a “real” family. Grace knew Christina had wanted her to care for him. No matter how hard it was, nor how tiring, she’d promised Christina she would take care of her son.

Cain had filled up the empty spots she didn’t know she had. Reaching down into the crib, she gently stroked back an errant lock of pale blond hair and smiled softly. “You look so much like your mama.”

He stirred slightly at her gentle tone, and Grace withdrew her hand and tiptoed out of the room, knowing he needed his rest. While Cain slept, Grace took a few precious moments to herself to check her e-mail, something she hadn’t done in forever. Sitting down at the computer in her office next door, she kept one ear tuned to listen for Cain’s cries and began working through the thousands of e-mails.

When she got to the end of the messages, she found one from Christina from back at Christmastime. Tears filled her eyes as she re-read the message. Pressing her palm to her chest to stem the ache that blossomed there, it felt much like someone reaching in and ripping open the hole she’d almost healed. Turning in the chair, she bent forward, her sobs shaking her shoulders.

I miss you! My God, I miss you. You’re missing out on so much, Christina. Did you know that Cain doesn’t need his apnea monitor anymore? He should be babbling soon, and it’s going to break my heart when he says Mama and you’re not here. What am I supposed to do? Let him call me Mama? That doesn’t feel right. It should be you! You should be here with me in this big house, us raising Cain together. It breaks my heart that you’re not. I miss you every day. I can’t count the times I’ve picked up the phone and dialed your number by accident. Whoever has your number now has gotten used to me calling and asking for you. They just remind me that it’s not your number anymore, and I break down and cry again. The little old lady has comforted me many times. I just forget you’re not here. I still feel you here sometimes. The last eight months have been so hard without you. I just wish I could talk to you one last time. Dad helps as much as he can. He’s busy, and it all falls on me. Don’t think I regret saying I would care for Cain, because I don’t. I love him. It’s just hard. I had no clue raising a child would be this hard. Much less one who has had so many health issues. They’re talking about doing surgery on his heart very soon. We’ve been waiting until he got stronger. What am I going to do if I lose him? I can’t lose him too, Christina. I’m so scared.

A hand touched her back, and she jumped, spinning in the chair, half expecting to see Christina standing there. Her face fell as she realized it was her father. “Dad?”

“Who did you think it was gonna be, baby?” He pulled her into his arms, and she wept into his chest.

“I miss Christina so much. It’s so hard not having her here,” Grace sobbed out.

Damien rubbed her back gently. “You’re doing great, sweetheart. Cain is growing and thriving, and it’s because of you. You’re doing an amazing job. Who is up with him all night long making sure he’s eating correctly? You. You won’t let anyone else take up any of the slack. You take him to every appointment, you’re constantly reaching out to doctors and making sure he’s getting the absolute best care. I know Christina made the right decision in giving Cain to you. At first, I wasn’t too sure, I worried that you were too young, and I hated to think that you were giving up your youth to watch him. I wondered if an established couple might have done a better job. Grace, you’ve grown up so much in the last eight months. You’ve made me so proud. I know you’re tired, and you can learn to lean on me for help. We could call in a nurse…”

“No.” Grace sniffled. “I can take care of him. I’m not going to have you pay for a nurse when I can do the job.”

“Grace, you have to sleep sometime. You have to see humans other than doctors and nurses occasionally,” Damien argued.

“No, this is my life now,” Grace adamantly declared, pulling from his embrace and wiping her eyes. “I want to take care of him. I want to do this.”

“Christina wouldn’t want you to run yourself into the ground, baby.” Damien touched her arm again, concern knitting his brow.

“I know she wouldn’t. Things will get better as he gets a little older. The doctors have said his lungs should be much better after he’s two. Soon he’ll be working on solid foods, and things are progressing great,” Grace insisted.

“It’s okay to ask for help, Grace. Let me have someone come in just for an hour twice a week to give you a break. When was the last time you got to take a shower?” Damien pressed.

“I don’t know, maybe a week or so ago. Are you saying I stink?” Grace asked in horror as she sniffed her armpits and winced.

“Well, I’ve noticed buzzards circling the house…” Damien chuckled softly.

“Oh God. I’m a mess,” Grace wailed, her hands coming to cover her face.

“Listen. I have the afternoon off. I think I can take care of squirt when he gets up. He’s a baby. How hard is it to look after a baby? Why don’t you go take a nice shower and catch a little nap, okay? We’ll be fine, I promise.” Damien firmly gripped her shoulder, and Grace allowed herself to be propelled into her bedroom, the room adjacent to Cain’s nursery. The rooms adjoined with a door, and she left the door open all night so she could hear him.

“Dad, I can—” Grace argued and Damien shook his head firmly.

“No. As your father, I’m telling you to take a few minutes to yourself. Otherwise, I’m calling in the Hazmat team. Take a bubble bath. Read a book. Do something. Just for Grace. I’m not going to break Cain, I promise.” Damien pushed her into her room and pointed at the bathroom. “Go on.”

With a defeated sigh, Grace closed her door and hurried into the bathroom. I’ll just take a quick shower… She stared at the huge whirlpool tub and groaned. Maybe a soak would do me good… She turned on the hot water and plugged the tub before searching the cabinet for some bath salts or bubble bath. Finding a bottle of bubble bath, she liberally added in a capful under the running water. Stripping her clothes off, she stepped into the water and moaned out loud.

She slid under the surface of the hot water and began to relax. I’ll just soak for a few minutes… With lazy strokes, she washed her body and then her hair. She leaned back against the edge of the tub and closed her eyes. This feels amazing.

A knock at the door made her jump, and she yelped as cold water splashed over her skin. Her bath water had grown tepid. “Grace?”

“Yeah Dad?”

“Um, you’ve been in there for about two hours. Did you fall asleep in the tub?” Damien asked.

“Is Cain okay?” Grace worried as she jumped from the tub and began drying herself.

“He’s fine. Just get dressed and we’ll see you in a bit.” She heard Damien leave the room, and she sighed as she finished drying off. Moving into her bedroom, she dressed quickly in a T-shirt and jeans, her routine mommy wear. Gone were the cute clothes Christina had pushed her to get. After Cain puked on most of them, she stuck with T-shirts.

It didn’t matter, really. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone. She didn’t have time to meet any guys or go on dates. Cain was her focus. He had to be, he deserved it. She hurried back to the bathroom, tossed her hair up in a jaw clip, and slid her glasses on. Once she was presentable, she opened the door between her room and the nursery and frowned when she didn’t see Cain in the room. Okay, Dad has him.

Meandering through the house, she finally found them in Damien’s office, where he was snuggling the infant and talking on the phone. Cain kept grabbing for the cord dangling off the phone and cooing with glee each time his thin fingers caught it. Damien would gently tug it away and the game would continue.

Grace grinned at the cute picture they made. Damien glanced up, and he grinned at her. “Give me just a second, I have to pass my right hand man off to my daughter.”

Cain spotted her and reached up with his delicate arms, and Grace’s heart melted. She scooped the baby up and snuggled him close. Then he yanked on a small tendril of hair that had fallen from her up-do. “Ow, Cain, don’t pull my hair!” She winced as she extracted the hair from his strong grip.

Too soon it was time for his bath and a feeding before bed. She hummed softly as she rocked and kissed the top of his downy head. It’s worth it. Every minute.

Dear Diary,

I wonder if Christina would be happy with how things are going. I hope I’m doing right. I’m trying. I’m learning as I go and trying not to make too many mistakes. I never imagined it would be so hard to raise a baby. Never in a million years did I imagine taking on Cain would be so hard. It’s worth it, though. Every minute I get to spend with the little miracle Christina gave me is a minute I get to spend with a piece of her. Maybe Dad’s right. I should try to find some other humans to interact with. I’d love a friend, a mommy friend who would get what I’m going through. Maybe one day. For now, we’ll just do what we need to, just the three of us.

Grace

Chapter Two

The morning of Thanksgiving was extra stressful for Grace. Cain was having problems with reflux and two nice outfits for Thanksgiving dinner with Patrick and Addie were sitting in the laundry room covered in puke. “Oh, sweetie, is your belly hurting?” She cooed down at the infant, who gurgled back at her.

She didn’t know why it mattered so much to make a good impression on the couple. Maybe you want to prove that you can handle raising him, so they don’t offer to raise him for you? Sighing softly, she twisted her hair up and pinned it in place. Staring into the mirror for a moment, she contemplated putting a little bit of makeup on. What’s the point? Who do I have to impress? Dad? Patrick? Snorting softly, she left the bathroom.

Pulling on her last clean blouse, she buttoned it quickly and tossed a burp rag over her shoulder before picking Cain up from his bouncy seat. She kissed his little cheek and straightened his outfit. Damien had picked him up a “My First Gobble Gobble” onesie, and he looked absolutely adorable.

“Don’t throw up on me again, mister!” she chided playfully, carrying him down the sweeping staircase and into the kitchen. Damien was pulling a turkey out of the oven, and she sniffed the air. “It smells good!”

“It does, huh? Can you believe this is our second Thanksgiving together?” Damien grinned proudly down at his golden turkey and placed the pan on the counter.

“It’s hard to believe it’s been that long,” Grace admitted.

“We’ve come a long way, huh?” Damien held out his hands to Cain, who gurgled happily and reached for him.

Grace quickly tossed the burp cloth over his shoulder. “I’ve had two shirts ruined today.”

“Ah, it’s nothin’ but a little baby love! Isn’t that right, Cain? Do you love your Mama G?” Damien tickled at Cain’s belly and smiled at the tyke.

Grace paled and fidgeted nervously. “Don’t teach him to call me Mama.”

Damien sighed and kissed the baby’s cheek. “Grace, you are his mama. Not his birth one. You’re his adopted one. You need to realize that.”

Grace shook her head firmly as she began setting the table. “No, it’s not my place.”

“You need to get over this imaginary hurdle you’ve put there. You take care of him. You love him. Christina is gone, honey, and she left him to you. You’re his mama.” Damien touched her shoulder, and she paused in placing the silverware on the napkins. “You have to realize that it’s okay for him to call you mama. Because one of these days he’s going to. You’re his mama. He’ll always know who Christina is, but you’re here now. You’re tangible to him.”

Tears pricked at her lashes, and she pulled away from him. “I don’t want to talk about this,” she whispered, her throat tight with unshed tears.

“You never want to hear the truth. All you’ve done for eight months is hide away and pretend the rest of the world isn’t out there. Have you once gone out and done something? Gone for coffee? Seen a movie? It’s not healthy, Grace. You need some kind of socialization. I’m worried about you,” Damien continued, pushing places she didn’t want to be pushed.

“I get plenty of socialization going to appointments with Cain. I talk to people,” Grace insisted.

“How many friends do you even have, Grace? A girl your age should have at least a couple of friends. Join a mommy group, do something! You don’t even have a boyfriend. You’ve decided to take on the role of martyr to raise this boy, when you don’t have to. You can still live even though she’s gone.” Damien touched her shoulder again. “Christina wouldn’t want you to live like this.”

“You weren’t there when she died, Dad. You didn’t watch her skin literally peeling away and her body slowly shutting down. You didn’t sit there and pray each day for God to save her. You didn’t see her go from a vibrant, beautiful woman to a shell of herself, broken and dying. I did. So excuse me if I’m not bouncing back like you think I should. I’m just doing what she asked of me. I’m raising her son. You cannot put a time limit on my grief. It’s not fair. You still miss my mom, don’t you?” Grace snapped, tears trickling down her cheeks. “Furthermore, I don’t have time to fall in love. The last time I let myself love someone, it wrecked me. All of my energy is for Cain. Maybe one day I’ll find someone who will love us both and accept everything that’s going on. I’m not looking for that today. Or tomorrow. Or anytime in the near future. So please get off my back and let me raise Cain. That’s all I want to do. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to think about the past. I just want to take it one day at a time and make sure he’s well. That’s it. Nothing else. So for the love of God, stop.”

Damien sighed, his mouth pulling down in a frown. “Grace. You know I miss your mom, I’m only saying this stuff because I love you. I’m worried about you.”

Grace pasted a smile on her face, and she furiously wiped at her cheeks. “Well, don’t be worried, because I’m fine. Just fine. Let’s get Cain in his high chair, Addie and Patrick will be here soon. Doesn’t he look so handsome in the outfit you got him?” She pushed the emotion down and forced herself to be the cheerful hostess.

Before she could place Cain in his high chair, the doorbell rang. She passed Cain to her father and hurried to open the door. “Hi, guys. How was your trip?” Addie and Patrick stood on the doorstep of the mansion, awe written on their faces.

“It was great.” Addie smiled brightly, and Grace accepted her warm hug. “The kiddos are staying with my parents, they were so excited to stay with Grammy and Pop and stay up late!”

Patrick held out his hand for her to shake, and Grace did so. “The trip was nice,” he offered. He always seemed to be a man of few words. Grace wasn’t quite sure what to make of him.

“Come on in, we have dinner ready. Cain is up.” Grace stepped back and the couple walked inside. “I hope you’re hungry, Dad got a little carried away with cooking.”

“Where’s my little man?” Addie cooed.

“He’s in the kitchen.”

“Isn’t that a little dangerous with all that hot food?” Patrick asked.

Grace smiled tightly. “I doubt he’s going to be in any danger. I don’t see him pulling the turkey over on himself or crawling in the oven just yet.”

“Well, you definitely need to get some baby proofing done,” Patrick cautioned. “He’ll be active soon.”

“Thank you for your concern, we’ve got it under control.” Grace assured him. “The kitchen and dining room is this way.” She gritted her teeth as she led the couple into the back of the house. As she walked into the kitchen, she grimaced to see Damien stirring potatoes while he held Cain. “Dad, let’s get him in his high chair…”

“Oh, sorry. The little guy wanted me to hold him, and I wanted to make sure the potatoes didn’t boil over.” Damien grinned sheepishly, and Grace took the baby from him. Before she could react, Addie had snapped him out of her arms.

“Oh, look at you! Are they feeding you enough? Let’s get some meat on those little legs!” Addie cooed, gently pinching his thighs. “Oh, it smells like you need a change, mister! Where’s his room, I’ll go change him for you.”

Grace frowned and held out her hands for the baby. “I’ll go change him. Why don’t you two get comfortable?” Cain held out his arms, and she took him from Addie. Rushing from the room, she gritted her teeth again and hurried up to the quiet of the nursery. Cain gurgled and cooed as she changed his diaper.

“If Christina hadn’t liked them, they wouldn’t even be here. They always make me feel like I’m inept and I shouldn’t have you. I know we’re doing just fine. Right?” Once he was changed, she put him back to her shoulder, and he puked. Grace froze as the hot vomit splattered down her back. “Oh, Cain…” She cried then, holding her godson snugly to her chest. “Why couldn’t you have saved that puke for Addie?”

She cleaned herself up quickly and pulled on a T-shirt before taking Cain back downstairs. Damien caught sight of her first. “Uh-oh, did he get you again?”

“Third time today.” Grace smiled tightly, hoping she could telepathically send a message to her father to shut up.

Patrick interrupted. “Third time for what?”

“Cain has some reflux issues. We’re trying to get his medicine right,” Grace explained.

“Well, what are you feeding him? It could be the formula. I mean, just the cheapo formula isn’t going to work,” Addie piped up.

“He’s on a preemie formula. We don’t just buy the cheapest formula, thank you for your concern,” Grace snapped.

Addie seemed visibly taken aback. “Well, excuse me for being worried.”

“We have it under control. His doctors know what is going on, and we’re working on it,” Grace continued, trying to be as kind as she could. “Thank you again for your concern.” She placed Cain in his high chair and handed him his favorite rattle.

Dinner was a tense affair, where Grace felt ganged up on by both her father and the Cotters. She barely ate, and she tried hard to keep friendly conversation flowing around the table. After the beautiful pumpkin cheesecake Damien had picked up at a local bakery, they retired to the living room. Addie took over Cain’s attention, showing him new books and toys they’d brought for him.

Grace held her tongue and smiled at the things they’d picked up for him. He already had at least three of the toys they’d brought. They didn’t believe in asking what he needed. After all, it’s not like I’d know what my godson would need. It irked her. She watched as Cain grew tired and began rubbing his eyes.

“He’s ready for his nap,” Grace mentioned, standing to take him from Addie.

“Oh, I can get him down.” Addie assured her. “Just tell me where his nursery is.”

“He’s used to me getting him ready for his naps,” Grace argued.

“Well, let me spend time with him today. I’ve rocked three babies to sleep, I think I can handle the job,” Addie retorted.

Damien stood and offered Addie his hand. “Let me show you where it is.”

Grace glared at him and sat down on the couch. “Sure, be my guest.”

Patrick smiled at her. “Addie is so excited. Have you given any further consideration to our offer?”

Grace closed her eyes and took a slow breath. Dammit! “No, I haven’t. Cain and I are doing just fine.”

“I’m sure. I know it has to be hard for you. You’re still just a young woman, and you should be out living life, not raising a child with special needs.” Patrick crossed his legs and took a sip of his iced tea.

Grace felt her anger bubbling up and threatening to explode. “If you’ll excuse me?” She stood and rushed out the back door to the quiet of the garden, trying to calm down before she said something she shouldn’t. The rose bush she’d planted for Christina sat tucked in a quiet alcove of the garden, and she plopped on a bench nearby.

Christina, I’m trying hard to do what’s right for Cain. I’m taking care of him like I promised. I don’t want to be angry with Addie and Patrick. They’re driving me crazy! You wouldn’t have left him with me if I couldn’t handle it. She took in a slow, cleansing breath and blew it out.

She sat in the garden for a few more minutes until she heard a noise. It was Cain, sobbing. Even with all the windows closed, she could plainly hear his keening cries. Something was wrong. Leaping off the bench, she ran for the door and skidded inside. “What’s wrong with him?”

Addie was coming down the stairs. “You’ve really made him a lap baby. He’s upstairs crying it out. I bet you get no sleep. It will strengthen his lungs. It’s a good thing.”

Grace took off up the stairs, ignoring Addie’s words as she came into the nursery. Cain was red in the face and struggling to suck in air with each scream. Sweeping him into her arms, she grabbed the oxygen cannula and slipped it into his nose. “Shh…” she murmured to him. “I’m here.”

Rubbing her hand up and down his back, she soothed him and her panic abated as his breathing regulated. Peering down at him, she found that he was asleep in her arms. Easing him into his crib, she carefully fitted the tubing around his ears and turned on the baby monitor. Stepping into the hallway, she closed his door and stalked down the stairs.

She’d had quite enough now, and with each step she took, her anger flared higher. Stalking into the living room, she opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by Addie.

“Why did you go up there?” Addie sighed. “You have to let him cry sometimes.”

Then she couldn’t control herself any longer, and word vomit bubbled up. “When I went up there he was struggling to breathe. I know what’s best for my son!” Grace countered, her chest heaving with emotion. “I’m tired of the two of you constantly hinting that I give him to you, or that I’m a terrible mother. Because I’m not. Christina left him to me, and my son and I are fine! He’s getting the treatment he needs. I think you should go.” She hurried back up the stairs and ran into her room, where she threw herself across the bed and wept.

Sometime later, a soft knock came at her door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me,” Damien replied.

“Come in.” Grace sat up on the bed and wiped her eyes.

Damien stepped into the room and sat beside her on the bed. “They’re gone. We had a long chat, and I think they realized their mistake. They said they were sorry and it’s up to you when they can come back. Addie promised to be on her best behavior.”

Grace snorted. “Whatever. All they’re worried about is taking him.”

“When you were downstairs showing your ass, do you realize what you said?” Damien asked.

“Do you think I was wrong in being angry?” Grace murmured.

“No, I don’t. Do you realize what you said?” Damien pressed.

“What? I told them to leave.” She shrugged and wiped her nose.

“You admitted that he’s your son,” Damien replied.

Grace’s eyes flew wide. “I did?”

“Yes, you did. You knew in your heart he’s your son, your brain just had to catch up. You’re his mama. Only a mama would have come roaring downstairs like you did ready to kill anyone who hurt her baby,” Damien stated.

Grace sniffled and wiped at her eyes again. “I love him.”

“We all do.” Damien pulled her into his arms. “You’re a good mama, Grace.”

Later that evening she wrote in her diary the latest developments of their little life. Their little perfect, crazy life.

Dear Diary,

I’m a mama. I can finally say that now. It feels like it’s okay for me to say. Does that make sense? I’m Cain’s mama. I don’t think Christina would be mad at that in any way. I love that little boy more than breath, and he loves me. I’m going to raise Cain the best way I can and we’ll have our weird little family. It’s perfect, and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I’m a mama. That’s so crazy to think about. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect him, keep him safe, and give him the family he deserves.

Grace

Chapter Three

Drake plopped into his chair with relief. It had been a long six months on tour with Jacob’s Ladder, and he was exhausted. They would have a month off, and he planned on vegging out for the next thirty days and doing nothing. Then he’d jet off to Tokyo and then Europe for the next leg of the tour.

“I’m so glad to be home!” Drake yelled.

Toby, his band mate, came into the room with a grin, holding two beers. “I am too, man. This whole touring thing is gonna make me old before my time.”

“Hey, you’re six months older than me,” Drake quipped.

“Yeah, yeah, remind me of that every chance you get, why don’t you?” Toby snorted, passing him a beer. “Let’s drink to a quiet Christmas.”

Drake popped the tab on his can and held up his beer. “To a quiet Christmas. I’ll drink to that.” They clinked their cans together and both took a deep draught of the cold beer.

“So, are you gonna go home for Christmas?” Toby asked, and Drake shook his head.

“Nah, I’m not into hearing about how I screwed my life up leaving Yale again.”

Toby grinned. “Aww, Mrs. S still riding your ass about it?”

“I think she’ll be harping on what a mistake I made on her dying day.” Drake rolled his eyes and laughed. His mother, Connie, hated that he’d rejoined the band, and she had made her displeasure clear every time they talked.

“Did you ever hear anything from that girl?” Toby probed, stretching out on the couch and putting his booted foot on the edge of the coffee table.

“Who, Grace?” His throat closed slightly just saying her name. “No, I never did. I guess her folks told her I was a bad idea.”

“Well, when are you gonna move on, man? You’re hot. Chicks dig that you’re all damaged and junk, and you should be able to totally tap some fine ass.”

Drake shrugged and drank his beer. “I don’t know, Toby. I really cared about her, and it kinda messed me up.”

“Dude. No ass is worth being messed up over this long. Jesus Christ, it’s been like what, a year and some change since you wanked off? Your stuff could be broken.” Toby clutched his crotch through his jeans. “I couldn’t imagine not having sex for over a year!”

“You couldn’t imagine not having sex for a day, what the hell are you talking about?” Drake retorted, sarcasm lacing his tone.

“Hey, all the girls you say no to are all too happy to screw me. I know I’m second best in the looks department. I’m cool with taking on the responsibility of taking care of all that fine ass. I mean, I worry about you, man.” Toby leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “You really gotta let this chick go.”

Drake stared at his best friend. He’d known Toby since kindergarten. Toby had always been kind of gawky and goofy, with a shock of red hair. When he started working out and became built, girls went crazy for him. Toby had known what was going on with Grace almost from the jump, and he’d been worried, but never told Drake to leave her alone.

“I know. One day I’ll be able to forget about her. I just feel like things weren’t finished,” Drake finally mumbled.

“Then look her up. Go see her,” Toby suggested.

“Nah, I can’t do that. If she wanted me she would’ve called,” Drake argued.

“You changed your number, man! Then you broke your phone in Germany. Remember that crazy fan that shared your number online? So how was she gonna get up with you? My God, you might’ve gotten the looks, but you didn’t get the brains. And you were a teacher!” Toby snorted and drained his beer. “Want another one?”

“I’m gonna go check my email. I haven’t been on there in months. I’ve been too busy playing XBOX with you guys in our off time. Maybe she finally e-mailed me.” Drake tamped down any hope he felt in his chest that he would’ve heard from Grace.

“Hey,” Toby started. “Don’t be too disappointed if she didn’t, okay?”

“I won’t,” Drake promised as he meandered into his bedroom and collapsed on his bed. His laptop lay on his bedside table, turned off and waiting for him. It had sucked being without his laptop and phone, he probably could’ve gotten new ones on tour. There had never been time. It had been nice in a way being disconnected too, especially after the crazy fan fiasco. Sitting up against the pillows, he pulled the laptop onto his lap and turned it on. As it loaded, he connected to the Wi-Fi, which he noticed Toby had changed its name to ‘The Panty Police FBI Van #12’. With a snort, he waited for his e-mail to load.

Thousands of e-mails awaited him, and he groaned, not looking forward to searching through them all. Deciding to save time, he typed her name into the search bar and his finger hovered over the Enter button for a moment. What if she didn’t e-mail me? Do I really want to know?

Finally, he pressed enter and as his messages were searched, he fought the urge to close the laptop. A message popped up with Grace’s name in it and he clicked the little box. It was from Christina, her feisty blonde friend who had nearly taken his foot off in the door of their dorm. Why is she e-mailing me?

Dear Drake,

I want you to know that I was wrong. Grace loved you. I hope I’m not too late and you’ve found someone new. There’s something you need to know. Grace had a baby today, very early. It’s your baby, Drake. You need to know you have a son, and his name is Cain. I may have waited until it was too late to tell her that you’d come back. She met someone else…and she’s raising Cain in Phoenix with her boyfriend Damien. I want you to go see her. I’m putting her address at the bottom of this e-mail. Go meet your son. You deserve that much. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.

Christina

The e-mail was dated March 14th. It was now December 10th. Unless Christina was totally bullshitting him, Grace had a baby that was several months old…and it was his. “Toby!” he yelled and Toby ran into the room.

“What the hell are you yelling for? Did you see a big spider that you need me to kill for you?”

“Read this.” Drake passed him his laptop, and he watched Toby’s face as he read the e-mail.

“Awww, shit! So she’s fucking someone else and has a baby with you? I mean, are we sure it’s yours?” Toby handed him the laptop and Drake closed it, placing it at the end of the bed.

“I don’t know. We used a condom, but anything can happen. I seriously doubt this chick would e-mail me and lie. She really hated my guts and almost snapped my foot off in a door last time I saw her. I can’t imagine her wanting me back in her best friend’s life, you know? It really pisses me off to think of Grace with someone else raising my kid.” Drake seethed.

“So, what are you gonna do about it?” Toby leaned up against the doorjamb and hooked his thumb in his belt loop.

“What would you do?” Drake asked.

“I’d go down there and knock out that motherfucker banging my woman, and I’d claim her as mine. I mean, that’s because I’m a bigger badass than you are.” Toby grinned cockily.

“You ain’t shit,” Drake snorted. “I beat you up how many times while we were growing up?”

“A few,” Toby sniffed, his ego deflating. “Are you gonna go see if it’s your kid?”

“Do you feel like taking a road trip with me, brother?” Drake wiggled his brows. “I’m thinking a fast car might be in order!”

“I’m driving,” Toby yelped, calling it before Drake did.

“Fine. When do we go?”

“Tomorrow. I need some sleep before I hit the road. And you should shower. You stink like ass.” Toby pushed away from the doorjamb. “Get some sleep. Deal with this shit tomorrow.”

Drake couldn’t push the thought of Grace carrying his child from his mind. They had been together that one, perfect time. What if it was enough? And the baby was born early too, that worried him. Was the kid okay? Was she financially able to take care of him? And who the hell was this Damien guy?

He hopped off the bed and hurried into the bathroom to shower. Sniffing his pits, he gagged slightly. Toby’s right, I smell like swamp ass. Stripping down, he stepped into the shower and lathered up, washing away the layers of road grime and sweat. He stumbled out of the shower and barely dried himself before collapsing across the bed, buck naked, and falling fast asleep.

His dreams were filled with Grace and a baby that had her big brown eyes. His baby.

The next morning he awoke with the dawn and got ready for the day. Peeking in Toby’s room, he found his friend passed out with his pants down, six cans of beer on the nightstand and a Hustler magazine beside a stack of tissues on the bed. Gross.

Moving into the kitchen, he pulled a sticky note from beside the phone and scrawled on it, ‘See you. I’m driving the Porsche.’ and tiptoed back into the bedroom to plant it on Toby’s forehead. He hurried through the house, anxiety fueling his movements, needing to get on the road and find out if Grace really did have his child, and what was between them. Twenty minutes later, he was walking out of their mansion and to the garage where Toby kept his sweet collection of cars.

The cherry-red Porsche was his favorite, and it would be perfect to drive to Phoenix in. He’d copied Grace’s address into his phone and the GPS app was ready to go. According to the app, he would be in Phoenix in six hours.  He planned on making it in less than that. Opening the garage door, he groaned slightly as he stared at the pretty car. Sliding his hand along the hood, he grinned as he opened the door and sat inside.

Toby would be pissed when he woke up and realized he’d been left home. It’s his fault. If he hadn’t stayed up wanking and drinking we could’ve gone together…now I get to drive. The car started with a sexy purr, and Drake bit his bottom lip. Hell yes! A Porsche was the first splurge thing he planned to buy when he had some time to enjoy it. Until then, he’d just use the shit out of Toby’s ride.

Pulling out of the garage, he pressed a button on the keys to close the door and another to open the gate out to the street. The little car hugged the road as he drove, and he sped along, ready to make it to his destination.

The miles sped away with each rotation of the tires, and he spent the trip singing along to the endless CDs Toby had stashed in the car and drumming on the steering wheel. It kept his mind busy. He wasn’t sure where his mind was going to see Grace. He just had to know what was going on. Just to scratch curiosity’s itch a little. To see her. One more time. He knew it would be smart to get a DNA test on the kid. In reality, it wouldn’t matter if it was his or not. He wanted her.

Christina’s letter had him breaking every speed limit law between LA and Phoenix.

Chapter Four

The magic of Christmas filled their home after Thanksgiving, and Grace loved seeing Christmas through Cain’s eyes. Every twinkling light was a treasure, and the tree was a veritable treasure trove of new toys. Cain was working hard to sit up, and Grace knew it wouldn’t be long before he would be doing it on his own.

His pulmonologist and pediatrician warned against him traveling up to Connecticut to see her grandparents, and suggested strongly they not travel period during the worst of the cold and flu season, so it was going to be just the three of them for the holidays. Which was fine with her. She did not want a repeat of Thanksgiving. Although her grandparents were far from pushy with Cain, she just wasn’t in the mood to entertain anyone.

Cain was upstairs taking his nap, and Grace was attempting to get caught up on her work. Being a secretary had fallen to the wayside recently, and her father needed her help. Apparently, there was a major need for Christmas themed pornos in the world, and everyone and their brother wanted her dad to produce them. She could only imagine a big fat Santa getting humped by naughty elves. The thought left a goofy grin on her face. Someone would probably find it sexy, though, it just wasn’t her thing.

Grace was fielding calls left and right with offers, and she was scribbling down the sixth of the day when the doorbell rang. “Okay, great, I get that you have an awesome script, and maybe he’ll get back with you. I need to go. Yep, Mr. Samishikan, I understand it’s urgent. No, no, please don’t come by. Take care.” She hung up her phone and pushed her messy dark hair out of her face as she flung the door open, fully expecting the bossy Asian man to be on her doorstep. “Look, I appreciate you coming by, Mr. Samishikan. We aren’t taking any more projects on at this time…” Her mouth went dry as she realized it wasn’t the pushy Mr. Samishikan. Instead, a man she’d never imagined seeing again stood before her. “Drake…” she breathed, swaying in place and gripping the door for support.

“Hey, beautiful,” Drake drawled, and Grace couldn’t stop the immediate wetness she felt in her nether parts. If it was humanly possible, he’d gotten even more gorgeous. A sexy smirk touched his mouth, and she longed to press her mouth against his. For completely innocent intents and purposes, of course. To see if he was real.

Instead, she shook her head firmly and dislodged the cobwebs just seeing him put in her brain. “Why are you here?” She tugged at the hem of her raggedy, spit up stained T-shirt and pushed her hair back from her face again.

“To see you,” he said simply. “Are you going to let me in or leave me standing out on the steps?”

Grace stepped back involuntarily, and Drake obviously took it as an invitation to come inside. She throbbed as he brushed up against her. He smelled exactly as she remembered, a heady combination of cedar and orange, and her eyes closed as she thought about his scent enveloping her as they made love.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Drake whispered, his breath warming her ear.

Oh, God! When did he get so close? Grace jumped and planted her hand firmly against his chest and pushed. Her fingertips burned from the innocent touch, and she longed to course her hands down his ripped body and memorize it all over again. Just one more time… “Back up.”

He stepped back and she closed the door quickly and moved away from him. “Why are you here?” she asked again.

“To see you, Grace,” he said simply, as if it was just a basic social call and they hadn’t been lovers once upon a time.

Cain’s cry came through the baby monitor by the couch, and Grace pointed at him. “Stay.” She ran up the stairs and into the sanctuary of the nursery, glad to be away from the incredibly sexy Drake Stone for a few moments, so she could clear her head and think. A very grumpy Cain was sitting up in his bed. “Cain! You’re sitting up!” Grace squealed as she lifted him from the crib and kissed his cheek. “I’m so proud of you!”

*  *  *

Drake had tiptoed up the stairs behind Grace, whose wild eyes and flush had given her away. She was scared and running. He knew she wouldn’t be able to run if he cornered her. Plus, he wanted to meet his son. He heard Grace coo proudly, “Cain! You’re sitting up! I’m so proud of you!”

Peeking into the room, he saw her cradling a small, blond haired, blue eyed boy and his heart fell. I doubt seriously he’s mine. No one in my family is blond haired and blue eyed.

It hurt. He really didn’t care that the kid wasn’t his. A part of him had wanted him to be. The lies hurt the most. That’s what he didn’t like, feeling betrayed. “So, Christina lied to me. Were you in on it? Was your innocent act at the door nothing but a façade?” He ground out roughly, emotion clogging his throat.

Grace spun, her brown eyes wide with panic, and she clutched the small boy to her chest. “What? I told you to stay!”

“Last I checked, I’m not a dog. So you and her could keep up this bullshit that the kid is mine, right? It doesn’t look like you’re hurting for money living here, so what was the joke? Hurt me like you got hurt?” He smacked the doorjamb with his fist and tears filled his eyes. “It was a cruel joke, Grace.”

Her mouth hung open. “Don’t scream around him. What in the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do. If I want to scream I will.” Drake knew he was being petulant. He was hurt and didn’t care. He’d gotten used to thinking that maybe, just maybe, the kid was his.

Grace placed the little boy in a swing and turned it on. He was rocking back and forth and cooing. “Get in the hallway,” she ordered, and Drake backed up as she pushed him through the door and closed it. “First of all, what are you talking about?”

“I got an e-mail from your friend,” he explained.

“That’s impossible!” Grace snorted.

“It is not! I got the e-mail March 14th. I’ve been on tour and busy and hadn’t had a chance to really check my e-mails until last night when I got back to L.A.,” Drake insisted.

He frowned as Grace’s face fell and tears filled her eyes. “Oh my God, March 14th.” She backed up to the wall and slid down to a crouch. Sobs came from her, and Drake didn’t have any idea of what he had said or what to do to make her tears stop.

Kneeling beside her, he rubbed her back. “Hey, don’t cry.”

She stared up at him, her eyes two wet pools of pain. “Christina died March 14th. It’s absolutely impossible that she sent you an e-mail that day. She was in the ICU for weeks before that. It’s just not possible, Drake. So if you’re playing some kind of sick game, I’m not interested.” Grace wept harder and the realization of what she said hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Christina died March 14th? I’m telling you, I got an e-mail from her.” Drake contended, knowing he hadn’t totally lost his mind. The e-mail had come March 14th.

“You’re insane. She died March 14th. Why are you here messing with me, Drake? Can you please go? I don’t want to deal with this. I don’t know why you’re here cutting me open. Is it funny for you?” Grace wailed, her face crumpling as she sobbed harder.

“Then explain to me why I got this e-mail telling me to come see you and my kid in Phoenix and that you had moved on and were with some guy named Damien,” Drake pressed.

Grace looked up at him then, confusion on her face. She sat silently for a moment and then started to laugh. “What?”

He stared at her in amazement. Even through her tears, her laughter lit her eyes and they danced with her mirth. She was beautiful. “You’re living here with some guy named Damien. Is it serious?” Please God, say it’s not serious, Grace.

Her laughter came harder now and soon she was bent forward, gasping for air as she laughed. “Oh, God! Is it serious? Yeah, it’s serious, I guess!”

“Stop laughing at me, dammit. I’m sitting here asking you if things are serious, and you’re laughing. Just forget it. I don’t know why I came. I obviously made a huge mistake.” Drake stood and darted down the stairs, snatching the door open and letting himself outside. Forget you, Grace.

*  *  *

Grace couldn’t stop her giggles as she rushed for the door. “Drake, wait!” He actually thinks I’ve got a lover named Damien! Oh my God, the joke’s on him, isn’t it? The sound of a car starting and peeling out of the driveway hit her ears as she stepped onto the porch. He was gone. Her laughter died as she realized he truly believed she was with her father, and that she and Christina had somehow played a terrible trick on him.

“Shit.” Cain’s wails filled the air, and she closed the door, her heart heavy. If only I had told him. I shouldn’t have laughed at him. Would he have stayed? No, he came because he thought we had a kid. Not because he loves me. He came twice before, and I never called him. I never came for him, so I guess this was my last shot. I know I don’t have time to be with someone. Why does it hurt so much then?

Her tears fell harder as she came into the nursery. “Come here, baby, let me change you.” Cain’s wails abated as she cleaned him up and moved into the kitchen to make him a bottle. As she fed him, she continued to cry, snot bubbling out of her nose in her pity. “I made a big mistake, Cain. I should’ve just told him. Now I’ll never get the chance. How did your mommy send him an e-mail? How? Was this her giving us another chance, and I ruined it with my stupidity?”

She wiped at her nose with a tissue and burped the baby before trying to sit him up on the living room floor. He happily sat and took a board book and a set of plastic keys from her. She put a pillow behind him just in case and sat down on the floor beside him. “I messed stuff up. When you’re older, remind me to tell you that girls can be stupid sometimes. Okay?”

Cain just babbled and gurgled, and Grace sighed, feeling more alone than ever. She pulled out her diary from her purse and wrote while the baby played.

Dear Diary,

I didn’t explain when I had a chance. I’ll never have another. What have I done? It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. I just want another chance to explain to him what happened. Think that maybe fate could figure that one out for me?

Grace

Chapter Five

Drake drove aimlessly around Phoenix, pushing the speed of the little car while his anger pulsed through him. Finally, he pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store and shut off the car. Whipping his phone out of his pocket, he dialed Toby.

“Hello?” Toby groggily answered.

“You’re still in bed?” Drake growled.

“Well, I woke up, saw you had left, wanked a few times, and then yes, went back to sleep. Last I checked, I was on vacation,” Toby retorted. “Did you claim your woman yet? Please, sweet baby Jesus, tell me you’ve tapped that.”

“The kid isn’t mine!” Drake groaned out, rubbing his forehead in frustration. “Not that I care, I guess. She’s saying that the chick who e-mailed me died that same day! Shit is just too weird.”

“Aww, damn, I’m sorry the kid isn’t yours.” Toby yawned loudly. “So, wait a second. You got an e-mail from a chick who died? Like what, did she e-mail you, then get shot or something?”

“No, Grace claims that Christina was in the ICU for a very long time. So I have no clue what the hell is going on. Grace pissed me off by laughing in my face.” Drake’s anger stewed as he thought about her laughing at him.

“Well, what did you do to make her laugh?” Toby yawned again.

“I mentioned her new boyfriend, Damien.”

Toby snorted. “Well, maybe he has like a three inch dick. Did you ask her why she was laughing?”

Drake paused, thinking back to the mansion. “No.”

“Think maybe you jumped to conclusions? Did you even lay a kiss on her? Anything?” Toby asked hopefully.

“No, I didn’t. I wanted to, but I didn’t. She was crying about Christina, then she started laughing, and I just flipped out. I acted like an ass. I don’t know what I expected to run into going to see her. It wasn’t seeing her with a baby and looking as beautiful as she did,” Drake admitted. Seeing Grace holding the little blond haired baby had been unnerving. He wanted more than anything for it to have been his son. He wanted Grace in the worst way possible.

“Did you hear me?” Toby yelled, and Drake jumped, nearly dropping his phone.

“No! What?”

“I said, before I was so rudely ignored, that maybe you should go back and plant a hot, wet, juicy kiss right on her and see if she reacts. I mean, hell, I would. Um, kiss her that is, not react to your kiss. I do not like all beef hot dogs. Lay claim to your woman, man!” Toby demanded.

“Yeah! I’m gonna kiss her. And we’ll just see if she wants to stay with tiny dick Damien or come home with me,” Drake retorted.

“Well, get on it. Then call me and tell me all the juicy details…” Toby chuckled.

“So you can wank? No way, man. Watch some porn. What happens between me and Grace stays between us,” Drake retorted angrily.

Toby whined, “I tell you about banging all the groupies!”

“Groupies are different than Grace. Grace is…” Drake’s voice trailed off.

“The one, ain’t she?” Toby finished for him.

“Yeah. I never should’ve let her go to begin with. I should’ve staked my claim then. I thought she was too young, that I wasn’t ready, and that she wasn’t ready. That it would ruin her life and mine. I don’t think that way anymore. All I can think about is her holding that baby,” Drake confessed.

“Well, then get to it, before tiny dick comes home,” Toby advised.

“Hell yeah!” Drake hung up the phone and started the car. Following the GPS on his phone, he roared back up to the mansion where the love of his life was staying. The gates were beginning to close, and Drake grimaced as he floored the gas and the cherry red Porsche slipped through. The sound of metal on metal made him wince. Sorry, Toby…

A white SUV was pulling in front of the house, and Drake roared up behind him. As he stepped out of the car, a middle-aged, dark haired, built man exited his vehicle. “Have you lost your mind?” the man yelled. “Who the hell are you?”

Drake yelled back, “Who the hell are you?”

“I asked first. This is my property. You have trashed the body of that car. Are you insane?” The man barreled closer.

Drake stood his ground. “Are you Damien?”

The man paused and nodded. “Yeah.”

“So you’re screwing my woman.” Drake declared.

“Excuse me?” Damien’s dark eyebrow shot up. “Son, I think you’re confused…”

“No, I’m not. She’s living here with you, you’re screwing her. I love her, and she’s mine!” Drake insisted, throwing his hands wide in frustration.

“Wait, what?” Damien looked puzzled.

Fury overtook Drake at Damien’s continued insistence that he wasn’t screwing Grace. As he rushed forward, murder on his mind, he heard Grace’s voice. “Don’t!”

It was too late. His clenched fist slammed into the older man’s nose, a sickening crunch emitting from the fractured bone as he knocked him to the ground. Drake saw red. The only thing he could think of was the man, who was much older than he, was touching the woman he loved. He could feel Grace pulling at him and hear her screaming, “Stop! Drake stop!” Anger boiled through him, and he couldn’t. At least, until he heard her scream, “That’s my dad, you idiot!”

Drake froze at that moment, his bloodied fist suspended in mid-air. “What?” Horror filled the pit of his stomach.

“That’s my father! You’re beating the shit out of my father! Get off him, you moron!” Grace pushed at him, and he staggered away from the older man.

“Oh my God, what have I done?” Drake whispered, wiping blood on his pants. “I’m so sorry.”

The older man sat up with a chuckle as he wiped at the blood from his nose. “Grace, aren’t you a bit old to have a boy come to the yard and act a fool?”

“Are you okay, Dad?” Drake watched her kneel beside her father and check over his discolored face. Then her gaze turned to him, and he flinched at the pure ice in her stare. “You…”

“Grace!” Damien’s voice held a warning note, and Grace clenched her jaw.

“You had no right coming here,” she finally murmured, her voice colder than her stare.

“Grace, I’m sorry. Sir, I’m so sorry, I lost my temper.” Drake apologized profusely, knowing he was in deep, deep shit.

“You losing your temper is like the understatement of the damn century!” Grace bellowed, her cheeks pinking in anger. “If you hadn’t taken off like a bat out of hell, you might’ve known that he was my dad. Instead, you threw a fit and ran away like a little boy. I don’t have time for this. I have my son to raise.” She turned her gaze back to her father and pushed his hair back from his forehead. “Are you okay?”

Damien chuckled again. “I’m fine. Boy, you can throw a punch. I haven’t had the shit beat out of me like that in quite a while.”

“This isn’t funny!” Grace shrieked, staring at the two of them. Damien started to laugh, and she threw her hands in the air. “Well, Cain damn sure won’t be acting like a barbarian.” She stood and stomped into the house, the sound of the door slamming reverberating through the air.

Damien’s laughter tempered, and he held out his hand. “Well, come help me up.”

Drake stepped over and took the older man’s hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Ah, it’s okay. I haven’t been beat up for not screwing someone in a while. Last time a big director got pissed off thinking I was dallying with his wife. I wasn’t. However, the beating was memorable.” Damien explained.

“I’m a dumb ass,” Drake muttered.

“Yeah, you are,” Damien agreed.

“I screwed up,” Drake continued.

“You’re the reason she came to Phoenix, aren’t you?” Damien grasped his nose and Drake shuddered as the man straightened his broken nose and wiped the blood on his pants.

“Yeah,” Drake admitted, his head hung low.

“Mmm…I gotta tell you, she’s been through a lot. I’m not too keen on you coming in here and hurting my girl. Because as mean as your punch is, kid, I know people who can put you six feet under, and no one would ever find you. Do we understand each other?” Damien held out his hand for Drake to shake, and Drake took it, nervously swallowing at the man’s threat.

“I understand.”

“You’re awfully old for my girl. How old are you?” Damien asked.

“Twenty-nine,” Drake admitted.

“Hah! I’m barely a decade older. Do you want a drink? We need a drink! Let’s go have one.” Damien breezed to the door, and Drake followed him.

“Uh, should I go in there?” Drake paused at the front door, wondering if maybe he needed protection from the spitfire inside.

“Yeah, Grace has probably taken the baby to the nursery and she’s in there stewing. She’ll be fine. She’s like her mama, she needs to cool off for a few.” Damien laughed good-naturedly, and Drake let out a weak chuckle.

“She hates me,” Drake groaned.

Damien closed the door behind them, and he took off down a hallway. “Maybe. If you haul ass now, you’ll never know, now will you?”

Drake hurried down the hallway behind him, taking in the exquisite home. “I guess not.”

“Then let her cool down and make it up to her.” Damien suggested. “Hold on, let me go get cleaned up.”

Drake dawdled in the hallway while Damien disappeared to presumably wipe the blood from his face. A sharp howl had him wincing. A few moments later, Damien came from the bathroom with two pieces of tissue shoved in his nose.

“Is everything okay?” Drake asked.

“Sure, I straightened it up a bit and shoved some toilet paper in there to stop the bleeding. It’s not my first broken nose, and it won’t be my last. So, how about that drink?”

“It sounds great. Should you go to the doctor? I mean, I hit you pretty hard.”

“Nah, I got it back in place. No big deal. After the last one I just saved the little piece they use to tape it down and hold it steady. I’ll stick it on there tonight.” Damien shrugged and pointed to a door. “Here’s my office.”

Turning the conversation back to grace, Drake murmured, “I have a lot of making up to do, I’m afraid,” he let out a low whistle of appreciation. “Nice office.”

“Yep, it sure is. Sex really does sell.”

Drake gave him a startled look. “What?”

“I make pornos.” Damien smiled widely. “Want some scotch, son?”

“I’d love one.” Drake sighed. “Can I sit?”

“You’ve got an ass, don’t you?” Damien laughed, pouring scotch into two cut glass tumblers.

Drake chuckled weakly and plopped into a leather chair. “You’re being really reasonable about this.”

“When you’ve been in the business I’ve been in as long as I have, you learn not to stress a good fist to the face,” Damien explained, handing him a glass of amber colored scotch.

“I just saw red. All I could think about was her with you.” Drake sighed. “I messed up.”

“Yeah, you did. There’s still time to make it right,” Damien agreed.

“Can you tell me something?” Drake asked as he nursed the scotch.

“Sure, I’ll do what I can.” Damien offered as he sat in his chair and took a sip of his scotch. “Ahh, that hits the spot.”

“Is Christina really dead?” Drake asked softly, hoping his voice wouldn’t carry to wherever Grace was in the mansion. The last thing he wanted to do was make her cry again.

Damien’s face grew sad. “Yeah, she is. It’s really been hard on Grace.”

“Is that kid hers?” He pressed.

“It’s hers and Grace’s, yeah. You gotta understand she’s fiercely loyal to that baby, and if you want her, you take him too. She won’t stand for anything less,” Damien remarked, taking another draught of his scotch.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less. So, he’s Christina’s biological son? This all has thrown me for a loop, I got an e-mail from Christina, apparently on the day she died saying that the baby was mine and that Grace was with you, not just as father and daughter. That’s why I was acting like an ass. I thought you two were an item.” Drake explained.

“On the day she died? That’s impossible.” Damien scoffed. “That girl was so sick for weeks before she died. No way.”

Drake pulled out his new phone and logged into the mobile e-mail. “See, look.” He located the e-mail and passed it to the older man.

Damien took the phone and read the e-mail. His brow furrowed. “That’s impossible.”

“Well, I didn’t send it to me. Someone sent it to me, from her e-mail,” Drake insisted.

“Well, stranger things have happened. Maybe the girl had someone do it for her. She loved Grace that much was evident. I believe she wouldn’t have wanted Grace to be alone. Grace explained that you had come back to the dorm and Christina turned you away and never told her. Maybe she tried to fix things when she knew she wouldn’t be here for Grace anymore. I don’t know. We may never know. You’re here now. So tell me.” Damien paused and finished off his scotch. “What are your intentions with my daughter?”

“Well, I-I…” Drake drained his scotch. “I don’t know.”

Damien stood and poured himself another scotch. “Don’t think you’re about to screw her and leave.”

“No, of course not,” Drake agreed.

“Because I’d hate to hunt you down. I know who you are. You’re in some band. Ladder something or other. Grace panics when she sees anything about you on TV.” Damien swirled the amber liquid around in his glass, sat back in his chair, and took another sip.

Drake winced. “She does?”

“Yep. She’s hurting.” Damien explained.

“Do you have any suggestions on how I can fix things?” Drake begged, hoping to glean any information from the older man about his daughter.

“Oh no, no way in hell. You have to earn her back. You’re on your own. Know this. There will be no sex in this house,” Damien warned.

“I understand.” Drake assured him.

“I sure hope so…” Damien’s implied threat left his blood running cold. “I’d do a whole lot worse to you than give you a broken nose, son.”

Chapter Six

Grace stomped around the nursery, much to the delight of Cain, who gurgled at her each time she passed by his bouncer.

“Can you believe him, Cain?” Grace huffed. She was wiping down every surface of Cain’s nursery with baby wipes, scrubbing furiously to ease her irritation. “He just thinks he can come in here like a crazy person and I’m just supposed to fall in his arms like a year hasn’t passed since the last time we saw each other. My whole life is different now! I have responsibilities. He’s a rock God and probably kisses tons of girls. When you grow up, I’m not going to have that sort of behavior from you. You be nice to girls, young man. And no fist fights. It’s just not what a gentleman should be doing, do you understand?”

Cain laughed a sweet, tiny baby laugh that made Grace smile. “You understand me, don’t you? You know I’m mad and you’re just making me feel better. You’re so cute!” She swept him up in her arms and kissed his cheek. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Cain, I love you.” She hugged the baby tightly as tears filled her eyes. “Why does life have to be confusing? Why can’t we just have a simple life?”

“I don’t know.”

She stared at the baby, who definitely hadn’t suddenly begun speaking in a sexy, rough timbre of a voice. Whirling around and clutching the baby, she glared at Drake in the doorway. “You.”

“Me,” he admitted. “Stupid, foolish me.”

“You got that right,” Grace quipped. “What are you doing up here? This is my son’s nursery, and I prefer to keep trash out of it.”

Drake gripped his chest and frowned. “Ouch, you wound me. When did that tongue get so sharp?”

“It’s always been sharp, I just never polished it on you. My words are mild compared to what you did to my dad. You shouldn’t even be up here. What, did you sneak in?” Grace bent and put Cain back in his bouncer, realizing as she did that she no longer had protection from the big, hulking man who filled the doorframe so perfectly. She snatched up the tub of baby wipes and continued to clean the surfaces that were already spotless.

“No, he invited me in,” Drake answered.

“I see. Well, I’m disinviting you. You can go.” Grace paused in her cleaning and stared at him. “Go on.”

“This isn’t your house.” A smile stretched across his perfect mouth, and Grace longed to slap it off his face, or kiss it off, and it scared her that she didn’t know which one she wanted most.

“It will be one day,” Grace growled, anger pulsing through her. She was angry with him for leaving, for not trying harder to reach her after everything fell apart at Yale.

“Well, until it’s yours, I’m going to hang out right here in this doorway as long as I’m welcome.” Drake smiled wider.

Grace threw away the baby wipe she’d been cleaning with and picked up Cain. “Well, I certainly don’t have to be in your presence.” She rushed through the door that connected her bedroom to the nursery and locked it. Before she could close her bedroom door, he was there, filling the opening again.

“Sneaky little Grace. There will be no running this time,” Drake drawled and Grace couldn’t stop the throb of desire that shot through her at his words.

“I’m not running,” She insisted, her words much colder than her internal temperature that was steadily rising. “I never have. I just chose to no longer have to deal with you.”

“Funny, I distinctly remember you running the night at the hotel. Was it too real for you, Grace? Did you feel things you’ve never felt before and you couldn’t handle it? Did you shatter beneath me and it scared you?” His lips turned up again, and Grace felt a flush rise up her cheeks at the memory of their one magical night together.

“It was hardly all that,” she muttered, turning away from him so he couldn’t see the flush that heated her skin.

“Your mouth tells me one thing, and your body another,” Drake murmured, suddenly right behind her, the heat of his breath warming her ear.

She jumped and put distance between them, which wasn’t much in her small bedroom. “Get out.”

“Why? Your bedroom is nice.” Grace bristled as Drake hopped up on the edge of her bed and fell back on her coverlet.

I’ll never get rid of the smell of him on my blankets! Dear God, why is this man torturing me?

“Don’t,” Grace whispered. “Don’t do this to me.”

“Don’t do what?” Drake sighed softly. “Love you? Worship you? Make you scream in pleasure? Don’t worry about the last one, I can’t do that…yet.”

The throb of desire between her thighs became unbearable at his uttered ‘yet.’ “Don’t be here. Just go.” Grace choked out.

“I can’t.” Drake shifted to his belly on her bed. “I screwed up my best friend’s car. I’m gonna be stuck here at least a couple of weeks to get it fixed. Damien already told me I could stay. I mean, I can’t go back to L.A. and have Toby kick my ass.”

“Language!” Grace hissed, using one hand to cover Cain’s ear. “He’s innocent!”

“And he has no idea what I just said, here, let me clean it up. I can’t have Toby kick my behind. How’s that?” Drake grinned up at her, and he held out his hands for the baby. “Can I see him?”

“No.” Grace refused. “You can’t.”

“I won’t break him.” Grace’s heart thundered as Drake stuck his lower lip out.

“You might break me,” she finally whispered, tears filling her eyes.

Drake shifted up to sitting and shook his head slowly. “No, not this time. I got that e-mail for a reason, Grace. I was a fool, and I gave myself a million reasons why I should leave you alone. I thought I was saving you, Grace. I was wrong. I was scared. I know what I felt that night in the hotel, and it was real. And deep down, you know you felt it too.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Grace shot back, opening the door to Cain’s nursery and rushing back to the quiet sanctuary.

“Are we going to run back and forth through every room in this mansion?” Drake asked, his sigh loud in the serenity of the room.

“Maybe,” Grace offered.

“Then I’ll do it. This time, you’re going to listen to me. You’re going to listen to me when I say that I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since the minute I saw you in the bar wearing that tight little red dress. I know people say there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but they’re wrong. I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with you. And I’m going to. Even if that means spending years trying to win you. I’ll win you, Grace. Understand that. You’re the ultimate prize, and I want it. I want it all. I want Cain, I want you. I want us.”

Grace turned and stared at the beautiful man crowding her. “I can’t do this. Just go away, Drake.”

“Why?” Drake pleaded, stepping forward with his hands outstretched. “Tell me why you want me to go.”

“Because I don’t love you,” Grace lied, her heart in her throat. “I never did. You were just a notch in my belt.”

Drake laughed then, his eyes twinkling. “Come on, Grace, come up with a better lie than that.”

“I’m not lying!” she spluttered, a blush stealing back up her cheeks. “It was purely sexual for me.”

“Oh? Well, I’m okay with it being purely sexual for you again until I can make you love me. Because I’m going to make you love me,” Drake promised, and Grace stepped away from his heat, jumping as her butt bumped into the crib. “Let me see Cain,” Drake asked again, holding his hands out. “Please?”

Grace tried to keep the baby from him. Her heart broke as Cain held his hands out to the bearded man happily. “He wants you,” she mumbled, defeated as Drake took the little tot in his arms.

“So does his mama. She wants me too. She won’t admit it to herself.” Drake smiled down at the tiny boy, and Grace held her breath as Cain grasped Drake’s nose. “Ow!”

“Serves you right. You hit his Grandpa in the nose,” Grace muttered as she tried to scoot around Drake. A squeak tumbled from her lips as Drake’s arm came around her and pulled her into his side. “Let me go!” Drake smelled of all things male and delicious, and she couldn’t stop herself from taking in a slow breath of his essence.

“I can’t,” Drake explained. “You’re where you’re supposed to be.”

Grace pulled away with a huff. “Has anyone told you that you’re incredibly annoying?”

“Yeah, my band mates, every day of life.” Drake chuckled. “I’ve been this lovesick puppy for months and months. Toby is racking up on groupies. I haven’t been interested in any of them. Sure, I’ve kissed a few girls since you. I haven’t made love to anyone.”

“Oh, so that’s what you call what we did?” Grace snapped, leaning against the doorway to her room.

“Yeah, I do. I made love to you. Because I love you. And the next time I make love to you, you’re gonna love me too.” Drake grinned confidently.

Grace pushed away from the doorjamb. “Give me my son.”

“No.” Drake made a funny face at Cain, who bubbled happily. “We’re becoming friends.”

“Give him to me.” Grace held out her hands.

“Okay, just tell me I can stay.” Drake made another obnoxious face, and Cain laughed then.

“No.” Grace refused.

“Then I’m going to keep holding him, and we’ll stand here until you say yes.” Drake grinned as Cain made another pass for his nose. “That’s my nose, young man.”

“This is ridiculous. Stay if you want to. Give me my son, right now. I’m not going to put up with you. I don’t want you, Drake. Deal with that.” Grace swept Cain out of his arms, ignoring the flash of desire at the touch of his skin brushing against her own.

The truth is, you never un-fell for him. You’ve always loved him. He’s going to leave again and go on tour, and what then? It’s not like you can have a healthy relationship when someone is gone all the time. Cain and I can’t go with him. Can I trust that he would be faithful to me on the road? Is he just here for a booty call? I’m so confused. I wish I could have Christina’s infinite, sassy wisdom right now.

“Your mouth says one thing, and your eyes say another.” Drake pulled her to him suddenly, and she lost the will to breathe. “Do you know what your eyes say to me, Grace?”

She shook her head no frantically.

“Your eyes say take me, love me, make me yours. Cherish me, hold me, and give me a safe place to land. That’s what they say,” Drake whispered in her ear, and Grace had to close her eyes and bite her lip against the pure, unadulterated pleasure that swept through her body at that moment.

Cain took that opportunity to puke. Right down the front of Drake’s shirt.

Grace pulled away from him, grasped a baby wipe to mop her son’s mouth, and with a grin, hurried from the room. Serves you right!

She hustled down the stairs and into her father’s office. “We need to talk.”

Damien looked up from a script he was reading. “We do?” He tried very hard to play innocent.

Grace closed the door behind her and propped a hand on her hip. “Don’t play dumb with me, Dad!”

“Oh, you mean about the young man who popped me in the face staying here a few days? I told him I knew someone who could fix his friend’s car. I like the boy. I told him he was welcome to stay.” Damien grinned widely at Grace’s frown.

“This isn’t funny!” Grace snapped.

“Who’s being funny? Not me!” Damien chuckled then.

“Dad! He can’t stay here! I don’t want him here!” Grace huffed in irritation.

“Why? Afraid your heart might open up a little? I think it’s about time, frankly.” Damien turned his attention back to his script. “I have work to do…”

“Oh my God, what is with men today?” she murmured to Cain. “This is just ridiculous.” She threw the door open and found Drake standing outside it, mopping the front of his shirt with a baby wipe.

“Hey, buddy! Thanks for showing me how much you like me.” Drake tickled Cain under the chin, and Grace stared at him stonily.

“Get out of my way.”

“Okay.” Drake grinned, stepping back. “Where are we going?”

“We,” Grace pointed at herself and at Cain, “are going upstairs for a nap. You’re going to run out in front of traffic and hopefully get run over.” She smiled sweetly and left him standing in the hallway.

Chapter Seven

Drake laughed as Grace left him. She was trying so very hard to pretend there was nothing between them. Her eyes told him another story. They went wide and dark, and her breath came fast. When she licked her lips, he had wanted so badly to kiss her and see if she tasted just as sweet as he remembered. For right now he had to wait.

She wasn’t happy that he was in the house, and he couldn’t blame her. It was a lot to deal with. Drake stepped into Damien’s office. “She’s pissed.”

“Mmm, she sure is. Say, you seem to like fast cars. Feel like going for a ride? I have a slick little Lambo I haven’t taken out for a spin in a while. Let her cool her jets, she’s gonna get squirt down for a nap, maybe when we come back she’ll be in a better mood. She doesn’t get a whole lot of sleep. Cain had trouble breathing for a long time, and he just sleeps better upright. She won’t let me bring in a nurse either.” Damien shuffled the papers together on the desk and stood. “That script is terrible.”

“Oh?” Drake asked.

“Yeah. An alien Santa Clause and he probes the ass of human girls. No thanks. I don’t have time to come up with something like that.” Damien rolled his eyes. “I can’t fix something that broken.”

Drake laughed. “Should we be driving?”

“You only had one drink. You’re good to drive. Just don’t shove the Lambo through the gates, yeah? Let’s get them all the way open.” Damien laughed, and Drake joined him. He really liked the older man, and he could see them becoming fast friends. Drake knew there was a line in the friendship. If he hurt Grace, he’d be in big trouble. I’m not going to hurt Grace. I’m going to make her see we’re right for each other. One way or the other.

They left the house and walked across the yard to the garage. A low whistle escaped his lips as he spotted the slick, white Lamborghini. “Wow!”

“Nice, right?” Damien pushed a button on the wall of the garage and the gates of the mansion opened. “Let’s go.” He pulled a set of keys from his pocket and held up the key to start the car.

Drake took it from him, slid behind the wheel of the car, and started it. The car purred to life, and he ran a reverent hand over the dash. “This is nice.”

Damien buckled himself in and nodded. “It’s more than nice, son. It’s like a good woman. It purrs beautifully and goes fast if you take care of it. If you ram it through gates or treat it shitty, it’s going to hiss and not go any further.”

“Yeah, I understand that.” Drake shifted the car into drive. “I plan on taking care of it.”

“Good.” Damien suddenly let out a rebel whoop. “Drive this thing!”

Drake grinned and pressed on the gas. “You got it.”

*  *  *

Grace stood from the rocker at the sound of a car peeling out of the drive. She saw her father’s arm out the window of the white Lamborghini and she rolled her eyes as she carefully placed Cain in his crib. So what, are they going to be best friends now? What kind of shit is this? Creeping out of the nursery, she flopped across her bed and groaned at the scent of his cologne, which now permeated her bedding.

Desire throbbed through her as she imagined him in her bed again, and she bit her bottom lip, wincing slightly at the pain. Rolling over and curling around her pillow, she squeezed her thighs together as if to quell the desire aching there. A yawn escaped her mouth, and she snuggled deeper into the covers. I’m so tired. She dozed, one ear attuned to Cain in the nursery. If even one cry escaped his little lips, she’d be up.

The scent of orange and cedar was so strong, she felt as though she was drowning in the essence of Drake. Grace sighed and snuggled into a hard, masculine chest. Her eyes flicked open, and she squeaked in shock to find that Drake Stone lay in her bed, and her head was planted on his very firm, very damp pec. She’d been drooling, she realized with horror.

“Oh my God! Get out of my bed!” she squealed, shimmying away and rolling off the edge of the bed with a thump. “Ow!”

“Are you okay?” Drake looked over the edge of the bed, and Grace gave him a dirty look.

“I was fine. I was sleeping and then I woke up to find a strange man in my bed. I got a little scared.” Grace came to her knees and stood slowly, rubbing her aching posterior. “Oh God, Cain!”

“I haven’t heard anything,” Drake offered. “Except you snoring.”

“I don’t snore!” Grace hissed as she peeked in his nursery.

“You drool too. Your dad says you aren’t sleeping. When we got back from riding around Phoenix, I hated to wake you, you looked so comfortable…so I just joined you,” Drake explained, as though it was completely normal for him to be in her bed.

Grace eased the adjoining door closed. “Have you never heard of personal space?”

“I probably shouldn’t have gotten in bed with you, however, it was innocent. The doors were open, I promised your dad I wouldn’t have sex with you, and you were just resting.” Drake propped himself up on her pillows and tucked his hands behind his head.

“You seriously promised my dad you wouldn’t have sex with me?” Grace snorted. “What am I, fifteen?”

“Oh, so you want to have sex with me?” Drake countered, and Grace pinned him with a stony gaze.

“Not hardly. I don’t have time for sex. I am busy.” Grace swept out of the room and hastened to her office.

She was relieved when Drake didn’t follow her. Sitting down at her laptop, she wished suddenly that she could e-mail or call Christina. It wasn’t like she’d had time to make friends since Cain had come into her life. Not that she begrudged him a bit. It made things hard during times like this. She felt alone, completely and totally, and like everyone was ganging up on her to fall for Drake again. Falling for Drake was something she wasn’t sure she had time for.

Blowing out a breath, she decided to call her grandma, Annie. Picking up her office phone, she dialed and turned away to the window.

“Hello?” Annie answered, her voice soft and kind.

“Grandma?” Grace murmured, tears filling her eyes.

“Is Cain okay? Are you okay?”

Grace blew out a breath. “Cain is great. I am…confused.”

“About what, honey?” Annie asked.

“Remember the morning after I was with that guy? Well, that guy found me out here. He got an e-mail from Christina…and he came. And I don’t know how I feel,” Grace admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Do you love him?” Annie pressed.

Grace rubbed her forehead. “I do.”

“Then what’s with the confusion?” Annie asked.

“He won’t be able to stay. He’s a freaking rock star now. It’s not like he’s just a regular Joe. He’s in a band. He has groupies,” Grace groaned.

Annie sighed in her ear. “Do you love him?”

“I told you I do!” Grace snapped.

“Then you’ll make it work. Where there’s love, there’s always a way,” Annie promised.

“Are you sure?” Grace murmured, concern clouding her voice.

“I’m sure, honey. If you love him, don’t let him walk away without him knowing,” Annie advised.

“Thanks for your advice.” Grace spun at the sound of someone clearing their throat. Drake stood in the doorway holding Cain with a grimace on his face. “Um, I need to let you go…I love you.” She hung up the phone and stood. “I didn’t hear Cain…”

“It’s fine. I grabbed him. Apparently, I don’t know how to change diapers. Is there some kind of science to it?” Drake shuddered.

“Why?” Grace swept the baby in her arms and kissed him.

“I got peed on,” Drake muttered.

Grace choked on her giggle. “Oh my, I’m sorry.”

“In the face,” Drake finished, his expression stoic.

Grace giggled harder. “Oh boy, you didn’t cover his penis?”

“I didn’t know the kid was packing heat!” Drake yelped. “How was I supposed to know to duck and cover?”

Grace covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh my, I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to look at it as he likes me.” Drake laughed.

“Or he’s telling you to leave me alone.” Grace offered, kissing the baby again.

“Nope, he’s initiating me into the family,” Drake insisted.

“You’re going to leave sooner than later, so don’t get too attached.” Grace tried to move past him.

“Come with me.” he pleaded, and Grace shook her head firmly.

“The road is no place for a baby.”

“Then wait for me,” Drake begged.

“Prove to me you’re worth waiting for,” she said simply as she swept past him and down the hall.

Dinner was a tense affair, with a slightly inebriated Damien making chicken Alfredo with piles of garlic. Grace ate quickly, bathed Cain, and readied him for bed in silence. The two men stayed downstairs, drinking wine and eating pasta so strong, it would knock a vampire off his feet. Their laughter filtered up to the nursery and with a sigh, she closed the door and rocked the baby to sleep.

Tears trickled down her cheeks, and she wept silently as she held Cain. Why is he here? Why now? Is Grandma right? Should I tell him how I feel? Should I open my heart again? I’m scared. What if he disappears again? This time I have Cain’s heart to think about. Not just mine. Can I let Cain get any closer to him? I mean, I know he’s just a baby. He won’t be forever. He’ll remember Drake eventually. What if Drake decides he can’t handle having us in his fast-paced life? What then?

As Cain’s breathing became slow and steady, she eased him into his crib and tiptoed out of his room. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she sighed softly. What if I let him walk away? Will I regret that? She poured her heart out on the pages of her journal.

Dear Diary,

It’s utterly confusing having him in the same house as me. When he drove away I never imagined he’d be back again, much less back and staying here after beating the crap out of Dad. Why would Dad let him stay here? Why does he seem so complacent with everything going on? I mean, I know I’ve been a hermit. I’ve been busy. It’s a real mood killer to be like “Oh, hey, I have to leave at seven to get my preemie son to bed.” What kind of guy is going to be interested in that? None. Not any guy I’ve ever met, anyway.

Drake is infuriating! He thinks he can just barge in here and make me love him all over again. Okay, fine. Let’s be real, I never stopped. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to just fall all over him and pretend the last year didn’t happen. We’re totally different people now. I’m no longer Grace the student and he’s no longer Drake the teacher. I’m Grace the mom, and he’s Drake the freakin’ rock star! This is not even in the same realm of similar lifestyles. I’m raising a sick, preemie kid. He’s off crooning to horny women around the world. I wonder if at every arena they have to put plastic seat covers on the chairs.

How can I expect someone like him to be faithful to someone like me? The truth is, I can’t. I’d be a fool to believe it. Absolutely insane to think he’d pick me, covered in spit up over any of the hundreds of beautiful women he beats off with a stick on a daily basis. Come on now, not even the cheesiest romance novels make that happen. This is real life. And I know what to expect. And it’s not him riding up in a cherry red car, beating my dad, and sweeping me into his damaged car. It’s just not. Happily ever after doesn’t happen for girls like me. None of the princesses you see in stories are dumpy, brunette girls. They just aren’t.

I’m going to watch and wait for this to play out. I’m going to guard my heart. I have to. I can’t take it being broken again.

Grace

Chapter Eight

Grace woke slowly the next morning, luxuriating in the absolute peace of the gray, silent morning. Then, as though she’d been jolted, she jerked wide awake. Cain! Flipping her legs over the edge of the bed, she ran for the door connecting their rooms. I never heard him cry! Oh my God, is he okay? Panic shot through her as she skidded into the nursery and saw he wasn’t in the crib. Shifting her gaze to the rocker in the corner, she gasped.

Drake sat in the chair, sound asleep, his mouth slightly open. Cain lay on his bare, muscular chest, also asleep. Her heart ached and tears filled her eyes. They look so perfect together...why did he come in here to Cain and let me sleep? Dad did it a few times, but he just thinks he can walk in here and win us over? Damn you, Drake Stone, don’t make me care.

She sniffled and Drake’s eyes opened slowly. “Morning,” he rumbled, his voice groggy with sleep. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Grace murmured back tensely. “Why are you in here?”

“I peeked in on him and on you before I went to bed, and he was in here playing with his feet. I sat down in the rocker, and well, we dozed off. Did you get some sleep?” Drake rubbed at his eyes and yawned. Cain stirred on his chest, and he gently rubbed the baby’s back.

“I slept all night. I haven’t slept in my own bed all night in months,” Grace admitted.

“Why don’t you get some help in here? Damien said he has offered…” Drake started, and Grace held up her hand to stop him.

“I promised Christina I would take care of Cain. I can do that. Sleep isn’t a big deal.” Grace insisted.

Drake sighed softly and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “It’s okay to have someone help you.”

“Well, it’s not going to be you. I appreciate you doing it last night. I’m not going to get used to you doing something like this for me, for us. So please don’t. Don’t work your way into our lives and then leave. I’m not going to do that,” Grace whispered fiercely.

“I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t plan on us being together, Grace. Yes, I have to travel for work. At the end of the day, I’d always be coming back to you.” Drake carefully stood from the rocker and lowered the still sleeping baby into his crib. Grace wiped at her eyes with a trembling hand and darted to her bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her.

Drake followed her with a grim look on his face. “Shut me out all you want. I’m still here.”

“For now!” Grace snapped, pushing her dark hair back from her face. “You won’t be forever.”

“Why, because I’ll travel for work? People do that stuff every day, Grace. Why don’t you just admit that you’re too scared to love someone? You’re too scared to care, because of Christina’s death. So you hide yourself away and insist on handling the burden of Cain all on your own. Admit it.” Drake stalked across the room, and Grace gasped as his hands curled around her upper arms. “Say it, Grace.”

Grace stared up at his beautifully hewn face. “Fine. I’m scared of loving anyone, especially you. You come in here and beat my father up because you think I’m having sex with him based on an e-mail. What would it be if I had coffee with a guy friend? Are you going to just go everywhere I go and beat up any man I talk to? Are you going to worm your way into my life and leave and find some tight little groupie on the road and decide that me and a sick kid aren’t what you wanted?”

Drake snorted and rolled his eyes again. “I had opportunities, hundreds of them on the road to have sex with as many women as I wanted. I didn’t. Not once. You know why? Because all I could think about was you. The way you writhed beneath me when we made love. The way things ended and all the unfinished business between us. All I can think of right now is how your lips would feel fitted against mine. I can’t think of anything else…” His voice softened as he leaned forward, their lips a hair’s breadth apart. “I’ve dreamed of it.”

Grace’s breath hitched in her throat as his lips tenderly, sweetly touched her own. A groan escaped between her lips at the gentle press of his mouth. She wavered on her feet and suddenly found herself swept into his arms, his lips coaxing a response out of her own. The sensations coursing through her body were delicious and frightening. Her nipples tightened and jutted forward, silently pleading for his touch.

The kiss went on and on, their tongues soon tangling together, mating in a wanton dance as old as time. A tease, suckling and nibbling a lower lip, a tango round and round that left them both panting with desire.

“Grace,” Drake breathed against her mouth, and Grace found her hands lifting involuntarily and tangling in his dark hair.

“Good morning!” Damien called, and Grace jumped back guiltily, her knuckles pressed against her swollen mouth.

“I-I, um.” Grace stumbled over her words in embarrassment.

“You were making out with him. Believe me, I’ve seen worse. I sure hope that you remember what we talked about.” Damien smiled at Drake, who ran his hand through his hair.

“I remember,” Drake murmured guiltily.

Cain’s cry broke the tense moment, and Grace hurried to take care of her son. Her hands shook as she lifted him from the crib and readied him for the day. She was relieved when Drake didn’t follow her. His kiss was unnerving and terrifying. Her body reacted immediately to his touch, and like an addict, she wanted more. Her biggest fear was that it wouldn’t be enough.

Once Cain was changed and dressed, she took him to her room, locked her doors and got dressed herself. They had an appointment with his cardiologist after lunch, and Grace was glad to get away from the house.

She picked up Cain and took him to the kitchen, where she made herself a bowl of cereal and sat at the table with him. He cooed and gurgled as she wolfed down her cereal and placed the bowl in the sink. Sitting him up in his high chair, she found her baby carrier and slipped him inside it, carrying him around on her chest. He was content being carried most of the day, dozing and waking intermittently as she picked up the baby mess from around the house and responded to a few calls regarding new scripts.

Both Drake and Damien were surprisingly gone, and Grace was grateful for the reprieve. She assumed Damien had taken Drake with him to a set, and jealousy flared up deep in her breast at the thought of him watching a couple get it on. She wasn’t so sure why it bothered her so much.

I don’t have time to do this. See? He’s getting under my skin, and I can’t let him.

As the morning wore on, she fed Cain and made herself a sandwich for lunch before getting them both ready for the appointment. Cain loved to ride in the car, he would be sound asleep within minutes. Grace buckled him in his car seat and loaded up everything she was taking with them, the stroller, his diaper bag, and his stack of files.

She’d found it was best to keep a running copy of files with her at all times with Cain, in case he needed to be rushed to the Emergency Room again. It made treatment for him so much better. They knew what was going on with him immediately instead of having to take her word for it or guessing.

Pressing a button on the wall in the garage, she waited for the gates to open and slid behind the wheel of her car. Driving out of the mansion, she meandered through the streets of Phoenix, arriving at the doctor’s office a few moments early.

Cain was sound asleep, and she left him in his seat, removing it from the base and snapping it into his stroller. She hurried through the parking lot and into the cardiologist’s office with a minute to spare before her appointment time. She signed him in and sat in the far corner of the room.

She waited a few minutes more before being called back. Cain was awake and was busying himself with his favorite plastic keys. She unbuckled him from his seat and the nurse weighed him and checked his blood pressure and temperature. “How has he been?”

“He’s been doing really well. Using the cannula less and less at night. The pulmonologist said this was a good thing.” Grace explained and the nurse made some notes in her file.

“You’re right, it is. Congratulations! Dr. Carter will be in here in just a few minutes.”

Grace cuddled Cain while she waited, and she sang to him. He was particularly fond of “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” The doctor entered the room with a smile.

“Good afternoon, Grace and Cain, how are we today?” Dr. Carter sat on the little stool and opened Cain’s file. “Oh, I see we’re tapering down on use of the oxygen at night. That’s great.”

“He’s doing well so far. Knock on wood no major colds or anything,” Grace explained as she hopped up on the exam table with the baby in her lap.

“He’s still taking the indomethacin?”

“Of course. He’s gotten all of his shots and the RSV medication monthly as well.” Grace held her breath as he placed the stethoscope in his ears and pressed the end to Cain’s chest.

“Mmm…I’m still hearing noise. Grace, we talked about this last time, I think he’s going to need surgery. We’ve given the medicine time to work, and I don’t think it’s working well enough. I’d like to perform the surgery after Christmas.”

Tears filled her eyes as she panicked. “No…”

“I think it would be best. We need to get this closed up. He’s going to be more active before we know it and it would be in his best interest. We’ve talked about this in depth before, and we knew the medicine might not work. His PDA is pretty large.” Dr. Carter patted her knee reassuringly. “It will be okay.”

“Let’s schedule the surgery.” Grace finally conceded, hating more than anything her boy would have to undergo surgery again. She knew deep in her heart it was for the best.

“I know I have some openings the first week of January. I’ll have the nurse follow up for sure with the date. Just enjoy your Christmas with him. We’ll do the surgery, he’ll stay in the hospital for a few days, and all will be well. I’ll see you soon, okay, Grace?” He stood and moved to the door. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Grace murmured, kissing the top of Cain’s head.

The nurse returned with a surgery date of January 7th. She explained that they’d need to be at the hospital first thing in the morning and bid them goodbye. Grace ticked off the days in her head. Less than a month.

She pasted a smile on her face and loaded Cain back in his car seat. “How about we go to the toy store?” Normally she’d go home immediately after his appointments. Today, she couldn’t bear to see Drake or her father. She didn’t want to tell anyone about the surgery just yet. Why ruin everyone’s Christmas?

Chapter Nine

“Something’s bothering her,” Damien muttered, and Drake sighed softly.

“I shouldn’t have kissed her this morning,” Drake replied, beating himself up mentally.

“Nope, something happened with the boy. I know that look. She kind of looks like she’s going to puke and she’s cleaning obsessively with baby wipes. He had an appointment today. I recommend you get her mind off things,” Damien advised with a slow wink.

Drake slipped out of the office and hurried upstairs to the room he’d been using. Damien had offered the use of the Lambo so he could get some clothes and necessities for his stay. Drake had browsed through the jewelry section and found a pretty necklace for Grace featuring a mother holding a baby. It was a simple gold necklace, and he wanted to see it around her neck.

He rushed back down the stairs and found her obsessively scrubbing at the front table. “Hey, want to go grab a coffee?”

He fully expected her to say no, but was shocked when she tossed down the baby wipe and nodded. “Yeah. Let me make sure Dad is good with watching Cain for a few.”

“Okay,” he murmured, completely flabbergasted that she’d agreed.

She was back a few minutes later, her expression stony. “Let’s go.”

“Do you know of a good coffee shop in the area?” Drake pressed.

“Get in my car, I’ll drive,” Grace demanded as she grabbed her keys from the bowl by the door and slung her purse over her shoulder.

Drake followed her out the door. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Grace replied, not offering anything further. He watched her push her hair back and rub her temples.

“Are you sure?” he probed gently.

Her dark eyes flashed in irritation. “I’m fine. Get off my back or you can stay here.”

Drake held up his hands before him, begging for peace. “Sorry.”

She smacked the button on the wall to open the gates, and slipped behind the wheel of the little car. Drake hurried to follow suit, buckling up as she started the car and began to drive. They drove for a while, seemingly an aimless jaunt. Drake longed to ask her again if she was okay. It was obvious she wasn’t, and she wasn’t interested in chatting. Finally, they pulled into a Starbucks, and wordlessly Grace shut the car off and got out.

He hurried to catch up with her, and his hand caught hers. “Talk to me.”

“I have nothing to say. I’m tired, I want coffee.” Grace opened the door of the shop and stepped inside, pulling away from his grasp.

Drake stepped up behind her in line and bent to whisper in her ear, “What happened at Cain’s appointment?”

He was rewarded with a shocked glance. “Nothing.”

“You can trust me, Grace. I’m not just going to disappear again,” Drake murmured.

“There’s nothing to trust you with. Everything is fine. We went to the toy store and looked around, and Cain let me know what Santa should bring him. No big deal.” Grace insisted.

“What should Santa bring Grace?” Drake pressed as they moved forward in line.

“I have everything I could want,” Grace replied.

“Everything?” Drake quizzed her. “There’s nothing you’d want?”

“There’s nothing I want that I can have, so no.” She moved forward and placed her order, a large peppermint mocha.

“Make that two,” Drake interrupted the cashier. “I’ve got this.” He pulled out his wallet and paid. Suddenly, he heard a squeal.

“Oh my God! Drake!”

He turned in confusion to see a young girl gripping her cell phone and taking pictures of them. “Hey, can I help you?”

“You’re Drake from Jacob’s Ladder! Oh my God! Can I get a picture with you?” the young blonde begged, and suddenly he found himself mobbed with people.

“Grace!” he yelled, panicked when he couldn’t see her. She was simply gone. He signed T-shirts, napkins, took pictures with fans, and kept running his gaze through the coffee shop, hoping to catch a glimpse of her face. His heart fell as he realized she had left. Turning, he picked up his coffee and found two words scrawled across the cup.

GO AWAY.

He pointed at the barista. “Hey, did you see the girl I was with leave?”

“Yeah, she asked me for my pen and wrote on your cup, paid, and left. Why, was she like your girlfriend?” The boy leaned over the counter, his eyes glittering.

Drake frowned at the teenager. “No. Thanks for letting me know.” He took a sip of the mocha and hurried from the coffee shop. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he called Toby.

“Hello?”

“Hey, man, so I’ve been spotted in Phoenix. Expect it up on the gossip sites soon,” Drake explained as he walked down the street.

“Shit! I’ll get the publicist on it,” Toby promised.

“Oh, and hey, I kinda screwed up your Porsche. I’m getting it fixed…”

“You did what to my sexy, perfect Porsche?” Toby shrieked in his ear, and Drake pulled the phone away from his head.

“I sort of jammed it through some automatic gates and scratched it up. It’s being fixed, though.”

“Oh my God, I’m going to jam your head through some damn automatic gates, have you lost your mind? What the hell are you doing down there besides screwing up my car?” Toby yelled.

“About to lose what’s left of my heart to a curvy brunette and a little boy. Paparazzos are about to be swarming around here. I need to go back to the house one more time and make sure she doesn’t want me there. I’m gonna get a taxi there and to the airport. Can you get a helicopter there?” Drake explained as he hurried down the block. “I know the grubby little barista in the coffee shop was angling for a story. Tell the publicist I said I’m sorry.” Drake hung up before Toby could ask more questions, and he flagged down a taxi. “I need to go to this address.”

He watched as a black car tailed them. Shit. Paparazzi were everywhere, and this leech had a story. It felt like déjà vu all over again. This time instead of a crazy stalker teacher being angry that she got dumped, it was a magazine lusting after a story. Anything to catch Drake of Jacob’s Ladder in a compromising position.

As the taxi pulled up to the mansion, he found the gate locked. “Push the call button,” Drake demanded as he rolled his window down. The driver did as he asked, and Drake leaned forward. The black car pulled up behind them, effectively blocking them in and a man stepped out with a video camera.

“Drake! Who lives here? What are you doing in Phoenix?” he asked. Drake ignored him.

Damien’s voice came through the call box. “She doesn’t want you here, Drake.”

“Tell her I’m sorry, and that this comes with the territory.” Drake ignored the pap who was now gleefully rolling film.

“Who lives here, Drake?” the pap asked again.

“Grace doesn’t want you here. I’ll bring your stuff to the gate. She said her son deserves more,” Damien replied.

Drake froze and looked at the pap, who had a wide grin on his face. He threw caution to the wind. “Tell her I love them both.”

No response came from the box, and he fought the urge to climb the fence to go see Grace and tell her that it was part of being in a band. Having girls crawling on him was commonplace, and that he only wanted her. Then he saw Damien coming out of the mansion, toting the bags of things he’d picked up.

Drake exited the car and the gates opened slightly as Damien stepped up to them. “What’s this?” he asked, nodding toward the paparazzo.

“They found me. Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her I love her,” Drake whispered fiercely.

“She says she never wants to see you again, and for you to go.” Damien handed him his bags. “I’ll work on her, but I make no promises, son. She doesn’t want your life. Now go before you make a scene.”

Damien stepped back then, and the gates closed. Drake stared up at the house, and his heart broke as he saw Grace in the window. She was working the gates, and she didn’t want him here. “Hey, I’ll send for the car,” Drake offered and Damien nodded.

“That’s probably for the best. Take care.”

Drake trod back to the car, heartbreak written all over his face. “Drake!” the paparazzo yelled. “Tell us, who were you here with?”

Drake looked up with a dejected gaze. “The woman I love.” He clambered back into the cab and closed the door. “Can you get around him?”

“If I drive in the grass…” the cab driver responded.

“Take me to the airport.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Toby again. His fingers gripped the seat as the driver went off-roading for a moment to get around the paparazzo. “Toby, is a copter waiting?”

“Yeah, and Jane is fit to be tied. I think she had a stroke when I told her what happened.” Jane was their publicist.

“She’s going to kill me when I get back to L.A. I’ll be there soon,” Drake promised his friend, and he leaned back against the seat as he hung up.

His heart was heavy. It was choosing Grace or his career. And this time he couldn’t walk away from his career. Music was his life. At the airport, he paid the cabbie and ran for the helicopter waiting on the launch pad. The paparazzo had followed and was still rolling film. Drake knew it would be splashed on every magazine in the United States and some of the rest of the world that he was shacked up with a mystery woman in Phoenix. His biggest fear was the paparazzi digging into Grace’s life and causing trouble for her and Cain.

He couldn’t do anything to fix it or make it stop. All he could do was stay away from her and hope the paparazzi lost interest. More than likely, he knew that his record label would send him to Europe for a while, or somewhere far away from the situation. Six hours away in L.A. wouldn’t be far enough.

Once in the copter, he buckled up, and the pilot took off. Regret filled him as they flew away. I shouldn’t have come.

Chapter Ten

Grace stared at the headline on the magazine Damien had tossed on her desk. ‘Drake from Jacob’s Ladder Kicked out of Porn Mansion.’ She groaned and pushed the magazine away. “Why did you bring this in the house, Dad?”

“They’re digging into who you are and insinuating that Cain is Drake’s son. It’s making a big mess for him,” Damien explained, leaning against the door of her office.

“I don’t care,” Grace retorted. “He shouldn’t have come based on some stupid e-mail he thinks he got the day Christina died.”

“Did you ever think she was sending him back to you to try and make things right, Grace? You love him. You’ve been worse than a kicked puppy since he left. Now it’s Christmas Eve, and you’re sitting in here working. Instead of being in here with me and Cain. If you didn’t care, you’d be up and making Cain’s first Christmas magical instead of sitting there moping,” Damien snapped.

“I know,” Grace finally admitted, pushing her chair back from her computer. “I have a lot on my mind.”

Damien crossed his arms. “Tell me what’s going through that pretty, stubborn head of yours. Maybe I can help.”

Grace groaned and rubbed the back of her neck, seeking to ease some of the tension there. “Dr. Carter said Cain needs surgery. He’s set for January 7th. They’re going to cut him open and fix his heart. I was warming up to the idea of Drake being here, and I was willing to let my heart open up a little, then we were in Starbucks and these people just started mobbing him. Begging for a picture, hugging him, taking pictures, asking questions…I don’t need Cain to be around that. I’m protecting him.”

Damien sighed and stepped into the room. “Why didn’t you tell me Cain was having surgery? Dammit! Grace, I get that you think you’re protecting Cain by pushing Drake away.  You’re just creating fodder for the paparazzi. They haven’t left the front gate since Drake left, and that’s been over a week and a half. The second you step outside with Cain, they’re going to be taking pictures, and you’ll be all over the magazines again. You’re not protecting Cain, you’re hiding.”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want him to know. I figured he’d be gone before the surgery, and I didn’t want to hold him in any way. A guy like that…they don’t stay. I thought the newspaper at Yale was bad enough, this is horrible,” Grace wailed, her head in her hands.

“Look, you can live your life in fear, like you’re doing now, or you can admit you love the guy, admit you were wrong, and reach out to him. Either way, his career is still gonna be there. The paparazzi will still be there. Even if he drops out of the band and walks away, he’ll be fodder for a while. They’re even more curious because you’re hiding away and no one has seen you since. The kid seems to genuinely care about you and Cain. If you don’t give him a chance, how are you gonna know if he’ll stay or not?” Damien continued.

Grace stood from her chair and walked to the window. Staring out, she sighed seeing the black car of the paparazzi sitting in front of the gate. “I can’t do anything right now. After his surgery maybe. I can’t focus on that crap and Cain too. Cain is more important.”

Damien stepped up behind her and touched her shoulders. “It’s your choice, Grace. I’ll support you no matter what you decide. I just want you to be happy.”

Grace leaned back into her father’s embrace. “Thanks, Dad. I am. Let’s take Cain and go down and make cookies.”

Grace kept herself busy. Baking enough cookies to feed a small army, wrapping Cain’s presents and her father’s and slipping them under the tree, and staying up late to watch sappy Christmas romances took up some of the time. As long as she was busy she didn’t have time to think. And being too busy to think kept her numb. And being numb meant not missing Drake, and not missing Drake gave her some normalcy that she desperately needed.

Christmas morning dawned bright and sunny, and she readied Cain for his very first Christmas. Joy filled her as she watched the tiny boy tear at his wrapping paper and be more fascinated with the shiny paper than the toys underneath. Damien handed her a present, a small, green wrapped box.

“What’s this?” she asked, and Damien shrugged, a smirk on his lips.

“Open it and find out,” he suggested.

Grace unwrapped the paper and found a small jewelry box inside. “Dad, you didn’t have to…”

“I didn’t.” Damien smiled and picked up Cain.

Opening the box, she found a small gold pendant of a mother holding a child inside and tears filled her eyes. “How?”

“The day he left he was going to give it to you. He mailed it to me and asked that it be put under the tree.” Damien grinned like the cat who ate the canary, and Grace closed the box with a snap.

“I don’t want it.”

“Aw now, Grace, don’t be like that. It’s pretty. Put it on,” Damien pleaded.

“Cain might break it,” she explained, blinking away a fresh round of tears.

“Do what you want.” Damien acquiesced, turning his attention back to the baby. Grace palmed the box between her hands and stood abruptly.

“How about dinner?” She smiled brightly, forcing the thoughts of the man she loved far away.

Once Christmas was over, and the presents were packed away, Grace found her hands idle and then her mind began to wander. Slipping out of bed, she tiptoed to her computer and searched the gossip sites to find out what Drake was doing.

He had been spotted in Moscow with his band mate Toby, and they were at some kind of bar. Jealousy twisted somewhere deep inside as she read the article. They’d been spotted partying with the Russian pop star Lavish, who was ridiculously pretty.

I guess that’s it then. You’re off partying. It’s for the best.

*  *  *

Drake sat alone in the hotel room in Moscow while Toby entertained the very beautiful Lavish in the next room. He turned the TV up as Lavish’s screams pierced the air. Apparently, what had started out as a couple of drinks had turned into something else entirely. Lavish had hinted several times at a threesome before reluctantly going with Toby to the next room.

Gross, I’m not banging the same chick my best friend is. I don’t need to see Toby banging anything either. And I don’t want to do that shit. I’m in enough trouble with our manager and publicist. I think they’d shit and fall back in it if it leaked to the tabloids that I had a threesome.

He drank another small bottle of vodka and wallowed in his misery. Christmas was long over in America and he hadn’t heard anything from Grace. He didn’t have any idea if she’d gotten the present, or if she liked it. The silence from her was more than he could stand. His record label had jetted them off to Russia, hoping the tabloids would drop the story of Drake and the porn mansion.

Instead, they were hinting now of the exact thing Lavish had been. He hoped and prayed that Grace was staying off the Internet and wasn’t believing the lies that the scum told. Pacing around the room, he drank another little bottle of vodka and dropped it to the floor when it was empty.

Next he started in on the tiny bottles of whiskey and drained two of them down. Love me, Grace. Call me. E-mail, smoke signals, something. Please. I need to know there’s a chance we could have a future. He drank another tiny bottle of whiskey and tried to watch television. It was impossible for him to focus on the plot of the show.

All he could think of was Grace kissing him back with such fervor and heat in her bedroom back in Phoenix. If we hadn’t been interrupted I wouldn’t have been able to stop. Just like the first time. Fate isn’t going to give me another chance. It’s just not gonna do it. My God, I’m drunk.

“Hey, Drake.”

He turned to see Lavish standing in the doorway, her bleached blonde hair tumbling around her shoulders and her tiny body encased in a matching crimson red bra and panty set. “Hey,” he mumbled back.

“Why are you sitting in here all lonesome?” She came forward, and Drake shrugged.

“You’re screwing Toby. I’m just wallowing in my misery.” Lavish knelt beside his chair, and Drake glanced down at her. “What?”

“I could make you forget her, Drake. I could make it all better, all you have to do is just let me,” she breathed, her hand creeping along his thigh.

Drake shook his head firmly. “No.”

“Aw, come on, just one time. It’s just sex.” Her hand trailed higher, and Drake pushed it away. The world became slightly fuzzy.

“Stop it. I don’t want you,” Drake garbled out.

“I want you, and Lavish always gets what Lavish wants…” she breathed, her mouth somehow just inches from his own.

“Grace...” The last thing he remembered was Lavish straddling his lap. “Grace…what are you doing here?” he slurred, wrapping her in his arms. He stood, and he wavered, nearly dropping the girl in his arms. “I’m so glad you came back, Grace. I love you.” He stepped forward to lay Grace back on the bed and fell, groaning as his head struck the nightstand beside the bed. “Ow…”

*  *  *

A few nights later Grace was back on the computer, scouring the gossip sites for word on Drake. It was becoming an obsession to know where he was and what he was doing, at least from the paparazzi viewpoint. Her dad was right, she did love him, and once everything was done with Cain’s surgery, she’d consider calling him and trying to work things out. Right now acting like a crazy stalker worked for her.

Her heart pounded as she came across an article where the singer he’d been pictured with claimed she’d had sex with him and his band mate Toby in a wild threesome. Bile rose in Grace’s throat, and she clamped her hand over her mouth at the pictures attached to the article. The buxom, petite blonde lay draped over Drake, her butt cheeks out as she straddled his lap. She couldn’t quite see all of Drake’s face. It looked as though his eyes were closed in pleasure.

Oh yeah, you never had sex with any groupies. Well, I guess since I sent you away, you were free to bone anything you wanted. So you did. I’m glad I saw this. Now I can stop pining away for you. You showed your true colors. Now I can be a mother to my child and forget you ever came up to my front door. I can forget you ever showed me any kindness. I can forget that you kissed me, that you loved me.

She logged off the internet and pulled out her diary. Most of the entries in the small purple bound journal were about Cain and growing up with him, raising the small boy and her struggles. This entry would be pouring out her feelings about Drake. For good. Just like the last journal had been.

Dear Diary,

I’m heartbroken. Completely and utterly shattered. When he kissed me, I believed that maybe, just maybe we could somehow figure out a way to make it work. How could something that is so wrong for me feel so right? I just needed time. Time to figure myself out and get Cain through this surgery. Sure, I did the wrong thing, I pushed him away without any explanation. I can’t be in this life. I can’t deal with the constant innuendos from paparazzi and everyone in my business all the time. He made it clear with his little photo shoot that we have nothing. How gross can you be to take pictures of yourselves having sex? Well, I mean, other than what Dad does, but that’s totally different. It’s time to move on and pretend he was never here. Cain needs me. I need to be there for him.

Goodbye, Drake.

I loved you and let you go. God, this feels like déjà vu. Although this time, my face and yours are spread across the world, not just Yale. I’m not interested in this life. You came back once, you won’t come back again. We made our choices in life and now we both have to deal with the repercussions. I leave you here, as the ink drying on the pages of my diary. Another chapter of my life that is done.

Grace

Chapter Eleven

Grace bent and pressed a kiss to her son’s tiny forehead. “I’ll see you soon, baby.” The nurse smiled reassuringly as she rolled him away in the tiny bed. Damien’s strong arm came around her, and she accepted his comfort.

“It’s going to be okay, Grace,” he promised.

“I know, Dad, it’s just so hard to see them taking my little boy away. He’s so tiny. What if something goes wrong? All it takes is one slip of a scalpel and he’s dead. I can’t imagine life without him,” Grace wailed.

“Come now, don’t think like that,” Damien admonished, squeezing her tighter. “Grandma and Grandpa are coming in, and we’re all going to be here for him when he comes out of surgery like a champ. He’s going to. I know he will.”

Grace hugged her father and turned to sob into his shoulder. “I’m so scared.”

“All parents are scared when their children have to go through something scary,” Damien murmured.

“He’ll be fine.” Grace pulled back and wiped her eyes quickly, forcing her panic deep down inside. “He’ll do great.”

“That’s my girl.” Damien chucked her under the chin, and Grace gave him a watery smile.

“I’m going to find some coffee.”

“Okay, I’ll hang here,” Damien offered, sitting in a taupe chair in the waiting room.

Grace hurried down the hall, her tears flowing freely again. He’s so tiny… The morning had been rough from the start, with the paparazzi snapping pictures the whole way out of the gate. Cain had gotten scared and started to cry, and Damien had yelled at the paparazzi, telling them to buzz off like the vultures they were.

Then Cain had really sobbed, his wails getting louder and stronger. Grace had kept driving, hoping the hum of the road would soothe him as it usually did. Finally, her sweet boy had dozed off again. Now he was back in the operating room, having his little chest opened and his heart operated on.

Once she came to the vending machine, she purchased two cappuccinos, one for her and one for her father. Her steps grew heavy as she moved back down the hallway. “Hey!” a voice said and a hand touched her arm.

Grace glanced over at the middle-aged woman who was grinning widely. “What?”

“You’re that girl they showed on TMZ this morning! You have Drake’s baby! Oh my God, and you’re at this hospital! Why are you here? What do you think of him and that Russian trollop? Me, myself I don’t get the appeal of scrawny broads like that. Were you two together? Oh my goodness, wait until I tell my friends!” The woman clung to her arm, and Grace pushed her away in her panic, forgetting she had a cup of hot coffee in both hands. The creamy drink in her left splattered all over the woman’s front. She screamed, and Grace took off at a dead run.

“I’m sorry!” she called as she ran. Hysteria filled her and by the time she made it back to the waiting room, she was in a complete panic attack. Her father stood and rushed toward her.

“Grace, what’s wrong?” Damien asked, his brows knitted with concern.

“Some lady…saw me on TV. I dumped my coffee on her. Oh my God. She’s going to tell people we’re here. They think Cain is Drake’s baby.” Grace panted.

“You need to calm down. Who gives a shit if some old biddy saw you here? No one is going to bother you and Cain. Not while I’m breathing. I promise you it will be okay. I’ll make some calls and get bodyguards in here for you, okay? Just sit down and drink your coffee.” Damien led her to a chair, and Grace collapsed into it, gripping her coffee cup with trembling hands. He made a quick call, simply stating that, “I need guys.”

Within half an hour, four tall, broad shouldered, black garbed men were standing beside her, two on either side of her chair. They never said a word. Apparently, they knew what their job was and it wasn’t socializing with her. Grace sipped her now cold coffee. “They’re scary,” she mumbled to her father.

“They’re supposed to be. I should’ve had them this morning at the gate too. We use these guys sometimes when there’s a crazy perv after one of our girls or something. Now I’m using them to protect my daughter and my grandson.” Damien squeezed her hand, and Grace tried to smile.

The doctor came into the waiting room a short while later. The bodyguards moved closer, blocking her from seeing him. “Move!” Grace demanded. “I can talk to him.”

“Ah, we need bodyguards?” Dr. Carter asked, obviously confused.

“Long story.” Grace brushed off the question as she stood. “How is Cain?”

“The surgery went well. We’re going to watch him for a bit, then put him in the neonatal ICU and monitor him for a few days. He may be here a bit, it is just touch and go right now. We’re going to be watching for fluid on his lungs, infection, the surgery possibly failing, bleeding, et cetera. I feel it was a success.” Dr. Carter smiled brightly. “You can come see him if you want. You’ll have to scrub up.”

“Yes!” Grace jumped at the chance to be with her son. “I will.”

“Ah, your…guards will have to stay outside recovery,” Dr. Carter informed her.

“They will,” Damien spoke up. “They’re just here to keep any paparazzi out.”

Dr. Carter blinked a few times, confusion written on his face. “Ah, okay.”

“It’s a long story, like I said.” Grace smiled. “Can we go?”

“Absolutely.” Dr. Carter darted down the hallway, his shoes squeaking slightly as he went, and Grace had to almost run to keep up with him. Her breath came fast, and she ignored a slight stitch in her side, her only focus was seeing her son. “They have to stay outside. Let’s get your hands washed and you in some scrubs.”

Grace pointed at the four hulking men. “Stay. Sit. Good boys.”

Damien chuckled and hugged her quickly. “It’s going to be fine. We’ll be out here.”

Grace hugged him back, relishing the comfort. “I know.” Stepping through the swinging doors, she followed Dr. Carter’s instructions to wash her hands to the elbows, and pulled on scrubs over her clothing. The last thing was a cap over her hair.

“We’re ready. Remember to be quiet” he reminded her, and Grace nodded, unable to speak anyway from the lump in her throat.

They moved through another set of doors, and Grace saw her small son lying in a bed, hooked to tubes, his little eyes closed in slumber. Tears filled her own eyes and she fought to keep from crying. “Oh God,” she murmured, rushing for the edge of his bed. “Oh, sweet Cain…”

“He did great,” Dr. Carter reassured her, his voice soft and low. “We’ll just be watching him now.”

Grace nodded, reaching forward to gently smooth the blanket that was draped over him. “He’s just so small.”

“We’ve done this surgery on babies much, much smaller, and they made it through just fine. We only waited with him because it wasn’t causing him too many problems. With the medicine not working, it was time. I’ve got to go make a few rounds, your nurse will be back momentarily. If you notice anything, or have any concerns, please let her know.” Dr. Carter took his leave, and Grace longed to pick up Cain and hold him in her arms. He looked so very fragile lying in the bed, so small and innocent. Too small for such big surgery. He was a fighter, just like Christina had been.

Leaning over him, Grace pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. Oh, sweet boy, I love you.

A couple of hours later, Cain was moved into the neonatal ICU, where they kept him sedated and on a ventilator. Grace couldn’t bear to leave his side. She kept watch over him just like she’d done for his mother.

“Grace, you need some rest,” Damien murmured, touching her shoulder.

“No. I need to be here with Cain.” She insisted.

“He’s not going to die, Grace. He’s going to be right here,” Damien argued.

“That’s what they thought about Christina too. They were wrong. I’m not leaving his side until I can take him home,” Grace declared.

“You have to rest sometime, honey. I know you’re scared,” Damien continued, squeezing her arm soothingly.

“I’m more than scared, Dad. I’m terrified. I can’t lose him too,” Grace whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I just can’t.”

“I’m going to go and get some rest. Grandma and Grandpa are here, do you want to see them?” Damien offered.

“Tell them tomorrow. Go rest. I’ll nap here in the chair. I love you all.”

Damien kissed the top of her head and left the room. Grace curled up in the little chair and watched her son. I hope you feel no pain, sweet baby. Her lids grew heavy, and she closed them, for just a moment. I’m right here…

Chapter Twelve

Drake had absolutely no idea that someone had taken pictures of Lavish sprawled across his lap. He didn’t even remember her being in his room. That was, until he saw them splashed across the front of a Russian tabloid. He was pretty certain nothing had happened, but the pictures were incriminating. All he knew was that he’d woken up on the floor of the hotel room with a huge goose egg on the side of his head and a massive hangover. He’d been completely dressed, not even his pants were unbuttoned.

With the way Lavish had been sprawled across him, her backside in the air, it definitely looked as though more was going on. He felt very much like a pawn in a game. Lavish had a record that was dropping, and all this buzz was sure to set her up for success. With Jacob’s Ladder ready to go back on tour, he wondered if it was all about hype for them set up by some big wig executive in an office.

It didn’t make him too happy to be a sellout. The rest of the band was pretty pissed off too. They felt as though it had been a huge set up. Toby wasn’t happy that the label was pushing for less of their trademark ballads on the next CD and more party songs with dubstep. It wasn’t who they were.

Jacob’s Ladder had always been about writing real music, telling stories with their songs, and not being the over produced crap that was the hot thing. The rest of the band had arrived in Moscow to talk about their plans. The first stop of the tour was Japan, and they’d be heading there the next day.

Toby pulled some beers out of the mini fridge in their room. “I’m telling you, that bitch used you, Drake.”

Drake shrugged and took a beer from Toby. “I don’t remember anything happening.”

“All she kept saying is that she wanted to do us both, and we were both like no way in hell. I mean, dude, I love you and all. I don’t want to see your junk. Seeing it in gym in junior high was scarring enough,” Toby quipped, passing out beers to the rest of the guys.

“Shut up, man!” Drake laughed, thinking back to the simpler time.

The band had started in Toby’s garage when they were twelve, and Toby and Drake had been the heart and soul of the band for years. Drake leaving the band to pursue a “real career” had caused a rift between them. They patched it up eventually, realizing that the music didn’t matter as much as their friendship did.

Drake would be forever grateful that Toby and the guys had immediately welcomed him back to the band with open arms. It had been coincidence that their guitarist had quit just the week before he left teaching at Yale. The guys were his best friends, and he was glad to be back with Toby, Jordan, Kyle, and Louie.

Jordan was the backup singer of the band, he’d joined them when they were sophomores in high school. He was tall, tanned, and girls swooned over his raspy vocals. Kyle was the drummer, a dorky loner who had tagged along with the group until he proved he was good enough to join. Kyle hadn’t been the most popular kid in school. In fact, he’d been a weird Goth guy. Chicks seemed to really dig his black hair and eyeliner these days. Louie was the bass player, and he had come along when they were seniors when Drake switched from bass to guitar. They’d held auditions in the gym of their school, and Louie had shown he had bass prowess.

“What the hell, man, are you here on planet Earth?” Jordan yelled, throwing a pillow at Drake and hitting him square in the face.

“What?” Drake retorted. “I was just thinking!”

“Well, dude, penny for your thoughts?” Jordan held his hands wide and smirked.

“I was thinking about the girl in Phoenix,” Drake admitted.

“Yeah, he’s in love with her.” Toby explained, grinning as he sipped his beer.

Drake slugged him in the shoulder. “Shut up.”

“Well, you are!” Toby laughed, rubbing at his arm.

“So what? She sent me away, and if she’s seen those pictures of me and Lavish, then it’s over.” Drake plopped on the edge of the bed and sighed.

“Oh shit, you’re in love with her. Dude, you can’t just…like, walk away from that,” Kyle spoke up. “You’ll regret it the rest of your life.”

“Damn, dude, waxing all poetic. Don’t tell me you’re still lusting after Mrs. Tyler,” Jordan quipped. Mrs. Tyler had been the very hot thirty-something high school English teacher they’d all had as juniors.

“Hey, I’m just telling you, when she called me into her room it wasn’t just to talk about papers. That woman was magnificent. I wish I’d kept up with her.” Kyle reminisced, a ghost of a smile touching his lips.

“Yeah, I bet you couldn’t keep up with her!” Louie snorted. “What did you last, thirty seconds?”

“Go to hell, asshole,” Kyle snapped, rolling his eyes as he drained his beer. “You’re just jealous I have an eight inch dick and you’ve got five.”

Louie’s handsome face went stormy. “I do not!”

Drake groaned and flopped back on the bed. “Stop.” Sometimes having all the guys together in one room reminded him of being in high school all over again, and it was annoying. He’d always been the peacemaker. How the band had stayed together without them strangling each other while he’d been gone for almost ten years he wasn’t sure.

“All right, fine. So what are you gonna do about this girl?”

“I don’t know,” Drake admitted. “She doesn’t want this life.”

“You gonna leave the band again?” Toby asked, irritation clouding his voice.

“No.” Drake sat back up. “You guys feel like having a jam session?”

“Let’s do it.” Jordan offered. “What do you have in mind?”

“I need to write. It’s been a while,” Drake admitted. “I haven’t written a song since we were teenagers.”

“Get your guitar and let’s do it.” Toby suggested, and Drake slid off the bed and ambled over to his guitar case. Pulling out the glossy, navy blue acoustic guitar, he strummed it a few times.

“What are we writing about?” Louie asked, the hotel notepad and pen in hand.

“Love and messing up and losing it,” Drake replied as he strummed out a slow beat. Over the next few beers and hours, the song Saving Grace was born. It went just like this.

Saving Grace – Jacob’s Ladder

It just took one time looking in your pretty brown eyes for me to fall hard

So deep

Deeper than I ever fell before

No

I wanted you, you wanted me, and it all seemed an impossibility

Then it was us for a moment

When it all fell down, you ran away, and I left town

When it all fell apart, you stole away, and I broke your heart

You, you were my saving grace.

You shook my world up and made me face

Everything I never wanted to see

You made me whole

You made me…me

Second chance it came again

I wanted so much to be more than just your friend

Your heart can’t see

That loving me could be so easy

I could save you from yourself

If you gave us a chance

When it all fell down, you ran away, and I left town

When it all fell apart, you stole away, and I broke your heart

You, you were my saving grace.

You shook my world up and made me face

Everything I never wanted to see

You made me whole

You made me…me

So here I’m begging on my knees

I’m just asking you…please

Don’t steal away

Don’t steal away

Just stay

Grace, just stay

I can’t lose what we have

No, not again

Because you’re my saving grace

Drake put down his guitar and blew out a breath. “What do you think?” he asked, surveying his band mates’ faces.

“It’s good, man.” Jordan started. “You know the label isn’t gonna let it on the record.”

“Fuck the label,” Toby shouted. “I’m just about sick of this shit anyway.”

“They’re trying to change us,” Kyle agreed. “This dubstep and over polished lyrics ain’t us.”

“We should just…sing this song to open with tomorrow night,” Louie suggested. “It’s an amazing song. Hell, it’s better than what’s on the record. It’s real. It’s deep, and Drake’s gonna sing it to the girl he loves.”

There was a collective silence in the room, then the guys all seemed to speak at once.

“Hell yes!” Jordan pumped his fist in the air.

“I love it. A big middle finger to the label,” Kyle agreed.

“He wrote it. He feels it, he should sing it,” Toby remarked.

“What? No!” Drake shouted.

“Yes! You’re gonna do it!” Toby gripped his arm, his blue eyes fervent in their drunken intensity. “Sing to her, man. Chicks love being sung to.”

“I’m the guitarist. Not the singer,” Drake argued.

“Man, you have a great voice. Just sing what you feel, and you can’t screw that up. It’s about time we took the reins back from these stuffy ass execs,” Toby insisted.

“If you guys are sure…” Drake swallowed nervously and looked at his friends.

“We’re sure. We’re gonna stick together whatever this brings. I’m ready to get back to our roots. This fame thing is draining us all out. I see why so many people turn to drugs. It’s like everyone is an emotional vampire, wanting to drink just a little bit of your talent and taste a little of your soul. What happens when you have nothing left? I for one am not willing to find out.” Jordan sighed softly.

“We were all happier as an indie band, weren’t we?” Kyle interjected.

“I think we were.” Toby nodded, sipping on his lukewarm beer. “We were real.”

“We were broke.” Louie reminded them.

“We had our souls,” Toby retorted.

“Yeah, I can’t say I like who we are anymore. Banging groupies, singing songs that don’t mean anything…our real fans deserve better,” Louie agreed, his shoulders bowing in with the burden of their lives.

“Fame isn’t free,” Drake piped up. “Maybe Grace was right pushing me away to keep her son safe.”

“I’m trying to think of when the last time was I called my mom,” Toby groaned. “My God, I didn’t call her at Christmas, I was too busy partying.”

“We’ve kinda lost our way, I think. I know I came back into this when we were starting to really get big, so I don’t have as much say. You guys beat out the path on your own the last almost ten years. I’ll follow your lead with this. If you want me to sing the song, I will,” Drake promised, reaching out his hand for them to stack theirs on top. “We’re a team.”

“We’re family,” Toby corrected him, slapping his hand on top. “We’re going to go back to who we were. Not who they want us to be. Do we have any more songs in the binder that we can pull out? Let’s give Japan the best damn concert we can. Let’s remember why we love music.”

Jordan slapped his hand on top of Toby’s. “I’m in.”

Kyle was next. “Does this mean I can wear all black?” The record executives had toned down Kyle’s dark style, saying he came across as creepy, instead of sexy.

“Wear what you want, man,” Toby replied.

Louie was the last to put his hand on the stack. “Let’s give them who we are. We’re Jacob’s Ladder, and we’re not sell outs.”

Chapter Thirteen

“He’s coding!”

Grace jerked awake at the yell and stumbled out of the chair. A nurse was screaming “Code blue!” and her hands moved fast over Cain’s body.

“What’s happening?” Grace sobbed as she panicked.

A doctor ran into the room and muttered, “Shit!”

“What’s happening?” she repeated, her breath coming fast. “What’s wrong with Cain?”

“His oxygen levels are down. There is a chance something is wrong with his lung, or maybe we nicked the phrenic nerve during surgery. We have to get him back to the operating room now, or we’re going to lose him.” The doctor unlocked the bed and before Grace could speak, he was racing down the hallway with him.

She collapsed, her knees thudding on the floor and she wept, great body wracking sobs of terror. Oh my God, Cain! No no no! I only slept for a moment, you can’t die too! No, you can’t! A nurse in bright pink scrubs gripped her elbow and pulled her standing.

“Miss Evans, you have to calm down. The doctors are taking care of him. Let’s go to the chapel, I understand your panic and fear. We have to let the other babies rest.”

Grace blindly followed the nurse, completely unable to see through the tears she cried. They moved through the waiting room outside the NICU. “Miss Evans! Grace! What’s wrong? Have you heard from Drake?”

She swiped at her eyes and panicked at the flash of a camera. The great, hulking bodyguard gripped the middle-aged woman wielding the pocket-sized camera by the collar. “You said you were her mom! Miss Grace, I’m so sorry! She said you called her! I told her she had to wait until visiting hours.”

“I lied! Grace! What’s wrong with Drake’s baby? Is he dead?” The paparazzo ignored the bodyguard pulling her down the hallway, she was only after her story.

The nurse gripped her elbow and dragged her along to the quiet of the chapel. “Sit down and breathe!” Grace felt herself being pushed onto a bench, and she gripped at her chest, forcing herself to calm down.

“Cain!” Grace gasped out, needing to know if her son was all right.

“I will let them know you are here. No one will come in here and bother you, okay? Can I get you anything?”

Grace shook her head and wrapped her arms tight around her middle. “Can you call my dad for me?”

“Absolutely.” The nurse hurried away, and Grace stood from the little bench she sat on. Kneeling before the little altar in the room, she prayed. Praying hadn’t helped Christina, but she needed to try anyway for Cain.

A short while later, her father’s voice reached her ears. “Baby. Grace. Come here.” He knelt beside her, and Grace turned and launched herself into his arms. Damien rocked her back and forth, running his hand up and down her back to soothe her. “Shh, the doctors are taking care of him.”

“I can’t lose him!” Grace wailed. “I just can’t. There was a paparazzi lady here and the bodyguard thought it was my mom!”

“He’s been relieved from duty. I told them not to trust anyone, so the paps sent some sweet looking old lady. Bastards! Damn leeches are always after a story. Baby, I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. No one should be hounded by jerks like that while they’re trying to deal with a medically fragile child.”

The nurse entered the chapel. “They have him out of surgery.”

Grace stood and wiped at her eyes and nose. “Is he okay?”

“He pulled through the surgery. The doctors would like to talk to you, though. Come with me.” She smiled and opened the door for them.

They hurried down the hall and back into the NICU where two doctors stood waiting. “Miss Evans.”

“How is he?”

“He’s doing okay. There is a small risk during the surgery of nicking or bruising the phrenic nerve, which controls the diaphragm. His diaphragm locked up on him, and he couldn’t breathe. His carbon dioxide levels were rising, and his oxygen levels were dropping. We had to do something called a diaphragm plication,” the first doctor explained.

“Okay, what’s that?” Grace asked.

“Basically, we are trying to flatten the diaphragm so the lung has more room to expand. He is breathing much better now. We will be watching for infection. I think he’s going to be okay.”

Grace sagged against her father in relief. “I was so scared.”

“I understand, and it’s going to be a little bit of a longer road for him now. I think we’ve made it through the worst of it. If you want to see him, you’re welcome to. After scrubbing, of course.” The second doctor reassured her with a gentle smile.

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” Grace whispered, her throat tight with emotion.

They washed up, and Damien slipped into scrubs. The NICU nurse led them back to his bed, and Grace breathed a sigh of relief to see Cain lying there, the little machines beeping and whirring. They let her know that he was with her still.

“He’s a fighter,” Damien whispered, and Grace smiled softly.

“Just like his mom.”

“Just like both of them.”

*  *  *

Drake blew out a slow breath as the band got ready to go on stage. This was it. Jacob’s Ladder was taking back their image and their name. The record label had no clue that they were planning on having an acoustic, real, deep show. The big wigs in L.A. would have a shit fit if they knew.

“You ready?” Toby nudged his side, and Drake gave him a thumbs up. The music from their CD swelled, and Toby grinned as he ran on stage. Drake followed the rest of the band up to the stage, and he adjusted his guitar around his neck.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” Toby crooned into his mic. “We have something special for you tonight. Tonight Jacob’s Ladder is bringing you a special, once in a lifetime show. We’re unplugged. No music from the CD. No fancy dubstep, or songs we didn’t write. Tonight it’s just us and just you. We’re going to sing you some stuff from our hearts, and we hope you love it. Because we do, Japan, and we love you too!”

The crowd went wild, and Drake grinned at their response. He sat down on a stool beside Toby and waited as the mic was set up for him. “This first song is a song about falling in love and messing everything up. It’s for the woman I love, her name is Grace, and she saved me. Now I hope this song will help me save her. Grace, if you’re listening…I love you.”

Drake’s fingers moved slowly across the strings of the guitar and the rest of the band added in their accompaniments. He opened his mouth and poured his heart into the lyrics. As he sang, he imagined that Grace was sitting in front of him and he was singing directly to her. The bright lights faded away as he bled out his heart.

There was a moment of enraptured silence as the last faint, sweet notes left the guitar. Then the crowd exploded with clapping and cat calls. Drake grinned back at his band mates. “We did it.”

The show went on, more acoustic versions of songs never seen on a CD. Their fans ate it up, and with each song, the applause became louder until it was nearly deafening. The electric current flowing through the room was exhilarating and as the show ended, they took a bow, thanking their fans.

“That felt…real. Like it used to,” Toby remarked as they left the stage.

“What the hell was that shit?” their manager, Parker, yelled, his face a funny color of scarlet. “That was not what you were supposed to do! It was not the plan!”

Toby tossed the mic at him, and Parker caught it. “We’re not following the plan anymore.”

“What the hell do you mean you’re not following the plan? We’ve groomed you bastards to become the best. Now you want to go out there and sing some shitty acoustic songs? Your fans expected better!” Parker screamed, the veins in his neck protruding.

“They expected us to lip synch and sound just like the record. What they got was us. The real us. What they should’ve fallen in love with from the beginning,” Jordan retorted.

“No, the fans are idiots, they don’t know what they want. They want you to spoon feed them shit and tell them it’s filet mignon. That’s what you boys are. You’re shit pretending to be filet mignon, don’t forget that. What did you spend, ten plus years working hard to make it? You can be dropped off the scene in a blink.” Parker snapped his fingers together.

They glanced at each other and all shrugged. “I’d rather be shit and know I’m shit than pretend I’m something I’m not. We decided that we have to know the music we put out is real. We’re not giving up our souls to be famous and sing songs that aren’t us. So, we did this concert. And the next one, we’ll do the same thing,” Toby explained coolly.

“We have poured so much money into you ungrateful bastards!” Parker shrieked.

“We’ve made you plenty back. We want to sing what we just did on stage. If you don’t want that, tear up our contract, and we’ll find an indie record label that will give us freedom. It’s what we should have done from the beginning.” Drake looked to his band mates for reassurance.

“You got that shit right. We’re not sellouts. We’re Jacob’s Ladder,” Louie interjected.

“You bastards will rue what you have done!” Parker insisted, waggling his finger in their faces.

“Nope, you will.” Toby laughed. “The mic is still on.” He clapped the middle-aged man on his shoulder and leaned closer to the mic. “We love you, Japan! Don’t forget that!”

Moving through the venue, they loaded into the limo outside and headed back to the hotel. Jordan leaned back against the seat and blew out a breath. “Holy shit, that was intense. Toby man, where did you get the idea to leave the mic on?”

“I knew he’d be pissed off, and that the fans would turn on them. They’ll either give us what we want or let us go quietly now to avoid making waves. I know, I’m brilliant.” Toby grinned and puffed out his chest.

“It was amazing. Your quick thinking probably saved our asses,” Louie admitted.

“Well, you can all thank me later. I accept currency in the form of your first child being named after me, new cars. Speaking of which, Drake, my Porsche better be pristine, hot groupies being sent to my room, money. All is good.” Toby propped his hands behind his head and smirked.

“Watch out, he’s going to get a bigger head than he’s already got.” Kyle rolled his eyes.

“Which one?” Toby winked and thrust his hips suggestively.

Jordan had pulled out his phone and was staring at the screen with a funny look on his face. “Hey, Drake? You got a kid none of us know about?”

The mood became somber in the limo as all eyes swiveled to Drake. “What? No. I mean, the tabs were suggesting Grace’s son is mine. It’s her friend Christina’s kid. Why?”

“Ah, well, this got forwarded to me. This website has a pic of some girl sobbing and they’re insinuating your kid died.” Jordan held out his phone, and Drake took it.

He read through the article and fear coursed through him. “Something is wrong with Cain. I have to go to Phoenix.”

“Dude, she sent you away!” Toby reminded him.

“I don’t care. If Grace loses Cain, she’s going to be a wreck. She lost her best friend, had to watch her die. I can’t just let her be alone and lose him. I love her and regardless of her pushing me away, I’m gonna be there. I’ll be there if she wants me. Eventually, she’s going to break, and I want to be there to fix her,” Drake explained.

“Fuck it. Go. The band will be here. We will be here. If this is pulling you, go. None of us have someone we love like that, so I can’t say I get it. Don’t sit here and worry that we’re going to be mad. We’re not. We’ll cancel some shows, whatever. Music will be here. What you have with her won’t hang around forever. Am I right, guys?” Toby looked around the limo, and the band nodded in agreement.

“We support you.”

Drake forced back the emotions he felt and smiled instead. “You are my brothers.”

Chapter Fourteen

Drake stepped off the plane in Phoenix and slid into the limo Toby had orchestrated to be there to meet him. He hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours in the seventeen hours in travel. Jet lag gripped him and made his eyelids leaden. The only thing he could think about was getting to Grace. If Cain died, she’s wrecked. My God, why did I let her push me away?

He’d been googling every chance he got trying to find out anything about the situation. There was no further news, and it made him sick to his stomach. The little guy had been so tiny, and he hated to think about his little life being snuffed out by the universe. He’d cried several times on the trip, and he chalked it up to exhaustion. In reality, he knew it was because he loved them. Both of them. And if he could have his way, he’d make them a family.

Cain had to be okay. He prayed to a God he didn’t believe in, promising his soul, his heart, all the money in the world if only the little boy would be okay. The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever, and he drummed his fingers against his thigh in frustration. Could you drive any slower? Traffic ebbed and flowed around them, and he contemplated opening the door of the limo and running to the hospital. I might get there faster…

Finally, the limo began to move again and within half an hour, they were pulling up in front of the hospital. Drake winced as he saw the paparazzi waiting at the door. Leeches… He stepped from the car and the flash of a camera filled his eyes.

“Back up,” he growled, his voice hoarse with exhaustion.

“Is your son dead?” the paparazzo asked. Drake ignored the question, rushing into the hospital. Stopping at the front desk, he asked where the neonatal ICU was. It was the only logical place the boy would be at if he was still here.

“Third floor,” she replied. “It’s after visiting hours!”

Drake took off at a dead run to the elevator, ignoring the elderly lady who yelled after him. All he could think of was making it up to the third floor and wrapping the heartbroken Grace in his arms. Nothing else mattered. He stepped into the elevator and pushed the door close button, breathing a sigh of relief that the elderly lady had stopped yelling after him.

The few seconds it took to make it to the third floor seemed to take forever. As he left the elevator, he ran to the nurse’s station outside the sliding glass doors. “Excuse me, I need to see Grace Evans.”

The pretty blonde nurse’s expression became shuttered. “I’m sorry, she’s not receiving visitors.”

“Please,” Drake begged hoarsely, his voice cracking. “I need to see her. I need to know she’s okay. I need to know Cain is okay. Please. Just ask her to come talk to me. I’ll just keep coming back until you let me.”

The nurse huffed and turned to the phone on her desk. “I’ll make a call back and see if a nurse can reach her.”

“Thank you,” Drake whispered as he gripped the edge of the counter to steady himself.

The nurse hung up the phone and pursed her lips as she swiveled back to him. “Someone will be out shortly. You can sit over there.” She pointed to a set of chairs against the wall.

Drake shuffled over to them and collapsed in one. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, leaving his hands dangling betwixt them. He noticed two men standing nearby, wearing all black, and he wondered who they were and why they were there. As the glass door slid open, he glanced up and smiled tiredly at Grace’s father.

“Damien!”

“Drake.” The older man paused a few steps away from him and crossed his arms.

“Is Cain…” He couldn’t bear to say it. “Is he okay?” He finished lamely.

Damien nodded quickly, his lips pressed in a firm line. “Yeah, he’s okay.”

“I saw an article saying he was…” Drake explained. “I flew from Japan because I knew Grace would be a wreck.”

“We’ve both seen some articles about you too. Don’t think you can come back into Grace’s life after what you did,” Damien hissed.

“What, with Lavish? Nothing happened, I was drunk. I swear on my mother. Nothing happened. The band and I thought it was all for publicity for her and our upcoming tour. None of us were happy about it. We’ve bucked our label, and I—do you really think I’d be here if I had sex with someone else? I love Grace. I have from the moment I met her. All I could think about was her being here and Cain being sick and it wrecked me. I had to get here. I left my band. I walked away from my brothers, from my career. I didn’t just decide to bed hop and come use her. I love her, Damien. With every fiber of my being. Every breath I take the exhalation whispers her name. She’s embedded in me. I want us to be a family,” Drake explained, throwing his hands wide in frustration. “You have to believe me,” he pleaded. “Please tell her I’m here. I’ll be right here. I’ll wait. I’m not going anywhere. You tell her that, do you hear me?”

Damien sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I hear you, and I’ll tell her. I make no promises.”

“Tell her,” Drake reiterated, pointing at the glass doors. “I’ll be right here.” As Damien walked away, Drake uttered a prayer to the God he hoped was listening to him. “Let her believe me.”

*  *  *

Grace peeked around the corner, and she pressed a fist to her mouth at the shell of a man she saw sitting in the chair outside the NICU. Drake looked like he hadn’t slept in days, gray circles ringed his eyes, and they looked bloodshot and weary. His shoulders slumped low and a scruff of beard covered his cheeks.

As her father turned to walk back into the NICU, she ducked behind the edge of the wall, her pulse pounding. “I know you’re there,” Damien murmured softly as he turned the corner.

“Why is he here?” she demanded, her voice low.

“The pap who was up here pretending to be your mother sold a story to someone saying Cain was dead,” Damien replied, leaning against the wall and jamming his hands in his pockets.

“What!” Grace hissed. “That’s freaking terrible!”

“Yeah, and he saw it and left his band. He walked away from their tour, Grace. He said that nothing happened with the Russian singer chick. I’m just going to say this. Not many men would come back after being pushed away. Not many men would walk away from their career for someone either. I believe that boy loves you. No, no life is perfect, and he’s got a lot of baggage. Love can make anything possible. I know I regretted not making something work with your mother. I don’t want you to go through life regretting something like that. Yes, he’s in a band and there will always be paparazzi. I understand it’s a pain in the ass. Love can make it worth it. Don’t make him choose, Grace. That’s the only thing I can tell you. Let him love you both. Music and a family. That man is sitting out there broken, running on fumes, racing from halfway around the world to make sure you’re okay. That’s love, baby girl, and if you can’t see that, then I can’t help you,” Damien finished. “Talk to him.”

“I’m scared,” Grace whispered.

“Love is scary. When I fell in love with your mother, it scared me shitless, Grace. It wasn’t the right time. We were kids. There were obstacles, and I’d give anything to go back and make it right.  I can’t. All I can do is advise you and hope you don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t let your pride get in your way, baby. Don’t let your fear hold you back from happiness. People come in and out of our lives every day, if they stay, they’re worth holding on to,” Damien concluded.

“Thanks, Dad,” Grace murmured as she wiped at her tear filled eyes. “Watch Cain?”

“I won’t take my eyes off him, baby girl. He’ll be fine. Go and talk to the man, then tell him to go get some sleep. He looks like death.” Damien pulled her into a hug, and Grace closed her eyes, wishing somehow she could take some of her father’s strength with her. He released her altogether too soon and left her standing in the puce green hallway alone.

Grace ran her hands through her greasy hair and fixed her ponytail. She hadn’t left Cain’s side for more than a few minutes since his scare, only long enough to brush her teeth and get food. She looked like death warmed over. Taking a deep breath, she turned the corner and walked to the sliding glass door. Drake glanced up as the door slid open and his mouth gaped.

“Grace,” he whispered softly.

She held a finger to her lips and murmured, “Come with me.” The last time she’d been in the hallway she’d been verbally attacked by a paparazzo, and she wasn’t interested in having their conversation spread amongst the gossip rags. She didn’t even check to see if Drake followed her as she hustled down the hallway to the chapel.

Entering the quiet room, she glanced around and sighed in relief as she found it empty. “Why are you here?” she asked, sitting on a bench and motioning for him to join her.

“I love you, Grace. That’s why I’m here. Because I saw an article saying Cain was dead, and it killed me. I walked away from everything and jumped on the first plane I could to get back to you. All I could think of was you crying over Cain being gone, and it absolutely wrecked me. I love you both. I want a family with you. I want a future. I want happiness, Grace. I want that with you. It wasn’t coincidence we met at the bar that night. I believe it was fate pushing us together and pulling us apart, because neither of us were ready. I think we could be ready now. I can’t stay away from you. All I can think about is you. I wrote a song for you. I need you to know that nothing happened between Lavish and I. I was drunk, drinking away your memory. Because all I could think about was you and the kiss we shared. The worst of it was the horrifying fucking fear that I’d never get to hold you in my arms again.” Grace jumped as Drake came to his knees before her in the tiny chapel.

“Drake, please don’t,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes. “Please.”

His hooded gaze was feverish as his hands came to cup her cheeks. “Grace, I need to know there’s a chance. That’s all I’m asking for. Just tell me you’re not going to send me away. Tell me there’s a glimmer of hope. That’s all I need. Just a taste of a tomorrow. Please.”

The fear that held her firmly to the earth unlocked as she stared deep into his beautiful dark eyes. Her broken heart suddenly took flight in her chest and for the first time since Christina’s death, she felt something other than hopelessness. She saw a glimmer of something real in Drake’s eyes, and she clung to that as she whispered, “There’s a chance, it’s just going to take time...”

His mouth touched hers, and she shivered at the rush of emotion that coursed through her veins like an electric current. Her soul felt raw and the sweetness of his kiss was nearly painful. A sob escaped her lips, and she tasted her tears as he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.

“Grace, don’t cry. Please, sweetheart.”

Then the torrent of emotion she’d pent up for months released, and she sobbed, her wails keening in the quiet room. Drake’s arms came around her, and she gripped the front of his shirt, needing something to hold on to. She didn’t know how long she sat there and cried into his shirt, and as the tears abated, she pulled back. The front of his shirt was now damp.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, suddenly embarrassed at falling apart.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern knitting his brow, and Grace nodded, her hand touching his forearm to reassure him.

“I am. It was scary for a while. Cain had surgery on his heart to fix a problem, and his diaphragm became frozen in place and he couldn’t breathe, even on the ventilator. They had to rush him into surgery, and I was so scared. I was blubbering and the nurse took me in here and there was a woman outside. She had convinced the bodyguards she was my mother, and she snapped pictures and I guess assumed that Cain had died. Then you saw the article, I guess.” Grace explained as best she could.

“I’m so sorry. I can walk away from the band and find a job,” Drake started.

Grace held up her hand and interrupted him. “No. There’s room in your life for both things. I’m okay. Cain is okay. Go back to work.”

“Are you sure?”

Grace closed her eyes as Drake’s thumb came to her cheek, brushing away a tear. “I’m sure. Music is where your heart was the whole time. I’m not going to take that away from you. Go back and fulfill what you need to do. I’ll be here. We’ll be here. There are phones, you know.”

“I hate to leave you again,” Drake whispered.

“You’re coming back eventually. Go, Drake, we’ll be fine. We’ll work out the details later.” Grace gasped as he kissed her again. His lips moved against hers with a prowess unlike anything she’d felt from him. His tongue tangled with hers and took her breath. She trembled with desire and grasped his shoulders to steady herself. And just as quickly as he’d kissed her, it was over.

“I want to see Cain.”

Chapter Fifteen

Drake stared down at the tiny boy in the bed and his heart wrenched. He looked so impossibly small lying there, a tube running down his throat to help him breathe and his skin so porcelain pale. “Are you sure he’s okay?” he whispered, and Grace touched his shoulder and nodded.

“He’s doing okay. It just looks worse than it is. They’ve got him sedated a bit until he heals up more.” She reassured him.

“Can I touch him?” he asked, needing to feel that the boy was real.

“You can. Just don’t pick him up,” Grace cautioned him.

“I’d be too scared to hold him right now, he looks so fragile and weak. I’d be afraid I’d break him in my clumsiness,” Drake mumbled nervously as he reached into the bed and stroked a downy wisp of blond hair off the boy’s forehead. Bending, he pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “You gotta get better, kiddo. Your mama and I want to see you raising hell, you hear me? You gotta fight. I can’t stay long, baby. I’m here right now. I wish I could crawl in there and make it better. Somehow take all this from you. You’re strong and you’re going to pull through. Then I’ll take you and we’ll get you some cool toys or something. I can buy you toys, right?” He glanced over his shoulder at Grace for reassurance.

“You can buy him toys. In moderation.”

He turned back to the tiny boy. “Okay, she said moderation. That means not the whole toy store. Get better, and I’ll get you half the toy store, okay? That’s moderation.”

“You’re going to spoil him,” Grace sighed, and Drake grinned back at her.

“You got that shit right. He deserves it. So do you. Everything I can give you and more.”

She shook her head and propped a hand on her hip. “We don’t want your money. We want your time.”

“I’ll give you all the time I can.”

“You’ll be touring,” Grace retorted.

“Well, yeah, part of the year. When Cain gets strong enough, you can come with me. He’ll be stronger one day, and we can travel together. Until then, I’ll need you to trust that I’m coming home to you, and you’ll have my heart here. I know it’s not going to be easy. But I know we can do this.” Drake shifted and pulled her into his arms.

“I know,” she whispered. “The doctors will be in soon, can you stay long enough to talk to them?”

“Yeah, absolutely. I’m going to slip out and call the guys. I know they want to know what’s going on. I mean, hell, they still think that he’s, well…you know,” Drake murmured.

Grace paled visibly, and she nodded. “I can’t believe they printed that.”

“I’m sorry they did. The paparazzi aren’t well known for being honest, good hearted people. They’re out for a story. Stay off the gossip sites.” Drake advised her as he eased around her and moved for the door. “I’ll be right back.”

Hurrying out of the NICU doors, he plopped in the chairs outside the doors and eyeballed the guards who still stood there. He pulled his phone from his pocket and called Toby. The phone rang and finally Toby’s sleepy voice answered.

“What?”

“Cain is okay,” Drake informed him.

“Oh shit, Drake, it’s you. Okay, give me a second to get coherent.” He heard Toby fart, yawn, and stretch. “I’m good now.”

“That was gross.” Drake wrinkled his nose.

“Like you don’t do it? Shut up. So the kid is okay? What about your girl? Is she going to come off the warpath and let you stay?” Toby asked matter-of-factly.

“She and I are going to give it a shot to make things work. It’s going to take time. Cain is okay, he just had  emergency surgery. She said the doctors are coming in soon, and I wanted to talk to them, you know, for my own peace of mind.”

“So, are you dropping us again?” Toby sneered.

“No, I’m not. I’m in this band. I’m going to fly out and be at our next show. Paris, right?”

“For serious? You’re coming back? We thought for sure you were going to back out.” Toby seemed to be impressed.

“I was a kid the last time I left, man. I had my parents in my ear. I love Grace. She had to understand I love my music too. And she does. So what’s the label planning to do?” Drake wondered if they frankly had a tour to return to.

“They’re getting some pretty rough backlash from fans, and they’ve agreed to let us continue on our tour doing acoustics. Sales are actually better since Parker’s little outburst. They’d be stupid as hell to let us go now. Parker’s been doing some serious ass kissing too.”

Drake chuckled softly. “Okay. I’ll see you in Paris soon.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna get up and fly that way later today. Safe travels, brother, and give our best to your family.” Toby disconnected the call, and Drake stared down at his cell phone for a moment.

My family. Why does that sound incredibly foreign as a concept? I mean, sure, I have my parents, but this…Grace and Cain, they are my family. We’re going to try to make a family. A mixed up, messy, imperfect one. All thanks to Christina. He sat there for a moment feeling completely humbled and grateful that fate had turned the wheel in their favor.

When Grace had left the hotel, it had wrecked him, wholly. Losing her had hit hard. He’d just tried to stay busy to ignore the emptiness. Now there was no emptiness. Everything felt right. Standing, he moved to the nurse’s station and requested to be let back in the NICU. She gave him no flack this time, and he strolled into the room where Cain lay, only to see a doctor at his bedside.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered to Grace as he hurried to the bedside.

“It’s fine.” She smiled warmly. “The doctor is just letting us know what’s going on. Dad stepped out so you could be in here with me.”

He turned his attention to the man in the white coat. “How is he?”

“He’s doing better every day. His oxygen levels are going up, his carbon dioxide levels are going down, his heart is pumping, and I think we can try to remove the ventilator in a day or two and see how he’s doing. I’m hoping within the next two weeks he can go home. Once we remove the ventilator, we’ll take him off sedation. It’s hard with older babies, they want to grab the tubes and pull them out,” he explained.

“I’m so glad. I’ve been so worried,” Grace murmured, and Drake pulled her into his side.

“I know. It was touch and go there for a little bit. He’s going to be okay. The one concern I do have when we remove the tubing is that there may be some damage to his vocal cords. It’s very common with surgeries, and he may have issues with being hoarse for a while. It should improve.”

“We will cross that bridge when we get to it.” Grace piped up.

“Yes, we will. Let’s just give him a little more time to get stronger, and we’ll go from there. I’m happy with his progress. I’ll check in with him in the morning. Have a good night.”

“You too,” Drake replied.

“He’s going to be okay,” Grace whispered as she gazed down at the tiny boy in the bed.

“Yes, he is.” Drake squeezed her shoulder and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

“Thank you for coming and for making me realize I didn’t have to be afraid. I’ve felt so stuck since Christina died. Before that, really. I’ve always felt stuck, and I don’t feel that way now. I feel like I’m moving toward a future. And whatever that brings? I’m okay with that.” Her pretty brown eyes glistened with unshed tears, and Drake couldn’t stop himself from cupping her cheek in his hand and lowering his mouth to kiss her.

“I have to go, sweetheart,” he murmured against her mouth, dreading leaving her and Cain even before he took a step out of the room.

“Go then,” she breathed.

“I’ll come back,” he promised.

“I know.”

One final tender kiss to her mouth and he pulled back. “I’m going to call you later.”

“If I don’t answer, you’ll know I’m busy with Cain,” Grace explained quickly.

“Okay. I love you. Both of you.” He reached in the bed and took Cain’s tiny hand. “I’ll see you soon. Stay strong, little man.”

“I-I love you too,” Grace whispered. “Be safe.”

Drake tried not to focus on the fact that Cain’s hand had tightened around his finger as he withdrew it, nor the wetness trickling down Grace’s face. He pasted a bright smile on his lips and waved as he walked away. As he stripped off the scrubs at the NICU door, he felt as though he was leaving a whole lot more behind besides the ugly blue material.

He was leaving his heart with his family.

Chapter Sixteen

Drake had barely stayed twelve hours in Phoenix before he’d jetted off to Europe to rejoin the band. Grace hated to see him go, and more than anything, she missed the steadiness he’d provided. For those few hours she felt as though she could breathe, that he would help her handle everything. He’d talked to the doctors, determined to understand everything he could about Cain’s condition, and made sure Cain had the absolute best care.

In the end, she had no qualms about telling him to go. She could’ve asked him to stay and she knew he would have. He didn’t want to walk away from Cain’s bedside, and tears were shed as he did. He had an obligation and Cain was stable again. A part of her wondered if he knew subconsciously that things were better in the outside world. Sitting in the uncomfortable chair beside Cain’s little bed, she scribbled in her diary.

Dear Diary,

If you told me a few weeks ago that Drake and I would be together, and really trying to work out a future, I’d tell you that you were crazy. Here I am, dating a rock star. I jumped into the abyss, and I’m not scared anymore. I know he’s going to catch me. It’s hard with him being gone. I have the memories of him being here to hold me. Watching him kiss Cain’s forehead with such tenderness broke my heart and yet made me feel whole. Our clandestine kisses in the chapel held the promise of more, so much more, when the time is right. I have no doubts in my mind that Drake wanted to stay with Cain, and I’m sure the gossip rags will berate him for going back to his tour. I know the truth. I know his heart is here with us. He’s ringing my phone off the hook demanding to know how Cain is doing, asking if we need anything. I don’t care what anyone says or thinks about us. He’s here in spirit. He’ll be back as soon as he can, and we’ll move on from there. I’m so relieved that Cain is getting better. We’re looking at trying him off the ventilator in a few days, and it won’t be long before he can go home. Dad says I’m a different person and I guess, in a way, he’s right. I’m not afraid. I have hope. Cain will come home, and so will Drake.

Grace

Closing the diary, she slipped it into her purse and checked the time on the clock. Nearly ten at night. Her dad had promised he would come in and take the night shift so she could go home and catch some sleep and get a shower. She felt like she could leave Cain in her father’s hands for the night. Exhaustion was mild compared to what she felt, and she knew if she didn’t get some sleep and a shower, she’d be too weak to take care of Cain when he was able to come home.

Five minutes past ten, Damien walked in the NICU, and she stood from her chair and stretched. “You made it.”

Damien hugged her tight. “I told you I would. How are you feeling?”

“Okay. I miss Drake. I feel good about how we left things, though. I feel at peace, if that makes sense,” she murmured.

“It does. Go home and get some sleep. Take a taxi. One of the guards is going with you. Don’t talk to the paparazzi, okay?” Damien squeezed her one last time, and Grace stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

“I’ll be fine.” She turned and kissed her son. “I’ll be back in the morning. I love you.”

“Go,” Damien ordered, pointing at the door.

“It’s hard,” Grace whined.

“Yes, I know. You stink and you need sleep. Please go.” Damien pinched his nose and waved the air in front of it, and Grace smiled tiredly.

“I’m going.”

Slipping her purse over her shoulder, she glanced back at them. With her heart in her throat, she left the NICU. A bodyguard came to her right hand. “Miss Grace,” he mumbled, acknowledging her presence.

“Hi,” she murmured back.

“Keep your head down when we leave, okay? I’m going to pull you under my arm and get you into the taxi that’s waiting. Last check only two dedicated paparazzi were out there. Since Mr. Drake left, I don’t know,” he explained.

Grace nodded as they got on the elevator, and she leaned back against the cool metal wall. “I don’t think I can get used to this.”

“We’ll be fine. Just ignore them,” the hulking man advised.

“Okay.” Grace sighed.

As they stepped out of the elevator and made it down the hallway, she dropped her chin to her chest and allowed herself to be pulled under the guard’s arm. “Here we go.”

Grace winced at the flashes of the cameras the moment her foot stepped on the pavement outside the door. The cacophony swirling around her made her dizzy.

“Grace! Are you and Drake back together? Is the baby okay? What’s going on? Is it really his baby?” the paparazzi asked rapid-fire questions, and she struggled to ignore them. In reality, she wanted to tell them all to screw off. It was best to be silent, so your actions weren’t misconstrued.

The guard opened the taxi door, and she slid inside and moved over so he could join her. “No comment!” he growled at a paparazzo who was gripping the door and shoving a camera inside. He wrenched the door closed and there was a howl as the paparazzo’s fingers caught in the door. “It’s your fault, you bastard!”

Grace watched as the paparazzo yanked their fingers from the door and smiled with glee. “We’re going to be sued.”

“Drive please!” the guard yelled at the taxi driver, and as they rolled through the parking lot, he murmured, “I’m so sorry, Miss Grace.”

“I’m not worried about it. I just want to get home. If they sue, they sue,” Grace mumbled tiredly, her exhaustion weighing on her and making her words clumsy.

“Yes, Miss Grace.”

She dozed as they drove and jumped at a touch on her shoulder. “What?”

“We’re here.”

Looking around she was shocked to find they actually were in front of the house. “Oh. I guess I slept.”

“Let’s get you inside, Miss Grace.” She accepted the guard’s hand and stumbled up the stairs of the house. Once inside she made a beeline for her bedroom and collapsed across the bed. She remembered nothing else.

*  *  *

Drake stepped off the plane in Paris with a yawn. Sleeping on planes just wasn’t quite as great as sleeping in a bed. The exhaustion was worth seeing Grace and Cain. Pulling out his phone as he walked across the tarmac, he tried to call Grace, knowing it was most likely futile, she was probably in the NICU.

Hanging up, he sent a text message instead.

D: I love you. In Paris. Is Cain okay?

He opened the door of the limo and saw his band mates already inside. “What are you doing here? I was going to meet you at the venue!”

“We figured you should have a homecoming, brother.” Jordan grinned up at him, and Drake couldn’t stop the goofy grin that flitted across his face.

“Thanks, guys. I told you I’d be back.” He slid into the car and closed the door.

“And now we have hungry fans waiting for your song for Grace. They’ve been pissy you weren’t here for the last two shows. Face it, man, you’re now one of our singers,” Toby remarked as the limo pulled away.

“Ah, I sorta thought that was a one-time thing…” Drake muttered, embarrassment coloring his cheeks.

“Yeah, apparently chicks really dig the deep, love me songs. They want it. And what better city than this one to sing about love, huh?” Jordan smirked.

“You’re really gonna make me do it, aren’t you?” Drake groaned and clapped his hand over his eyes.

“Oh, hell yeah. You’re opening.” Kyle chuckled, obviously enjoying his discomfort.

“Has Grace heard it yet?” Toby asked, and Drake shook his head.

“No. There wasn’t time. I was more worried about the baby and her than this song.”

“So did you tap that ass?” Toby spanked the air in front of him and bit down on his bottom lip. “Please tell me you hit that.”

“You’re so immature.” Drake rolled his eyes.

“Oh shit, you didn’t hit that? What the hell, man?” Toby’s eyes went wide and his mouth fell open.

“It wasn’t the right time. I’m not a heartless bastard. I was worried about Cain, and I still am. When the time is right, we’ll be together. Not before then. It’s not just going to be about fulfilling carnal needs this time. That happened the last time, and we messed ourselves up. Not this time,” Drake insisted.

Toby’s eyes went even wider. “You really love her.”

“Yeah! I wouldn’t have just left…”

“No, no!” Toby interrupted, putting his hand up. “Like I knew you were worried about the kid being dead. We all seriously thought you were just going to tap that ass and come back if all was good. Now you’re telling us this shit is deep and real, and you’re talking like you’re contemplating putting a ring on her hand and making her yours.”

A slow smile snuck across his lips, and Drake lowered his eyes from his best friend’s intent gaze. “Maybe, man.”

The limo went into an uproar. “I knew it!” Louie shouted. “Gimme my fifty bucks!”

Jordan huffed and pulled his wallet out. “God dammit!”

Kyle sat there with a smug look on his face. “I knew it too. I just didn’t take a bet on it.”

“Oh, shut up!” Jordan barked.

Toby held out a fist for him to bump, and Drake did. As their fists touched, Toby muttered, “Well played, son. You’re the first.”

“You’ll be next,” Drake retorted playfully.

Toby sniffed and withdrew his fist. “There will be none of this settling down mess for me. I like women. All flavors of women. Chocolate, vanilla, butterscotch, caramel. Mmmm, I love the ladies.” He licked his lips and grinned. “I’ll take a triple scoop of all that action.”

Drake shook his head and laughed. “No, you’ll meet someone who tops anything you’ve ever known, and that will be it.”

“Don’t you wish that shit on me! I plan on sowing my wild oats as long as I can.” Toby shuddered in horror.

As the limo rolled to a stop in front of the venue, Drake tossed one last remark at his best friend before he exited the car. “You’ve been cursed.”

He ignored Toby’s muttered profanities as he waved to fans and signed a few autographs. They hurried to the backstage and got changed for the show. Drake checked his phone before he placed it on his dressing room table. A text from Grace made him smile.

G: Sorry I missed you. I came home to sleep. I was so tired. Gonna shower and go back to Cain. I haven’t gotten a call from the hospital, so I assume he’s well. Have a good show.

D: I will. Sending love to you both. Talk later. X

G: Sending love back. Break a leg. ;)

He slid the phone in his pocket and finished getting ready for the show. A knock came at the door and a girl peeked in. “Two minutes!”

“Coming!” Drake promised her, buttoning the last button on his navy blue shirt. His acoustic guitar was waiting for him, and he smiled at his band mates. “We ready to do this?”

“Let’s rock it.” Toby pumped his fist in the air, and they rushed on stage to exuberant applause.

Drake positioned himself on the stool in front of the mic and waved at the crowd. “Thank you all for being here tonight. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for a couple of shows, I had some things I had to take care of. I’m here with you tonight, and I’m so glad to be. Let’s get this show started with a song I wrote for the woman I love. Saving Grace.”

He strummed the guitar and sang the sweet song, pouring his heart out to the crowd. He could hear people singing along, and it shocked him that people already knew the song he’d written and performed only days before. They moved seamlessly between songs, giving the fans what they wanted and making it memorable for them.

As the last song came to a close, they took a bow, and Drake waved to the crowd. “Thank you, guys, for making what we do possible. Without you, we’d be nothing. We love you!”

They left the stage, and Toby let out a whoop. “God damn, that feels so good! It feels like it used to, just on a larger scale!”

Drake grinned and pulled his phone from his pocket. His smile faltered as he realized he’d somehow pocket dialed Grace and that a call was running. Putting it to his ear, he mumbled, “Grace?”

“That was…amazing.” Grace gasped.

“I didn’t mean to call you. I guess I didn’t shut the screen off before I put it in my pocket.”

“I was in the shower and my phone was ringing, and I thought I reached out and hit end call. I guess it answered and I heard you singing. You were singing something so beautiful…I just stood there in the shower listening. It was amazing,” she breathed, and Drake coughed nervously.

“I-uh…that was your song.”

“Wait, you butt dialed her and she finally heard it?” Toby squawked, clapping him on his shoulder and leaning close to the mouthpiece to yell. “Hey, Grace baby, he wrote that for you! Who would’ve thought our Drake had it in him?”

“Sorry, that was Toby,” Drake apologized, pushing his friend away.

“Tell him I said hi. I loved my song.”

“Well I didn’t plan on you hearing it that way…” He glanced over at Toby, who was spanking Jordan’s ass and laughing. “Oh my God, can I call you back when I’m not surrounded by thirteen-year-olds?”

Grace laughed then, the musical sound balm for his heart. “Yes. I want to hear this song again. Just me and you. I’m on my way to the hospital now.”

Drake turned away from the guys and murmured sweetly, “I love you.”

“He loooooves you!” Toby yelled out. “He wants to put a ring on it and take you to bed and make babies with you!”

“Please ignore them. I’m sorry,” Drake groaned.

“Do you?” she asked simply, and Drake panicked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I-uh, gotta go, sweetheart. I love you.” He hung up the phone and ran for Toby, who was hightailing it down the hallway.

“Drake and Grace, sittin’ in a tree, f-u-c-k-i-n-g!”

“I’m gonna kill you, asshole!” Drake promised him, and Toby laughed harder.

“Gotta catch me first!”

“You sleep sometime!” Drake yelled, and Toby burst through the door going out to the limo. His eyes danced with mirth, and he stuck his tongue out at Drake.

“Love ya, brother!”

Drake narrowed his eyes and pasted a smile on his face, pretending he didn’t want to strangle the dorky grin off Toby’s face while the fans watched. As they entered the limo, he grabbed him around the neck and rubbed his knuckles on top of Toby’s head. The car rolled away, and he continued his assault.

“Ow! Ow! Uncle, uncle, uncle!” Toby yelled. “Bastard, I forgot you have knuckles from hell!” He rubbed at the top of his head with a pout.

“Don’t mess with Grace, dammit.”

“Noted. Jesus Christ, I might want to use my brain one day,” Toby whined.

“Why? It’s not like you’ve ever used it before today. Twenty-nine years wasted. What’s the rest of your life?” Drake quipped, still very pissed with Toby for messing with her.

“Ouch, dude! Shit, okay, I’ll never mess with her again. Sorry,” he muttered sheepishly.

“Okay. I’m sorry too. You have your moments of intelligence. You did save our career,” Drake admitted.

“Okay, so we’re cool?” Toby asked hopefully.

“We’re fine.” Drake reassured him.

“Well, shit just got tense.” Jordan laughed nervously. “We know not to mess with your girl.”

“Damn right,” Drake snapped. “She’s off limits.”

“Noted.” Toby smirked, rubbing his head.

Chapter Seventeen

As Grace arrived at the hospital, she ignored the paparazzi. Her guard kept her safe as she made it inside. Hurrying to the NICU, she found something that surprised her. Cain was no longer on the ventilator, and he was awake. “Dad! Why didn’t you call me?”

“You needed sleep. I dozed off in the chair. When I woke up, he had a grip on the tube and yanked it out before I could stop him. The doctors came and put that nose thingie on him and said we could try bringing him fully out of sedation. So they did, and well, here we are! Surprise!” Damien grinned sheepishly and patted her shoulder.

“He’s doing okay off the ventilator?” Grace asked, her heart pounding in her chest.

“He’s lying there looking at you, isn’t he?” Damien retorted.

Grace reached into the bed, and Cain grasped her hand. “Oh, sweetheart,” she murmured, her eyes filling with tears. “I want to talk to the doctor.”

“Let me get the nurse. I bet she can call him.”

Grace nodded slowly, unable to form coherent sentences. She just stared down at her little boy. It had been two weeks since she’d seen his crystalline blue eyes and his sweet smile. “Oh, Cain. What am I going to do with you? Pulling your own tube out? You couldn’t be patient?”

A giggle escaped her lips as he smiled right then, as though he knew exactly what she was saying. She stared at him closer and carefully moved his lower lip. His first tooth was coming in, right on the bottom gum. “Well, look at that! You’re growing up on me too. I can’t even go home and get some sleep without you doing all kinds of fun stuff.”

“Grace?” She turned and smiled at the doctor and her father.

“He is doing okay?” she pleaded, her heart thundering in her chest with panic.

“He’s doing amazing. He pulled out the tube on his own and is doing great with just his nasal cannula. I have a feeling he can go home soon too. It won’t be long now. When he’s done with his antibiotics, I’ll be ready to let him go. Just another couple of days. He’s got no fluid on his lungs, nothing. I think it was wise that we waited as long as we did. We’ve had some very tiny preemies go through hell after their PDA surgeries. Infection, more surgery, et cetera. He did have the diaphragm seize up on him, and that’s fairly common. When he pulled the tube out, we did notice that his cries were very weak. His vocal cords are most likely damaged. We’ll want to see how he’s eating before we let him go. I’m thinking he may require his liquids to be thickened for a while, and you’ll be adding an ear, nose, and throat specialist to your repertoire of doctors for this remarkable young man. I’d like to see how he does this evening with a bottle,” he explained.

“We can give it a shot. Will his voice get better?” Grace asked.

“It should. It will take some time, though. He’s doing amazing.”

“Can I hold him?” Grace pleaded.

“Absolutely. Sit down, and I’ll get him for you.”

Grace rushed to sit in the chair beside his bed, and as the doctor lifted him, she held out her arms for her son. His weight was familiar and comforting as she sat back in the chair. “I wish we had a rocker in here.”

“You know, we do have some in the feeding room. I’ll get you one.” He disappeared and came back quickly, carefully carrying a wooden rocker. Grace stood, and Damien helped to switch out the chairs for them.

“Cain loves to be rocked,” she explained as she stared down at her little boy and pushed his hair back.

“Then rock him to your heart’s content. I’ll be back to check on him tonight.”

Grace smiled down at Cain, who reached up with a hand for her. She kissed his palm and whispered, “You’re amazing.”

The soft click of a camera made her freeze and she glanced up in horror, only to see Damien taking a picture of them. “Sorry, the moment was perfect,” he murmured apologetically.

Grace chuckled weakly. “I thought a paparazzo had snuck in.” She looked at the picture Damien had taken and smiled. “Send that to my phone, and we can send it to Drake.”

“Things are doing okay with you two?” Damien asked casually as he sat in the chair next to her and fiddled with his phone.

“Things are going well. He’s back on tour with the band. He’ll be back.” Grace rocked the peacefully snoozing baby slowly.

“Good. Where do you think you two are going to end up?”

“I don’t know. I like his doctors here, and I love living with you,” Grace admitted. “It would be very hard for me to consider moving.”

“Well, you guys can cross that bridge when you come to it.” Damien patted her leg gently. “And now, this Grandpa is off to get himself some sleep. It’s been quite a night. I wonder if that boy knew you were gone and decided to raise hell. We’re going to have to watch him when he gets a bit bigger, I can already tell he’s going to be a little terror.” He bent, and Grace smiled as he kissed her on the cheek and then kissed Cain’s forehead.

“We’ll deal with it when it comes. I hope he can eat.”

“Ah, you’ll regret wishing for him to eat when he’s a teenager.” Damien chuckled. “Boys are never full.”

“I’ll be grateful for it. Because he made it.” Grace insisted. “See you later, Dad, I love you.”

Grace shifted in her seat and slipped her phone out of her pocket. She smiled at the picture of her and Cain and sent it to Drake’s phone with a text.

G: We miss you. Guess who pulled his tube out?

D: Is he okay?

G: Yeah, he’s breathing on regular oxygen. We’re going to try feeding him later.

D: That’s awesome. I’m exhausted, babe, I gotta catch some sleep, we fly out in five hours.

G: I love you. Safe travels.

D: I love you both.

Grace pressed her phone to her chest and pretended she was hugging Drake instead. One of these days we’ll be together and make it work out. She rocked her boy and counted her blessings, one at a time. Christina made this possible. Would we have had a second chance? Probably not without her meddling in things. I would love to know how she got an e-mail to him in the first place on the day she died. I guess that’s probably one of life’s little mysteries we’ll never know.

She pressed a kiss to Cain’s feather soft cheek and tears filled her eyes as she continued to think. I’d give anything to have you here with me now, Christina. It’s not fair that I have all this and not you. If it was your plan for Drake and me to make a family for Cain, I promise you I will. He will be happy and loved.

A few hours later, a nurse came into the room with a bottle. “We’re going to try and get him to eat. Let’s see how he does with regular formula and a slow flow nipple. If he has some issues, we’ll thicken the formula. Let’s cross our fingers.”

Grace took the bottle from her, and Cain’s eyes lit up as he saw the bottle. Having a feeding tube for a couple weeks hadn’t been fun. Luckily, he hadn’t forgotten what a bottle was all about. He grasped the bottle with greedy hands and helped her hold it. She chuckled and eased the bottle back, making him slow down a little. “I know, it’s been a while, but you don’t have to be a piglet.”

The nurse hovered over them, her keen eyes watching the monitors. “I think he’s doing okay.”

Grace pulled the bottle from him again and frowned as his face crumpled and he began to cry, a soft, dinosaur growly rasp. “Oh, don’t cry, piglet. Here, here. Shh…” She gave him back the bottle and rocked him slowly. His blue eyes became unfocused and his suckling slower and slower as he dozed. “His cry is funny sounding.”

“It will be for a little while. It’s a good sign that he’s able to drink from a bottle. His heart rate hasn’t dipped, and his oxygen is steady. I’m going to let the doctor know. We may be able to pull his feeding tube too.” She smiled excitedly and left the room.

Grace stared down at the dozing baby. “Well, aren’t you just making leaps and bounds?”

Over the next two days they continued feeding him with a bottle, and on the evening of the second day, Cain’s feeding tube was removed from his nose. There was much rejoicing, not that Cain had any idea why everyone was so excited.

Grace snapped a picture of Cain without the little tube running into his nose and sent it to Drake.

G: Lookit! Someone lost their feeding tube!

D: I’m so proud! Is it stupid I’m sitting here showing the guys and acting like he just won a Nobel Peace Prize?

Grace chuckled and typed back.

G: No, I think it’s great.

The doctor told her that Cain could go home in three more days, as long as he continued to eat well and showed no signs of infection. She counted the hours, the minutes, the seconds, watching and waiting. Cain improved with each day that passed, becoming more active, more vocal, and stronger.

“I think he’s ready to be discharged,” Dr. Carter informed her after he checked him over again. “His incision is healed, he’s breathing well, and there are no signs of infection.”

Grace sucked in a breath and covered her mouth in glee. “Yes!”

“I know it’s been a long time. He was in the hospital so long after he was born and now after this surgery. Hopefully this is the last time for a little while.” He patted her shoulder and smiled down at Cain. “I’ll have you out of here within the hour,” he promised as he left the room.

Grace swept Cain into her arms and kissed his face. “We’re going home, baby!” She pulled her phone from her pocket and called Damien. “Dad! They’re discharging us, within the hour!”

“Grace, honey, that’s fantastic. I’ll be there.”

“Okay, please bring his portable oxygen and some clothes,” Grace reminded him, worrying he’d forget the basic things they needed.

“Grace, stop worrying. I won’t forget.” He laughed softly, and Grace felt herself relax.

“I’m trying.”

After she hung up with her father, she called Drake, hoping she wouldn’t wake him.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he answered breathlessly.

“Did I call at a bad time?” She chewed at her thumbnail.

“No. We just finished a set. Is everything okay?”

“Everything is amazing. Cain is going home within the hour,” Grace explained.

“That’s incredible.”

“I’ll let you go. I need to fill out some papers and get him ready to go. I’ll let you know when we make it home,” Grace offered.

“Please do. We’re finishing up here in London, and tomorrow we’re flying back to the U.S. I’ll be closer and we can get together soon. I can’t wait to see you both. I love you.”

“I love you. Bye!” Grace hung up and busied herself keeping Cain occupied.

Soon she had paperwork discharging them from the hospital, and she was waiting on her dad to show up with everything so they could go. He arrived a few moments later with oxygen, a car seat, and clothes in hand.

“The damn paps are outside still. They’ve just about lost their minds seeing me come in,” Damien grumbled.

“I’m not worried about them. I want to get Cain home.” Grace took the clothes from him and dressed Cain in the pale blue long sleeved onesie, brown pants, and soft socks. They connected him to his portable oxygen and slipped him into his car seat.

“Let me carry him, Grace.” Damien nudged her out of the way and hefted the car seat in his hand.

“I’ll drape his hospital blanket over the top when we get closer to the door. I don’t want them taking pictures of him.”

“Okay.” As they left the NICU, the two nurses at the desk cheered for them.

“We’re so glad he can go home!”

“Us too.” Grace grinned. “Thank you for taking care of him.”

“Absolutely, he was a joy. Such a sweet boy. Take care.”

“You too!” Grace waved as they hurried down the hall to the elevator. She felt giddy, excitement bubbling through her veins. She couldn’t wait to get Cain home and reintroduce him to their home and some sort of normalcy.

She draped the pale pink blanket over his car seat as they moved to the doors. The two guards flanked them, and she readied herself for the annoying flash of cameras. They swarmed them as they hurried for the car.

“Grace! How are you and the baby dealing with Drake being gone? Is he okay? Is he mentally retarded?”

Grace seethed as she climbed in the car. “Fucking leeches,” she mumbled, helping Damien snap him into the car seat base. The guards kept the paparazzi back until they could all load into the vehicle. Finally, with a final glance back at the hospital they’d lived at for almost a month, Grace bid it goodbye. Gazing into her son’s brilliant blue eyes, she knew she was walking into the future, and it looked bright.

Chapter Eighteen

“I can come to Phoenix for Valentine’s Day,” Drake offered. “Would you want to get together?”

Grace grinned and leaned against the doorjamb going into Cain’s nursery. “I’d love to get together.”

“Ah, I was thinking about getting a hotel room.”

She blushed hot at the thoughts racing through her mind. “Oh?”

“I was wondering if I could take you away…just for a night? I mean, if you think Cain would be okay with your dad. If not, then we can wait.”

Grace smiled at Drake’s thoughtfulness. “I don’t think I’m ready to leave him just yet. I’ve heard whispers that Dad has met someone. Maybe I can convince him to leave the house for the night.”

“He told me no sex in the house.”

Grace giggled then. “Drake, be serious, I’m a grown woman.”

“And he can put me six feet under,” Drake insisted.

“Then we won’t have sex. It will be like you’re back teaching at Yale and I’m your student again,” Grace suggested.

“We all know how well that worked out,” Drake groaned. “Sure we’ll give it our best shot. I’ll see you in a few days. I love you.”

“I can’t wait.”

Grace peeked in on Cain, who was still happily napping, and she rushed downstairs to her father’s office. Damien sat sipping his favorite scotch and reading a script.

“Dad?”

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s up?” He put down the script and smiled warmly at her.

“I need a favor. Well, two.”

“Anything, you know that. Do you need something for Cain? For yourself?” Damien prompted.

“I need to go shopping. By myself. And I-uh, need you to vacate the premises Valentine’s Day.” Grace blushed hot.

“I see. Would there be a certain young man flying in?” He sipped his scotch nonchalantly.

“Yes, and I really want to spend some time alone with him,” Grace pleaded.

“I told him no sex in this house,” Damien warned her.

“I know…and there won’t be.” She thought back to the conversation they’d had about what constituted sex at Yale.

“Mmhmm. I have a feeling I’ll be a grandpa for the second time by the end of the year.” Damien chuckled and shook his finger at her in warning.

“No, no babies from me for a long time. Cain is enough. I just want to spend time with him. Please? Plus, I heard you’ve met someone, so it’s a prime opportunity for you to get out of the house…” Grace trailed off nervously.

“Oh, you have, have you? Well, yes, if you must know, I met a really nice lady at the grocery store. She’s something else, and yeah, I could probably visit her for Valentine’s Day.” Damien laughed and finished his scotch. “Well, you better get going. Cain will be up before long, and he’s going to want Mama, not Grandpa.”

Grace rushed forward and kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

“I know you do. I love you too, and I love seeing you happy. I haven’t seen this much light in your eyes ever. It does this old man’s heart good to see you in love.” Damien patted her cheek and pointed at the door. “Now go on.”

Grace rushed out of the house, barely pausing to slip on shoes and grab her purse and keys. She loaded up in her car and opened the gates, ignoring the lone paparazzo that still hung around the gates. She and Drake had become old news, and he seemed listless as he lazily snapped a picture as she left.

It felt good to be out and about, and she hurried to the mall, knowing there was only one place that she could find what she was looking for. Pulling into the parking lot, she shut off the ignition and exited the car before rushing across the parking lot and into the mall. Meandering through the huge building, she came to the plus sized boutique and ambled inside.

The lingerie section would have exactly what she was looking for. The store was decked out for Valentine’s Day, and they offered a sale on lingerie, forty percent off. She delved into the racks, coming up with a lacy, black and red teddy and matching panty set. Glancing in the full length mirror by the fitting rooms, she held it up to her body and grinned. Oh yeah, Drake Stone, I’m going to make you want me.

She paid for her purchase and hurried along to the toy store to pick up something for her favorite little boy. Taking the time to browse, she finally decided on a ball that vibrated, flickered different colors and sang songs. Cain would love it. She checked out and rushed out of the mall and made the drive back home.

She could barely wait to see Drake again. They’d been texting back and forth furiously, sending flirty messages and naughty pictures. Grace wanted him, desperately. She wanted to feel his mouth pressed against hers and have his body tangled in her sheets. It was becoming unbearable. Now that the fear of something happening to Cain had passed, the only thing on her mind was seeing Drake again.

Her dreams at night were filled with his kisses and the first time they’d made love, so very long ago. She’d been a virginal innocent then, and truthfully now she wasn’t much better. Unbeknownst to everyone, she’d been sneaking the pornos her father had directed out of his office and watching them since she’d gotten back home with Cain.

She knew the characters on film weren’t turned on, and the movies didn’t necessarily make her hot and bothered. They gave her ideas. Ideas of things to do to Drake that would hopefully rock his world.

This time would be different, she was certain of it.

Valentine’s Day came, and she could barely keep it together. Drake would be flying into Phoenix in the afternoon and catching a cab to the house. She had orchestrated everything perfectly and planned everything out. That is, except for her stubborn father being a fly in the ointment. Damien seemed perfectly happy to laze about and read the newspaper.

“Dad, don’t you have somewhere to be?” Grace sighed for the fifth time in an hour.

He glanced up from the paper and grinned toothily. “Why? Got a hot date?”

“Oh my God, you know I do!” Grace wailed. “Please don’t do this. I feel like I’m sixteen.”

“If you were sixteen he wouldn’t be in the house…That’s neither here nor there. I know you’re all grown up, and yes, I’ll stop teasing you and get out of the house.” Damien folded his paper and patted her shoulder. “Be good.”

“I will…” Grace promised, a sneaky smile crossing her lips. “I’ll be very good,” she mumbled to herself. Cain squawked for her attention, and she knelt to play with him. “Are you excited to see Drake too?”

Her stomach was in knots, and she could barely keep it together as she took Cain into the kitchen and started working on their dinner. Cain was too happy to sit in his high chair and squawk at his rattling plastic keys.

She took a slow breath and pulled steaks from the refrigerator. She put together a simple rosemary balsamic marinade for them, then set them aside. Next, she readied a pot of boiling water for potatoes and chopped vegetables for a salad. As the doorbell rang, she jumped and the knife nicked her finger. “Dammit!” she murmured, grabbing a paper towel to stem the flow of blood.

You’re a wreck! He’s going to think you’re a horny, immature little girl! She admonished herself. Smoothing her hair as best she could with a bloody, wrapped up finger, she opened the door and her throat closed up seeing him there. He held a humongous bouquet of roses in his hand and a teddy bear.

“Hi,” Drake started. “You gonna let me in?”

“Yeah!” Grace stammered, stepping back. “I nicked my finger,” she mumbled stupidly and blushed at her foolish idiosyncrasies.

“Are you okay?” Drake walked inside and closed the door behind himself.

“Yep!” Grace yelped louder than she meant to. “Can you go in the kitchen and keep an eye on Cain? I’ll be back…” She ran for the stairs and hustled into the bathroom. Closing the door, she leaned against it and groaned. Oh my God.

Unwrapping her finger, she surveyed the damage. She only nicked it a bit and the blood was already clotting. Thankful she hadn’t severed the digit, she wrapped it in a bandage and checked her reflection in the mirror. The girl staring back at her looked wide-eyed, pink cheeked and beautiful. She didn’t know her, but she recognized her from a very long time ago. Fluffing her hair, she steadied her breathing and left the bathroom.

Sashaying down the staircase, she paused for a moment at the bottom and tried to mimic a walk a porn star had effortlessly done in a film. Her hips had rippled and rolled beautifully, like the waves of the ocean. It had been incredibly beautiful and sensual. Grace realized at that moment she should’ve practiced the walk, because she found she looked less sexy and more dying water buffalo. It wasn’t the look. She abandoned the awkward walk and hurried to the kitchen where she found Drake sitting in front of Cain and playing peek-a-boo.

If she’d had any miniscule doubts about Drake, they disappeared in the moment his hands came away from his face and he grinned at the laughing baby. She fell completely for him at that exact moment, and she knew then that everything fluttering through her blood stream and making her crazy was far more than a severe case of lust. No, it was love.

“You okay?” he asked, jolting her from her love colored haze.

“I’m great. No fingers in the salad this time.”

“Can I have a hug?” He stood from the chair and came to stand in front of her, and she lost the ability to breathe again. So instead of answering him, she nodded.

As his arms came around her, she bit her bottom lip and tipped her face up to his. There, in the middle of the kitchen, he kissed her, and she felt her knees go weak. She gripped his shoulders and kissed back. Their moment was interrupted by the pot on the stove hissing and water spitting out on the stove. Grace stepped back and pressed the back of her hand to her mouth, and Drake turned the stove down.

“Whatcha making?” he asked, as though kissing like that was completely commonplace and it didn’t affect him one little bit.

“I-uh, steaks and potatoes and salad,” Grace finally choked out.

“Perfect. And for the littlest man in the house?” Drake glanced over his shoulder at the baby.

“Ah, that would be formula.”

“Can I feed him?” Drake asked hopefully.

“Sure, if you want to,” Grace replied.

“I do.”

Chapter Nineteen

Drake watched Grace carefully while they ate. She was nervous, that much was obvious with the way her hands shook as she picked up her glass and how the fork clattered on the plate as she placed it beside her potatoes. He was nervous too, and he hoped it didn’t show. Being on tour and singing in front of thousands of screaming fans sort of fixed the nervous thing.

She’d put his roses in a vase on the table, and he stop smirking as he noticed her ducking behind the fragrant blossoms to avoid his gaze. Ah, sweet Grace… Her gawky innocence was completely captivating. “Can I ask you something?” he finally asked after twenty minutes of silence.

“Sure,” she responded, still hiding behind the flowers.

“Was there anyone else?” He fought the urge to kick himself under the table at the jealous tone creeping into his voice.

“No. I never had time. I couldn’t forget you,” she murmured, her cheeks rivaling the scarlet of the blossoms.

“I already told you there wasn’t for me either.” He took a bite of steak to keep from sticking his foot in his mouth again.

Cain babbled in the high chair beside him, and he turned his attention to the little tyke. He looked so much better now than he had in the hospital. Tickling the bottom of the baby’s foot, he grinned as Cain laughed.

“You’re good with him,” Grace remarked, and he turned back to her.

“I love kids. I have two younger brothers. Riley is well, he’s your age, nineteen, and Connor is sixteen. My parents have groomed Riley into a perfect gentleman. He’s off to Harvard, and he’s going to be a doctor. Connor is coming up the ranks, and I think he’s going to be a hellion like me. Last I talked to Mom, he was dabbling in music. She still thinks I’ve ruined my life.” Drake laughed softly.

“I didn’t know you had brothers,” Grace murmured.

“I want you to meet my family,” he said suddenly, wondering how those words had come out of his throat. It wasn’t the plan. Not yet.

“Maybe,” Grace murmured.

“Sorry. This is moving fast, isn’t it?” Drake choked out, hating how dumb he sounded.

“A little. I don’t know if I’m ready for marriage,” Grace informed him, and Drake nodded.

“Oh, me neither! Marriage? That’s just not in the cards for me right now.” Sadness filled the pit of his stomach, and he took another bite of his food. I sort of assumed we were going to get together and be a couple. Maybe move in together? One day get engaged and married? Is this not what she wants? Is this just casual?

“I’m glad you agree,” Grace continued. “I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment. I mean, I have Cain, and it’s just a lot.”

“Of course. So we’ll just date?” Drake offered.

“Dating sounds good. Get together when you’re in the states, maybe um…hook up and yeah. Just date,” Grace murmured, her cheeks coloring again.

“Hooking up is okay. I just...well. The only thing I want to know is if you’re planning on us being exclusive?” He self-consciously gripped the edge of the table as he awaited her answer. Please say yes, please, please…

“Yeah, absolutely,” Grace firmly replied. “We’re exclusively dating. Oh my God. I’m exclusively dating Drake Stone.” She chuckled. “How much do you want to bet that the magazines would love that exclusive story? Not that I would give it to them. They’ve finally stopped tailing me everywhere.”

Drake grinned and reached across the table, snagging her hand in his. “We’re exclusively dating.” He stroked his thumb across her knuckles, and she withdrew her hand quickly.

“I like that. It’s got some strings but not too many.” She turned her attention back to her plate, apparently shoving as much food in her mouth as possible to keep from talking.

Drake was slightly let down, he’d assumed things would be different. “So, you’re going to stay here?”

She chewed her food and swallowed. “Yeah, I need to. Cain’s doctors are here. I’m not looking forward to moving again. The move from Connecticut to here was rough. Cain isn’t healthy enough for traveling a lot, at least not now. One day, who knows?”

His heart leapt in his chest at the insinuated promise of a future. “Okay. I can live with that. I’m just letting you know, I’m in love with you and Cain, and I want things to work out.”

“We’re in love with you too. And I’m not saying things won’t work out. I’m just saying I want to take things slow. I don’t want to jump into marriage and uprooting our lives. Not today, or tomorrow. I need you to be patient with me. Change is hard for me, and I’ve gone through a lot of changes in the last year. I need normalcy,” Grace explained.

“Of course. I’m happy with this.”

“Me too.” She smiled and his heart thumped in a funny way in his chest. She truly was beautiful.

They finished dinner, chatting amicably about everything from music to books. They found they both loved Chopin and couldn’t really stand Taylor Swift. Drake was fascinated to hear that she loved to read, and that her favorite book was the Scarlet Letter. He’d read the book several times in the early days of their relationship. He had constantly reminded himself that she was off limits and why. It just intrigued him that she liked it too.

Now, though, there were no limits, just the ones Grace was imposing on them. He didn’t know if she was just scared of the commitment, or what. Perhaps it was that she had been a virgin the first time they’d been together.

It was disheartening, because he was looking at things like he was coming home to a family. I still am, she’s not saying never, she’s just saying not right now. I can wait on her. I’ve waited this long, right?

“Do you want some dessert?” she asked, and he smiled, pulling himself out of the worrying thoughts.

“I do! What do you have?” He waggled his eyebrows and his smile widened as she blushed.

“Cherry cheesecake.”

“Delicious.”

He took the plate from her and dipped his finger into the glistening red topping of the pie. Popping the gel in his mouth, he groaned and licked his finger clean. Her dark eyes went wide and her breath came fast. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve bet that she was aroused. And tonight, he felt like being a betting type of man.

“When does Cain eat?” he asked as he sat back at the table.

“I’ll give him a bath after our dinner, then a bottle, a book and bed.” Grace sat down across from him and tucked into her dessert.

“I’ll help. Then do you want to watch a movie or something?” He offered, figuring a movie would be something safe to keep his hands off her. He’d promised Damien he wouldn’t have sex with Grace in the house. Here they were on the most romantic day of the year, with no one else here but them. He knew that things would happen, and he was going to try very hard to keep it under control. He hated to leave her after loving her again. Shows were coming up, and it would have to be done.

“Sure, a movie would be good!” Her voice came out high and shrill, and she blushed again. What’s this all about?

He ate his dessert and helped her clear the table. There was an uncomfortable, pregnant silence between them as they loaded the dishwasher. He needed to break the tension, and so he slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her in close. Her eyes flicked to his, and he watched as they went wide and warm.

Bending his head, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips and a thrill coursed through him at her soft moan of pleasure. He deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping into her mouth and tasting their shared dessert. Drake wanted more than anything to make sure that she knew he cared, that he wanted her, in more ways than one, and if it took hundreds of times worshiping her body to make her see that, then he was up to the challenge.

Breaking the kiss, he smiled down at her flushed face. “Hi.”

“Hey,” she breathed, her teeth worrying at her bottom lip. He fought the urge to pull her back into his arms and kiss her again. Instead he let her go. The flames of desire were building, and soon they would be all consuming. He wanted to let them consume them both and burn through the fear of the future. Maybe playing with fire wouldn’t get them both burned. There was only one way to find out.

Chapter Twenty

Grace was running scared. It was one thing to flirt and think about having sex with Drake Stone. By God it was another to actually do it again. The first time had been amazing. Beyond amazing, but they’d both known it was that one time only. Now things were serious enough to consider sex again. Would it be any good or was it just that one time when they put their all into it, knowing it was the only time. She was terrified to let him in that far. Because letting him that far meant no going back.

Would the magic be there or would it just fizzle into nothingness? What if she messed something up? Farted, bit his dick by accident, or something? What if he found her disgusting in her lingerie and walked out? True, she had gained about twenty pounds. It was all stress induced eating.

His kisses were affecting her, and she worried about the state of her panties and if he could see the wetness through her jeans. As they finished in the kitchen, she picked up Cain, hoping somehow the baby could save her from being touched by him again. “I’m going to bathe him,” she squeaked.

“Want some help?”

“Ah, no. You could make him a bottle. The directions are on the canister, he likes an eight-ounce bottle. Just mix it with cold water and put it in his bottle warmer.” She backed out of the kitchen slowly as she explained.

“Sure, I’ll meet you in his nursery then.”

“Perfect.” Grace fled then, needing some space. He smelled incredible, and the way his dark blue shirt stretched over his perfectly sculpted body left her breathless. “Cain, what have I gotten myself into?” she whispered to the baby, who giggled. “Don’t laugh at me! I’m a mess!”

She ran his bath and placed him in his little tub. Her fingertips traced over his incision scars and tears prickled at her lashes. You’ve come so far! She knew instinctively that Drake was hurt at her putting the brakes on things, and she couldn’t help it. He had that look in his eyes like he saw forever, and she could only see small chunks of the future. Cain’s health was the most important, and he could only be around if he understood that.

You’re scared. Her brain informed her, and she sighed as she washed the baby. I am, I’m letting him in my life, so Dad can’t say I’m not. I’m letting myself love him. She argued with herself. True, you are, but you’re not loving him completely. You say that you have fallen for him, let’s be real, you’re more like the scaredy cat who is repelling down the side of the mountain. You’re stuck about midway down. One of these days you’re gonna get real tired of hanging up there swinging like a pendulum, and you’ll have to either climb back up to the top or free-fall into nothing and hope he’s there to catch you at the very bottom. She groaned, thinking of what she’d written in her diary, saying she wasn’t afraid to fall. Honestly, she was. She was terrified. It was easy enough to say when the man in question wasn’t standing in front of her looking like Adonis wrapped in fabric. When he was there, the doubts and fears snuck in.

Finishing the baby’s bath, she pulled him from the tub and dried him off. “At least I know you’ll always love me,” she murmured.

Meandering into the nursery, she jumped as she saw Drake sitting in her rocker. “Hey.” He smiled.

“Oh, you figured out the bottle thing?” she squeaked, laying Cain on his changing table and grabbing a diaper before he rained all over their parade.

“Yeah, I can do that thing called reading real good,” he joked, and she found herself smiling. Cain was soon diapered and in his very adorable fox print pajamas.

“Are you sure you want to feed him?” Grace stammered, picking up the baby.

“Tell me what I need to do.” Drake held out his hands for Cain, and Grace bit her bottom lip as she passed the baby over.

“I found that keeping him propped up helps. His bottles have a slow flow nipple in them, so he can’t drink too fast. If he starts sucking too hard, just pull the bottle out and let him catch his breath.” Grace explained, mommy worry running through her as she watched Drake slip the bottle into Cain’s mouth.

“This is nice,” Drake murmured.

“Yeah, I really like our bedtime routine,” Grace replied, wiping her sweating palms on her pants.

“No, I mean being here with you. It’s nice,” Drake explained.

“Ah, yes, it’s nice having you here too,” Grace squeaked nervously.

“He’s hungry.” Drake chuckled, pulling the bottle from Cain’s mouth. Cain squawked in irritation, and he slipped it back in.

“Yeah, he likes his bottles. I’m hoping in the next few months to start him on some solid foods.” Grace leaned against the edge of the crib and watched the two boys in the rocker. Her heart thumped in her chest. I could easily get used to you being here.

As Cain finished his bottle, she took the baby from him and eased him to her shoulder where she gently patted his back until he burped. “I want to sit so I can read to him. Do you mind going downstairs? I’ll be down in a little while. He’s getting better about going to sleep after a book.”

Drake stood from the rocking chair and bent to press a kiss to Cain’s head. “Night, little man.” He paused and stroked her cheek. “See you in a bit.”

Grace felt herself involuntarily clench. Oh, damn you. “See you in a bit,” she choked out.

Clicking off the nursery light, she pulled Cain’s favorite book from the bookshelf. It was a silly story about a little boy who imagined elves were stealing cereal from shelves by author C.A. Tull. He especially loved SuperCow in the story. That was his favorite. The little light by the chair was turned on, bathing them in a pale, soft glow. She rocked the baby slowly and read to him. Within minutes, he was dozing in her arms, and she eased him into the crib, carefully fitting his cannula in his nose and around his ears. Turning on the baby monitor, she slipped from the room and into her own.

It was time to plan the seduction of Drake Stone. She was determined to make it amazing for the both of them, and hopefully it would be. She tiptoed into her bathroom and knew she had mere minutes to make things happen. She’d shaved her legs earlier in the day and as she shimmied out of her jeans she was grateful to find they were still satiny smooth.

Stress sweat had left her armpits less than floral fresh, and she hurried to finish undressing and put on deodorant. She stood there naked in the bathroom, examining her body with a frown. Her muffin top was overflowing a bit and her butt was covered in dimples. Drake has seen all this before and he wanted you then. Stop beating yourself up! You’re big and beautiful, Grace told herself in the mirror.

She grasped the bottle of mouthwash and took a swig. Swishing it between her teeth, she hurried to her bedroom and found her lingerie. Moving back to the bathroom, she spit and dressed quickly, the stretchy lace fabric molding to her body. She brushed out her hair and swallowed nervously. This is it. I’m going to seduce Drake. She peeked into the nursery and smiled at her sleeping boy. Night, sweetheart.

Tiptoeing out her door, she took a slow breath and strutted down the stairs. Drake was ensconced on the couch, a remote in his hand as he flipped through the channels, and Grace knew he was paying no attention at all to her sneaky, ninja-like moves. Blowing out a breath, she came to the edge of the couch.

“So. Where are we going to do this? Because I plan on doing it. With you. Tonight,” she squeaked, praying hard that she sounded sexy.

Drake’s eyes swiveled to her and his mouth fell open. Grace panicked as she sat perfectly still for a moment. This was a mistake.

“You look… so…fucking sexy,” he breathed, his throat working as he swallowed.

“Really?” Grace croaked.

“Oh God, Grace. I told your dad I wouldn’t…you look so…oh shit, he’s going to kill me,” Drake babbled, running his hand through his hair.

“Dad knows what’s happening here tonight. I’m a grown woman, and I want you, Drake.” Grace tossed her head, her hair slipping down her back.

“Grace…” he groaned. “I can’t.”

“Why?” Grace felt her self-confidence shatter. She pulled a blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around herself, tears filling her eyes as embarrassment coursed through her.

“No, it’s not you. I promised him I wouldn’t have sex with you,” Drake jumped off the couch and stepped closer. “It’s not you.”

“Sure it’s not,” Grace snapped, pulling away from him.

“Look at me, Grace. I want you. My God, I’ve dreamed about this. I want you so badly. I promised him I wouldn’t have sex with you in the house.”

A smile touched Grace’s mouth, and she held up a finger. “Okay, what if it wasn’t technically in this house?”

“We can’t leave…Cain is upstairs…” Drake shook his head in frustration.

“No…what if it was in the basement? Dad used to film pornos down there, and I’m pretty sure there’s still some furniture and stuff down there. I can take the baby monitor, we’ll lock the doors, and we can have sex. It’s not technically in this house.” Grace grinned then, excitement bubbling through her.

“You’re devious, and I love it,” Drake hissed. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Grace giggled. “Let me grab one of the monitors.” She moved to a side table and picked up the receiver. “We can hear Cain.”

“Then we better lock the doors.” Drake’s voice seemed to be strangled and tight, and it thrilled Grace, knowing he was just as excited and nervous as she was. “Wait, what about condoms?”

Grace laughed. “I live in a porn director’s mansion. There’s always condoms.”

“I thought about bringing some… I promised your dad…”

“Shh…” Grace whispered. “Just stop talking.”

Chapter Twenty-One

She snuck into her father’s office and dug in his bottom drawer, feeling suddenly very much like a teenager sneaking around to have sex. Finding the large box of condoms, she palmed three of them, hoping that would be enough. Drake was waiting for her in the hallway, and she had to force herself to slow down instead of running for the door and pushing him up against the wall.

“So, uh, are we good then?” he asked, and Grace nodded, pointing toward a door in the hallway.

“In here.” She opened the door and gestured for him to go down. “There’s a switch on the wall.”

“Okay.” She watched as Drake hurried down the stairs and lit up the basement. “Holy shit!” She heard him murmur and a grin crossed her lips.

Closing the door behind herself, she walked down into the massive basement. Most people’s basements were either unfurnished, or made to look like family rooms. Oh, not this house. The basement was set up to look like the inside of another mansion. Furniture littered the space, covered in white sheets.

“This is ridiculous…” Drake murmured, still turning round and round in the middle of the floor.

“Yeah, this is what my dad does. I told you it wasn’t in the same house. See what I mean?” Grace moved to uncover a leather chaise lounge. “Put the monitor down, make sure it’s turned up.”

“I still feel a bit weird, Grace. I promised him I—” Grace put her finger across his lips.

“Drake, I’m a grown woman. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t feel a bit weird about it too. Technically this isn’t the same house. Cain is asleep, and if anything happens, we’ll hear him. I want you. You can’t tell me you came all the way to Phoenix to watch a movie with me, now did you?” He shook his head, and she smiled. “Then make love to me, Drake. Hey, you’re the one who has to leave in the morning, not me.”

She gasped as he pulled her into him and their bodies collided. A shock of pleasure flowed through her.

“Seeing you in this…” He fingered the thin strap of her lingerie. “Makes me crazy.”

“Oh?” she asked, her voice hitching slightly as his hand came to palm her ass. He kneaded her flesh, and she had to bite her bottom lip to keep from moaning.

“It’s so,” he whispered, his mouth against her ear. Her eyes fluttered closed as he nibbled on her earlobe, his tongue wet and hot on the delicate flesh. She moaned as his kisses descended to her neck, biting and suckling at her.

“Drake,” she gasped out, her hands gripping his shoulders. “Take your shirt off.”

He released her suddenly, and she staggered, trying to right herself. Her eyes were glued to his body as he unbuttoned his shirt slowly, one button at a time. The first button revealed a swath of his tanned, muscular chest. The second a hint of his pec. The third, a divot of skin above his belly button. The fourth, his incredible abs. The fifth, just below his belly button, and the last button, finally. He seemed to move in slow motion as he peeled the shirt off and her mouth went dry as his muscles rippled and flexed.

“Like what you see?” He chuckled, and she nodded dumbly, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. Instead of talking, she grasped his belt buckle firmly in one hand and unbuckled it. She refused to meet his eyes as she unbuttoned his pants and grasped the zipper, slowly easing it down. His very impressive manhood was encased in a snug pair of black underwear, and she licked her lips, nerves finally getting the best of her.

“Remember the first time we were together you wouldn’t let me do this?” She knelt in front of him and extracted his dick from inside his underwear. He was erect already, and his manhood jutted out at her.

“Grace…” he warned softly, but she paid no heed. She was already in deep, and she wanted to go all the way.

Her lips pressed gently against the tip of his dick, a feather-soft kiss that made him hiss. Opening her mouth, she wrapped it just around the head. The porn star in the movie had done exactly that. She wasn’t sure what to do with her tongue, so she swirled it around the head, licking it like he was her very favorite candy in the whole wide world. A firm, plum sized, Drake flavored lollipop.

Apparently, she was doing it right because he was moaning. Feeling emboldened, she grasped the base of his dick and took more of him into her mouth, gagging slightly as her lips met her fingers. She withdrew, then took him in again, licking and sucking his copious length. His hands came to her hair, and she winced slightly as he gripped it in his fist. Surprisingly, it turned her on as he began arching into her mouth and guiding her over his dick.

The throbbing between her legs became unbearable as she sucked him. Pulling back, she pressed a kiss to the tip of his dick and whispered, “How was that?”

He stared down at her with a hooded gaze and murmured, “Where the hell did you learn that?”

Grace stood and wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips a fraction of an inch from his. “I watched pornos.”

“Well, you learned a lot, apparently,” he whispered.

“I’m a good student,” she breathed.

“I can teach you,” he promised.

“Then stop talking about it. I’m tired of lectures, I want the hands on work,” Grace retorted, pressing her lips against his.

The kisses they’d shared in the kitchen had been nothing compared to this. Her nipples hardened to the point of painful against the roughness of his chest, and she longed to rub herself all over him to soothe the ache she felt. As if he knew exactly what she was feeling, his hand came between them to palm her breasts and pinch her nipples. She moaned into his mouth.

His fingers left her breast, and she moaned again, wanting him to return. Instead, his hands came to her shoulders, and he pulled the flimsy straps of her lingerie down until they hung around her elbows. Her breasts were bared to him, and he slid an arm around her and bent her back, supporting her weight on his forearm. Grace throbbed with desire, knowing she was bared to him. As his warm, wet mouth came around her nipple, she groaned loudly.

His tongue swirled around the tip of her nipple, then he sucked it into his mouth. Oh, God! I’m going to have to remember this for later… He moved from one breast to the other, sucking and nibbling at her until she couldn’t take it anymore.

“I need…” she started, and he pulled her up to standing.

“You need to take those panties off and lie back on the chaise,” he interrupted, and she shivered at the demand.

Turning her back to him, she peeled off her top slowly and tossed it behind her, not glancing to see where it landed. Her fingers came to the thin strings of her panties, and she hooked her thumbs in them, bending completely at the waist and going all the way to her toes to pull them off.

She squealed as he was suddenly behind her, the firm flesh of his dick against her ass. His fingers parted her lips, and she almost lost her balance as he swirled a dampened finger around her clit.

“Oh, God!” she sobbed out, her fingertips touching the floor for balance.

“Don’t tease me unless you want me to tease you,” Drake warned. His voice softened as he murmured, “My God, you’re wet.”

Grace bit her bottom lip as one finger slowly slid inside her. A loud moan escaped her lips as another entered her wet heat. “Yes…”

His fingers left her and slid between her lips to part them and swirl around her clit again. “Do you like it?”

“Yes!” she moaned. “Please!” He withdrew then, and she stood, pouting as she did so. “You stopped.”

“I told you to get on the chaise.” He pointed, and Grace shivered again. She clambered up on the leather chaise and lay back.

“Okay.”

“Spread your legs,” he whispered.

Her legs fell open, her ankles dangling off either edge of the chaise. “Okay…”

“Do you know how to make yourself come, Grace?” Grace jumped at the question and blushed.

“No.”

“Today you’re going to learn,” Drake murmured. “I want you to know how to please yourself while I’m gone. Because I’m going to call you, and you’re going to do it when we’re on the phone. Have you ever heard of phone sex?”

Grace blushed hot. “Yes,” she finally panted out.

“First, you’re going to part your lips.” She hurried to spread them with her hands. “Beautiful. So wet for me. Now I want you to take your finger and swirl it around your clit. Close your eyes and imagine it’s my tongue, Grace.”

She bit her bottom lip and felt herself blush hotter. The look in his eyes brooked no argument, and she closed her eyes and fumbled between her lips to find her clit. “Here?” she asked, her breath hitching as she rubbed around the hardened pearl.

“Right there. Imagine I’m licking you. Around and around that hard little clit. Are you getting wet, Grace?” he drawled.

Grace could barely think through the sensations flooding her. Her clit throbbed, aching as she circled it. “Yes,” she panted.

“Use two fingers and see if you like that,” Drake offered.

She followed his instruction, using two fingers to swirl around her clit. “Mmm, yes. I like that,” she choked out.

“Finger yourself. See how wet you are,” he insisted, and reluctantly she dipped one finger inside herself. “Both fingers, Grace,” he demanded then, and she obliged him, dipping into herself. “Now back to your clit.”

She took her wet fingers back to her throbbing clit and moaned loudly at the wet, hot slickness. “Yes…”

“Again,” he demanded, and she did so, dipping into herself and bringing up the wetness to her clit. Her moan came louder this time, and he murmured, “Do you want my tongue there, Grace?”

Her fingers worked her clit, and she used her other hand to dip two fingers into her wetness. The throb of desire became unbearable, and she fingered herself faster, her other hand rubbing hard on her clit now. “Oh!” she moaned.

“That’s right, Grace. Imagine my tongue is on your throbbing, aching clit and my fingers are deep inside you. I want you to come for me. Don’t stop until you can’t bear it anymore, then go a little further. Come for me, Grace.” She could barely hear him over the roar of desire in her ears. She rubbed even harder on her clit, and she lost the ability to breathe as a wave of ecstasy crashed over her head and took her under.

She went wild then, her fingers moving faster in her clenching heat. All she could see was Drake’s head between her thighs and feel his fingers inside her. “Yes!” she screamed out as she came.

“Perfect. That was lesson one,” Drake murmured.

Grace shivered in anticipation as she waited to learn lesson two.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Drake could barely control himself. Watching Grace pleasuring herself on the chaise was almost more than he could take. His breath caught with each inward stroke of her wetness, and he found a reason to exhale as she withdrew. As she came, he groaned, imagining for a moment he was inside her as her muscles clenched.

“Perfect. That was lesson one,” he murmured. Her dark eyes went wide and a smile haunted the corners of her lips. Her cheeks were flushed with color, and she was willing, wanting, needing lesson two.

“Stand up,” he demanded, enjoying how she scrambled off the chaise, her breath fast as she waited for his next order. “Put one knee on the chaise, both hands in front of you, bend over.”

She was trembling as she did so. Drake knew it wasn’t fear, at least, not in the traditional sense. She was aroused and curious about where the night would lead. He knew exactly where, and he was altogether too willing to lead her down the path. Pulling a condom from the table beside the chaise, he opened it with a flourish and rolled it slowly down his dick.

“Now, I’m going to make love to you, Grace. What I want you to do is touch yourself. Just like I showed you. Right on your sensitive, aching clit. You’re going to come again.” Drake palmed her fleshy ass cheeks as he spoke. Positioning himself, he slid the head of his dick down so it bumped her sensitized flesh, and he relished her audible gasp. “Put your fingers there now, Grace.”

Her fingers came to her clit, and her index finger brushed against the head of his dick. It was his turn to hiss now. “I’ll be gentle,” he murmured, easing slowly into her wet, hot heat.

Her moan echoed through the basement, and Drake fought for control as he eased into her, inch after slow inch. Finally, when he was buried to the hilt, he withdrew again, just as painstakingly slow. She arched into him, gasping, wanting him to move faster, and he smiled.

“Pleasure yourself, Grace.”

Her walls clenched around him as he entered her again, spasms rocking her core. She was already close to coming again, and he bit his bottom lip and threw his head back as she did. Her body milked him, begging for his own release, one he wasn’t ready for her to have yet. He withdrew completely until her orgasm passed, then in one swift motion, entered her again.

He couldn’t hold off any longer. “Don’t stop touching your clit,” he gritted out between clenched teeth. He took her then, hard and fast, her body jostled beneath him, and he gripped her hips, drilling deep into her body. It had been so long for him, and she felt so incredibly good. A keening moan bubbled in his throat, and he lost all concept of control as she clenched around him one last time. He exploded then, his fingers digging into her hips.

“Grace…”

“So,” she murmured breathlessly, taking him by surprise. “When’s lesson three?”

“Soon,” he promised her. “I’m not done with you yet.” Withdrawing from her heat, he rolled off the condom and carefully placed it back in the wrapper. “A whole house, and no trash can.”

“Next time,” she promised him, still bent over the couch, her full ass high in the air.

“Lie back on the chaise,” he ordered, and she hurried to flip over.

“Spread your legs.”

He knelt then and hooked her legs over his shoulders. He pressed a kiss to one thigh, then the other, trailing kisses closer and closer to the wet apex of her thighs. Kissing her mound, he licked between her lips and smiled at her moan when he flickered against her sensitive clit. Burying his face in her, he licked quick then slow, hard then soft, up then down, around and around until she was bucking her hips up to meet his mouth. Sliding a finger down, he dipped it inside her, first one, then two. Teasing back and forth, filling her with two, and tempting with one.

A small part of him worried about her piercing moans waking the baby, but he couldn’t stop. Her heat clenched around his fingers, and he sucked her clit then, his tongue fast on her nub until she shattered, her thighs quivering around him.

He nipped her thigh gently, soothing the spot with his tongue. “Lesson three, I believe you got full marks on…”

“Mmmm…” she murmured breathlessly. “Lesson four?”

“Insatiable…” He laughed, easing her legs off his shoulders. “One minute.” He turned and pulled another condom from the wrapper and slipped it on.

As he turned back, his dick jerked seeing Grace on the chaise with her legs parted wide and her mound glistening wet just for him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, catching her legs behind the knees and pulling them up over his shoulders again. His dick slipped into her, and she moaned again. Drake loved watching her as he made love to her. She bit her bottom lip, her cheeks flushed as she held her breath, and her breasts bounced. “Play with your nipples,” he demanded, and her hands came to cup her full breasts, her fingers toying with the taut peaks. “Mmm, yes,” he whispered.

He arched his hips, looking for the sweet spot high up. He knew the moment he found it, her eyes widened and her mouth made a perfect O, and no sound came out. He took her hard and fast, angling up perfectly to slide against her G-spot. When she caught her breath, she moaned and pinched her nipples harder.

“Come, Grace.” Drake knew she was close, her walls were clenching around him, tighter and tighter and when she came, he followed close behind. “Lesson four,” he whispered.

After he slipped off the condom, he crawled on the chaise with Grace and pulled her into his body. “I love you.”

She rubbed his forearm for a moment, then whispered, “I love you.” Her breathy little voice cracked slightly, and he kissed her shoulder.

“Don’t cry. I’ll be back soon,” Drake promised.

“I know,” she sniffled. “It just. It was good.”

“What? Sex?” Drake chuckled. “I’m glad.”

“Well, I worried it wouldn’t be as good as the first time,” Grace admitted.

“Was it?” Drake asked.

“Good? Yeah, it was more than good,” Grace assured him.

“Next time I’ll teach you lesson five, how about that?” Drake murmured as he kissed the nape of her neck. The vanilla coconut scent of her hair tortured him.

“Sounds good.” She yawned slightly. “I’m tired.”

“Let’s hide the evidence down here and go sleep,” Drake suggested. He needed to catch some shut eye before leaving early in the morning. His flight left at six, so he’d need to be at the airport by at least five. Their next gig was in New York City. Jacob’s Ladder would be playing on a late night comedian’s show, and they’d be at Times Square for a show.

He hated to let Grace get up, and after one more squeeze he released her.

“Back to reality,” she murmured, bitterness clouding her voice.

“Hey, what just happened was reality.” Drake touched her shoulder and pulled her back into his arms.

“I know, it’s not like you’re here all the time,” Grace muttered against his chest.

“We can have fun even while I’m gone. You’ll see,” Drake promised her and kissed her cheek.

They cleaned up in silence, draping a sheet back over the chaise and making sure everything was left as it should be. They dressed and headed upstairs to the first floor. Drake meandered into the kitchen and disposed of his condoms in a paper towel hidden in the trash.

“Want something to drink?” Grace offered, bending over to look in the refrigerator.

His dick jerked involuntarily, and he tried to think about anything else. “Yep, a soda would be fine,” he choked out, thinking about fluffy kittens and grandmas holding them.

Grace handed him a soda, and she motioned upstairs. “Let’s go.”

Drake followed her up, waiting outside the nursery as she peeked in on Cain. “Is he asleep?”

She nodded and entered her bedroom. Drake followed behind. “Get comfortable,” she motioned to the bed. “I’m going to be back.”

Drake stripped off his jeans and pulled his shirt back off, crawling into Grace’s bed in only his underwear. He could hear water running, and he assumed she was cleaning herself up. She returned a few minutes later wearing a nightshirt with a frog on the front. “Cute.” Drake patted the bed and smiled as Grace crawled in beside him.

“Want to watch TV?” she offered, her voice low so Cain wouldn’t wake up.

“Sure.” Drake sat up beside her, and she turned on the TV. She flipped through the channels and settled on a cooking show.

Neither of them said much of anything, and Drake hated the tension in the room. “Are you okay?” he finally asked.

“I’m fine,” Grace murmured as she sipped her drink.

“Talk to me.” Drake bumped her shoulder with his.

“I don’t know what to say. When you’re here with me like this, it feels like we could have a forever. Then you go and I get used to being alone. Then you’re back and I want you and I know Cain loves you. The stupid doubts linger around. I worry you might one day find someone prettier than me, without all the baggage I have.”

Drake put his soda on the nightstand and turned to her. “Look at me.” Finally her dark eyes met his. “I had plenty of opportunities to be with someone else before we got back together. It never happened. It’s not going to happen now. I’m going to stay loyal to you. Your baggage doesn’t bother me. I love Cain. And more beautiful than you? Have you looked in the mirror recently and seen what I see? When I look at you, I forget how to think. Hey, tell you what. Be right back. Stay right here.” He hopped off the bed and rushed downstairs. His guitar sat by the door in the case. He knew it was the perfect time.

Pulling the guitar up, he ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Grace still sat on the bed, palming her soda. “I want to sing to you.”

Her eyes flew wide. “Really?”

“I want to sing the song I wrote. I mean, I know you heard it in concert. I want to sing to you, just you.” Drake crawled up on the bed and strummed the tune. He stared deep into her eyes and sang. Her eyes lit up and went soft. He finished the song and smiled at her. “Did you like it?”

“It was perfect.” She placed her soda on the nightstand and crawled over, kissing him.

Drake caught his hand in her hair and kissed back. Desire pulsed between them again, and he fought to pull back. “We should sleep.”

Her arms came around him. “Thank you for my song. I’m going to check on Cain one last time.”

“Okay.” Drake put the guitar beside the bed and leaned back against the pillows. She came back with a smile on her lips.

“He’s sleeping so peacefully.” She crawled up beside him and lay on his chest. Drake wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

“I love you,” he murmured after a while. There was silence from Grace. Glancing down at the girl in his arms, he smiled seeing she was asleep. Easing her over on her pillow, he kissed her cheek again. “Ah, Grace…”

He checked the time and groaned as he realized it was nearly two in the morning. If he slept now he’d be miserable the rest of the day. Turning off her TV, he eased out of bed and pulled his clothes back on. Peeking in on the baby, he stroked the pale blond hair off the baby’s forehead. “See you soon, little man.”

Grabbing his guitar, he hurried downstairs and sat on the couch. His fingers toyed with the strings, and he had an idea. He got up and looked for a notepad. Finding one by the phone, he sat back on the couch and began to strum again, writing occasionally as he worked. Finally, Grace’s next song was done.

Drake finished the song with a smile and tore the sheet off the notepad, folding it and tucking it in his guitar case. His pen poised over the notepad, and he decided what to write.

Dear Grace,

I hated to leave you. You were sleeping peacefully and I didn’t want to wake you up. You need your rest. I’ll see you soon. Hey, I’d tune into Jerome Bryant’s late night show tonight at eleven. Do it for me, okay?

I love you.

Drake

He ripped off the note, tiptoed up the stairs, and put the note beside her. He knew that the song was pushing her, and he didn’t expect a yes. Not yet, anyway. He was hopeful. Holding his breath wasn’t wise, though. He just hoped that when she heard the song, she’d consider a future between them. Something a little more permanent than just exclusively dating.

As he moved back downstairs, he made a quick call to his driver, and he sat down to wait for him in the kitchen. Within twenty minutes, he was in the back of his limo and on his way to the airport.

As the sun rose, he climbed on the plane and he collapsed in his seat. Catching a nap on the way to New York sounded like a perfect plan.

See you later, Grace and Cain.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Grace rolled over in the bed and opened her eyes, fully expecting to see Drake curled up beside her. Disappointment filled her, and she rolled back, her face crunching on paper. Pulling the paper from beneath her cheek, she read it quickly. He was gone, and she wasn’t too sure how it made her feel. Checking the time on the clock, she frowned seeing that it was seven. His flight left at six, and she’d wanted to get up and send him off with a special farewell.

She sat up and stretched, pleasantly sore. A soft cry pierced the air, and she left the bed and hurried to Cain’s side. “Hey, sweetie.” He continued to sob through her changing his diaper and getting him dressed for the day. She cuddled him into her arms. “What’s the matter with my boy?”

Rushing downstairs, she readied a bottle for Cain and tried to console him. “Why are you so fussy, Cain?” All day he seemed miserable, not wanting to eat or be soothed. After five hours of sobbing, her phone rang. She picked it up without checking to see who it was. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” Drake said. “What in the world is going on? Is everything okay?”

“No, it’s been horrible today. Cain won’t stop crying,” Grace murmured tiredly.

“Put the phone on speaker.”

“What? Why?” Grace snapped.

“Just do it…” Drake sighed.

She poked the speaker on the phone and spoke over Cain’s wails, “There you go!”

“Hey, little man!” Drake called. “Listen little man!” He sang “The Wheels on the Bus,” and Grace stared in awe as Cain stopped crying immediately.

“Don’t stop singing!” she hissed.

Drake sang “Mary Had a Little Lamb” and “Ring Around the Rosie.” Cain giggled and cooed happily. As Drake stopped singing, Cain began screaming again, his little face turning red with his anger.

“Don’t stop singing!” Grace begged.

Drake chuckled and sang again, and within minutes, the screams stopped. He sang endlessly, silly songs that made no sense. “I’m running dry here!” he sang loudly. “Hey, Toby, come give me a hand, I need a song to keep little man happy.”

“Uh, hey,” Toby muttered, and Cain’s screaming started again. “Oh my God, what’s wrong with him?” Toby tried to sing, coming up with “Old McDonald Had a Farm”. Cain continued to scream. When Drake’s voice joined in the chorus, his screams abated.

“He wants you, Drake!” Grace called over the singing.

“I know! It’s pretty awesome! I feel so special!” Drake sang.

“We could record you singing for little dude so she can play it…” Toby suggested, yelling over the din.

“That is a great idea!” Grace replied.

Drake continued to sing in the background, and each time he paused to take a breath, Cain would scream again. “I’m going to record him!” Toby hollered.

Drake sang endlessly. “I gotta quit, my throat hurts,” he finally sang.

“I’ve got it recorded,” Toby said as Drake finished.

“Send it to me,” Drake sang.

“Thank you!” Grace laughed and hung up the phone. In the moments between Toby sending the songs to Drake and Drake sending them to her, Cain cried. “Honey, you gotta calm down!” Her phone buzzed and she opened the file of Drake singing. Cain’s sobs subsided immediately. She texted Drake while it played in the background.

G: Apparently, he wants to hear you.

D: Did you get my note? I’m sorry I didn’t wake you.

G: I did!

D: Watch it, will you?

G: Okay.

Grace spent the rest of the day rocking Cain and listening to the same songs by Drake, over and over again. By nightfall, she was nearly crazy. As Damien walked in the house, looking exhausted, he took Cain from her.

“How’s my favorite boy?”

Grace pointed at the phone, which still played. “If I turn this off, he cries. Incessantly.”

“Oh ho boy. Someone likes Drake.” Damien snuggled him, and Cain laughed.

“I know! This could be a problem.” Grace sighed.

“Well, maybe he is telling you something. Ya know, something more permanent,” Damien suggested.

“I don’t know if I’m ready!”

“Well…” Damien started. “I-uh, there may be some changes here.”

“What are you talking about?” Grace took Cain back from him and kissed his cheek.

“Ah…so...as you well know, I met someone.” Damien shifted on his feet, seeming nervous all of a sudden.

“Yeah. What about it?” Grace asked.

“Well, Ellie is…let’s just say she’s something really special. I think she’s going to be moving in here in the next few weeks.” Damien tugged at his collar.

“Are you kicking me out?” Grace murmured sadly.

“No! What? No! I’m just saying I think I love her, and she’s going to be moving in. I finally think I’m ready to let someone in my life again,” Damien replied.

“I’m happy for you.” Grace touched his arm lovingly. “Maybe Cain and I should move out.”

“No! I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying maybe you should consider something more permanent yourself. That boy loves you and Cain. Life is short, Grace. You and Cain always have a home with me. I don’t want to see you skulking around here anymore. When you were getting ready for that boy to come, you just had this light in your eyes, this happiness. I want to see that Grace all the time, and I think Cain does too.”

Grace shrugged sadly and sighed. “I’ll think about it. I told him we were exclusively dating. I mean, that’s a lot.”

“Yeah, I think he was planning on a little more than that. I mean, hey, I could be wrong, but I’ve got a feeling he was hoping to pop the question.”

Grace’s mouth fell open. “What?”

“Hey, like I said, I could be wrong. I know that boy loves you.” Damien leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I just want you to be happy like I am. That’s all.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

She couldn’t stop thinking about her father’s words. Could Drake seriously be considering asking me to marry him? No, that’s not possible. Why is Cain acting like this? Come on, it’s coincidence. She bit her bottom lip and blushed hot as she thought about the night before. It didn’t just feel like something casual last night. Then again, it never felt casual. Not even the first time. We’re attracted to each other. I love him. Cain loves him. I don’t know if this could work. Why is Dad moving his lady friend in? I mean, how does one just know when it’s right? The right person, the right time? When?

Her phone played Drake’s voice constantly while she readied Cain for bed. Finally, after he dozed, she shut the songs off and blew out a breath of relief. It had been a long day, ridiculously long. Drake wanted her to stay up late and watch some guy’s late night show and frankly, it was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted to take a long bubble bath, read a smutty romance novel, and sleep.

Instead, at eleven at night, she turned the TV on and found Jerome Bryant’s show. The middle-aged comedian made a few jokes she found halfway funny, and she was to the point of being ready to shut it off when he said that Jacob’s Ladder was next.

Grace scrambled to sitting and her pulse picked up as the commercial ended and Drake stood on stage. Her phone started to ring, and she picked it up off her nightstand. A number from New York was calling that she didn’t recognize. “Hello?”

“Hi, this is Jerome Bryant. Is this Grace?” The camera panned to Jerome, who held a phone.

“This is Grace,” she squeaked.

“There’s a young man here who has something to tell you.”

The camera swung back to Drake, who began to strum his guitar. Her heart pounded in her chest as he began to sing.

“I never knew what it could be like to love someone like you

It happened, quickly, and I know it’s true.

I can’t stop thinking about you

I can’t stop dreaming about you

I just want the best for you

I think they call that love

Love

l-o-v-e love, love

truer than the only truth

yeah love, love

I know Grace that I’m in love with you

I’ll wait a million years until you love me too

As completely as I’m in love with you

I’ll wait a lifetime and a day

Until you’ll say

Yes, I’ll marry you, I’ll be yours forever

No I won’t stop never because

I think they call that love

Love

l-o-v-e love, love

truer than the only truth

yeah love, love

I know Grace that I’m in love with you

This song might be simple, but I know that it’s true

I know the way I feel about you

All I ask, so listen please

I’m down here on my knees.

Marry me, marry me today.

Let’s run away, so far away

Where there’s only me and only you

I think they call that love

Love

l-o-v-e, love, love

truer than the only truth

yeah love, love,

Grace, I know that I’m in love with you.”

The song drew to a close.

Tears pooled in her eyes, and she pressed her fist to her mouth. How does someone know when the right time is? Who the right person is? Is anyone ever really sure? The camera switched to Drake, who was now kneeling with a ring in hand. “Will you marry me, Grace? Will you and Cain become my family?”

Her breath came fast, and finally she squealed with no doubts left in her mind, “YES! Yes, Drake, I’ll marry you!”

Jerome laughed. “Well, there you go, ladies and gentlemen, the little lady said yes! Congratulations, Drake and Grace! I hope to have an invitation to the wedding! Grace, it was lovely to talk to you. Have a great night. We’re going to play you out with more Jacob’s Ladder!” He hung up the phone, and Grace sat frozen as she stared at Drake on the screen. He was playing while Toby sang now, another ballad about love.

“I hear congratulations are in order…” Damien stood in her doorway, and Grace leapt off the bed and into his arms.

“Did you know?” Grace squealed.

“Well, he may have called and asked my permission. Maybe.” Damien chuckled as he squeezed her tight.

“You hinted at it, and I thought you were just being silly, but you knew the whole time! Oh my God, I’m engaged!” Grace hissed. “What if I’m making a mistake?” Dread filled her.

“Look at me. When you see that man, what do you feel?”

Grace turned to look back at the TV, where the band still played. Staring at Drake, her heart swelled with pleasure. “I feel…happiness.”

“Then that’s all you need to worry about. The rest of life has a way of figuring things out. Love doesn’t pay the bills. It makes things cozy even when times are hard. I have no doubts in my mind that Drake loves both you and Cain. He’ll make you a good husband. You’ll make him a wonderful wife, and you’ll be great parents to Cain and any future babies you both have. Congratulations, Grace. You deserve all the happiness in the world. After the hell you’ve gone through, you deserve it. I’ve worried about you so much since Christina’s death, and now I feel like I don’t have to worry anymore.” Damien pulled her into his arms again, and Grace hugged him tight.

“It’s scary and exciting,” she admitted.

“Yeah, it is. Everything worth having in life is scary,” Damien assured her. “Good night, sweetheart.”

“Night, Dad.” She crawled up on the bed and pulled out her diary, needing to relieve her tumultuous thoughts somehow.

Dear Diary,

I’m engaged! To Drake Stone! This is crazy. I was so sure I wasn’t ready for a commitment. Dad’s right. Life is short. Christina’s death proved that to me, and I’m tired of living like I’m scared. I’m ready to have a future. I’ve been given the gift of time, and I can’t waste it. Not anymore. Cain deserves a dad in his life, and I deserve to be happy too. Christina would want that. I want that. I don’t know how things will end up, if I’ll live here with Dad, if I’ll get a place with Drake, or what. I just know that I’m terrified and excited all at the same time.

Grace

Her phone rang, and Drake’s name flashed across the screen. She picked it up and breathlessly whispered, “You proposed!”

“I know I pushed you, and I’m sorry. I couldn’t leave things the way they were after last night. It was too special to me. I want you to be my wife.” She grinned as she heard catcalls in the background.

“Tell the boys I said hi.” She giggled.

“They’re so immature. Toby’s pretending to hump Jordan, and I sort of think they both like it!” There was a laugh, and she heard muffled sounds.

“Hello?”

“Hey, is this Grace? This is Toby. I’d like to tell you that there is no way in hell I like humping Jordan’s ass. I just wanted to make that clear. Oh, shit! He’s gonna get me! Bye!” The phone disconnected, and she snorted with laughter.

A few moments later, it rang again, and Drake hollered, “I told you she was off limits, dammit!”

“You are an asshole!” Toby whined.

“What’s going on?” Grace laughed again.

“I kicked his ass,” Drake crowed.

“You guys are something else…” She giggled.

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t wait anymore. I know it put a lot of pressure on you…” Drake apologized.

“Sometimes I need a little push. I’m content with my answer.”

“Well, do you have a date in mind?” Drake asked.

“I do. How does March 14th sound?” Grace’s throat closed a little, and she choked back tears.

“Aw, babe. If you want it then, I’ll be there,” Drake murmured.

“I want it then.” Grace sniffled, wiping her eyes. “I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll try to get back between now and then. Ah, hell, it’s my mom…can I let you go?” Drake asked.

“Sure, go talk to her. I bet she’s heard you’re engaged.” Grace laughed through her tears.

“I know. She’ll never let me live it down that I didn’t tell her first.” Drake chuckled. “I love you, Mrs. Drake Stone.”

“I love you.” Grace hung up the phone and fell back against her pillows. Mrs. Drake Stone…

Chapter Twenty-Four

Grace sat in front of her mirror. The day was bittersweet. Tears filled her eyes again and coursed down her cheeks, smearing her makeup once again. Today, one year ago, her best friend left the earth, and gave her the greatest gift of all, Cain. Raising Cain in the last year had been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Now, on his birthday, and the day of his mother’s death, she was getting married to Drake Stone.

It was the only day that had made sense, considering Christina’s lies had brought them together. As much as hearing Christina had lied about Drake had hurt, she was grateful now for the time apart. They’d both grown up and found themselves.

“Oh, sweetie, crying again?” Her grandma, Annie, stood at the door, resplendent in a pale rose-colored dress.

“I’m probably going to cry all day,” Grace admitted.

“Well, then we’ll wait to fix your makeup until the last minute. You shouldn’t be crying, sweetheart. You should be blissfully happy.” Annie stepped into the room and wrapped her arms around Grace’s shoulders. Grace leaned back into her grandma’s embrace.

“I am. I can’t believe it’s been a year since Christina died, and that Cain is a year old today! Time has flown.”

Annie kissed the top of her head. “I know, sweetheart. I’m sitting here looking at you in your wedding gown and thinking the same thing. Time has flown since we got you. I know your mother would be so proud of you. You’ve turned into an amazing woman.”

Grace wept then, turning into Annie’s embrace and soaking the shoulder of her dress. “Christina was my life’s catalyst. She changed my life. I just wish she could be here today.”

“I know, sweetheart. Your mama and Christina are both here. There’s no doubt in my mind they’re watching, and they would want to see you smiling and happy. You’re about to go marry the man you love.” Annie rubbed her back, and Grace pulled back and wiped her eyes.

“Give me a few minutes, okay? I just need to do something.”

Annie smiled and walked to the door. “Okay.”

Grace followed behind her and closed the door. She pulled her diary out of her nightstand and moved back to the dressing table, her pale pink skirts swirling around her feet. Sitting, she opened her pen and wrote one last note on the very last page.

Dear Diary,

Although our lives don’t always turn out how we imagined, we have to find beauty in the imperfect moments. We must live wholly, love completely, and take risks, even when things seem the bleakest. Because the shining light at the end of the tunnel is our future. We can run for it and take what comes, or we can become stagnant. It’s up to us. In the end, what we did in our limited time here on Earth is our choice. No one else’s.

Christina taught me that. In her short life, she taught me what it was to care about someone. Then she gave me the two best things that have ever happened to me. Cain, my sweet, wonderful boy, and Drake, my fiancé.

I don’t know if she would have told me about Drake if she hadn’t gotten sick. I like to think she would have. The truth is, I’ll never know. Maybe this was her plan all along, to know that the wild roses would have a home. She helped me find myself, and find my father, who has become one of the rocks in my life. Without Dad, I don’t know where Cain and I would be. She gave me a home, and even though she knew she’d never have a family to grow old with, she made sure Cain had one.

We do. All three of us have a home. Her lies saved me from myself. If Drake and I had gotten together back then, we would’ve never made it. Now, on the anniversary of her death…no, on the anniversary of her life, the life she gave up to save her son, I’m bringing everything full circle.

Our family is complete, and I can never thank Christina enough for that. I’ll always miss her. I have her with me, forever. This marks the end of a chapter in my life, one that has been turbulent and rocky. It is ending with a happily ever after. I guess they do come for girls like me.

Grace Evans (only for a little longer!)

She closed the diary and held it to her chest for a moment before putting it on her bookshelf, right next to other diaries she’d filled. Sitting back at the mirror, she wiped her face and reapplied her makeup. There was less than twenty minutes until she walked down the aisle to become Mrs. Drake Stone. A knock came at her door and she called, “Come in!”

Drake’s mother, Connie, stood framed in the doorway. “Oh, Grace! You look beautiful!”

Grace had kept her dress choice a secret until today. She’d picked a small designer in Phoenix who made her an ethereal pale rose colored dress that swirled around her. A sweetheart neckline and beading made up the bodice, and at the waist, a cluster of roses fluttered down to a delicate tulle skirt.

“Thank you.” She smiled at the woman she’d come to care for. Drake had complained that she didn’t seem happy with his life choices, that was, until he got engaged.

“Oh, one of the curls on the back of your hair has fallen down, may I fix it?”

“Please do.” Grace sat still as Connie swirled up the curl and fastened it with a rose tipped bobby pin.

“You make my Drake so happy.” Connie patted her shoulder.

“He makes me happy.”

Annie came to the door. “Are we ready?”

“Yes,” Grace murmured serenely. She was no longer scared of being in love with Drake Stone. The man who had once been the sexy, off-limits teacher had turned into the attainable rock god. Now he fulfilled daddy duties perfectly, and Grace could finally imagine a future for herself with him.

That future was as bright as the sky outside the mansion. The day was nearly cloudless with cerulean skies. Grace followed Connie and Annie to the edge of the garden. The wedding was set next to Christina’s rose bush. It had seemed fitting.

It had been an easy choice who would walk her down the aisle. Both of the men who had raised her would be. One on each arm. Grandpa Archie on her left, and Damien on her right. They came to stand beside her.

“Are you ready?” Archie murmured.

“I am.”

“It’s time.” Damien squeezed her hand.

Strains of a familiar song started to play. “What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s your wedding march,” Damien murmured.

As she stepped onto the white runner into the garden, Drake began to sing. He stood, playing his guitar and singing “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton. It had always been one of her favorite songs, and she’d divulged that to him in a late night conversation a few weeks prior. To have him play it as her wedding march was one of the best gifts she ever could have received.

She fought against the tears prickling at her eyelashes as she walked toward the man she loved. At the end of the runner, she accepted a kiss from Grandpa Archie and a kiss from Damien. They left her standing there and as the song came to a close, Drake put down the guitar and took her hand.

“You look wonderful today,” he murmured sweetly against her ear.

Archie stood before them, next to Christina’s rose bush. “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Grace and Drake. The couple has decided to forgo traditional vows. Drake?”

Drake took a ring from Toby and smiled at Grace. “I, Drake, take you, Grace, to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to stand with you through darkness and light, and I take you as you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses. You complete me, and I am so happy that we are a family. I choose you as the woman I spend the rest of my life with.” He slid the simple white gold band onto her finger and smiled.

Grace turned and accepted Drake’s ring from Annie, who stood in as her matron of honor. “I, Grace, take you, Drake, to be my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to stand by you through darkness and light, and I take you as you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses. You made me see that love is worth having, even though it’s terrifying. I love you. I choose you as the man I spend the rest of my life with.” She slipped his gold band onto his finger.

“And now, by the power vested in me by the state of Connecticut and with special licensing in Arizona, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Grace stared into Drake’s eyes and as his lips touched hers, happiness filled her heart to bursting. The small crowd of their closest friends and family cheered, and they pulled apart. Grace blushed as her grandpa called over the din, “Mr. and Mrs. Drake Stone, everyone!”

A helicopter came buzzing over the mansion and Grace rolled her eyes at the paparazzi trying to get a story. “Shall we take this back inside?” She laughed, not letting anything ruin her day.

Drake took her hand and they ran up the aisle. Once back inside the mansion, they meandered to the large ballroom that had never been used as long as Damien had owned the house. It had been set up beautifully, with roses everywhere. The heavy, sweet scent permeated the air, and Grace smiled happily.

“Are you happy, Mrs. Stone?” Drake whispered in her ear.

She turned and put her arms around his neck. “I am.”

“Someone wants his daddy.” Connie giggled, handing Cain to Drake as they pulled apart.

“Da! Da! Da! Da!” Cain squawked, his first time to babble.

“Yes, little man. I’m your dada, and I love you and your mom very much.”

Addie and Patrick found them, their children following behind. “The wedding was beautiful! I owe you an apology,” Addie started, her eyes welling with tears.

“For what?” Grace asked, reaching out a hand to the older woman.

“I worried you couldn’t handle raising Cain on your own. You’ve proven me wrong, and I’m so glad. Christina made the right choice in choosing you to be his mom. You make a beautiful bride, Grace. I know Christina is looking down with a big smile on her face. I wish the both of you a lifetime of happiness.”

Grace pulled the woman in for a hug. “Thank you,” she whispered brokenly. “I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” Addie murmured. They pulled apart and Addie asked, “May I hold him a little while?”

“Please do.” Grace grinned as the couple played with Cain.

A flash made her jump and with a gasp, she realized it was just the wedding photographer, not a paparazzo that snuck in.

“Relax,” Drake murmured. “You’re so beautiful, Grace.” She smiled as he took her hand. “Shall we dance?”

“Of course, Mr. Stone.” Her pulse fluttered as he pulled her in tight. Music began to play as they swayed along. It was the first song Drake had written for her, and shivers coursed through her as he softly sang the song in her ear.

As the song finished, he kissed her cheek. “I love you.”

She turned her lips up for a kiss and murmured as he obliged her, “I love you.”

And with that, Grace knew she finally had her happily ever after.

The End

Discover other titles by

Scarlett Jade

The Rhythm of the Heart Series:

September Tango

November Foxtrot

February Waltz

Just a Little Taste Series:

Love at First Bite

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Wild Rose Series

Saving Grace

Finding Christina

Raising Cain

The Mistletoe Bride

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Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

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