Pioneer Series: Book 2

The Marriage Agreement

Ruth Ann Nordin

This is a work of fiction.  The events and characters described herein are imaginary and are not intended to refer to specific places or living persons.  The opinions expressed in this manuscript are solely the opinions of the author and also represent the opinions or thoughts of the publisher.

The Marriage Agreement

All Rights Reserved.

Copyright 2016 Ruth Ann Nordin

V1.0

Cover Photo images Period Images. http://www.periodimages.com/welcome-to-periodimagescom.  All rights reserved – used with permission.

Cover Photo images Dreamstime.  www.dreamstime.com.  All rights reserved – used with permission.

Cover made by Stephannie Beman.

This book may not be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part by any means including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without expressed written consent of the publisher/author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Coming Soon: Groom For Hire

More Excellent Reads at Parchment & Plume

Dedication: To Judy Lavik who’s been with me through the years.  Thank you for being so nice to me!

Chapter One

Omaha, Nebraska

May 1865

Laura Rufus adjusted her hat and gave a good look at her reflection in the mirror next to her armoire.  Would Jesse Palmer say yes if she proposed?  She adjusted the blue hat once more, judging how well it matched her dress.  It was a new dress.  She’d finished it last week, but this was her first time wearing it.

Releasing her breath, she took the hat off and placed it on the dresser.  She removed the pins holding her hair up then allowed the blonde locks to fall down her back.  She brushed her hair.  Why was she worrying so much about how she looked?  She wasn’t trying to win Jesse over with her beauty.  She was only doing this to be a mother to his ten-month-old son, Elliot.

Just the thought of the sweet baby boy made her heart warm in pleasure.  She couldn’t love him more if she’d been his real mother.  Poor Elsie died giving birth to him on the wagon trail to Omaha.  He had survived, however, despite being born two months early.  He was a miracle, and Elsie would be proud of him.  She’d be proud of Jesse, too, because Jesse loved Elliot more than some fathers loved their children.

I’m doing this for Elliot, Laura reminded herself.  She set the hat back on her head.  She went back to the mirror and studied her reflection again.  Rarely did she wear her hair down, especially when she took care of Elliot.  The boy made it a habit of pulling anything within his reach, and hair hurt something awful when it was pulled.

But she thought having her hair resting in golden waves down her back made her look softer.  If men had an easier time saying yes to a woman who was attractive, then she needed all the help she could get.  Not that she considered herself plain.  She wasn’t prone to conceit, but she thought she was pretty.  The hair only made her prettier.

In order to be Elliot’s mother, she had to convince Jesse to marry her.  But was he ready to marry again?  Elsie had only been gone for ten months.  That wasn’t much time.  But Elliot was getting older, and the other day when he reached for her while he was taking his first step, she imagined him calling her, “Ma,” and ever since, the image had been stuck in her head.

She bit her lower lip.  Was she being selfish in wanting to be the boy’s mother?  Should she let Jesse be free to marry someone else, someone he could love like he’d loved Elsie?

The internal debate was the one thing that’d held her back from acting sooner.  Jesse’s happiness was important, too.  It wasn’t just the matter of being a mother to Elliot.  She’d also be Jesse’s wife.  Well, not really his wife.  She’d never take Elsie’s place.  No man had been more devoted to his wife than Jesse had been to Elsie.  The poor man had been devastated when she died.

Just thinking about it brought tears to Laura’s eyes.  She hated it when people were sad, especially good ones like Jesse.  It wasn’t fair they should suffer.  She grabbed the handkerchief from her dresser and dabbed her eyes.  Her mother often wondered how she could be so engaged with other people’s emotions, and Laura didn’t understand it herself.  Sharing in others’ joys and heartaches just seemed to come naturally to her.

She took a deep breath to gather her composure and tucked the handkerchief into her pocket.  Retrieving her drawstring purse, she took one last look at her reflection.  She smiled, wondering if she looked pretty enough to make Jesse agree to marry her.

“There’s only one way to find out,” she said.

She spun on her heel and left her room.

Laura had made it halfway to the front door when her mother called out, “Where are you going?” from the parlor.

Laura paused in mid-step and went to the parlor doorway.  “I’m on my way to watch Elliot.  I told you about it this morning during breakfast.  Remember?”

Her mother glanced up from the pillowcase she was sewing.  “Yes, I remember you saying that, but I don’t remember you saying you planned to dress for church.”

“Oh, don’t be silly.  It’s Tuesday.”

“Which is why I’m surprised to see you in such a pretty dress.”

“Yes, well, I wanted to try out my new dress.”

“You should do that for church, not to go watch a baby who could drool all over you.”

“Elliot will be fine, Ma,” Laura said.  “I made those bibs for him, and they’re thick, just like you suggested.”

Her mother seemed to relent a bit.  “I suppose your dress will be fine, but I still wish you wouldn’t dress up so nicely to go over there.  You’d be better off making yourself all beautiful for the men around here who are looking to get married.”

Laura bit her lower lip.  Should she mention she was planning to ask Jesse to marry her?  No.  Jesse might say no.  If he did that, she’d tell her mother for nothing, and more than that, she’d be embarrassed if anyone else knew.

“I’ll wear this dress to church on Sunday,” Laura promised her mother, thinking that would be the safest way to go.

Fortunately, the tactic worked, for her mother nodded and turned back to her pillowcase.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Laura headed out to the livery stable.  Her father had purchased a buggy shortly after they arrived in Omaha.  Over the past few months, it’d come in handy, especially since she used it to go out to Jesse’s farm.  Sometimes, her father or mother would take her out there.  Amanda Larson, her friend, had even taken her on occasion.  But on some days, like today, she was allowed to go by herself.  She’d purposely chosen a day when she’d be alone to make her proposal.

The ride out to the farm went faster than she’d expected.  On most days, it seemed to take forever to get to where she wanted.  It was only when she was nervous that things happened much too fast for her liking.

When the buggy pulled up to the barn, she took a deep breath, hoping to stop the anxious butterflies that wanted to wreck havoc on her poor stomach.  But they only fluttered with greater intensity.

“I can do this,” she whispered, gathering what little courage she could.  “If he says no, it’ll be alright.  I can still see Elliot.” And who knew?  Perhaps Jesse would say yes at a later date in the future?  Anything was possible.

She swallowed and set the brake.  Jesse was usually in the barn this time of day, so she decided she’d go there before seeing Elliot.  Yes, she could wait and ask Jesse after she was done watching Elliot, but she’d rather get this over with.  There was no way she’d be able to concentrate otherwise.

She made it to the barn door and searched for Jesse, but he wasn’t there.  She only saw the goat, cow, and two horses.  She’d been at this farm long enough to know that if two horses were in the stall, then it meant Jesse wasn’t in the fields.  And if he wasn’t in the barn, then he had to be in the house.

Well, she’d go in there and ask to speak to him alone.  There was no sense in having Mrs. Shaw, his mother-in-law, watch her make a potential fool of herself.  Steeling her resolve, she lifted the hem of her dress and strode across the lawn to the single-story home.  She recalled Mrs. Shaw arguing with him over his initial plan to make a sod house.

“A house made of dirt is no place to raise your child,” she’d said.  “You either make a real home for my grandchild, or I’ll send word for someone back in New York to take me and him back.”

So that was why Jesse borrowed money from the bank to purchase lumber.

When she reached the bottom step of the porch, she heard Mrs. Shaw and Jesse yelling.  She paused.  Maybe now wasn’t a good time.  Yes, they often argued.  That wasn’t unusual, but there was something different about this particular fight.

For one, they were doing it in the house.  Mrs. Shaw rarely made it a point to be in the house.  She often stayed in the little cabin Jesse had made for her.  So when they did fight, it was usually outside or in the barn.  As for the other thing, Laura sensed desperation in Jesse’s voice.

“You have no right to raise a child out here by yourself,” Mrs. Shaw said with a huff.

“I have every right to raise him.  He’s mine,” Jesse barked.  “Now, you get on out of here.  I thought I made it clear you’re not welcome in this house.”

“Don’t take that tone with me.  I’m his grandma, and Elsie was my daughter.  I have the same rights to him that you do.”

“No, you don’t.  He’s my son.  My son!  This land will one day be his, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”

Something in Laura snapped, and she hurried up the porch steps and to the front door, hoping she’d gotten there just in time to prevent anything bad from happening.

***

Jesse Palmer glared at Fanny, his mother-in-law, who stared at him with cold determination in her eyes.  “Elliot’s staying with me, and that’s final.” Turning his attention to the old coot’s brother, who was holding a gun, he added, “I can’t believe you came all the way out here from New York to get involved in this.  Get out of my kitchen.  I got to make some lunch for when my son wakes up from his nap.”

“You see how he is?” Fanny asked her brother, gesturing to Jesse.  “He has no respect for his elders.  No respect at all!”

“You have to earn respect to get it,” Jesse replied through clenched teeth.

Predictably, Fanny gasped as if this was the worst thing anyone could say to her.

Laura burst into the room, and when she saw the gun in Burt’s hand, she shrieked.

“Don’t mind him,” Jesse told Laura.  “He’s not going to use it.”

“How do you know that?” Fanny asked, hands on her broad hips.

“Because he would have used it already.” He snapped at Burt, “Put that thing away.”

Burt hesitated but finally did.

“What are you doing?” Fanny demanded, slapping his arm.  “You got to get Elliot so I can take him back home.  That’s why you came all the way out here.”

“No, I came out here to make sure the boy is in good hands,” Burt argued.  “You said Jesse was hurting him.”

“Jesse’s done nothing of the sort!” Laura spoke up then hurried over to Jesse.  “Why, Jesse’s been nothing but kind to him.  Elsie would be proud.”

“You can’t believe anything she has to say,” Fanny said.  “She’s in love with him.”

Laura’s face went red.  “I am not!” She looked at Burt.  “I’ve been coming out here to help with Elliot.  Jesse needs to be in the fields on most days, and she,” she pointed to Fanny, “is too old to take care of him all the time.”

“If that’s true,” Burt began, directing his attention to Jesse, “then you won’t mind me checking on Elliot and making sure everything’s alright.”

Jesse really didn’t think it was any of Burt’s business what was happening with his son, but if Burt saw everything was fine and left, it’d be worth it.  Then next time Fanny claimed he was doing something to hurt his son, no one would believe her.

“Fine,” Jesse said.  “But only on one condition.  After you see he’s safe, you’ll leave and take Fanny with you.”

As he expected, Burt cringed.  No one wanted Fanny around.  Elsie had been the only one who’d been able to tolerate her, and she was no longer around to keep the woman in line.  Lord knew Jesse hadn’t been able to do it, no matter how much he tried.  And did he ever try!  Fanny was impossible to talk to.  The best thing anyone could do was pawn her off on someone else.  Well, now it was Burt’s turn.  Jesse had paid his dues.

“I can’t leave a baby without a woman to take care of him,” Burt said.  “As a working man, I know it’s impossible to rear a child while providing for a family.”

“Then I can step in and watch Elliot after Mrs. Shaw leaves,” Laura replied.

“A baby needs more than someone to come out here a few times a week,” Fanny argued, her expression growing dark.

“I agree.” Laura cleared her throat and straightened her back.  “That’s why I’m willing to marry Jesse.  Then Elliot can have a full-time mother.”

Jesse wasn’t sure he heard right until Burt asked, “You’re willing to marry Jesse?”

Fanny shot Laura an accusatory look and spat, “And you dared to say you weren’t in love with him.”

Laura opened her mouth to argue, but Burt stepped between them.  “Fanny, leave us alone.  We got to talk about this.”

Fanny frowned.  “Why can’t I be here for this talk?”

“Because you’ll only interrupt us, and I need to make sure I do what’s best for Elliot.” When she didn’t seem the least bit happy about the matter, he pressed, “You had me come all the way out here to see to the baby’s welfare.  So let me see to it.”

Fanny opened her mouth as if to argue, but then Burt gave her a look that convinced her to shut it and leave the room.  How Jesse wished he had that gift.  If he had, she wouldn’t be so impossible to deal with.

Burt motioned to the kitchen table.  “Sit and we’ll talk about this.”

Laura shot Jesse an anxious look, and for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what she was thinking.  Whatever prompted her to make such a ridiculous offer?  Marriage?  To him?  Coming to help with Elliot was one thing, but he couldn’t ask her to give up a future with a good man for Elliot’s sake.

After the three sat down, Jesse cleared his throat.  “No one expects you to marry me,” he told her.

“Why not?” Burt asked before Laura could respond.  “I think it’s a good idea.  I love my sister because she’s kin, but I know she’s not an easy woman to deal with.  She never was.  She was the youngest of fifteen children and spoiled rotten because of it.” He lowered his voice and directed his gaze to Jesse.  “No one wants her to go back to New York.  You’d be doing me and everyone back home a huge favor if you’d marry this pretty young lady over there.” He gestured to Laura as if she wasn’t sitting right there listening to everything he was saying.  “A baby would do well with a mother.  God knows Fanny’s not only too old to do the job herself, but she’d only make the poor boy miserable.  At least with this lady for a mother, he’ll have a chance at a happy life.”

As much as Jesse hated to join in and pretend Laura wasn’t right there, he answered, “Laura should marry a good man who’ll love her.  The last thing she needs is that old coot bothering her all the time.”

“But I made the offer,” Laura spoke up.  “I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t mean it.”

Jesse finally turned his attention to her.  “You have a good heart.  You’re the kind of person who’ll do anything for anyone.  It’s one of your best traits.  But I don’t want you wasting your life out here.”

“Hold on,” Burt interrupted.  “It’s up to this lady to decide what she wants to do, and she’s made it clear she wants to be a mother to Elliot.  This is the best way to handle things.  If she marries you, then my sister can’t cry her grandson isn’t being cared for.  And Jesse, do you honestly want to be stuck with Fanny all day long because you have no one else to care for your boy while you’re working?”

At this, Jesse’s ears perked up.  “You’ll take Fanny back if I take a wife?”

Burt shook his head.  “Heck no.  I wouldn’t take Fanny back if the devil himself was coming after me to do it.  No one wants her.”

Jesse scowled at him.  “Then what good does marriage do me?” Remembering Laura was sitting next to him, his face softened.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.  Any man would be happy to be with you.  It’s just that I’m not looking to get married.”

“You don’t understand what I’m saying,” Burt told Jesse before Laura could reply.  “With Laura here all the time, you won’t need Fanny to come in here when you need to do some work.  Laura will be here to take care of Elliot for you.  Your time with Fanny can be shortened.  It’ll make things more doable.”

“More doable?  Why don’t you take the old coot and lock her in a room at your home?  That’d be even more doable.”

Burt cringed.  “I can’t do that.  It’s not right.  At least out here she has her own place.  She doesn’t live in this house with you.  You have a bigger home than any of us do, and you’re obviously doing well for yourself on all these acres.”

Jesse shook his head.  “I can’t condemn Laura to this kind of life.  Even if Fanny has her own house, you can hear her complaining from a mile away.”

Laura cleared her throat and waited for the two men to look at her before she spoke.  “I’d like to have some say in this since I’m a part of the discussion.”

When she made eye contact with Jesse, he offered her a nod.  She was right.  She should be able to do that.  He just hoped she wasn’t going to make a horrible mistake.  Marriage to him would be like prison.  Not only would Fanny be nearby all the time, but he didn’t love her.

After a moment of silence passed between them, Laura began, “Jesse, I know you’re still mourning Elsie’s death.  I’m not trying to take her place.  We’d only be married in name.  The truth is, there are no suitable prospects around here for a woman my age.  I can’t get a job, and I’m stuck with my parents.  Sometimes my father talks about some of the older men he works with, but I don’t want to be with a widower twice my age.  Men are either too old or too young out here.  The few my age are already married.  I like you.  You’re a friend.  I feel comfortable with you.  And though I’m not Elliot’s real mother, I love him as if he were my own son.  I just think this is something that could benefit us both, even if Mrs. Shaw is going to be a part of it.”

“There,” Burt said, a pleased smile on his face.  “The matter is settled.” He got to his feet as if everything really was, as he put it, settled.  “My sister will stay here, and since you got this lovely new bride to be a mother to the boy, she’ll have to leave you alone.”

Jesse jerked to his feet.  “You can’t be serious.  You know full well Fanny won’t leave me alone.”

“If she comes in here uninvited,” Burt began, “give her a peak into a newlywed’s life.  That’ll make her stay away.”

Jesse’s jaw dropped at the man’s suggestion.  The man couldn’t be serious!

“If you don’t want to do that, put locks on the doors and windows,” Burt amended.  “I can tell you right now that it’s way too easy for anyone to get in here.”

Laura slowly rose to her feet after Burt left the room.  From the parlor, he could hear Burt talking to Fanny, and though their voices were low, he knew full well Burt was telling her she’d be staying here and Jesse would be marrying Laura.

“Jesse,” Laura began, her voice soft, “are you mad at me?”

Jesse finally turned his gaze to her.  While they were on the trail heading for Nebraska, she’d been the only person who’d offered him help when he’d needed it most.  “No,” he said after a long pause.  “I’m not mad at you.”

He could never be mad at her.  She’d gone above and beyond what was expected of her, and never once had she ever asked for anything.  But she was asking for something now.  More than that, she was offering something in return.  It was just like her to be generous to a fault.

“Are your parents giving you grief?” he asked.

She lowered her gaze, and in that moment, he knew they were.  He barely knew her parents.  They’d kept their distance during their time on the trail, and after they reached Omaha, he only saw them when they brought Laura out to his place so she could watch Elliot.  Beyond a polite greeting, he hadn’t said anything to them.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.  “I didn’t realize it was that difficult for you.”

“I just don’t want to marry someone because my parents pick him for me.  I’d like to have the choice.  If I was a man, it’d be different.  I could find a job and live on my own.  But being a woman, I’m either going to live with my parents or find a husband to provide for me.  I’d like to have a say in who that husband will be.”

Well, he couldn’t fault her for that.  Even if she refused to marry any of the older men they were bringing to her, he wondered if they dictated more of her life than she was telling him.

“I know what it’s like to live with someone who makes life hard,” he told her.  “If it weren’t for you helping with Elliot, I don’t know what would have happened.  Burt’s right.  I can’t do this alone.  Elliot’s getting older, and before I know it, he’ll be running around and getting into everything.  It’d be nice if Fanny wasn’t with him so much.”

Fanny’s constant complaining could very well have a bad effect on his son.  If he could have someone like Laura there—all the time—instead, he’d feel a lot better.

“I don’t want you to make a decision you’re going to regret,” Jesse said.  “There could be a young man coming into Omaha in the next month or the next year, and he might offer you more than I can.”

“But he won’t have Elliot.”

He stared at her for a long moment, carefully weighing her words and struggling to find a good argument—one that would secure her a better future than the one she was asking from him.  He couldn’t come up with one.  Yes, there could be a man coming to Omaha.  There might be something better waiting for her.  But if he’d learned nothing else from Elsie’s untimely death, it was that nothing was a guarantee.

“You really want to do this?” he asked, giving her one more chance to back out.

She nodded.  “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.  I’m sure.”

Praying he wasn’t making a decision they’d later regret, he said, “Alright.  We’ll get married.”

Chapter Two

“You can’t be serious,” Laura’s mother nearly shouted later that day.

Laura glanced from her very upset mother to her equally upset father.  The two sat in front of her in the parlor, their eyes wide in shock and their jaws dropped.  She’d known they weren’t going to like the news of her betrothal to Jesse, but she’d hoped they weren’t going to react so badly to it.

Her mother set her needlepoint down and turned to her father.  “I told you she’d get scared if you kept bringing those older men over here.  This is all your fault.”

“My fault?” her father asked, looking offended.  “Did you want her to remain unmarried her entire life?  Girls her age get married.  Pretty soon, no one will want to marry her.  This isn’t Pennsylvania where there’s lots of men to choose from.”

“If you had brought someone here who was a good match, she might have taken an interest,” her mother argued.

“It doesn’t matter if she thinks they were good matches or not,” her father replied.

Laura’s face warmed from a mixture of anger and embarrassment.  “Might I remind you I’m in the room?”

The two suddenly stopped bickering and turned their attention to her.

Now that she had their silence, she decided to make the most of it.  “I want to marry Jesse.  This will be a good match.”

“A good match?” Her mother huffed.  “He’s under Mrs. Shaw’s thumb.  You want her telling you what to do for the rest of your life?  I’m telling you, if there’s anything that will make you miserable, it’s being stuck with a controlling person.”

“I’ll only be miserable if I let her make me that way,” Laura said.  “I don’t have to let her bother me.”

“You can’t help but be bothered when she’s nagging you every day.  It wasn’t that long ago we were on the wagon trail and had to listen to her bicker and moan over everything Jesse was doing.” Her mother shot her a pointed look.  “Don’t think she was all that happy to have you helping with Elliot.  Those two often argued over that, too.”

“I know they did,” Laura replied.  “Everyone heard them.  But the fact remains, Mrs. Shaw can’t bother me unless I let her.  It’s all about how I react to her that matters.  I’ll just ignore what she says.”

Her mother shook her head.  “You are too naïve if you believe ignoring her will work.  And what’s worse is that marriage can seem like a long time when you’re with someone who doesn’t love you.  Jesse loved Elsie.  He doesn’t love you.”

“I understand that,” Laura told her, “and I’m fine with it.  I’m doing this because I love Elliot.  He needs a mother, and I want to be that for him.”

“He doesn’t need you to be his mother,” her mother said.  “He has Mrs. Shaw to take care of him while Jesse’s in the field.”

“But Mrs. Shaw is old,” Laura replied.  “She can’t take care of him forever.”

“By the time she’s too old to take care of him, he’ll be old enough to take care of himself,” her mother countered.  “Then what will you have?”

“I don’t want to be a spinster, and I don’t want to marry a man Father’s age,” Laura replied.  “I’d like to have some say over what I do with my life, and this is what I’ve decided.  Jesse is a friend.  We get along fine.  I’m not looking for love.  I’m looking for a life I can make my own, and I want to be a mother to Elliot.”

“You’re making a decision based on emotion,” her father spoke up.  “We’re your parents, and we know what’s best for you.  I’ll go to Jesse and dissolve this engagement.  Then we’ll seek out a better marriage for you.”

Laura’s heart pounded in her ears as she rose to her feet.  “This is my decision.  Not yours.  I’m going to marry Jesse.”

“If you do,” her father began, standing up and looking her in the eye, “then don’t expect us to help you when things go wrong.”

“I won’t,” Laura replied, her lower lip trembling.

She’d never taken such a bold stance against her parents before.  Yes, her parents hadn’t been all that thrilled when she started caring for Elliot, but it was nothing like the resistance they were putting up now.

Her father stared at her for a long moment then ordered her mother to follow him out of the parlor.  Her mother obeyed, only stopping long enough to shake her head, as if to say Laura wasn’t doing the right thing.  But it was her life and she was twenty.  She was no longer a child who needed her parents to make decisions for her.

She stood quietly in the parlor for a good five minutes, acutely aware of the clock ticking above the fireplace.  Her parents were in the kitchen, and though she could make out what they were saying if she focused in on their conversation, she chose not to.  There was no need to.  She already knew they were discussing everything that was wrong with the choice she was making.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she went to the front door and grabbed her hat.  She didn’t feel like staying here at the moment.  She put the hat on her head and made sure it was on securely.  Then she left the house.

***

Laura took a walk for an hour before she knocked on the door of Amanda Larson’s apartment.  When Amanda answered it, Laura asked, “Is this a bad time?”

“No.” Amanda moved aside and waved her in.  “Come in.”

“Thank you.” Laura stepped into the apartment and hung her hat on the hook by the door.  When she turned to go to the couch, she noticed a few papers spread out across the table in front of it.  “Oh, you’re busy.”

“I’m almost done.  Richard hired a new person to help him build houses.”

“How many people help him?”

“This will make three.  Business has been good, and more people are moving to Omaha.” Amanda sat on the couch and gestured for her to settle down beside her.  “I’m going through the papers to double check how much Richard’s spending compared to how much he’s making.  Then when I’m done, I’ll order more supplies.”

Laura knew Amanda helped her husband with his business, but she had no idea Amanda did so much for it.  “You sure are smart.”

“I’m organized.  This doesn’t take a lot of intelligence.”

“Sure, it does,” Laura argued as her gaze swept over the columns and rows that Amanda had been filling in.  “You have to be smart in order to juggle all of this.  It’s nice you help Richard.  Not that I want to see anything bad happen to him, but if it did, you’d probably be able to support yourself.”

Eyebrows furrowed, Amanda studied Laura.  “You seem unusually sad.  Is something bothering you?”

“Well,” Laura shifted and cleared her throat, “I finally got up the nerve to propose to Jesse.”

“You did?”

Noting the shock in her friend’s eyes, she said, “You don’t know how it is for me, Amanda.  Richard was in love with you since you were children.  It was easy for you to find someone.  For me, that hasn’t been the case.  There’s no one close to my age that I can marry.  All the men are my father’s age, and you know how disgusting it would be to marry someone old like that.”

Amanda cringed.  “I didn’t realize it was that bad.”

“When I left Pennsylvania, I heard there were a lot of young men out West who were looking for brides.  What no one told me was that they’re not in Omaha.  You wouldn’t believe some of the men my father’s brought home to meet me.” Just thinking about it made her shudder.  “Anyway, I can’t stay home for the rest of my life.  My parents are difficult.  If I could do the kind of work you do, maybe I’d have a chance of being able to live on my own.  But if I want to get out of my parents’ home, I need to marry someone who can provide for me.  Why not let it be Jesse?  He could use a mother for his child, and you know how much I love Elliot.”

Amanda nodded.  “I know.  You’ve taken care of him since he was born.  It’s natural you grew attached to him.”

“I figure it’s something that benefits both us, and he agreed.  So we’ll be getting married.”

“It sounds like you gave this a lot of thought.”

Sensing there was something more her friend wanted to say, Laura asked, “But…?”

“Do you love Jesse?”

“No.  He doesn’t love me, either.  I think it’s safe to say we’re friends.  We get along well, and we both want to do what’s best for Elliot.  I think a marriage of convenience can be a good thing, don’t you?”

“Well, yes.  My marriage started out that way.  But since then, I learned there’s a difference between a marriage based on convenience and a marriage based on love.”

“Maybe Jesse and I will love each other someday.” Before Amanda could get the wrong idea, she amended, “Not the kind of love you and Richard have now.  I mean the kind of love friends share.  Even when you didn’t love Richard as a wife loves her husband, I could tell you loved him as a friend.  You two shared a special closeness even back then.  I bet you two could tell each other things you never tell anyone else.  Am I right?”

Amanda hesitated but nodded.  “Yes.  There’s no one else I’m closer to than him.”

“That’s what I mean about Jesse.  What we have is a cordial relationship, but I think it could lead to the kind of friendship you and Richard had.”

“Well, you’re the most perceptive person I’ve ever met.  If you believe this is the right decision, then I do, too.”

Laura relaxed and smiled.  “Thank you.”

“For what?” Her friend laughed.  “All I did was agree with you.”

“That’s exactly why I’m thanking you.  You aren’t trying to change my mind.  You’re letting me make this decision.”

“I can’t blame you for not wanting to marry a man your father’s age, and I can understand why you want your own home.” Amanda paused then, in a surprisingly expressive gesture, gave Laura a hug.  “If you need someone to talk to at any time, you can talk to me.”

Laura returned her hug.  “You’ve changed since I first met you.”

“Have I?”

Laura nodded.  “You’re more willing to open up to people.  It’s nice.”

“I don’t open up to people easily.  I never have.  I still don’t.  But in some ways, you remind me of Richard.  He never gave up on me, no matter what, and when I needed him, he was there.  In fact, if anyone ever needed anything, he was the first to offer help.  That’s what you did for Jesse when he needed someone to step in and help with Elliot.  Maybe this marriage will be the thing he needs as much as you do.”

“I know it will be.  He’ll finally have someone besides Mrs. Shaw to take care of Elliot.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Laura’s eyebrows furrowed.  “Then what did you mean?”

“I mean that you’ll be to Jesse what Richard was to me.”

Laura still wasn’t sure what Amanda could be referring to.  Hadn’t they already discussed how Laura wanted to be Jesse’s closest friend?

“Would you like some coffee?” Amanda asked.

Coffee was one of those things Laura’s parents refused to let her have, so Laura said she would.  It wasn’t that she hadn’t had coffee before.  There were times she had a cup while at Jesse’s.  But this time, she was going to drink it as a sign of her independence from her parents.  She was no longer a little girl.  They weren’t going to be able to tell her what to do anymore.  She’d marry Jesse and be an adult.  It would be nice to be the one in control of her life for a change.

***

“Boy, I hadn’t pegged you for stupid, but stupid is what you are,” Fanny told Jesse that evening as he fed the animals in the barn.

Jesse resisted the urge to whack her with his rake.  So many times he had the fantasy of doing it, but he managed to keep his emotions in check, which was no easy feat with the way she constantly nagged him.

“You should have let me take Elliot to my family,” Fanny continued with a huff as she went around him so he had no choice but to look at her.  “Elliot needs to be with Elsie’s kin.  You got no right to separate him from them.”

Irritated, he shoved the hay into the trough and then stuck the rake on the ground, just nearly missing her feet.  She jerked back, but the satisfaction of startling her only lasted for a few seconds.

“Why don’t you go on back to New York?” he snapped.  “I don’t want you here any more than you want to be here.”

She crossed her arms.  “I can’t very well go back there and leave poor Elliot with you and that whore.”

It took him a moment to realize she was talking about Laura.  “Whore?” Even for Fanny, this was outrageous.

“You can’t tell me you haven’t seen the way she’s been looking at you.”

“We’re not having this conversation.” Of all the people he’d ever talk to about a personal topic, she was the last on the list.  He pitched the last of the hay into the trough then turned to hang up the rake.  “Look, Laura’s going to be moving out here, whether you like it or not.  The decision isn’t yours.  You’re not my mother, and you’re not hers.  You have no say in this.  Your days of telling me what to do are over.”

“You didn’t listen to me when Elsie was alive.  If you had, we would have stayed back East.  She wouldn’t have had to endure that long trail while carrying Elliot, and she wouldn’t have gone into labor well before she was due.”

Ignoring her, he left the barn.  The woman persisted in blaming him for Elsie’s death, and God knew there were some days he felt the weight of guilt bearing down on him.  He should have waited until after Elliot was born to bring Elsie out here.  If he had, she’d still be alive.  But how was he to know she’d give birth so early?  The doctor had said she seemed well enough for the trip before they left, and Elsie had never murmured a word of complaint.

No one could have known things would play out the way they had.  Some things were beyond anyone’s control.  What he did know was that Elsie wouldn’t have blamed him for the way things turned out.  She’d always been happy, and her desire had been for others to be happy as well.

He went into the house and locked the door.  Never again would Fanny get in here without permission.  And never again would she bring in one of her kin to try to take Elliot from him.  He’d made sure to secure the house as soon as Burt left.  Elliot was the last thing of Elsie’s he had, and no one was going to take him away.

Jesse went to Elliot’s room to check on him.  On this particular night, he picked up the sleeping child from the crib, went to the rocking chair, and settled the boy in his arms.  Elliot let out a contented sigh and continued sleeping.  Jesse, in turn, rocked the chair in a slow rhythm, thinking that this probably did far more to soothe him than it did his son.

Sometimes when he held Elliot, it felt as if Elsie was right there beside him.  He knew what she would say.  She would tell him to do what was best for their son, and he knew the best thing to do was to give Elliot a kind and tenderhearted mother.

She wouldn’t want Elliot to grow up with the constant bickering between him and Fanny.  It wasn’t healthy for a child to be subjected to it all the time.  When Laura was here, things were much more manageable because Fanny would retreat to her own home.  Only then was there a sense of normalcy.

He kissed the top of Elliot’s head and then rested his cheek against the boy’s hair, still rocking in the chair, the gentle motions calming him from his confrontation with Fanny.  It would be nice to have Laura here to help with everything.

Soon Elliot would be walking and getting into everything.  Already, it was hard to keep him still while he held him unless he was asleep.  And Laura was right.  Jesse had to work.  He couldn’t watch Elliot all the time.  He needed good, reliable help.  Marrying her was the most sensible thing to do.  He only hoped he wasn’t confining her to something she’d later resent him for.

Chapter Three

“Laura, your father and I will not tolerate any more of your defiance,” her mother said from the doorway of Laura’s bedroom.  “You will come down and have dinner with Bernard this evening.”

Aggravated, Laura almost threw down the gown she’d been sewing.  It was only because the material was expensive that she was able to restrain herself.  “Mother, I am working on my wedding dress.  I will not marry Bernard, just as I won’t be marrying any of the other men you’ve brought for dinner over the past week.  I’m going to marry Jesse.”

Her mother’s lips formed a thin line.  “I have never seen such insolence in all my life!”

“I’m not trying to be insolent,” Laura argued for what had to be the hundredth time since she’d told her parents about her marriage agreement.  “I should have the right to choose my husband.”

“What if you’re making a horrible mistake?”

“Then it’s my mistake to make.” Before her mother could argue, she continued, “All of my life, I’ve done what you and Father asked of me.  I even left everyone I’ve ever known and loved back in Pennsylvania because you wanted me to come to Omaha with you.  This is the one time I’m doing something I want, and as a grown woman, I have the right to marry the man I choose.”

“Being out there at the Palmer farm hasn’t been good for your senses.  All you’ve learned is rebellion.  When I was your age, I never would have spoken to my parents this way.”

“But didn’t you want to marry Father?”

When her mother didn’t reply, Laura gathered the gown she was sewing and the basket holding her sewing supplies.  She put them on the bed and then went to grab her carpetbag.

Her mother gasped.  “What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving,” Laura said, her tone much bolder than she felt.  In fact, her hands trembled as she opened the carpetbag.

“I forbid you to leave,” her mother said in alarm, stepping toward her.

Laura forced her gaze to her mother’s.  “You can’t keep me here forever.  I’m growing up, and I have a right to make my own decisions.”

It was a shame she had to fight her parents so hard on this issue.  She hated arguing with anyone.  There was little she could do, however, to change their minds.  Sure, they didn’t approve.  Maybe they never would.  But that didn’t mean she had to live the kind of life they wanted for her.

“You’re going to give your father a heart attack by the way you’re behaving,” her mother said.  “Is that what you want?”

“No, I don’t want to hurt him.” Laura went over to her dresser and retrieved her undergarments.  “But I have to do what’s right for me.  I wish you would come around to accepting this.  I can’t stay here forever.”

“You should at least meet Bernard before you reject him.”

“I told you I’m not marrying anyone but Jesse!”

“You shouldn’t raise your tone when you’re talking to me.”

“I wouldn’t have to raise my tone if you weren’t so impossible.”

Her mother seemed as if she wanted to respond, but, for once, she was left speechless.  Laura took this as her opportunity to finish packing as fast as she could.  After she was done, she secured her bag and turned to grab her gown and basket.

“Please move aside so I may pass you,” Laura forced out despite the underlying shaky tone in her voice.

A long moment passed between them before her mother finally stepped aside.  Afraid she’d lose her nerve—and her ability to ever make her own decisions ever again—Laura hurried out of the room.  The entire way down the stairs, she expected her legs to give out from under her.  They felt so wobbly she thought she’d end up tumbling down the rest of the way.

But she made it to the front door, and just as she turned the knob on the front door, her father stomped into the entryway, muttering something under his breath about women taking forever to get ready for dinner.  When he saw her, he stopped and stared at her in shock.  Deciding to take this as her chance to get out of there, Laura swung the door open and hurried out of the house.

“Laura!  What do you think you’re doing?”

“Leaving home,” she called over her shoulder, hoping she wouldn’t trip over the edge of the gown that was hanging dangerously low over the basket.

“Laura?  Laura!” her father yelled.  “Where are you going?”

Laura decided not to respond.  Doing so would only slow her down, and if she was going to get out of there, she had to do it now.  If she stopped, if she turned back, it would be the biggest mistake of her life.  She would lose her freedom to choose anything else ever again.  This was her only chance.

And that was why she continued running.  She didn’t look back, nor did she slow down.  She made it several blocks from her parents’ home before she dared a look over her shoulder.  As she’d expected, her father had followed her.

She quickly dodged behind one of the buildings and raced down an alley, trying not to lose her balance as she jumped over a stray cat that darted in front of her.  By the time she made it to the other side, she glanced down the other side of the alley and saw that her father hadn’t followed her.

She darted around a building and went down another alley until she felt confident she had escaped.  Coming to a stop, she took a moment to catch her breath.

Afterwards, she tried to figure out where she should go.  Amanda and Richard’s was the obvious place, but her parents would expect that.  They’d also expect her to go to Jesse’s.  So it was in her best interest to avoid those.  What she needed was a place they wouldn’t expect.

But she had to make sure she’d be welcome there.  Too late did she consider whether her act of rebellion was too hasty.  Who was she kidding?  Of course, it was too hasty.  She should have known her parents would never stay quiet while she prepared for her wedding.  She should have realized they would do anything to stop her.  Having to sit through yet another evening with a man twice her age who was eyeing her like an object he was thinking of purchasing had been the final straw.

“Laura?” a woman called out.

For a moment, Laura thought it was her mother, but then she remembered her mother’s voice didn’t have that soft quality to it.

Laura turned in time to see Sally Larson waving at her.  From beside her, Sally’s mother pulled the buckboard wagon to a stop.

Laura couldn’t believe her luck.  She glanced heavenward, mouthed a “thank you”, and hurried over to them.  “I’m sure glad to find you in town.  I thought you lived in the country.”

“We do,” Mrs. Larson replied.  “We came into town to get some staple items from the mercantile.”

“Yes,” Sally added.  “It does no good to send men to buy food supplies.  They don’t have the slightest idea what to get.” Glancing at Laura’s carpetbag, she said, “I thought you weren’t marrying Jesse Palmer for another two weeks.”

“I’m not,” Laura replied.  “I…well…” Now that she was about to plead her case, her mind drew a blank.

“Are your parents giving you trouble?” Sally guessed.

“They aren’t trying to,” Laura said.  “I know they’re only trying to do what they think is in my best interest.”

“Richard told us Amanda asked him if you could stay with them while you wait for your wedding,” Sally informed her.  “We just saw him and Amanda after we left the mercantile.  But Laura, that apartment is small.  It barely fits the two of them.  Wouldn’t it be better if you stayed with us?”

Mrs. Larson’s eyes grew wide as she looked at her daughter.  “You do realize I should be the one to make the offer since I’m the head of the house.”

Sally snickered.  “I thought Pa was the head of the house.”

“That’s what we let him believe,” Mrs. Larson said with a chuckle.  “I don’t care what men say.  Women do the cleaning, the cooking, and the laundry.  The house is our domain.”

“God knows if we don’t do the cleaning, it’ll turn into a barn,” Sally agreed.  “Trust me, Laura.  You don’t want to smell that.”

Mrs. Larson got down from the wagon.  “You’re welcome to stay with us until the wedding.  We have plenty of room.  But, since I am a mother, we will have to let your parents know where you’re staying.”

Laura’s grip tightened on her things.  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.  They’re insistent I don’t marry Jesse.”

“Well, they have to know you’re safe,” Mrs. Larson argued.

“Have Richard tell them she’s somewhere safe.  He doesn’t have to say where she is,” Sally offered.

Mrs. Larson thought it over for a moment and nodded.  “Alright, we’ll have him tell them.”

“Thank you,” Laura told them as Mrs. Larson helped her put her things in the wagon.  “It’ll only be for two weeks.  After that, I won’t be in your way anymore.  And I’ll help out with all the chores.”

“Don’t say that in my brothers’ hearing,” Sally said.  “They’ll have you mucking out the stalls or milking the cows.” She shuddered.  “Believe me, you don’t want to do either of those.”

“Having a farm is your father’s dream, and he’s much happier than he was in New York,” Mrs. Larson replied.

“I’m happier in Nebraska, too,” Sally said, helping Laura onto the seat.  “But I’m not spending the rest of my life on a farm.  I’m going to find a man who’s living in town and marry him.” When Laura settled next to her, she whispered, “I don’t care what people say.  The air doesn’t smell good on a farm.”

Mrs. Larson got into the wagon and sighed.  “Please have a better attitude when you’re around your pa,” she told Sally.  “He saved up for years to do this, and I can’t remember a time when he’s been happier.”

“Your ability to hear the slightest of whispers is absolutely frightening, Ma,” Sally said.

“It comes from years of raising children.”

“I’ve been cheering nonstop about the farm when I’m around him.  You’d never know I miss living in town.”

“Keep it that way.  I don’t want anything to dampen his excitement.”

“I will.  I promise.” With a glance at Laura, Sally mouthed, “Ma is so demanding.”

Laura smiled but managed to hide her urge to giggle.  Whether Sally knew it or not, she and her mother had a wonderful relationship.  The two were more like friends than mother and daughter.  Laura wished she and her own mother had shared the same carefree relationship, but alas, they didn’t.  Her mother didn’t believe in joking around.  For her, everything was serious.

Mrs. Larson released the break and urged the horses forward.  “I need to stop by Amanda and Richard’s on the way out, but I won’t stay long.”

Laura nodded, praying neither one of her parents would be there at the same time they were.  She’d come so far in making her escape.  If anything stopped her at this point, she didn’t think she’d ever get another chance.

As it turned out, her worries were for nothing because her parents didn’t show up while Mrs. Larson talked to Richard and Amanda.  She, however, couldn’t bring herself to relax until they were out of town.  This might be a good sign.  Maybe it meant from here, everything would be smooth sailing.

Chapter Four

A week later, Jesse dreamt of heavy footsteps that resounded off the floorboards in a large, vacant house.  Fanny was searching for Elliot, stomping through hidden passageways that took her from one room to another.  The thing was more of a maze than a home.

“He’s mine,” Fanny was telling Jesse in his dream.  “I’m taking him, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” Then she lifted a rifle and pointed it at Jesse’s head.

Jesse bolted up in bed just as she pulled the trigger.  Someone was pounding on the front door.  He jumped out of bed and hurried to answer it.  If Elliot woke up, he’d have such a hard time getting back to sleep.

“Fanny, I don’t care what you say, he’s staying here,” he muttered under his breath.

The old coot had nagged him one too many times.  He was going to drag her back to her own house and tie her to the bed so he could get some peace for once.  He opened the door, surprised when he didn’t see Fanny on the other side.  Instead, he saw Laura’s father.

He blinked the sleep from his eyes to make sure it really wasn’t Fanny, and sure enough, it wasn’t.  “Mr. Rufus, what are you doing here?”

“Looking for my daughter,” he said, his expression dark.  “Is she here?”

“No.”

“You wouldn’t be lying to me, would you?”

“What?  No, of course, not.”

Her father brushed past him and came into the house.  “If you’re not lying, then you don’t mind if I check.”

“What is this about?” Jesse demanded, slowly overcoming his shock.

“This is about my daughter.  If you took her virtue before her time, I’ll take you out and shoot you.”

“If I what?” Was the man serious?

“Laura!” her father yelled.

“Shh!” Jesse glanced at Elliot’s closed bedroom door.  “My son’s asleep.”

“You’ll have more to worry about than your child if my daughter’s here.”

The man stormed into Jesse’s bedroom, his footsteps so loud there was no way Elliot could sleep through all of it.  And sure enough, Elliot started crying.

Gritting his teeth, Jesse hurried to Elliot’s room and picked him up.  What a day.  First, since Laura hadn’t come out, Fanny had to watch Elliot, and she’d made it a point to track Jesse down every time he made it to the barn.

Then she’d say things like, He’s too fussy today.  What’ve you been feeding him?  Or, Do you let him sleep in late?  He won’t take a nap.

He ended up taking Elliot with him after she complained he wouldn’t stop crying.  Laura rarely had problems with the boy.  Couldn’t the old coot see he preferred Laura to her?  Jesse hadn’t realized how much Elliot had grown attached to Laura until she hadn’t been able to make it to the farm.

Jesse had assumed she was busy getting ready for the wedding since he hadn’t heard from her.  They had agreed to marry in two weeks, and she had warned him she didn’t think she could come out during that time because of everything she needed to get together for the wedding.  At the time, two weeks hadn’t seemed like a long time, but after one week, it seemed like forever.  He honestly didn’t know how he’d manage through the second one.

Laura had become a bigger part of his life in a short time than he’d realized.

Her father stumped into Elliot’s bedroom, carrying a lit kerosene lamp in his hands.  “Where is she?” he barked.

Elliot jerked and broke into a fresh wave of tears.  “She’s not here,” Jesse snapped.  “Now, stop yelling.  You’re scaring my son.”

Her father glowered at him, the shadows flickering across his face making him look more like a devil than a man worried about his daughter’s virtue.  “She’s not with Amanda Larson.  That means she has to be here.  And when I find her, I’ll have your hide.”

By now, Jesse had had enough.  “She’s not here.  You can search through here all you want, but you won’t find her.  And when you don’t find her, I demand you give me an apology before you head on out of here.”

Her father stared at him for a moment and then scoffed.  “I’m not going to apologize to you.  You’re nothing but a boy.”

“I’m twenty-three.  I own this land and this house.  I have a son.   I have a horse, two cows, and a couple of hens.  That makes me a grown man.”

“I hear you had to take out a loan to pay for the lumber for this house.  Until you own everything free and clear, you’re a boy.”

The only reason Jesse had done that was to get Fanny to stop yapping at him about not having a suitable home for Elliot.  But it’d do no good to explain that to Laura’s father.  The man was determined to think the worst of him.

With a moan, Jesse put Elliot in the highchair and got a bottle ready for him while Laura’s father checked every nook and cranny in the place.  The man even checked in a closet that was much too small for a grown woman to hide.  Jesse rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything.  Some people couldn’t be reasoned with, especially if they were Fanny and Mr. Rufus.

By the time Jesse had Elliot’s bottle ready, Laura’s father stormed back into the kitchen.  “Where is she?”

Jesse gave the bottle to Elliot then turned to face him, not hiding his irritation.  “I told you she’s not here.  Now that you’ve seen it for yourself, you can get off my property.” Even if he didn’t technically own every single little thing on the place, it was still his land.

“Is she in the barn?  Or in the house where your mother-in-law is staying?”

“Go on and check.”

He narrowed his eyes at him.  “Don’t use that tone with me, boy.”

“I wouldn’t have to use that tone if you were reasonable.  She’s not here.  She’s not in the house, she’s not in the barn, she’s not at Fanny’s, she’s not on the horse, she’s not in the cookie jar, and she’s not on the roof.  She is nowhere on this land.  You will have to take your search elsewhere.”

Her father took a step toward him, and Jesse instinctively backed up.  “You listen to me,” her father said, pointing his finger in Jesse’s face.  “I’m her father, and I have every right to do what’s best for her.  You are not the best thing for her.  You’re a boy playing house, and you let your wife die giving birth to that baby over there.  On top of that, you’re in debt.  You aren’t ready for a family.  The only reason I can think that she’s insistent on marrying you is because you stole her innocence.”

Jesse’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.  “I never laid a hand on her.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Is that what she told you?”

“Of course not.  She wouldn’t dare say anything bad about you.”

Now his anger was returning.  “If she didn’t say it, then don’t assume it.” Shoving the man’s finger out of his face, Jesse glared at him.  “Get out of my house.  As I said, you can check the barn and Fanny’s house if you want, but you’re done here.”

Her father glared right back at him, and for a moment, Jesse thought he wasn’t going to leave.  But finally, mercifully, he spun on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him.

Jesse released his breath.  Why couldn’t he get a break?  It seemed that no matter what he did, he couldn’t get a break.  Maybe moving to Nebraska had been a mistake.  At the time he’d asked Elsie to leave New York, he’d thought the one-hundred and fifty acres would be a great place to raise a family, and he thought farming would lead to a stable job where he could better provide for them.

He had no idea Elsie would go into labor before they were due to arrive in Omaha, nor did he anticipate having to provide for his mother-in-law after Elsie died.  Then, as Laura’s father had pointed out, he’d needed to go into debt so he could appease the woman.

Life had turned out so differently from how he’d planned.  If he’d stayed in New York, Elsie wouldn’t have gone into labor early, she wouldn’t have died during childbirth, he wouldn’t be living with his mother-in-law, and he wouldn’t be in debt.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it hadn’t been God’s will for him to come out here.  Maybe he’d misunderstood his restless feeling.  For a year, he’d felt as if he was supposed to leave New York and make a life elsewhere.  Elsie had been all for it when he had asked her about it.  She’d looked at their new life in Omaha as an adventure.

They had stayed up late into the night making plans on the kind of home they’d have, what crops he’d grow, how they would take care of the animals, and imagining how nice it’d be for their child to be able to play outside rather than being stuck in an apartment all the time.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he turned to Elliot, who’d finished his bottle.  Though it was the two of them in the kitchen, the room felt empty.  The dreams he’d had of sitting at the table with Elsie and all of their children, eating one of her delicious meals while talking about their day, had vanished the moment Elsie took her last breath.  Now it was just him and Elliot, and poor Elliot wouldn’t have brothers and sisters like he’d thought.

Elliot threw the bottle to the floor and laughed.

Forcing himself to smile, Jesse picked it up, but Jesse didn’t put it back on his tray like he usually did.  Elliot’s favorite game was watching him retrieve things he dropped, but tonight, Jesse wasn’t in the mood for it.  “Sorry, Elliot.  I’m not playing the game tonight.  It’s too late.  We need to get back to sleep.”

Elliot laughed again and banged the tray, letting Jesse know he had no intention of going back to sleep, at least not any time soon.

With a sigh, Jesse rinsed the bottle then set it on the worktable to dry.  It was going to be a long night, and tomorrow, he would have to get up at dawn to do the job that was a lot more work than he’d expected when he left New York.  If Fanny claimed Elliot was too much to watch tomorrow, he didn’t know what he was going to do.  It was getting harder and harder to convince Elliot to stay by his side when he was doing his chores.

“Look,” he told the baby, “I need to sleep.  I don’t think Laura’s coming out tomorrow, and we both know how things are when your grandma watches you.  Do you think you can give me a break and lie quietly in the crib so I can sleep?”

Elliot giggled and banged the top of the tray.  Then he squealed in excitement and lifted his arms toward Jesse.

Just as Jesse feared.  Elliot wasn’t even remotely tired.  He had a mind to make Laura’s father watch him through the night and go to work tomorrow.  From the window, he saw the man leaving the barn.  Jesse shook his head.  Unbelievable.  Her father honestly thought Laura would be hiding out in the barn?

With a groan, Jesse took Elliot out of the highchair and went to the rocking chair in Elliot’s room.  Maybe, just maybe Elliot would sit in his arms while he rocked in the chair.  Sometimes Elliot would even fall asleep, thereby allowing Jesse to sleep sooner than he would otherwise.  Jesse settled into the chair and hummed a tune he hoped would make Elliot go to sleep.

Chapter Five

The next day, Laura barely ducked in time to miss the biscuit Joel flung at Tom at the dinner table.  She couldn’t believe it.  For an eight-year-old, Joel had a strong arm!  The biscuit landed right on Tom’s jaw and sent him tipping back in his chair.  If Laura hadn’t been sitting next to him, she wouldn’t have been able to straighten his chair in time, thereby stopping him from falling to the floor.  Who knew what mess he would have made if his feet hit the table?

“Joel!” Mrs. Larson gasped as she bolted to her feet.  “What is the meaning of this?”

“He was looking at me funny,” Joel said, pointing to Tom, who was rubbing his jaw and moaning in pain.

Sally glared at Joel.  “You threw food at him because he gave you a funny look?”

“He does it on purpose,” Joel argued, crossing his arms.  “He sits over there for every meal and looks at me as if I have something stuck between my teeth.”

Laura glanced from Joel to Tom. The two sat on opposite sides of the table and diagonally from each other. Sally had told her that their parents had chosen this particular arrangement because it meant the two couldn’t kick each other under the table or touch each other. But it seemed no matter where they placed them, the two brothers still found a way to get in trouble.

Mrs. Larson looked at Mr. Larson, silently begging him to help.

Mr. Larson placed his napkin on the table and gave both boys a pointed look.  “If you can’t sit at the table and eat the meal in peace, you can go to bed hungry.  Now, are you going to finish the rest of this dinner in peace, or are you done eating?”

“He started it,” Joel said.

“Did not,” Tom replied indignantly.

“Did, too,” Joel countered.

“I didn’t ask who started it,” Mr. Larson spoke up.  “This stops.  Now.”

After a moment, both boys relented and turned back to their meals.  Mrs. Larson relaxed and sat back down.

Sally shook her head.  “We’re sorry you had to witness this, Laura.  Brothers are the worst.  And you’d think since Tom’s sixteen, he’d know better.”

“Whoa,” Dave, the thirteen-year-old, piped up.  “I did nothing to get in trouble.”

Sally’s eyebrows rose in a way that meant to challenge him.  “You’re just as bad as Tom and Joel.  I’ve heard you competing with them in your burping and farting contests.”

Eleven-year-old Jenny gagged.  “I’m trying to eat.”

Sally smiled as if Jenny had just proven her point.  “See?  Jenny is disgusted by it because she’s a girl.  I swear, boys have no redeeming value at all.  Sometimes I think I’d be better off living my life as a spinster.  Who needs all this to deal with for the rest of her life?”

Mrs. Larson waved her fork at Sally.  “It seems to me you were prettying yourself up last Sunday in hopes Jimmy would notice you at church.”

“Ha!” Joel cried out and stuck his tongue out at his sister.

Sally’s face went red, but to her credit, she refused to admit she had a weakness for members of the opposite sex.  Instead, she said, “I’m no longer concerned about Jimmy.”

Joel smirked.  “Because he asked Annie if he could court her.”

“No,” Sally began.  “I got close to him and realized he smells awful.” She turned her gaze to Laura and added, “That’s another thing about living with a bunch of boys.  They never wash up, and they often wear the same clothes for days.  Sure, it saves on laundry, but it sometimes smells worse in here than it does in the barn.”

“That’s enough, Sally,” Mr. Larson said.  “You’re eighteen. You won’t be living here much longer.”

“You’re father’s right,” Mrs. Larson added.  “Whether you want to admit it or not, soon you’ll meet someone and fall in love with him, and then you’ll want to marry him and start a family of your own.”

“I can only hope he knows how to change his clothes and manages to keep his farts and burps to himself,” Sally muttered.

Mrs. Larson let out a heavy sigh, and Sally took that as a warning to stop complaining.

Laura found the whole thing fascinating.  She’d been an only child, so she had no idea what it was like for people who had brothers and sisters.  While the boys were definitely a source of frustration to Sally and, to a lesser extent, Jenny, Laura thought the family was a happy one.

Everyone felt free to voice their opinion, and even if others didn’t agree with it, there was still the underlying sense of love in the group.  Laura hadn’t realized such a thing was possible.  Too bad things weren’t the same in her family.

She wondered if she might have this kind of thing with Jesse.  Granted, she and Jesse weren’t marrying for love like Mr. and Mrs. Larson did.  Theirs would be a marriage in name only.  But she thought he was a good friend, and she felt they got along well enough to make a happy home for Elliot.  Elliot wouldn’t have brothers and sisters like the Larsons did, but she and Jesse would treat him differently than the way her parents had treated her.  And that right there was a big improvement.

From next to her, Tom crossed his eyes at Joel.  This, in turn, led to Joel pointing his finger at Tom and shrieking, “He’s doing it again!” in a pitch so high that only a young boy could manage it.

Laura’s ears rang, and she blinked back the tears filling up her eyes.  Thank goodness she was sitting next to Tom instead of Joel.  She could only imagine how much worse it’d be to have to deal with that shrill tone when it was directly in her ear.

“Both of you, out,” Mr. Larson told Tom and Joel.

Tom gasped.  “I didn’t even look at him.”

“I don’t care if you did or not,” Mr. Larson said.  “I’ve had it with you two.  It’s bad enough when you do it when it’s just us, but we have company.” He gestured to Laura.  “The least you could do is be on your best behavior for her sake.  Apologize to her then do your chores.”

Tom and Joel both apologized before leaving the room.  From there, the rest of the meal went along peacefully.

Afterwards, Laura helped Mrs. Larson, Sally, and Jenny clear the table and clean the dishes.  As she and Sally were finishing up with drying the plates, Sally continued to bemoan her lot in life.

“I’ll never understand why boys have to be so disgusting and rude,” Sally muttered.  “You’d think we could get through one meal—one meal!—without them doing something to spoil it.  But you can’t.  It’s impossible.  No matter how much you punish them, they keep doing it.” She shook her head and put a clean plate on the shelf.  Then she turned to face Laura.  “You’re so lucky.  You’re an only child.  You never had to go through this.”

Laura offered her a sympathetic smile.  “I didn’t mind Tom and Joel’s antics.  I thought it was funny.”

Sally grimaced.  “It was awful.  It’s always awful.”

Laura bit her tongue so she wouldn’t laugh.  Sally had a tendency to be a little dramatic about things, but to be fair, she did end up having to help her mother with the bulk of the work.

“I have an idea,” Sally said, picking up another plate and running the towel over it.  “Why don’t we go to Jesse’s tomorrow?”

“You’d be willing to do that?” Laura had wanted to ask, but she’d been afraid of imposing.  The Larsons had already been generous to her.  It didn’t seem fair to take more from them.

“You wouldn’t be imposing at all,” Sally assured her.  “I need an excuse to get out of here.  I can take you in the buggy after breakfast.”

“It would be nice to see Elliot.  I miss him.”

“You miss Jesse, too, don’t you?”

“Well…” Not really.  But did she dare tell Sally that?

“You’ll be Jesse’s wife.  Surely, you want to be with him.”

Laura glanced around the kitchen to make sure they were alone before she answered Sally.  “The truth is, it’s not that kind of marriage.” When Sally’s eyebrows furrowed, she clarified, “I mean, I’ll be his wife, but not in the romantic sense.”

“I don’t understand.  How does that work?”

“We’ll be sharing a house and raising Elliot together.  But that’s it.  We agreed it would only be a marriage of convenience.”

“Why?”

“For one, I adore Elliot.  He’s such a sweet boy.  I feel like I’m his mother.” Realizing she’d spoken out of turn, she quickly amended, “I don’t mean that I want to take Elsie’s place.  I’d never do that.  She’ll always be his mother.  I’d just like to have the honor of raising him.”

“I know what you meant,” Sally assured her.  “So I suppose what Jesse gets is a mother for his son.”

“Yes.  And he gets someone to help buffer him from the kind of things Mrs. Shaw does out there.”

Sally’s eyebrows furrowed.  “Is Mrs. Shaw still as irritable as she was on the wagon train?”

“I’m afraid so.  She still blames him for Elsie’s death, and I think because of that, things will never be good between them.  I’d like to help ease some of the tension out there.”

Sally bit her lower lip as she dried the plate in her hands.

Laura sensed she wanted to say something but was weighing the pros and cons of doing so.  “It’s alright.  You can tell me what’s on your mind.  I won’t get upset.”

Sally put the plate on top of the other ones and turned her gaze to her.  “Mrs. Shaw might resent you coming out to take Elsie’s place.”

“I’m not trying to take Elsie’s place.”

“I know that’s not your intention, but she might interpret things differently.”

Sally had a point.  A good one.  But…  “Jesse needs help raising Elliot, and Mrs. Shaw is too old to do a good job of it.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it.  She could barely manage to take care of him while we were coming to Omaha.” After a moment, Sally asked, “What about other men?  Is it a good idea to sacrifice a future with someone you can fall in love with?  I know you adore Elliot and all, but what about the possibility of having a man who loves you that you love back?” She lowered her voice.  “I might not be able to stand the things my brothers do, but I still want to get married and have children.  I want to experience love.  Are you sure you want to deny yourself that?”

Laura finally finished drying the dish in her hands then put it away.  Since they were now done with everything, she set the towel on the edge of a kitchen chair and turned to face Sally.

“There’s no one here to marry,” Laura admitted.  “My parents have been bringing over men my father comes in contact with, and they’re his age or older.”

Sally grimaced.  “Really?”

Laura nodded.  “My parents have been pushing me to get married.  They’re afraid I’ll end up a spinster, and to be honest, I don’t want to be one, either.  It was easy in Pennsylvania.  I had men to pick from who were my age.  But out here, they’re either too old or too young.  Amanda took the only brother you have that is close to my age.”

“Richard’s loved Amanda ever since they were in school together, so you would never have had a chance with him.”

“I suspected that was the case, even if it took Amanda time to return his feelings.”

“Well, I’ll take you out to Jesse’s tomorrow.  It’ll be a good way to get a break from my brothers, and you can plan your upcoming wedding.”

“Thank you, Sally.”

“I should be thanking you.  I’ll take any excuse to get that break.”

Excited about tomorrow, Laura went to work on her wedding dress.

Chapter Six

“Come on, Elliot,” Jesse said as the boy scooted over to the other stall in the barn.  Jesse groaned and peered around the cow he was milking.  “Elliot, get back over here!”

Elliot, however, was in no mood to listen to his father.  He grabbed the stall door and pulled himself to his feet.  The horse peered down at him, and Elliot laughed and reached up for it.  He lost his balance and fell on his bottom.

Jesse hurried to grab him before he could climb into the stall.  “You’re too quick for me, you know that?”

He searched the barn for something he could put Elliot in that would ensure the boy wouldn’t run off…or rather, scoot off.  If Elliot was already hard to take care of at ten months, how was he going to be when he was one?  Or two?  Or even three?  Just at what age did children stop getting into trouble?

His gaze went to the metal tub, but the last time he put Elliot in it, the boy had managed to climb out of it.   He couldn’t put him in the trunk either.  The trunk was full of his tools.  He caught sight of the ropes and reins he used for the horse.  Then he looked at one of the poles supporting the barn roof.  No, he couldn’t tie Elliot to the pole.  That seemed like a cruel thing to do to a child whose only crime was wanting to explore the world.

But, maybe he could put the rope around him and Elliot, thereby securing Elliot to his back.  If he did it just right, Elliot would hardly feel it.

The cow mooed impatiently for Jesse to finish milking her.

Jesse glanced from the cow to the rope.  It was either this or ask Fanny to help, and he’d rather not talk to her.  Just as he was about to head for the rope, he heard a buggy approaching.

His heart leapt in hope.  Maybe it was Laura.  Maybe she’d come out here to watch Elliot.

He hurried out of the barn, and thankfully, Laura was in the buggy with Sally Larson.  Sally pulled the buggy to a stop, and Laura hopped out and ran over to him.

With a wide smile, Laura looked at Elliot and tapped his nose in that playful way of hers.  “Did you miss me?” she asked the boy.

Elliot held his arms out to her, so Jesse let her hold him.  “I wasn’t sure you were going to come out until the wedding,” Jesse said.

“I know,” Laura replied, hugging Elliot and resting her head on top of his.  “I tried to get out here sooner, but my parents haven’t been making it easy.”

Jesse watched as Sally got out of the buggy.  “Your father came by here two nights ago.”

Her jaw dropped.  “He did what?”

“He thought you were staying here.”

“I went to Mr. and Mrs. Larson’s home.  They were kind enough to invite me over so I didn’t have to go back to my parents.  They aren’t happy with this marriage.”

He thought she was going to say more, but she returned her attention to Elliot and cooed at him.

Sally came over to them and smiled.  “You have a nice place here, Jesse.”

“Thanks.  I had some help from Joe.  You remember him?” Jesse asked.

Sally nodded.  “Who can forget the man who led us all the way to Omaha?”

“He does more than lead wagon trains,” Jesse said.  “He also builds houses and barns.  And he does a good job of it, too,” he added.

“You don’t mean he built these by himself, do you?” Sally asked, gesturing to the barn and two homes on the land.

“No,” Jesse said with a chuckle.  “If he could, he would.  I never met anyone with more ambition than him.  But he brought out a couple of men he knows, and they helped me build all of this.  I owe him one.”

“He sounds like he can do anything,” Sally replied, not hiding her surprise.  “If I were older, I might pursue him.”

Laura took her attention off of Elliot then shot Sally a teasing smile.  “You should have made your move while we were on the wagon train.”

Jesse blinked in surprise.  He couldn’t recall a time when he heard Laura joke about something.  But then, he supposed she hadn’t had a reason to joke out here.  Not with Fanny.  Not with him.

“I should have,” Sally said.  “But I was too busy chasing after my brothers so they’d behave.” She crossed her arms and sighed.  “I honestly don’t know what my mother would have done if I wasn’t a girl.  God knows a boy doesn’t do as much as a girl does.” She glanced at Jesse.  “I mean children, not adults like you.”

Laura chuckled and told Jesse, “If you ever eat at the Larson’s home, you’ll understand.”

“If you did anything at my home, you’d understand,” Sally corrected.  “Though I will say I dread mealtimes the most.  There’s no getting away from them when they’re at the dinner table.”

“I think I’ll skip the experience,” Jesse replied, his voice laced with humor.

“I’d skip it, too, if I could.” Sally glanced around the property.  “Where’s Mrs. Shaw?”

“Resting.” And he decided he’d leave it at that.

No sense in letting either woman know Fanny had spent the morning on his heels, pestering him about letting Laura come in to replace Elsie.  He had ignored her, and it turned out this method worked.  She quickly grew tired of being the only one talking, said her body ached, and then retreated to her one-room home.  If his good luck prevailed, then she wouldn’t come out here while Sally and Laura were visiting.

Sally gestured to the barn.  “Mind if check out your stallion?  Laura said he has the most beautiful brown coat she’s ever seen.”

“Sure,” he said and waved toward the barn entrance.

Sally thanked him and hurried into the barn.

Jesse suspected Sally was making up the excuse in order to let him and Laura talk in private, and he appreciated it.  He wanted to find out exactly what day they’d be marrying.

“I never told you how much I appreciate all you do for Elliot,” he told Laura.  “I didn’t even realize how much work you did until I had to spend an entire week without you.”

“My parents refused to let me come out here,” Laura said.  “Besides, I was working on the wedding dress.  I know it’s not a real marriage, but it’s the only wedding I’m ever going to have and I want it to be special.”

“It should be special.  Sometimes late at night, I think back to my wedding day with Elsie.  It’s one of the few memories that doesn’t depress me.”

There had been so much hope and anticipation on the wedding day.  Even given how much pain he’d endured after losing Elsie, he’d go through it all over again because of the good times they had shared together.

He looked at Elliot, who, in many ways, reminded him of Elsie.  As long as he had Elliot, a part of her would always be with him.  And it was a comfort to know Laura would be good to him.

“How much time do you need before you’re ready for the wedding?” he asked, his gaze returning to Laura.

“I should be ready next week,” she replied.  “I’m spending as much time as possible to get the dress ready.  Given how everything’s going with my parents, I was wondering if we could have the wedding at the Larson’s place.  If the weather’s nice, we can have it near the flowers Mrs. Larson planted.”

Considering how furious her father had been when he stormed into his house, he couldn’t blame her for wanting to have the wedding at a place her parents didn’t know about.  He’d rather not let the preacher know how many people didn’t want this marriage to happen.

“Sure, we can do that,” he told her.  And it was the least he could do for everything she’d done for him and Elliot over the past ten months.  “What day and time should I be there?”

“I talked to the preacher, and he said he’s free on either Wednesday or Thursday in the afternoon.”

“How about Wednesday at one?  That will give me enough time to make sure Elliot has something to eat for lunch.”

“Wednesday will be good.”

He breathed a sigh of relief.  Thankfully, he only had five more days to go.

“Have you and Elliot had lunch yet?” Laura asked.  “Sally and I thought we’d stay for a few hours.  You know, to give you time to do your chores and so I can spend some time with Elliot?”

“That would be great.” Really, she had no idea just how great that would be.

“I’ll tell Sally.  Then we’ll go to the kitchen and make something to eat.  I’ll ring the dinner bell when lunch is ready.”

“While you do that, I’ll catch up on some chores.”

With a smile, she headed into the barn to get Sally.

Now he knew exactly when he’d be getting married.  Again, he found himself excited about it, but this was all for different reasons than the first time he took a wife.

***

The next day, Laura asked Sally if she’d take her to Amanda’s, and Sally was more than happy to do it since it was the second day in a row she had a good excuse to be away from her brothers.  But in addition to that, Sally confessed she’d been curious about how Amanda and Richard were doing.

“We don’t get to see them as much as we’d like,” Sally told Laura as she pulled the buggy up to the apartment where Amanda and Richard lived.  “Richard works long hours, and he even works weekends.  It’s not all that different from the amount of time my father and brothers spend farming.  Well, that is, when they’re not trying to get out of their chores.  Joel is the worst of them all.  I can’t count how many times he mysteriously disappeared or got Tom to chase after him.  So really, Dave’s the only one who sticks to the chores.”

“Except when he’s not competing with his brothers on who can fart and burp the loudest, right?” Laura joked.

Sally giggled as she set the brake.  “Right.  And not only do they want to see who farts the loudest; they want to see who can make the fart that smells the worst.”

Laura’s nose wrinkled in disgust.  “That’s awful.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying.  Brothers are the worst.  I hope I have a girl.  I don’t think I could handle it if I have a boy.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Laura said as she climbed out of the buggy with Sally.  “Elliot’s so sweet.  I can’t imagine him any other way than how he is.”

“He’s a baby.  All babies are sweet.  Just wait until he’s older and he thinks burps and farts are funny.”

Even if he did, Laura didn’t think she’d mind it all that much, but she chose to keep quiet on the matter.

The two went up the stairs of the apartment until they reached Richard and Amanda’s door.

Sally knocked on it and clasped her hands behind her back.  “When’s the last time you saw them?”

“About a week ago.  But Richard wasn’t here.  I only saw Amanda.  She was trying to figure out how much Richard could afford to spend for the rest of the month.”

“I heard she took over the bookkeeping in his business.”

“Yes, and she’s good at it.  I don’t think I could manage all the paperwork she does.  She has a gift for it.”

“Richard said she’s smarter than most women, but I think he’s biased since he loves her.”

“As long as he knows how to change his clothes and doesn’t burp or fart around her, we’ll forgive his bias.”

Sally giggled.

The door opened, and Richard asked, “What’s this about burping and farting?”

Sally turned to him.  “You know how your brothers are.  We were just hoping you didn’t do those disgusting things when you’re with Amanda.” She shot him a pointed look.  “Because if I find out you are, I’ll tell her about that time when you were eight and—”

“I never do any of that with her,” Richard interrupted, giving her a look that insisted she stop at once.

Laura’s eyebrows rose in interest.  What could he have done at eight that would make his face turn bright red?

“I love Amanda,” he continued.  “I’d never act like Tom and Joel around her.”

“And David,” Sally argued.

“Dave doesn’t do that,” Richard replied.

“He does, too.”

Richard shook his head and gestured for them to enter the apartment.  “Dave’s boring.  He doesn’t do anything that’s even remotely human.”

“Why doesn’t anyone believe me?” Sally sulked.  “I’m telling you, he’s just as gross and disgusting as Tom and Joel.”

“Alright.  He does.” Though Richard agreed with her in his words, his tone indicated otherwise.

Smiling at Sally in hopes of easing her frustration, Laura entered the apartment.  At once, she saw Amanda at the small kitchen table, and Amanda was working over a ledger in front of her.

“It seems every time I come over here, you’re working,” Laura told Amanda as she went over to her.

Amanda looked up from the ledger and smiled.  “It’s a labor of love.”

Laura glanced at the columns and the numbers written in them.  Amanda really enjoyed this kind of thing?  Forget about Dave being boring.  This was boring.

“Amanda does a terrific job at handling the bookkeeping,” Richard said as he shut the door.  He went over to them and rubbed Amanda’s shoulders.  “Thanks to her, I can focus on building houses.”

“That’s good,” Laura replied.  “You two have the perfect marriage.  One complements the other so well.  Don’t you think they’re perfect together?” Laura asked, turning to face Sally, who sat on the couch close by.

Sally waved her hand dismissively at Laura.  “Richard’s been in love with Amanda ever since they were little.  Eight, to be exact.” Sally wiggled her eyebrows at Laura.

“Did you come over to talk about me, or is there something more interesting going on?” Richard asked, not hiding the irritation in his tone.

Sally smirked at him.  “Sometimes, you’re too much like Tom.  I can see why Joel likes to annoy him so much.”

When Richard groaned, Amanda put her pencil down and rose to her feet.  “Would you like anything to drink?” she asked Laura and Sally.  “I have some coffee already made.”

“No thanks,” Sally said.  “I can’t stand the taste.”

“You can have some water,” Amanda replied.

“Alright, I’ll have that,” Sally agreed.

Amanda glanced at Laura, so Laura said, “Coffee will be fine.”

“You really like coffee?  All of you?” Sally asked as Amanda poured three cups.

“It keeps us awake when you’re over,” Richard quipped.  “Otherwise, we’d fall asleep.”

She gasped.  “I’m not boring.”

“You and Dave have a lot in common,” he replied.

Laura accepted the cup of coffee Amanda handed her and watched as Amanda gave Sally a glass of water.  Sally and Amanda exchanged grins that told Laura even though Sally gave Richard a hard time, the two women were happy to be sisters-in-law.

Richard grabbed his cup and sat at the kitchen chair.  “Laura, did you know your father’s been by here every day for the past week, asking us where you are?  We were beginning to think you disappeared.”

“That, or eloped,” Amanda said.  She sat on the couch and gestured for Laura to do the same.

Laura did, settling between Amanda and Sally, and shook her head.  “I didn’t elope.  I’ve been staying with your in-laws while I finish getting the dress ready for my wedding.”

“So that’s where you went,” Amanda replied.  “We were wondering.”

“What have you been telling my father?” Laura asked.

“The truth.  We had no idea where you were,” Amanda said.

Laura bit her lower lip then asked, “What will you tell him next time he comes by?”

Richard was the one who answered.  “We’ll tell him it’s time he stopped asking questions.  When you’re ready to talk to him, you will.  In the meantime, it’s enough to know you’re safe.”

Laura thought that was a good answer.  “I like it, but I doubt it’ll do any good.  When my parents are insistent about something, it’s hard to stop them.”

“Are you still going to marry Jesse, or have you changed your mind?” Amanda asked.

“Oh, I’m still marrying him,” Laura said.  “Sally took me over to see him, and when Elliot saw me, he was so happy.  He held his arms out to me and gave me the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face.  I can’t think of any other child I want to be a mother to than him.”

“You’re doing this because you want to be with Jesse, too, aren’t you?” Richard asked.

Laura took a sip of the coffee.  Why did everyone keep asking her that?  “Well, sure.  I mean, we get along fine.  He’s Elliot’s father, and we want what’s best for Elliot.”

Richard didn’t seem particularly pleased by her answer, but she didn’t know what else to tell him.  It was the truth.  Besides, hadn’t he married Amanda under the pretense of having a marriage of convenience?

“You can set your mind at ease,” Sally told Richard.  “Laura and Jesse get along very well.  They’re good friends, just like you and Amanda were.”

“Right,” Laura agreed.  “There’s nothing wrong with marrying a friend, is there?”

Amanda gave her an understanding smile.  “No, there’s not.  I don’t think Richard would argue with you on that.  When is the wedding?  Richard and I would like to be there.”

“Would you really?” Laura asked.

“Sure,” Amanda replied.  “Why is that so surprising?”

Laura shrugged.  “I thought maybe you’d be busy with your work or maybe the wedding would be boring to you.”

“Laura, you’re our friend.  We want to be there to see you get married.”

“You’re in luck,” Sally spoke up before Laura could respond.  “She and Jesse will be marrying at a very familiar place.” She waited until she had Amanda and Richard’s attention before adding, “They’ll be getting married at my parents’ home!”

“I was hoping for a nice church wedding,” Laura added.  “But when my parents started making things difficult, I figured it’d be best to do a private ceremony.  I’m afraid they’ll try to stop the wedding if they know.  You won’t say anything to anyone, will you?” She glanced from Amanda to Richard.

“No, we won’t,” Amanda promised.  “Your secret is safe with us, and we’ll be happy to attend the wedding, won’t we, Richard?”

All eyes turned to Richard, and he seemed surprised to have everyone’s attention.  Sitting up in his chair, he nodded.  “Sure.  I’m looking forward to it.”

Laura didn’t know how true that was.  It seemed like weddings were more of a woman’s thing, but she guessed he was going because Amanda wanted to be there.  And that suited her well enough.

“Will you be my matron of honor?” Laura asked Amanda.

Amanda smiled.  “I’d love to.”

On impulse, Laura hugged Amanda, glad she’d agreed to it.  Sometimes it was hard to tell what Amanda was willing to do.  In many ways, Amanda still struck her as a mystery.  She kept so much to herself.  But at least she was a faithful friend.  No one could ask any more than that.  And it was nice to know Amanda would be with her when she said her vows.

Chapter Seven

“What have you been feeding him?” Fanny demanded a couple days later as she stormed into the barn.

Jesse waited until he was done digging dirt out of the mare’s horseshoe before he glanced up.  She had Elliot on her hip, and since Elliot was smiling and babbling, he had no idea why she was upset this time.

“I’ve been giving him goat’s milk,” he told her then turned his attention back to the horse’s hoof and started digging out a couple of small rocks stuck in the horseshoe.

“You can’t do that,” she said.  “I already told you that many times, but you never listen.”

“Goat’s milk doesn’t give him diarrhea,” he argued, not bothering to look back at her.  “It’s the soup you insist on making.” That recipe was so spicy he was surprised Elliot even ate it.

“He doesn’t have diarrhea.”

“Then why are you complaining?”

“I told you he’s too old for the bottle.  He needs to be on real food.  You need to mash up some of those carrots you got growing in the garden.”

“I just planted them.  They aren’t ready yet.” Good grief, but the woman didn’t pay attention to anything he did around the place.

“Can’t you make them grow faster?”

He shot her a pointed look.  “Can you make it so that tomorrow is July?”

She gave him a blank stare.

“They won’t be ready until July,” he said, not hiding his frustration from his voice.  “Vegetables don’t just pop up out of the ground overnight.  They take time.  You can’t rush them.”

“Humph,” she grunted.  “With the way you do things, Elliot will still be on the bottle when he’s five.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he muttered.  Why was he even wasting his time with her?  “You won’t have to worry about how incompetent I am after tomorrow.  Laura will be here, and then she’ll make sure he’s eating correctly.  Now, go on back to the house I built for you and leave me alone.”

“Are you really going to marry that woman?”

“Her name is Laura, and yes.  I have to.  It’s the only way I’ll get you off my back.”

“What you’re doing isn’t right.  You can’t replace Elsie.”

“I’m not trying to replace her.  I’m giving you help when you need it.  You’d think after all the bellyaching you do about your hands hurting and getting tired all the time, you’d be thanking me for bringing her out here to live with us.”

“I tolerated her coming out here to watch him a couple times during the week because I agreed we need her help,” Fanny told him.  “But never once did I think you’d marry her.  She’s not Elliot’s mother.”

“She’s well aware of that.” He went to the last hoof he needed to clean and lifted it.  “Elsie isn’t here, and we need the help.  We’d both be better off if that help didn’t leave after a few hours.  Elliot’s getting older.  He’s not as willing to sit and watch things anymore.  He wants to move around and explore the world.  You can’t stop him from growing up.”

“Well, she can’t take Elsie’s place.”

Before he could reply, a horse’s neigh from outside the barn caught his attention.  He let the hoof down and went to the doorway so he could see who’d be coming onto his property.  He didn’t get many visitors, which made him wonder if it might be Laura.  But it wasn’t.  It was her father.

Hiding his disappointment, he stepped outside the barn and crossed his arms.  If this was going to be as unpleasant as the last time he dealt with her father, he was already too tired to deal with it.

From next to him, he heard Elliot give out a happy squeal.  He glanced over and saw Fanny.  He rolled his eyes.  What would it take for the woman to mind her own business?

Mr. Rufus pulled the steed to a stop a few feet from him and slid off the animal.  “I have a hunch you know where my daughter is, but you’re so stubborn you won’t tell me,” he told Jesse, not even bothering with a polite hello.

“How would we know where she is?” Fanny snapped.  “She comes and goes as she pleases.  It’s hard to say if she’ll even stick around after the wedding tomorrow.”

Jesse shot her a pointed look, willing her to shut up.  The less her father knew, the better.

“Good,” her father said.  “Then the damage hasn’t happened yet.”

Damage?  Is that what her father thought?  That Laura marrying him would be damaging to her?  “What did I ever do to make you hate me?” Jesse asked.

“I don’t hate you,” her father replied.  “I just want what’s best for my daughter.”

“And I’m not it,” Jesse filled in for him.

“I could have told you that,” Fanny said.  “The two of you don’t belong together.”

“Exactly,” her father agreed.  “This is a bad match.  Laura doesn’t need to be tied down with a child who isn’t hers or a cranky old lady who makes everyone miserable.”

“Well, I never!” Fanny huffed and lifted her chin high in the air.

Alright.  Now, that was funny.  As much as Jesse didn’t care for Laura’s father, he had to admit he enjoyed watching him offend Fanny.

“I come to you as a father with the utmost concern for his daughter,” her father continued.  “How much will it take for you to end this ridiculous engagement to my daughter?”

“What?” Jesse asked, sure he hadn’t heard the man right.  Her father couldn’t be saying what he thought he was saying.  Could he?

“I know you owe money on those houses and this barn,” her father said.  “Farming’s harder than you think it’s going to be.  I’ve heard stories of hail and locusts destroying crops.  And if tornadoes aren’t knocking things down, the strong winds can do damage.  Things have been good up to now, but you haven’t even been here for a full year.”

Jesse frowned.  “Do you really think I’m going to fail out here?”

“All it takes is one bad year and everything will fall apart.”

“He’s right,” Fanny agreed.  “You don’t know what you’re doing, either.  If you did, we’d already have carrots.”

Ignoring her, Jesse told him, “I can make it out here.  You think when things get tough, I give up?  Look at her.” He pointed to Fanny.  “If I can tolerate living on the same land as her, I can get through anything.”

“Well!” she protested.

“Fine,” Laura’s father said.  “Let’s say you don’t have a bad year with the crops.  Let’s say everything goes better than I think it will.  You still have debt, and debt is like a noose around your neck.  It might not squeeze the life out of you today.  You’re too young and foolish to be concerned about it.  But mark my words, you took on too much too soon, and one of these days, you’re going to feel that noose tighten around your neck until you can’t breathe.  Now, I’m here to offer you money to pay everything off.  You can own it all free and clear.”

“And in return you won’t let me marry your daughter,” Jesse guessed.

“Yes.  That’s all you have to do.  It’ll be the easiest agreement you’ll ever make.”

“Do it,” Fanny told Jesse.

“No,” Jesse told her.

“Why not?” she asked.  “It’s the perfect solution to your problems.  I heard you moaning and groaning about the debt the other day.  You can’t guarantee you’ll bring in enough crops to cover even a small portion of it.”

Jesse turned to face her.  “It’s because of you I’m in debt.  My original plan was to build sod houses and a sod barn.  But you insisted on having lumber for everything, and lumber isn’t cheap.”

She gasped.  “You can’t blame that on me.”

“I can when you threaten to take Elliot from me if I don’t give him the kind of home you think he needs to have.” He turned back to her father.  “I’m marrying Laura.”

“This is nonsense.  You don’t even love her,” her father argued.

“No, but I value all she does out here,” Jesse replied.

“You only want her because it’s convenient for you,” her father said.

“I also enjoy her company,” Jesse pointed out.  “And what’s more, she wants to be here.  She’s the one who suggested marriage.  After she explained her reasons, I thought she had good points and agreed to the arrangement.”

It was on the tip of Jesse’s tongue to tell him how unhappy Laura was with what he and her mother had been putting her through, but he decided against it.  For one, the man probably wouldn’t believe him.  And two, he couldn’t bring himself to say it.  Yes, he had no trouble telling Fanny what he thought of her, but she’d worn him down in the three years he’d known her.

Her father’s face turned red, and Jesse sensed it took all of the man’s willpower not to punch him.  Finally, after what seemed like an abnormally long time, he shoved his finger in Jesse’s face and said, “If you go through with this marriage, I’ll make you pay for it.”

Jesse swatted his hand away.  “You don’t scare me.”

After a long, tense moment, her father headed back to his horse.

“Why are you making things harder on yourself than you need to?” Fanny hissed.  “That girl is a liability.  She’s going to get you in trouble.”

“No, she won’t.  She’s not the problem around here.”

Before she could say anything else, he stormed back into the barn.  Of the people he knew in this town, Laura was one of the few who made his life better.  There was no way he was going to give that up.  He’d stood up to Fanny all this time.  He could stand up to Laura’s father, too.

“Just let him try to break me,” Jesse muttered.

After all he’d been through, he couldn’t imagine how much more difficult life could possibly get.  Mr. Rufus had no idea who he was dealing with.  No idea at all.

***

No matter how hard she tried, Laura couldn’t stop fussing with the lace on her white dress.  She glanced at Jenny, who was holding some wildflowers as she waited in the parlor with Laura.

“I know lace is impractical,” Laura said.  “After today, I plan to remove it from this dress.  And then I think I’ll add some color to it.  White clothing gets dirty so easily, but it’s such a beautiful color for a bride.  I saw my aunt marry, and she had a white dress on.  At first, I thought she was an angel.” She giggled.  “I was only eight at the time.”

Jenny smiled and went over to her so she could touch the dress.  “The lace is pretty.  It makes the dress romantic.”

“That’s what I thought when I was making it.”

It was silly.  The marriage was not going to be the least bit romantic.  But she’d always dreamt of a romantic wedding, like the kind her aunt had, and she saw no harm in at least having a special day.  Didn’t every woman deserve a day where her fairytales could come true?

“I like the look of the dress,” Jenny told her.  “You used a simple style, but the lace makes it look like it was difficult.”

“It was a trick I learned a couple years ago when I sewed with some relatives.”

“You were lucky.  No one in my family likes to sew.  Ma does it because she has to, but she doesn’t enjoy it.”

“You like to sew?”

Jenny nodded.  “I like exploring different ways of making things.  I made an apron and am now working on a skirt.”

A knock on the door interrupted them, and Laura went to answer it.

Sally stood on the other side, holding two bouquets of wildflowers.  “Everyone’s ready,” Sally said and held out one of the bouquets to Laura.  “This is for you.”

“Thank you,” Laura replied and took it.

Now that the moment was here, Laura realized she was nervous.  Up to now, she’d been so caught up in the fantasy of getting married that the reality of it hadn’t sunk in.

“I didn’t realize how handsome Jesse is,” Sally said.

“Oh?”

Laura hadn’t even thought of the way he’d dress for the day.  She stepped onto the porch, followed by Jenny.  She scanned the Larsons but didn’t see him.  It didn’t help that Tom and Joel were running around, distracting her.

Sally shut the door and said, “He’s next to my father.  At the moment, he’s talking to the preacher.  His back is turned toward us.  He’s wearing the dark blue suit.”

It was then Laura’s gaze settled on him.  As Sally had warned her, his back was turned to her, so she wasn’t able to get a good look at him.  But she did see Elliot.  Mrs. Larson was holding him and seemed content to fuss over him.

“Let me tell them you’re ready,” Sally said.

She proceeded to hop down the porch steps and ran over to the group.

“Sally likes to tell people what to do,” Jenny joked.

Laura grinned.  “That’s probably a result of having to watch over you and her brothers so much.”

“We call her bossy from time to time,” Jenny replied.

“I’m sure she seems that way to you and your brothers, but I don’t think she means to be that way.”

Sally clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention and started telling them where to stand.

“Or maybe she just enjoys being a leader,” Laura amended.  “Some might say she’s bossy.  Others might argue she takes control and gets things done.”

“She’s bossy,” Jenny said as if the matter was easy to settle.

“But she doesn’t mean any harm in it.  She’s trying to help.”

Jenny sighed but didn’t argue with her.

After Sally had everyone standing where she wanted them, she took her father by the arm and led him over to Laura.  Laura didn’t bother looking at Jenny.  If she did, she’d probably see Jenny rolling her eyes, and right now, that would make her burst out laughing.

From the lawn, Amanda left Richard and followed Sally and Mr. Larson.  Laura smiled, glad her dearest friend would be with her on this special day.

When they reached them, Sally waved Laura to her father.  “You hold onto his arm.  Jenny will go first, I’ll follow, then Amanda will go, and you two will be last.  Ready, Jenny?”

“Yes, sir,” Jenny replied and gave a mock salute before she headed down the porch steps and headed toward the preacher.

“Slow down,” Sally called out.  “You need to walk with grace.  This is a special day.”

Jenny didn’t hide her sigh, but she slowed her steps.

Laura bit her tongue so she wouldn’t laugh.  However, next to her, Sally’s father was chuckling.

Sally shot him a pointed look, imploring him to stop, and then turned to follow Jenny.  Amanda, in turn, shot Laura a smile before going after Sally.

A few seconds passed then Mr. Larson said, “I suppose it’s safe to go now.”

“As long as we don’t walk too fast, we should be alright with the commander,” Laura whispered.

She couldn’t help it.  The joke was too good to pass up.  And Mr. Larson laughed, so she figured it was well worth saying.  Together, they headed for Jesse and the preacher.

Chapter Eight

As Jesse watched Mr. Larson bring Laura toward him and the preacher, his mind unwittingly went back to his wedding with Elsie.  Her father hadn’t been able to take her down the church aisle, but her brother had.  The whole time he watched her, he couldn’t help thinking she was so beautiful and sweet.  He had to keep pinching himself to remind himself he wasn’t dreaming.

There had been so many things he’d been looking forward to when he took Elsie as his wife.  On her way down the aisle, their life had flashed before him in a span of seconds.  They were going to have a home in Nebraska.  They were going to sit on the porch and enjoy the sunset after a long day of work.  They were going to have children, and eventually, grandchildren.  Then, after a long, full life, they were going to die together and would be joined, once again, on the other side.

But that vision hadn’t come to fruition.  Instead, he’d had to watch her die after she labored almost a full day on the wagon trail.  He’d begged her not to go, pleading with her to do anything she could to hold on.  She’d said she was sorry, but she couldn’t, that she knew it was her time.  She’d said the heavens were open and she was being welcomed home.

“I love you, Jesse,” she’d whispered.  “I’d do it all again to be with you.”

Then she’d let out the final push and Elliot was born.  Laura had been there to deliver him, and though Laura had hurried to show him to Elsie, Elsie barely had time to hold him before the life left her eyes.

Jesse swallowed.  He hadn’t realized this wedding would remind him of all he’d lost.  So many things were the same.  People were there to witness the event.  The preacher stood beside him.  He was dressed in his Sunday suit.  The bride coming to him was both beautiful and sweet.  Except she wasn’t Elsie.  He’d never get Elsie back.  He swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked back the tears.  Now wasn’t the time to give into grief.  This was the day Laura had been dreaming about, and the least he could do was let her get the most out of it.

Once he steadied his emotions, he made eye contact with her and smiled.  Despite what she’d said about her parents trying to match her up with undesirable bachelors, he knew she was sacrificing a lot to be with him and Elliot.

When Mr. Larson and Laura reached him and the preacher, Mr. Larson placed Laura’s hand in Jesse’s.  Jesse had to force aside the sudden sting of betrayal.  Elsie wouldn’t want him to feel guilty for taking another wife.  She’d understand why he did it.  But he couldn’t help the sting of guilt all the same.  Elsie had only been gone for ten months.  Almost eleven now.

He released his breath and reminded himself this was Laura’s day.  He could dwell on his conflicting emotions later, preferably when he was alone.

The preacher gave the all-too-familiar spiel that Jesse had heard only three years ago.  Jesse had to tune the words out.  Yes, he managed to say “I do” at the appropriate times, but he felt a great disconnect between himself and the events playing out around him.  It was as if he was an impartial observer.  He was watching everything, but he wasn’t really a part of it.

He had no idea this wedding was going to be so difficult to get through.  And that wasn’t fair to Laura.  He should be here for her, fully in the moment.  But no matter how much he willed it, he just couldn’t.  Something in him was blocking him.  He only prayed no one noticed.  He hoped the smile and calm voice that recited the vows masked what he was truly feeling.

He had no ring to give her.  There was no way he could afford one.  But she didn’t seem to mind.

“I don’t need a ring,” Laura told him and the preacher.  “There’s more to a marriage than something you slip on the finger.”

The preacher seemed content with her answer and said, “Jesse, you may kiss your bride.”

Jesse might not have a ring, but he could kiss her.  And he did, trying not to think it was wrong to kiss someone besides Elsie.  No.  It wasn’t wrong.  Elsie was no longer alive.  But what he logically knew and what he felt were two different things, and he chose to pretend the kiss wasn’t for a woman he’d just married.  It was the only way he could get through it without wanting to cry.

“Everyone, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Jesse Palmer,” the preacher announced.  “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

And so the deed was done.  While the people clapped and came over to congratulate them, he forced more smiles and thanked them.  From beside him, Laura seemed caught up in the spirit of the day.  That was good.  That meant she was happy, and he wanted her to be happy.

She was giving up her future to help him raise Elliot.  It wasn’t something she had to do, but it was something she was willing to do.  He had a feeling he wouldn’t ever be able to pay her back for all she was doing for him, but he’d do his best.  And this wedding was just the first of many things he’d try to do to return the favor she was doing for him.

***

Laura watched as Mr. Larson put her things in the back of Jesse’s wagon.  Up to now, the marriage had only seemed like an idea.  It didn’t occur to her this was real until she was ready to go to Jesse’s home.  His home was now her home.  She was going there to stay.  She wouldn’t be leaving after a few hours and returning to her parents.  She was now a married woman with a child and a husband to care for.  The sudden weight of her new responsibility hit her with full force, and she didn’t know how to cope with it.

Elliot pulled on her hair, providing a much-needed distraction from the direction her thoughts were going.  With a smile, she turned her gaze to the baby in her arms and gently took his hand away from her hair.

“I’ll need to keep my hair up from now on,” she teased.  “You’re stronger than you look.”

“Mama,” he replied.

Touched, she kissed him on the forehead.  He just called her Mama!  She’d only been dreaming of this moment, but now he’d actually done it.

Then, in the next moment, the spell was broken for he reached for her hair again.

She took his hand and held it.  “Oh no.  You can’t call me Mama and get away with grabbing my hair.  I won’t allow it.”

He looked at her, seeming as if he didn’t believe her.

“I’m being serious,” she said, though she felt her smile widen.  “You have a way of charming people, and you’re only ten months old.  I hate to see what you’ll be like when you’re older.”

He only giggled.

“I can tell you’re going to give me trouble,” she mused.

“I know I said it before, but I hope this marriage will be everything you hope it’ll be,” came Amanda’s familiar voice from behind her.

Laura turned around as her friend approached her.  “I think it will.  All I want is to be a mother to Elliot, and as you can see,” she nodded toward the boy, “he seems more than happy to let me be that for him.”

“I know things will go well for you and Elliot,” Amanda replied, lowering her voice.  “I just hope the rest of it will go well for you.”

“You mean Mrs. Shaw?”

“And Jesse.”

“Well, Jesse and I have an understanding of what this marriage will be.  As for Mrs. Shaw,” Laura shrugged, “I don’t know what can be done about her.  I’m already prepared for the fuss she’ll put up.  She thinks I’m going to take Elsie’s place.  Only time will prove I’m not going to do that.  Elliot will grow up knowing about his real mother.”

“I have no doubt you’ll encourage Elliot to learn everything he can about Elsie.  It’s not in your nature to withhold that kind of information from a child.”

“I just hope I can be the kind of mother Elsie would want for him.  She was a nice person.”

“I’m sure she was.  I never talked to her.”

“I did a couple of times.  I didn’t get to know her as well as I got to know you, but I had a feeling about her.  I think if she had lived, we would all be friends right now.”

Amanda nodded as if to say Laura might be right, but Jesse came over to them.  “Are you ready to go?” he asked Laura.

“Yes, I’m ready.” As ready as she would ever be anyway.  She took a deep breath.  This was it.  The start of her new life.

To her surprise, Amanda gave her a hug.  For a moment, Laura could only stand there.  It was so unlike Amanda to do anything to show she cared about someone.  Once Laura was able to overcome her shock, she returned the hug.

“Just remember it’s alright to think of yourself once in a while,” Amanda whispered.

What a silly thing for Amanda to say.  She was marrying Jesse for herself.

After Amanda released her, Jesse helped Laura into the wagon, and the others gathered around the wagon to congratulate Jesse and Laura on their marriage.  Laura thanked them again and waved her good-byes as Jesse led the wagon off the Larson’s property.

Once they were off the land, Laura turned her attention to Elliot and saw that his gaze was on the horizon.  “Those are hills out there in the distance,” she told him, pointing to them.  She glanced at Jesse.  “Has he seen the sunset yet from the porch of your house?” She almost amended her question since it was her house, too, but he answered before she could.

“I’m too busy taking care of the animals in the evening to sit with him on the porch.”

“In that case, I’ll have to do that with him.” She smiled at Elliot.  “The sunsets are much better out here.  Back in Pennsylvania, I lived in an apartment, and all around me were other buildings.  But out here, you can see the land in all directions for miles, and that makes for the most beautiful sunsets you can imagine.  You’re lucky you get to grow up surrounded by so much beauty.  Even the stars at night seem brighter.”

“You really like it out here?” Jesse asked, interrupting her conversation with Elliot.

“Well, sure, I do,” she replied.  “Haven’t you ever noticed how lovely the scenery is?”

“I don’t take much time to look at it.  I’m doing good just to get the work done, but from time to time, I do.”

Noting the way he swallowed, she asked, “You think Elsie would have liked it, don’t you?”

He nodded.  “Fanny would have you believe I forced Elsie to come out here, but I didn’t.  Elsie wanted to leave the city behind and start a homestead as much as I did.”

“I remember her saying she couldn’t wait to be out here.”

“She told you that?”

“It was during the first week I was on the wagon train.  We walked together for a while before Mrs. Shaw said she needed her.”

“You might as well call Mrs. Shaw by her first name.  It’s Fanny.”

“Yes, I suppose I should since I’ll be seeing more of her.” She paused then asked, “Does it feel strange knowing she’s not your mother-in-law anymore?”

“I hadn’t thought about it.” He smiled.  “It is nice not to have that association with her anymore.  Of course, there’s Elliot.  She’ll always be his grandmother no matter what happens.”

True.  Jesse would always be tied to Mrs. Shaw.  Fanny.  She had to remember to think of her as Fanny, as Jesse had suggested.  It might help her not feel so intimidated by the woman if she didn’t have to address her so formally.

Elliot tried to grab Laura’s hair again, but she managed to stop him this time.  With a laugh, she said, “I don’t know why Elliot’s so fascinated with my hair.”

“He’s reaching for a lot of things lately.  Before long, it’ll be hard to keep up with him.  You have no idea how much I appreciate the fact that you’ll be there for him all the time.”

“I’m happy to do it, Jesse.  Taking care of him gives me a purpose.  And it’s hard not to fall in love with him.  He’s an adorable little boy.  I’m excited I’ll get to be there while he grows up.”

A moment of silence passed between them, and she assumed the conversation was over.  But then, he said, “You did make a beautiful bride today.”

Surprised, she looked over at him.  She didn’t think he noticed how she looked.  “Thank you.  It was nice to have an excuse to pretty myself up.  I doubt I’ll ever get a chance to do it again.”

“Every woman should have her special day.  I hope this one was enough.  I know it wasn’t in the church, and your parents weren’t there.”

She shrugged.  “I didn’t expect it to be perfect.  I’d rather have the peaceful ceremony we did than have my parents stand up and protest the wedding.  That would have been embarrassing.”

“Well, I should warn you that your father has been by almost every day since you left his house, and he hasn’t been happy.  I have no doubt he’ll be by either later today or tomorrow.  I don’t think that will be pleasant.”

“No, I don’t think it will, either.”

But she couldn’t put off seeing her father forever.  Sooner or later, she’d have to talk to him.  She turned her gaze to Elliot, reminding herself why she had gone through with this marriage.  As long as she could be Elliot’s mother, whatever she had to go through would be worth it.

Chapter Nine

“So you did it, huh?” Fanny asked Jesse as he pulled the wagon up to his house.  “You went and got married to the woman who wants to replace Elsie.”

Jesse should have known Fanny would come running out of her hole as soon as he pulled up into the yard.  But he’d been hoping she’d be taking one of her many naps.  Such hopes, however, had been in vain.  No.  On this particular day, she chose to stay up until around two in order to give him and Laura a hard time.  He wouldn’t be surprised if Laura’s father would come out that very evening to make his complaints known.

“I’m not going to take Elsie’s place,” Laura told Fanny.  “That’s never been my intention, Mrs. Sh…Fanny.”

“I already told you that,” Jesse snapped at the old coot.

He winced.  He shouldn’t let Fanny get to him.  Not today.  This was Laura’s special day.  He’d promised himself he’d make this a nice day for her, something she could look back on fondly.  He had the rest of his life to argue with Fanny.  He didn’t need to do it today.

He got down from the wagon and walked over to Laura to help her down.

“Humph.” Fanny crossed her arms.  “What would Elsie think if she could see you now, touching another woman?”

Jesse waited until Laura was down before he turned to Fanny and forced out the calmest tone he could muster.  “I’m only helping her down from the wagon.  I’ve done the same with you, if you’ll recall.”

“I’m not a temptress,” Fanny replied.

“A temptress?” Laura asked, coming up beside him, bouncing Elliot on her hip.

“Yes,” Fanny told her.  She looked Laura up and down and shook her head.  “It’s just shameful the way you got yourself all prettied up to lure him away from Elsie.”

She gasped.  “Lure him away from Elsie?”

“She’s doing no such thing, and you know it,” he intervened.  “She’s here to be a mother to Elliot.  I’ve explained this to you already.  Why don’t you ever listen to me?”

Fanny glared at Laura.  “Because I see the way you’re looking at her, and I don’t like it one bit.”

The woman was looking for things that weren’t there.  He’d spent the entire wedding thinking of Elsie.  He barely even remembered most of the wedding just now, but he wouldn’t hurt Laura’s feelings by admitting it.

“I give up,” he finally said.  “Fanny, you see what you want to see.” To Laura, he added, “I’ll bring your things into the house.”

“Not to your room, I hope,” Fanny inserted.

Laura stopped walking toward the house and faced Fanny, her eyes wide in shock.  And who could blame her?  Only Fanny would be bold enough to come out and ask about their sleeping arrangements.

“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Jesse said.  “Of course not.  This is a marriage of convenience.  It’s not going to be anything else.” He turned to Laura and waved for her to go to the house.  “Go on.  Don’t let this raving lunatic get to you.” Like she had managed to get to him every single day of his life since he’d married Elsie.

Ignoring Fanny as she continued to nag at him, he went back up into the wagon and snapped the reins.  He only got mild satisfaction out of watching her jerk back from the horses.  She hated horses.  She’d swear up and down they had a reckless spirit about them.

But he knew better.  Horses were a lot like people.  They had unique personalities, and the two he owned were the two finest ones in the area.  They had gentle natures.  They wouldn’t hurt anyone.  So her nonsense about them giving her the evil eye was just that—nonsense.

By the time he unhitched them from the wagon and set them into the pasture, he realized how tired he was.  The day had taken a lot out of him.  It hadn’t been easy to stand in front of the preacher and promise himself to someone other than Elsie.

Shoulders slouched, he went to the barn, pulled up a pail, turned it upside down, and sat on it.  Yes, Laura was doing him a favor.  A huge one.  He didn’t think he’d ever repay the debt he owed her.  Not that he could ever imagine her demanding anything from him.  It wasn’t in her nature to do that.  In some ways, she was like Elsie.  But she wasn’t Elsie.  No one would ever be Elsie.

He put his face in his hands and let out a long sigh.  He hoped he hadn’t just deprived Laura of a life she deserved.  While there were no guarantees of a long life, he hated to think Laura might regret marrying him down the road.  It’d been selfish to take advantage of the opportunity she gave him.

He heard a horse going toward the house, so he looked through the doorway of the barn and saw an all-too-familiar rider making his way to the front door.  Bolting to his feet, he hurried out of the barn and made his way to the house just as the rider got off the horse.

Laura’s father only glanced in his direction before he bounded up the steps of the porch.

“She’s here, but I’m not going to make her talk to you,” Jesse told him, darting in front of the door before he could knock on it.  “If she wants to talk to you, fine.  If not, then you’ll need to go back home.”

Her father scowled at him.  “She’s my daughter.”

“And she’s my wife.” When her father narrowed his eyes at him, he added, “It’s official.  We’re now married.  So if she agrees to talk to you, you have to remember you’re talking to Mrs. Laura Palmer, not Miss Laura Rufus.  Understand?”

Her father stiffened and stood up straighter, a tactic meant to intimidate Jesse, but Jesse held his own.

“I’ll tell her you’re here,” Jesse said as he opened the door.  “Don’t come in unless she invites you.”

Then, he made sure her father didn’t follow him before he shut the storm door, leaving the main door open.  He found Laura in the kitchen, helping Elliot drink some water.

She glanced up at him and grinned.  “I didn’t realize he was so thirsty.  I’m glad I thought to get him something to drink.”

“Laura, your father’s here.”

There.  Jesse said it.  He didn’t think there was any easier way to mention it, so he figured the sooner he blurted it out, the better.  But by the way her countenance fell, he wished he’d lied and just went back out to tell her father she didn’t want to talk to him.  There was no taking back the words, though.  All he could do was offer her a way out of the situation.

“He’s on the porch if you want to talk to him,” he continued.  “If you don’t want to see him, I’ll send him away.”

She took a deep breath and released it.  “I suppose I should get this over with.”

He watched as she stepped around him and headed for the porch.  He almost didn’t follow her, thinking it would be rude to intrude on a private conversation.  But then, what if she needed him?  Her father wasn’t an easy man to deal with.  Jesse picked up Elliot and went to the front door.

Laura was talking to her father in low tones, and Jesse couldn’t help but notice she stayed inside the house.  The storm door provided a barrier between herself and her father.

As Jesse got closer, he heard her father’s irritated voice.  “You have put me and your mother through a lot of grief.  We had no idea where you were.”

“I’m sorry,” she told him.  “I was afraid to tell you because I knew you’d prevent me from marrying Jesse.”

Her father’s gaze shifted to Jesse, and Laura took a moment to look over at him.  Jesse couldn’t tell if she was glad he was standing with her or not.  If she asked him to leave, then he would.  Until then, he’d stay by her side.

“Your mother and I raised you,” her father told her.  “We’ve seen to your every need ever since you were born, and this is how you repay us?  By marrying someone who’ll only use you to raise his child?”

“I already told you this was my idea,” she replied.  “Jesse didn’t force me to do anything.  I want to help raise Elliot.”

Her father shook his head.  “This is nonsense.  You’re too young to know what’s good for you.  I demand you come home at once and put this foolishness behind you.”

“I already married Jesse,” she said.  “There’s no undoing it.”

“We’ll get it annulled.”

“You can’t do that.”

“I talked to the priest, and he’s willing to do it.”

“But I don’t want an annulment.”

“You’re too young to know what you want.”

“No, she’s not,” Jesse interrupted.  “Women younger than her get married and have families.  She knows what she’s doing, and we decided this was the best course of action.”

She nodded.  “It’s just as he said, Pa.  Women my age have families of their own.”

“Well, those women aren’t my daughter.  You are.” Her father gestured for her to come out of the house.  “I demand you obey me and get out here at once.”

“I can’t,” Laura said.

“You mean you won’t,” Jesse corrected.

Without bothering to look at Jesse, she kept her gaze on her father as she answered him.  “No, I mean, I can’t.” She then made an announcement that nearly made Jesse drop Elliot, for she said, “I might be carrying Jesse’s child.”

Her father stepped back on the porch, his hand over his heart.  “You can’t mean….”

“I’m afraid so,” she replied, still not looking at Jesse.  “That’s why we had to rush everything.  You wouldn’t want a grandchild born out of wedlock, would you?”

Jesse’s face warmed with embarrassment.  Even if Laura was lying, he couldn’t make eye contact with her father.  Not after what she’d just told him.

“You can’t be telling the truth,” her father insisted, though the underlying apprehension in his voice betrayed his doubt.

“I know this isn’t what you and Ma wanted for me,” she began.  “And neither Jesse nor I meant for it to happen, but one thing led to another, and…and…” She shrugged.  “It just happened.  So you see.  We had to get married.  I couldn’t bring myself to tell you or Ma because I knew it’d devastate you.  This way at least, we can save our reputations, and you won’t have to deal with the shame of others knowing.  It’s the best for everyone involved.”

Her father didn’t say anything, and there was no way Jesse was going to look at him to see what he was doing.  This whole thing hadn’t gone as he’d expected.

“Even if it turns out I’m not with child,” Laura continued, “it’s still best that Jesse and I remain married.  Jesse did right by me and made me an honest woman.  I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but now that you know the truth, you can understand why Jesse and I need to stay married.  It might be best you don’t tell Ma, just in case I’m not with child.”

Then she shut the door and hurried past Jesse and Elliot.  Jesse dared a peek out the small window by the door and saw her father trudging down the steps, his head bowed.  Well, he had to hand it to her.  The lie had worked.  Her father was finally leaving, and he suspected her father wouldn’t be trying to get her to go back with him after this.  Even if her father thought she might be lying, he couldn’t afford to take the chance she wasn’t.

As Jesse watched her father get on his horse, Elliot squirmed in his arms.  Jesse put the boy down then turned his gaze back to the window, not satisfied until he saw her father actually ride away.

He turned back to Elliot in time to see the boy crawling into the kitchen.  Surprised, he followed his son and saw Elliot was heading for Laura.  Laura turned from the worktable where she was setting out the containers she’d long ago put flour and other ingredients in so she could make bread out here.

Jesse couldn’t be sure, but he thought her face was bright red as she hurried over to pick Elliot up.  Without looking at Jesse, she put Elliot in the highchair and secured him into it.

“I know why you lied to your father,” Jesse told her.  “And it’s alright.  You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”

She straightened up and glanced at Jesse, as if she wasn’t sure she could believe him or not.

“It’s been a long and exhausting two weeks.  Your father’s been over here a lot.  I don’t know how else you could have gotten him to go away.”

She hesitated then said, “I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.”

“You chose a good lie to go with.” He chuckled.  “I can’t think of anything else that would have worked as well.”

She relaxed and offered a shy laugh.  “I don’t know what gave me the idea to pick it.  Maybe it was hearing Elliot babble.” She shrugged.  “I suppose it doesn’t matter.  The important thing is he’s no longer trying to control me.”

“How did he try to control you?”

“Well,” she paused then continued, “I could only wear my hair a certain way or wear certain dresses.”

“Did he do that in every area of your life?” Why was he only learning this now?  Never once had she given him a reason to think she was miserable at home.

“It doesn’t matter.  I’m not there anymore.  I’m here.  And I made the choice.”

She grabbed a cracker, broke it into three pieces and gave it to Elliot.  Then she went to the worktable, signaling an end to the conversation—a conversation that happened to be a very uncomfortable one for her.  And who could blame her?  It wasn’t like they were close enough to have this kind of discussion.

“Alright,” he finally said.  “I need to change so I can do the chores.  Will you be fine without me to help?”

“I’ve made bread many times when it’s been just me and Elliot,” she told him, glancing over her shoulder at him.

True.  She had.  And had he been in the right frame of mind, he would have remembered that.  The day had definitely taken a toll on him.  Things were bound to change between him and Laura now that they were married, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it.  No.  He wasn’t.  He couldn’t be.

Elsie might be dead, but in his heart, she was very much alive.  All the memories the wedding had brought up today was proof of that.  Everything was happening too fast, and he didn’t know what to do about it.  Without another word, he left the kitchen, feeling as drained as he had when he buried Elsie in the ground.

Chapter Ten

Laura didn’t know what to expect.  Now that she was married, she didn’t feel different.  For some reason, she thought she would.  She’d gone from being a young, single woman to being a wife and mother all in one day.

But, she felt like she always had.  Uncertain.  Alone.  Awkward.  She didn’t know why she thought once she married, all of those familiar feelings would go away.  And it was worse since Jesse presented her with the question on where she wanted to sleep when it was time to go to bed.

“I only have two bedrooms,” Jesse told her as they stood right outside Elliot’s door.  “I didn’t expect to get married again after Elsie died, so I only built two rooms.  One for me, and one for Elliot.”

“That’s understandable,” she replied.

“I had a small bed made for you,” he said.  “I’m sure the one your parents had for you was a lot more comfortable, but it was the best I could do with what I had.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Jesse.  I brought this marriage on you so suddenly.  There wasn’t much time to make arrangements for me.”

He seemed relieved by her answer, so she figured she’d said the right thing.  After a moment, he said, “I put the bed in my room.” He gestured to the room next to Elliot’s, and she would have taken a look in there had the door not been shut.  “I only put it in there to keep Elliot away from it,” he added.  “Elliot might not be walking yet, but he has been getting around.  I know you didn’t bring much but a carpetbag.”

And that carpetbag was still in the parlor.  She hadn’t thought about it at the time, but she supposed he’d planned to keep it there until she told him where she wanted to sleep.

“I have my own bed,” Jesse explained.  “So we wouldn’t be sleeping together.” He rubbed the back of his neck.  “You did say you wanted to keep things between us the way they’ve always been.”

She wasn’t sure if he was telling her this or asking her.  Choosing her words carefully, she opted to say, “This is a marriage based on necessity.  We’re doing this for Elliot.”

He looked relieved.  “Right.  I just wanted to be sure you still wanted to keep things that way.  I don’t think I can ever be with you the way I was with Elsie.”

“I meant what I told Fanny.  I’m not here to take Elsie’s place.  I know you loved her.  All I want is to be your friend.”

“Thank you.  For understanding, I mean.”

She hadn’t thought there had been anything to understand.  She hadn’t expected him to put on the pretense of being a real husband with her.  As far as her father was concerned, they’d already been romantically involved, but nothing could be further from the truth.  Nor would there ever be.

“I think,” she began, “it would be best if I slept in Elliot’s room.  But I don’t want to wake him.  Tonight, I’ll sleep on the couch.  You can move the bed into his room tomorrow.”

“I should have asked you what you wanted to do earlier today.”

“There was a lot going on.”

She had barely finished cleaning up after the evening meal when Fanny barged into the house to find out how Laura was going to put Elliot to sleep for the night.  Listening to Jesse tell Fanny to mind her own business had been reminiscent of the days on the wagon trail.

Up to the time Laura had suggested marrying Jesse, Laura hadn’t been the target of Fanny’s anger.  Actually, for the most part, Fanny had kept her mouth shut during most of Laura’s visits.  Yes, she’d witnessed moments where Fanny and Jesse were arguing, but she was beginning to think they argued all the time.  Now that she was a part of the family, they were no longer going to put on the pretense of getting along for her sake.

Laura headed for the parlor but then stopped and turned back to Jesse.  “How do you handle it out here with Fanny?  She complains about everything you do.”

“I handle it because I have to,” he said, suddenly looking more tired than she could ever remember seeing him.  Even the day of Elsie’s funeral, he hadn’t looked like he’d been in such despair.  “No one wants her, and I can’t kick her off this land.  She’s Elsie’s mother, and she’s Elliot’s grandmother.  I owe it to both of them to make sure she has a place to stay.”

She supposed she couldn’t blame him.  Honor and duty were admirable traits, and Elsie had been the kind of person anyone would want to do anything for.  “Do you think things will get better now that I’m here?”

“I don’t know.  They might be the same, or they might be…”

His voice drifted off, so she encouraged him to continue.

After a moment, he said, “They might be worse.”

Worse?  How could they possibly get worse?  “I didn’t come here to make them worse.  I came to make them better.”

“I know you did.  But there’s no telling what Fanny will do.”

She waited for him to continue, to tell her what he meant by that, but he disappeared into his bedroom and came out with a blanket and pillow.

“I don’t feel right about having you sleep on the couch,” he said.  “I’ll sleep there tonight.  You can sleep in my room tonight.  Tomorrow, I’ll move your bed into Elliot’s room.  Alright?”

“Alright.” She went to get her carpetbag and smiled at him.  “Thank you.”

“There’s no need to thank me.  You’re the one who’s doing me a favor by coming out here.  Good night, Laura.”

“Good night, Jesse.”

While he put the pillow and blanket on the couch, she went to his bedroom.  There wasn’t much to it.  Two small beds.  A trunk.  A kerosene lamp that sat in the corner.  That was it.  He didn’t even have curtains.  It seemed he’d invested most of his money and time into making things for Elliot.

This place—as it was at the moment—was a shadow of a home.  Well, she’d change that.  Even if she and Jesse were only going to be friends, she wanted to make this place a comfortable home, one he could come to at the end of the day and feel he belonged.  She put her carpetbag on the floor between the beds and got ready to sleep for the night, thinking of all the improvements she could make.

***

The next morning, Laura woke before dawn.  She wasn’t sure what had disturbed her from her sleep.  Jesse wasn’t moving around in the house, and Elliot wasn’t crying.  Maybe she was still wound up after all the activity from yesterday.  So many things had changed, and she wasn’t sure what any of the changes meant.  Even if she didn’t feel different, she knew her life wasn’t going to be the same.

She sat up in the bed and glanced over at Jesse’s things in the remaining moonlight.  There was nothing there that told her Elsie had once been his wife.  Well, nothing she could see anyway.  Maybe the memories were too painful, so he had to hide them.  She didn’t think he would have thrown out tokens of their life together.  He’d loved her.  There was no doubt about that.

Laura didn’t think she’d ever forget how pale he’d been the morning Elsie died in childbirth or how he couldn’t stop crying during the funeral.  A love like that only came once in a lifetime.

For the first time, she questioned her decision to marry him.  Did she make a mistake in her desire to be Elliot’s mother?  Had she let her love for the child blind her to doing what was best for her?

No.  She wouldn’t think like this.  She’d had no choice.  Not unless she’d wanted to be forced to marry one of the old men her parents were trying to arrange for her to be with.  She was much better off here.

Renewed by the reminder, she got out of the bed and dressed for the day.  After she brushed her hair and pulled it back with a couple barrettes, she stepped out of the room.  The entire place was quiet.  She’d never been here at this time of day.  She’d been used to the sunlight streaming in through the window and Elliot making noise.

This quiet darkness was surprisingly spooky, especially when she glanced out the window and saw shadows where the barn was.  For a moment, she thought she caught a flicker of movement, but after staring at the same spot for a long moment without anything happening, she decided it was a trick of her imagination.

This was so different from being in town.  There, she’d look out the window and see other houses.  With the lamps lighting the street, it was easy to see if someone was outside.

With a shiver, she hurried to the kerosene lamp and lit it in the kitchen, making sure to keep the wick low enough so as not to disturb Jesse, who slept soundly in the parlor.  She set the lamp on the worktable and scanned the shelves.  If she got started on something, it’d help pass the time, not to mention help take her mind off the shadows the lamp had cast in the kitchen.

After some debate, she opted to make bread.  Once she mixed all the ingredients together and kneaded the dough, she put it aside and covered it with a towel.  By this time, a trace of sunlight had finally made its way into the kitchen.  Relieved, she put out the light in the kerosene lamp.  Good.  Now things would start to feel normal around here.

From the parlor, she heard Jesse get up from the couch.  She debated whether or not to go into the other room and let him know she was awake, but then she thought she’d offer to make him coffee.

When she reached the room, he was already gathering his blanket and pillow.  She’d never seen him without a shirt on before.  He only had on his undershirt and his denims, and without the shirt, she saw the muscles in his arms.  Stubble was on his face, which emphasized his masculine appeal.  She supposed the fact that his hair sticking up all over the place should have deterred her from finding the sight of him so intriguing.  But the truth was, it didn’t.  In fact, it only made him that much more attractive.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked.

Forcing her eyes to meet his, she managed a smile, hoping he couldn’t tell what she’d been thinking.  They were only friends, after all.  “Yes, I did,” she replied.  Good grief.  Was her voice actually weak?  She cleared her throat.  “Would you like some coffee?”

“I wouldn’t mind a cup,” he admitted.  “I didn’t get much sleep last night.  The couch isn’t as comfortable as it looks.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be.  I got the cheapest one I could find.  I’m just glad you were spared from having to sleep on it.  Maybe next year I can afford a better one.”

“I never have any trouble when I sit on it.”

“Sitting on it isn’t the problem.”

“Well, neither of us will need to sleep on it from now on,” she said.  “There’s no sense in getting a couch to replace this one when it’s fine to sit on.”

“I suppose you’re right.” He let out a sigh.  “Nothing’s the way I planned for it to be when I left New York.”

She could only guess what he meant by that comment.  She didn’t dare ask him what he meant, either, in case she inadvertently brought up Elsie.  She didn’t want to depress him.

With a smile, she said, “I think everything is fine the way it is.  You made a good home for you and Elliot.  This home is a nice one.” Since she didn’t know what else to say, she added, “I’ll get started on the coffee.  I was thinking of making muffins for breakfast.  Does that sound alright?”

“It sounds great.”

“Good.  Then I’ll get started on it.”

Without waiting for him to respond, she returned to the kitchen.  Alright.  So maybe she was beginning to feel a little different.  But she had no idea what the sudden change meant, and a part of her was afraid to find out.

***

Laura had just finished feeding Elliot his breakfast when Fanny knocked on the door.  Laura rose from her chair and wiped her hands on her dress.  She’d talked to Fanny in the past when Jesse was in the barn, but the conversations had always been short and mostly dealt with what she was feeding Elliot.  Somehow, she doubted Fanny’s reason for talking to her would be so pleasant this morning.

Bracing herself, Laura went to the door and opened it.  “Did you wish to spend time with Elliot?” she asked, hoping her cheerful tone would inspire the woman to stick to pleasant topics.

But Fanny wasn’t to be deterred.  She came into the house and shut the door.  “As Elsie’s mother, I deserve to know the truth.  Did you spend the night in Jesse’s bed?”

Laura gasped, and heat rose up to her face.  “I don’t believe that’s any of your business.”

“Of course, it is.  I have a right to know if you’ve been whoring yourself.”

Her eyes widened.  “Whoring myself?”

“Oh, don’t play innocent with me.  It’s obvious Jesse only married you to have you in his bed.  A man has needs, you know.  But I was hoping you’d put him in his place.  A wife ought not to be letting herself play the whore.  That’s a prostitute’s job.  A wife’s station is honorable.  I tell you this so you’ll know better tonight.  Don’t make it easy for him.  You let him know it’s a duty, but only one you’ll do once a month.  That’s all you need to try for a baby.  And having a baby is the only reason you need to be doing it anyway, so when you do get in the family way, such activity with Jesse must stop at once.”

Laura couldn’t speak.  Was this really happening?  Was Fanny actually standing in front of her and telling her how to behave when she was alone with her husband?

Fanny pulled a small booklet out of her pocket.  “Here.  I brought this over for you to read.” She held it out to Laura.

It was only due to her shock that Laura accepted the thing.  Her gaze went to the cover, and she saw the words Purity in the Bedroom on it.

From the kitchen, she heard Elliot banging on the tray of his high chair, probably hoping to get her attention so she’d let him out, but she couldn’t move.  Indeed, she was frozen to the spot.  Never in a million years did she think Fanny would do something this…this…  Unbelievable?  Bold?  Rude?  Just how did she describe it?

“Women are delicate creatures,” Fanny continued, not the least bit disturbed by this topic.  “They need to be handled with great care and tenderness.  If my darling Elsie had listened to me, I bet she would be alive right now.  But she didn’t.  You keep that in mind.  A woman who’s carrying a child doesn’t need to be engaging in rough activity.”

Laura resisted the urge to cringe.  Just how did Fanny know about Jesse and Elsie’s love life?  On second thought, she didn’t want to know.  It was best she didn’t even think about it!

“It’s all there in that little book.” Fanny tapped the booklet and offered a firm nod, as if that settled everything.  “Read it, and you’ll see what I mean.  I went by it, and as you can see, I’m still here.”

Laura swallowed the lump in her throat.  Good heavens.  Was this conversation ever going to end?

The sound of a horse neighing drew Laura’s attention off of Fanny and to the buggy that was coming up to the house.  She squinted and breathed a sigh of relief when she realized it was Amanda and Richard.

Thank goodness.  She slipped the booklet into her skirt pocket and cleared her throat.  “I better see that my company is taken care of.  Would you like to spend some time with Elliot?”

“Oh no, you don’t,” Fanny said.  For a moment, Laura thought the woman was going to forbid her to talk to Amanda and Richard, but then she continued, “You married Jesse to be a mother to Elliot.  It’s your duty to take care of him.  You will not shirk your responsibilities.  You will have to watch him while socializing.”

Then Fanny turned and hurried back to her little home, her nose up in the air in that self-righteous way of hers.

Shirking her responsibilities?  Laura had no intention of doing any such thing.  Biting her tongue, she stepped out onto the porch and waved to Amanda and Richard.  “Come on in!  I need to get Elliot, but I’ll be with you soon.”

Since Amanda and Richard nodded that they understood, Laura went back into the house to get the poor baby out of the highchair.  The boy was so active these days.

“I’m sorry, Elliot,” she told him as she finished cleaning up the kitchen.  “If your grandmother hadn’t kept talking, I would have gotten you out sooner.”

Elliot babbled, and it came out sounding so much like a question, she felt compelled to answer it.

“You don’t need to know what she wanted to talk about,” Laura told him.  “In fact, you should be glad you didn’t have to hear it.” How she wished she could un-hear the whole, sordid thing.

She washed his hands with the clean towel then helped him down from the highchair.  He grabbed her skirt and wobbled on his feet.

“I can’t believe he’s so big already,” Amanda said.

Laura jerked then laughed.  She looked over at Amanda, who was holding a covered dish.  “I didn’t hear you come into the house.”

Amanda smiled.  “I didn’t knock.  I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry.” Laura picked up Elliot, who voiced his disappointment.  She patted his back and kissed his forehead.  “I’ll let you stand up in a moment.  Be patient.” She glanced at Amanda.  “Would you like something to drink or eat?”

“No.  Richard and I already had breakfast.” Amanda lifted the covered dish.  “I thought I’d bring this over as a house warming gift.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“It was no trouble.” Amanda placed it on the worktable.  “I made some extra cinnamon rolls.  You’ll be doing me a favor by taking them off my hands.”

Leave it to Amanda to make it sound like Laura was helping her out.  On impulse, Laura gave her friend a hug, mindful she was still holding Elliot.

“What was that for?” Amanda asked.

“Just for being you,” Laura replied, pulling away from her before Elliot could grab Amanda’s hair.  “You’re a good friend.”

“Well, you’ve been there for me when I needed someone.  The least I can do is help you out.” She glanced around and then turned her attention back to Laura.  “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Everything’s fine at the moment.” When Elliot squirmed in her arms, she giggled.  “I think Elliot’s days of wanting to be held are over.  Why don’t we go into the parlor and talk?  Then he can move about where there’s more room.”

Amanda nodded and followed Laura to the parlor.  “I haven’t been here before.  The place is quaint.”

Laura sat on the couch and gestured for Amanda to do the same.

“I saw Fanny leaving.  How are things going now that you’re stuck with her?” Amanda asked once she was settled beside Laura.

Laura let Elliot down then turned toward Amanda.  “I underestimated how much Jesse has to go through every day.”

Amanda winced.  “That bad, huh?”

Despite the very uncomfortable conversation she’d just had with Fanny, she found herself chuckling.  “I don’t know how someone as sweet and patient as Elsie came from her.  I bet Jesse had no idea how bad Fanny was until after they married.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking of you all night,” Amanda admitted.  “I know it sounds silly, but I actually had nightmares where Fanny poisoned you or dug a hole so you fell into it and no one could find you.”

Laura laughed.  “Fanny wouldn’t kill me.”

“Not physically,” Amanda conceded, “but she worries me.  Of all the people I’ve known, you have a hope and joy that few others do.  I don’t want Fanny to rob you of that.”

“I have Elliot.  He brings me hope and joy whenever I’m with him, and now I have the honor of being his mother.”

“So you’re happy with the arrangement you and Jesse have?  That your marriage will only be one of convenience?”

Laura wished Amanda would stop asking her that.  Ever since Laura had mentioned her idea to propose this arrangement to Jesse, Amanda had been hesitant to believe it was the best thing to do.  And, unfortunately, the spark she’d experienced that morning when she watched Jesse gather his things from this room made her question whether or not she’d been wise to pursue this path.

Elliot pulled himself up on the chair and looked over at her, his wide grin warming her heart.  She’d done this for Elliot.  She loved the child.  Since the time she first held him, it seemed there had been a connection between them.

“Elliot makes me happy,” Laura finally told Amanda.  “I might not have given birth to him, but I love him as if I did.”

Amanda smiled.  “It is wonderful that you’re taking on the responsibility of raising him.  And there’s no denying he thinks the world of you.” She glanced at Elliot.  “All that being the case, I hope you will find some happiness with Jesse, too.”

Laura shifted on the couch, not sure she wanted to discuss this particular topic.  It’d been much easier to deal with Fanny earlier—and that was saying something!

“You know,” Laura began, “I learned a lot about your in-laws while staying with them.  I don’t know if it’s because I was an only child or if they’re an unusual bunch, but I noticed Tom and Joel like to fight.  A lot.”

Amanda chuckled.  “They do.  Joel is the one who instigates most of the fights, too.  I keep telling Tom if he’d ignore him, Joel would stop.”

“Tom instigates some of the fights.”

“He does?”

“There were a couple times when he did something to annoy Joel, and I think he did it so that Joel would fight back.”

“Really?”

With a nod, Laura giggled and proceeded to give her some examples.

Chapter Eleven

“You built this place up in a short amount of time,” Richard told Jesse as the two sat on a couple of barrels in the barn.

“Fanny had certain standards on what kind of place she’d let her grandchild grow up in,” Jesse replied.  Though, as Jesse now recalled, it hadn’t done any good to go into debt.  All his efforts hadn’t appeased her.  “Looking back, I should have gone with my original plan to build a sod house and barn.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “I would have still put her in a separate home.”

Richard chuckled, and the mood lightened considerably between them.  “I don’t think anyone wants to be near her.”

“No, they don’t.  After Elsie died, I wrote her family a letter, telling them to take Fanny back to New York.  I only brought her out here because of Elsie.”

“I’m guessing they said no.”

“Yep.  I don’t think there’s anyone who’d willingly take her.” After a moment, Jesse released his breath.  “I’m sorry, Richard.  I shouldn’t keep complaining.  It’s not like it’s all bad out here.  I have Elliot.  He gives me a reason to get up each day.  I wouldn’t trade him for the world.  And it definitely helps that Laura agreed to come out here and help me raise him.  He’s at the age now where he wants to move around.  It was easier to take him with me when he was content to be in the baby carrier I made.  But now he wants to get into all kinds of trouble, and I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse once he starts walking.”

“You can’t stop a child from growing up,” Richard said in amusement.  “I have enough brothers and sisters to know that firsthand.  Just wait until Elliot has a brother or sister.  That’s when things really get interesting.”

Jesse didn’t know if he should tell Richard he and Laura didn’t have that kind of marriage.  It had been awkward enough to discuss the sleeping arrangement with Laura last night when it was time for bed.

Yes, he’d had her own bed made, and God knew his was small as it was.  But he’d wondered if, deep down, Laura had had her heart set on a real marriage.  However, his worries had been for nothing.  She’d made it clear she was fine with the arrangement as it was, saving him from having to tell her he just couldn’t give her more than what they’d agreed on.

Thinking it best to change topics, Jesse asked, “Did you get a homestead?”

“No,” Richard replied.  “Farming isn’t for me.  I like building things, especially houses.  In fact, I helped my parents build their own home.  With the size of my family, it didn’t seem right to have them confined to a sod house.”

“You do have a big family,” Jesse recalled from seeing them at the wedding.  “Growing up, it was me, my sister, and my brother.  My family was small compared to yours.” After a moment, he asked, “Do you ever wish you’d stayed back East?”

“No.  Coming out here was the best thing I ever did.”

“I suppose that’s true since your whole family came out here, too.”

“It was more than that.  Coming out here was a good chance to start new.” After a moment of silence, Richard asked, “Do you regret coming out here?”

“I don’t let myself think about it often,” Jesse admitted, his gaze going to his hands which were folded in his lap.  “Coming out here was a dream I had since I was a boy.  I imagined building a legacy for my children.  My family didn’t have anything back East.  I worked in the factory with my father as soon as I was old enough, and that whole time, I kept thinking of how nice it would be to keep the fruits of my labor instead of giving it in rent to the landlord.  I thought I would finally be ahead.”

Richard studied him.  “You’re not better off?”

“No.” Jesse swallowed the lump in his throat.  “I wasn’t in debt before, but I am now.  So everything I make is going to go to the bank.  It seems that no matter what I do I can’t get ahead.” Before Richard got the wrong idea, he added, “I don’t mean to say I’m not grateful.  Elliot made it despite everything, and Joe Otto gave me a good deal on the lumber through his friend.  I have many things to be thankful for.”

“Yes, but you’re still disappointed.  That’s natural, Jesse.  When we think things will go a certain way and they don’t, you’re bound to be disappointed.  It’s human.”

“Maybe.”

Or maybe it meant Jesse wasn’t good at making decisions.  Maybe everything he did was wrong.  Maybe he’d unknowingly brought Laura into the mess with him.  The cow mooed from one of the stalls, and Jesse glanced at it, recalling it was time to milk her.

“I better take care of her,” he told Richard.  “If I don’t, she gets annoyed.”

Richard chuckled.  “One thing I’ll say about working with tools is that they don’t complain like animals do.”

Jesse felt his mood lighten at his joke.  “That’s true, but I’m sure you have your own troubles to deal with.”

“Sometimes people want things done too fast or they don’t like a particular design even though they asked for it.  I love the building part, though.  It makes the other things bearable.” He paused.  “Even if things aren’t what you expected, do you still like it here?”

“Yes, I suppose I do.”

“I know it’s hard to focus on the things that are good about this place, but maybe it’ll help take the sting out of everything else.”

Richard was right.  Maybe it was time Jesse did that.  It was too easy to fall into despair otherwise.  “I’ll give it a try.”

“And if you need anything, Amanda and I will be happy to help.  Laura is one of the few women Amanda’s ever had for a friend.”

“Oh?”

“Growing up, Amanda couldn’t be sure who her real friends were when it came to the other girls, and she’d learned to close herself off from almost everyone as a result of it.  Laura managed to break through her walls, and to be honest, it’s been one of the best things that happened to her.  Amanda’s a lot happier than she ever was in New York.”

“Laura’s a good person.”

“She is.  And there’s nothing Amanda wouldn’t do for her.  So, if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.  I don’t mind lending a hand if you need it.”

“Thanks.”

Richard smiled.  “Why don’t you give me a chore to do so I can make myself useful?”

Jesse laughed, and in doing so, he felt some of the weight he’d been carrying around ease from his shoulders.  “Alright, but remember, you asked for it.”

“I did, and I won’t forget.”

Willing to put Richard to the test, Jesse did as Richard wished.

***

That evening, Jesse and Laura ate their meal mostly in silence.  Elliot was the only one who made the meal easier with his laughter and calling out “Mama” and “food” from time to time.  Laura couldn’t help but smile.  This was how she imagined her life would be once she became his mother.

Every time he looked at her with those bright eyes and that wide grin, it made everything else worth it, even the strained tension with Jesse.  That was the one thing she hadn’t expected.  Up to now, she and Jesse had shared a friendship.  They hadn’t lacked for anything to talk about.  But something in the transition into marriage had changed things.  She couldn’t quite figure out why or even how.  It was just different, and she didn’t know how to get things back to the way they’d been just a couple weeks ago.

“I saw Fanny come in here right after breakfast,” Jesse spoke up, ending the silence between them.  “I was just wondering if she said or did anything to upset you.”

Laura hesitated, not sure what to say.  There was no way she could tell him the subject of the conversation they’d had.  Or rather, the lecture Fanny had given her.  In all the excitement of seeing Amanda and Richard, she’d forgotten about the booklet.  She wasn’t sure what she’d do with it.  Did she hide it?  Burn it?  Tear it into pieces and let the wind carry it off?

“Laura?” Jesse asked.

Face growing warm, Laura turned her attention back to him.  “Oh, you know Fanny.  She was just letting me know she wasn’t happy we got married.”

Yes, that was probably the best way to put it.  Then, lowering her gaze back to the plate, she picked up the last of the roast and ate it, praying he wouldn’t ask her exactly what Fanny had said.

“It seems like the entire world isn’t happy we got married,” he finally replied after a long pause.

“Well, the Larsons have been accepting of it.”

“Yes, but they aren’t related to us.  They have nothing to gain or lose from the union.”

Yes, there was that.

“Mama,” Elliot called out, holding his hand out for more food.

She took another biscuit from the middle of the table and ripped it up into little pieces before putting them on his tray.  With an excited squeal, he picked all of them up into his hands and started shoving them into his mouth.  Startled, Laura grabbed all but one piece from him and put them on the table by her plate.  Elliot studied his empty hands—well, empty except for the one piece he had left—and frowned.

Jesse chuckled.  “You’ll get more pieces of bread when you finish the one in your hand.”

Elliot glanced his way, his eyebrows furrowed, not at all happy that he had to eat the biscuit one piece at a time.

Laura shot Jesse an apologetic smile.  “I should have remembered I can’t give him everything at once.”

Jesse shrugged.  “There’s no harm in it.  He’ll figure it out soon enough.”

Glad he wasn’t going to criticize her, she relaxed.  So much seemed to be hinging on whether or not Jesse thought she did an adequate job of taking care of his son.  There was no doubt this marriage had been a risk, even if it was borne of necessity.

“I’ll do better next time,” Laura promised.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jesse assured her as he poked a potato with his fork.  “I’ve made the same mistake.”

“You have?” She couldn’t be sure if he was telling her the truth or not.  For all she knew, he only said it to make her feel better.

He smiled at her.  “Yes, I have.  You make a lot less mistakes than I do.”

“What kind of mistakes?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you.  Some of them have been embarrassing.  I’m just glad Fanny didn’t see them.”

Curious, she leaned toward him.  “Like what?” When he seemed reluctant to tell her, she added, “If you want me to feel better about almost letting him shove an entire biscuit into his mouth, it’d help if I knew what embarrassing things you’ve done.”

“Well…” He paused then said, “Alright.  But I’m only giving one example.  I don’t want you to think you married a dunce.  One time when I was in the barn taking care of the chores, I sat him on the stool I use to milk cows.  I thought he’d stay seated.  Long story short, when I looked over at the stool, he was gone.  It turned out, he was playing in an empty stall, and I hadn’t taken the time to clean it out earlier that day.  Let’s just say I had to give him a bath because he was covered in horse droppings.”

She gasped.  “He wasn’t!”

“Thankfully, it washed off easily.”

Despite how horrible such a task had to be, she burst out laughing.  “What a mess that must have been.”

With a chuckle, he nodded.  “It was.  It’s bad enough cleaning him up when the diaper doesn’t catch everything.”

“We need to keep a close eye on Elliot.  Who knows what other trouble he could get into?”

“I think he’ll get into all kinds of trouble if we let him.  He isn’t content to stay where he’s supposed to be.”

“I wonder if all babies are like that.” Laura glanced over at Elliot and gave him another piece of biscuit.  “I didn’t have any younger brothers or sisters, so I really don’t know what to expect.”

“I don’t, either.  I have a younger sister and brother, but they’re a couple years younger than me.  I wasn’t old enough to remember them as babies.”

“It looks like we’ll have to learn what to do together.”

“Yeah, it does.”

His voice turned soft, so she chanced a look in his direction.  In the sunlight streaming into the room, she caught sight of the small smile on his face and wondered if that smile might be for her.

No.  It wasn’t.  He was only smiling because they’d been having a fun conversation.  Besides, they’d been laughing anyway.  It was just her own attraction to him that was making her see things that weren’t there.  At the moment, she wished she hadn’t noticed him—really noticed him—that morning.

She’d thought attraction was instant, that either a woman was attracted to a man as soon as she met him or she wasn’t.  That was why she believed a platonic arrangement could work.  She’d never harbored any romantic feelings for him before.  He’d just been there.  Yes, he’d been kind.  Yes, he’d been a good friend.  But he’d never been more than that.

Then suddenly, without warning, all of that had changed when she saw him that morning.  If she hadn’t experienced how quickly such a shift could happen, she wouldn’t have believed it.  And all it did was make things awkward when they shouldn’t have been.

Before he noticed she was staring at him, she turned back to her plate and finished her meal.  When supper was over, she cleaned the table and Elliot, deciding she’d do the dishes after she put Elliot to bed for the night.

Since Jesse went outside, that left her time to tidy up inside the house while watching Elliot and occasionally pulling him away from things he shouldn’t be getting into.  She’d have to find ways to make the home safer for him.  She wouldn’t be able to watch him all the time.

Soon enough, it was time to put Elliot to bed, and her gaze went to her bed, which Jesse had set up along the wall, as far from the crib as possible.  He’d done that shortly after Amanda and Richard had left while Laura was outside with Elliot so he could play in the yard.

Now, as she tucked Elliot into his crib, she thought it’d be the perfect time to hide the booklet.  She didn’t have any intention of reading it, but she didn’t want Jesse to find it.  Throwing it into the burn pile wouldn’t do.  He might see it among the other trash.  She supposed she could throw it in a trash bin in town at some point.  That would probably be the safest way to dispose of it.

But for the time being, she needed to hide it, and there was only one place she could think of that would work.  She pulled the booklet out of her pocket, lifted her mattress, and tucked it under there.  Once she was sure the booklet was safely hidden, she smoothed out the blanket and released her breath.

Good.  With that out of the way, she could relax.  Going over to Elliot, she saw his eyes were closed.  The poor boy had had a long day.  Laura, in her excitement, hadn’t let him take much of a nap.  Well, maybe tomorrow, she’d do better.  With a smile, she tucked his hair behind his ear, whispered a good-night to him, and left the room so she could do the dishes.

This routine, she was sure, would soon become a habit as she slipped into her new life as wife and mother.  Well, mostly mother.  But even so, she couldn’t imagine a more rewarding job.

Chapter Twelve

A week later, Laura bit her lower lip as she stood in front of her parents’ house.  Elliot squirmed in Laura’s arms, though he didn’t insist she let him down.  He must have sensed her unease and decided to be patient for her sake.

Next to her, Amanda offered a sympathetic smile.  “Are you sure you want to do this?”

No.  No, she wasn’t.  This was probably a mistake.  Things had ended on such a horrible note the last time she’d seen her mother.  She’d only seen her father since then, and she’d told her father that lie about possibly being with child.  She was sure that lie wouldn’t make this confrontation with her mother any easier.

“I need to get this over with,” Laura finally decided.  “She’s my mother.  I can’t avoid her forever.”

With a nod, Amanda knocked on the door.

“Thanks for being here,” Laura said.

“It’s the least I can do after all the times you’ve been there for me,” Amanda replied.

Laura tried to smile, but she didn’t have the strength to do it.  Instead, she turned her gaze forward and pressed her hand on Elliot’s back, reminding herself that no matter what came from this conversation, it’d be worth it because she’d still have him.

The doorknob turned.  She straightened her back.  This was it.  The moment of truth.

The door creaked open, but instead of the scowl and reprimand Laura expected, her mother let out a sob and hurried to embrace her.

Shocked, Laura couldn’t respond.  She thought for sure her mother would be angry with her.  She looked over at Amanda, whose eyes were wide with surprise.

“Come in,” Laura’s mother said, urging her inside.  “Your father’s not here.  It’s safe to talk.”

Laura stepped into the entryway but waited until Amanda was with her before she led her friend to the parlor.  Still unsure of how things had changed so drastically with her mother, she sat on the couch and let Elliot down.  Elliot seemed more than happy to start exploring a new environment.  Laura hadn’t brought him here before, figuring it was best not to upset her parents since they hadn’t been pleased she’d decided to take care of him to begin with.

“I’ll get some coffee and cookies,” Laura’s mother said as Amanda sat next to her.

While Laura’s mother hurried to the kitchen, Laura turned her gaze to Amanda.  “I don’t know who that woman is,” Laura whispered.

Amanda chuckled and gave her a hug.  “Don’t question it.  Just be glad this isn’t what you were expecting.”

Amanda was right.  She really ought to count her blessings on this one.

Her mother returned with a tray of refreshments and set them down.  “Help yourself.”

Laura took a cup and noted that her hand was trembling.  Though things were going much better than she’d thought possible, she was still nervous.

As Amanda put sugar into her cup of coffee, Elliot pulled himself up the table so he could stand.  He then made an attempt to grab a cookie but lost his balance and fell on his behind.  The rug beneath him cushioned his fall, and he laughed.

The others, in turned, laughed with him.

“I forgot how curious babies are,” Laura’s mother said.  “It seems like only yesterday you were his age,” she told Laura, “but I can’t remember the details about that time.”

“Elliot’s a sweet boy,” Laura replied, reaching down and giving his head a playful pat.  She sat back up, lest she spill her drink, and turned her attention to her mother.  “I hope you can understand why I wanted to be his mother.  He’s an adorable child.”

“Yes, he is,” her mother agreed then took a sip of her coffee.  “Is he old enough to have a cookie?”

“Yes, as long as it’s soft enough for him to swallow.” She still needed to work up her courage to do more than hold a cup of coffee.  Yes, her mother had shocked her in a very good way, but she was still nervous about what this meant going forward.  She set the cup down.  “I’m sorry I stormed out of here the way I did,” she said.  “I should have handled it better, but I didn’t know how.”

“I’m sorry I pushed you so hard to do what I wanted instead of letting you make your own decision.” Her mother glanced at her cup and sighed.  “It’s not easy being a woman.  So many times we’re told what to do and how to do it.  I was afraid you’d make the wrong choice and end up regretting it.” She paused then asked, “Laura, whatever you say, I won’t tell your father.  But I need to know the truth.  Did you marry Jesse because you thought you might be with child?”

Laura was sure Amanda was shocked by this question even more than Laura had been shocked by her mother’s reaction to seeing her today.  Laura hadn’t told Amanda about the fib she’d told her father.  She honestly hadn’t thought the topic would come up in this conversation.  She should have known better, but she’d been preoccupied with how she was going to respond to her mother’s accusations that she’d thought of little else.

Clearing her throat, Laura said, “The truth is, Jesse and I were never together in that way.” She picked up a cookie and broke it then gave a piece to Elliot, hoping the pause would help embolden her to continue.  “I only told Father that because he was so adamant about taking me home after I got married.  I figured the only way to stop him was to tell him I might be expecting.”

“Yes, I can understand your reason for lying.  I know your father’s been hard to deal with during this time.”

“Has he been difficult here, too?”

“He’s angry.  He had this idea he was going to arrange a marriage for you, and he started selecting potential suitors when we came to Omaha.”

“Yes, I know.”

“He doesn’t mean to be cruel, Laura.  Our marriage was arranged between our parents when we came of marrying age.  It was the way things were done in our families for generations.  Women were given no say in these matches.  They just did what was expected.  This new world is a scary one for the parents.  Most women are picking their own husbands, and marriage is a lifetime commitment.  It shouldn’t be taken lightly.  Great thought needs to come into the decision.”

“Jesse’s a good man, Mother.  He treats those he loves very well.  Some men would have refused to raise a child if their wives had died in childbirth, but Jesse didn’t do that.  He not only chose to raise Elliot, but he loves him, too.  That’s why I knew Jesse would make a good husband.  A man who loves his child the way Jesse loves Elliot is worth marrying.”

“Yes, I remember how hard it was for him when Elsie died.  He suffered a great deal.”

Something in her mother’s eyes indicated that she’d often wished her own husband would love her in the same way.  Laura took a good moment to study her mother.  Up to now, it hadn’t occurred to her what her mother thought of her own marriage.  She’d just assumed her parents were happy together because they’d never voiced a complaint.  But now she realized things weren’t what they seemed.

“You’re an adult now,” her mother continued, offering a smile.  “I have to remember that you’re not a child anymore.  The time passed so fast.”

Laura glanced at Elliot, who was still so young.  She wished he would stay young forever.  No doubt, her mother had once looked at her and felt the same way.  Someday, probably all too soon, Elliot would sit in the parlor with her and tell her about the young woman he wanted to marry.

The time still seemed a long way off at this moment, but the day would come soon enough.  And then what?  Besides grandchildren, what did she have to look forward to?  What was her life going to look like then?

***

“How did things go with your mother?” Jesse asked that evening during supper.

Laura glanced up from the chicken she was eating and smiled.  “Good.  Better than I’d hoped, actually.”

“It did?”

“Yes.  Um, she welcomed me with open arms.  We had a good talk.” She turned to give Elliot some mashed potatoes.  “She was impressed with Elliot.  He’s a smart boy for someone his age.”

“I think it’s because of you he’s doing as well as he is.”

Surprised by the unexpected compliment, she glanced his away again.  “You do?”

“You stepped in and were a mother to him when he really needed it.  He knows you love him.  He’s happier when you’re here.”

She turned back to Elliot and smiled.  “I’m happier when I’m here, too.  He’s going to accomplish so many wonderful things.” She brushed a lock of Elliot’s hair from his forehead.  “It’s hard to believe he’ll grow up, though, doesn’t it?”

“It is.  I know it’s selfish, but sometimes I wish he could be this age forever.”

“I don’t think it’s selfish.  I think it just comes with enjoying this time in his life.  It’s hard to want it to end.”

She tore off a very small piece of the chicken and gave it to Elliot.  The boy didn’t seem to know what to think of it at first.  His face scrunched up, as if carefully weighing the pros and cons of the meat.  Finally, he swallowed it, said, “More,” and opened his mouth.

With a chuckle, she hurried to do as he wished.

“He’s been eating better ever since you’ve been making all the meals,” Jesse told her.  Then, as an afterthought, he added, “I’ve been eating better, too.  It’s been nice having something decent to eat for a change.”

“I made you two lunches when I came out here,” she reminded him.

“I know, and believe me, I appreciated it.  But it’s nice knowing every meal is like this one.”

Their eyes met for several seconds, and Laura caught the sudden heat rising in her cheeks.  She swallowed, hoping he didn’t notice the rush of pleasure his smile had elicited, and turned back to Elliot.

After a moment, Jesse asked, “Have you seen your father since the day we married?”

She shook her head.  “No.  I might have been able to see him today if I wanted, but I chose to go when I knew he’d be at work.  I’m not sure I’m ready to see him yet.”

“No one can blame you for that.”

“One thing I have noticed,” she began as she fed Elliot more mashed potatoes, “is that Fanny hasn’t been over here.  I thought she’d want to see Elliot.”

“Her body’s been aching,” Jesse replied after he took a drink of coffee.  “When it gets like that, she stays inside all day.  I know it’s mean to say, but I like it when she’s not feeling well because she leaves me and Elliot alone.” He paused.  “It’s hard to do as the Good Book says.  I know I’m supposed to honor her because she’s Elsie’s mother, but every time I talk to her, we end up arguing.”

“I think there’s something in Fanny that brings out the worst in people.”

“So you feel it, too?”

Laura nodded.  “A couple days ago, I went over to bring her soup, and she said it wasn’t edible.  She took one spoonful of soup and spit it out.  Then she dumped the rest of the soup on the lawn and gave me the bowl.  I haven’t been over there since.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this when it happened?”

Surprised at the concern in his voice, she said, “You’ve been busy managing this place.  I didn’t want to bother you.  Besides,” she shrugged, “it was between me and her.  I’ve been staying to myself ever since.”

“That wasn’t right of her to do it.  Even if your soup did taste awful, which it doesn’t, there’s no reason for her to be that way.”

“Considering how she’s been with you, I wasn’t surprised.  I just need to figure out the best way to respond to her.”

“Your response wasn’t the problem.  It’s her actions that need fixing.”

Noting how upset he was, she didn’t know what to say.  After a moment, she turned her attention to Elliot and fed him the rest of the meal.

***

Jesse pounded on Fanny’s door then crossed his arms.  As much as he wanted to take care of the chores, he couldn’t until he got this matter resolved first.  When she didn’t open the door, he banged on it again.

“Fanny, I know you’re in there, so you might as well open up,” he yelled.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the door opened, and Fanny scowled.  “I was resting.  My muscles are bothering me again.  An old woman needs plenty of rest, you know.  I can’t go all day from one chore to another like you can.”

“I like it when you rest,” he told her.  “It’s the only time I get any peace around here.”

She narrowed her eyes at him.  “Then why are you bothering me?”

“Because I just found out you spit out the soup Laura brought over for you a couple days ago.”

She looked at him as if she’d never heard anything more ridiculous.  “Her soup was terrible.  It tasted like dirt.”

“It did not.”

“How would you know?  You weren’t here to taste it.”

“Because I had some of it at supper.”

With a snort, she said, “After eating Elsie’s soup, I don’t know how you can’t tell the difference between good and bad soup.”

“That’s what this is really about, isn’t it?  You,” he pointed his finger at her, “resent the fact that Laura’s here.  That’s why you were rude to her.”

“It has nothing to do with that.  She hasn’t learned to cook.”

“It has everything to do with it, and we both know it.  You’ve been many things, Fanny, but one thing I never took you for was a liar.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he interrupted her.  “You listen to me, and you listen good.  The bad feeling we share is between us.  You and me.  You leave Laura out of it.  She made a big sacrifice to be here for Elliot.”

“No one asked her to do it.”

“Someone needs to be here to take care of him now that he’s learning to walk.  You can’t be bothered to do it most of the time.”

“Because I’m old.”

“Right.  Because you’re old.  You can’t do the job.  You should be grateful Laura’s willing to take the job so you don’t have to.”

She stiffened.  “You can’t do it, either.”

“Which is why I married her.  I know you don’t like someone else being Elliot’s mother, but she is Elliot’s mother now.  I demand you show her respect.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I’ll take you to Omaha and hire a stagecoach to take you to the nearest train station.  From there, you’ll go back to New York.  I don’t care if your family doesn’t want you.  They’ll have to deal with you.”

Her mouth formed a thin line.  “That’s been your plan all along.  You want to separate me from my grandson.  That’s the real reason you married Laura.  With Laura here, you don’t need me to help out.”

“I’m willing to put up with you because you are Elliot’s grandmother, but I have a responsibility to my new wife.  If you don’t show her respect, you’re out of here.”

Then he left.  Whether or not the threat would do any good remained to be seen, but he’d do it if he had to.  Elsie had tried to make Fanny show him respect, but Fanny hadn’t.  Now that he thought about it, Fanny hadn’t cared enough about her own daughter to show her respect, either.

He didn’t realize how soft he and Elsie had been over the years.  If they’d done what they had threatened to do long before now, then who knew how different things would be now?  Maybe Fanny would have been easier to deal with.  Or maybe she would have kept on trying to tell everyone what to do.  Either way, he was partly to blame for it.  All he did was argue with her.  It wasn’t a productive use of his time.  In fact, it only made things worse.

Was this really the environment he wanted Elliot to grow up in?  Did he really want Laura to feel like he did for the short time he’d been married to Elsie?  Feeling helpless to stand up to Fanny?  Feeling like he had to accept whatever Fanny did to him just because she was Elsie’s mother.

Fanny was manipulative.  There was nothing else to it.  Elsie had felt bound to honoring her because she was her mother, so she hadn’t been able to make things better.  But he wasn’t bound by any such sense of obligation.  It was one thing to put up with Fanny when it was just him.  It was different when Laura was the one who had become an unwitting victim in this mess.  Laura deserved better, and he would make sure she didn’t have to suffer the same fate he had during his marriage to Elsie.  For once, things were going to change for the better.

***

After Laura put Elliot to bed for the night, she picked up her sewing supplies and started working on a shirt for him.  It was hard to believe he was almost too big for the clothes she’d only made for him a couple months ago, and they’d been large on him at the time.

She shook her head as she pulled the needle through the soft cotton fabric.  It didn’t seem fair babies should grow up so fast.  And she didn’t know what to do with the clothes he’d outgrown.  Did she give them to Amanda for when Amanda would have children?  Or did she hold on to them, just in case…  In case what?  In case she actually had children of her own?

She’d be better off giving the old clothes to Amanda.  It was the only reasonable thing to do.  She couldn’t think of anyone else who’d need them, either.  So Amanda was the only logical choice.

The kitchen door opened, and she glanced up from where she was sitting in the parlor to see who’d come in.  She didn’t think it’d be Fanny, but who knew if Fanny wanted to give her another talk on chastity within marriage?

She caught sight of Jesse as he grabbed the pitcher of water and breathed a sigh of relief.  Good.  It was just him.  She leaned back on the couch and continued sewing.  She listened as he poured himself a glass of water.  After a few seconds, he poured another one.  Her eyes grew wide.  The poor man must’ve worked up a real thirst out there in the barn.

She thought he might go to bed, as he had the other nights, but he came into the parlor.  He sat in the chair and crossed his legs, drumming his fingers on the chair’s arm.

“Did you want the couch?” she asked when he didn’t say anything.

He turned his gaze away from the ceiling and looked at her, his expression surprisingly serious.  Not that he wasn’t serious already, but he seemed even more so at the moment.

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked, lowering the cloth.

“No, you didn’t,” he assured her.  “But things need to change around here.”

What on earth could he be talking about?

He stopped drumming the chair’s arm and straightened up.  “I don’t want things to be the way they were when Elsie was alive.”

She held her breath.  Did he notice she was attracted to him?  Was he going to tell her to put a stop to it at once?  But how did a woman do such a thing?  It wasn’t like she’d planned on it.  It’d just happened.

“Remember during dinner when you said you took that bowl of soup to Fanny?” he asked.

Relieved his thoughts hadn’t been going in the direction she’d feared, she nodded.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it.  I did what I could to please Fanny because of Elsie.  And now you’re trying to please Fanny because you want to make things easier for me and Elliot.  Fanny’s been getting her way all these years.  Until tonight, I didn’t realize how angry I was with Elsie for not being firm with her when she should have been.”

“You were angry with Elsie?” Laura blurted out.  Never once during any time on the wagon trail had she picked up on this.

“I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but yes, I was angry with her.  Elsie was wonderful.  Don’t get me wrong.  I loved her.  I still do.  It’s just that she let Fanny get away with whatever she wanted.  I didn’t want to upset Elsie, so I didn’t argue with her.  I just pushed my anger down until I didn’t realize it was there.  But now I know the anger was there.  I don’t want that to happen this time.  I don’t want you to be angry because I don’t have enough courage to put a stop to Fanny’s manipulations.”

“I’m not angry with you, Jesse,” Laura assured him, picking the cloth back up and resuming her sewing.  “You can’t control what Fanny does.”

“I might not be able to control what she does, but I can control where she’s at when she does it.  I gave her an ultimatum.  If she doesn’t start showing you respect, then I’m going to send her back home to her family.  I’ve had enough of this.  It’s not healthy for you.  It’s not healthy for Elliot.  It’s not healthy for me, either.  It has to stop.  I’m in the position where I can do something about it.  And I will.  I’m not going to do the same thing Elsie did.  We might have a marriage of convenience, but you’re still my wife, and it’s my job to do everything I can to protect you from people like Fanny.”

With a nod indicating he’d said all that was on his mind, he rose to his feet.

“You let me know the next time Fanny steps out of line, alright?” he asked.

“Yes,” she whispered.  “Alright.”

Seeming to be satisfied, he wished her a good night’s sleep and went to his bedroom.

She watched him, both in shock and admiration.  She’d never seen him take an assertive stance like this before.  Yes, he’d told Fanny when she stepped out of line, and he’d done his part to stand up for her and Elliot.  But this was different.  There was a resolve about him that wouldn’t weaken under pressure.  He was going to do exactly as he said.

A few minutes passed before she was able to return to her sewing.  If this new determination of his was something new, what other new things might she expect in the future?

Chapter Thirteen

The next morning as Jesse waited for Laura to finish getting breakfast ready, he took Elliot out to the porch and held him up so he could see the land in front of them.

“You see that?” he asked the boy, pointing to the barn, animals, and acres of crops he’d planted that were growing nicely.  “One day all of this will be yours.  It was my dream to leave you something lasting, something you can pass on to your own children.  That’s why your mother and I made the trip all the way out here.”

“Mama,” Elliot said and looked at the door that led to the kitchen.

“Well, yes.  She’s your mother now.”

He brushed back the thick hair from his son’s forehead, and noted the eyes that reminded him so much of Elsie.

“When you’re older, I’ll tell you about your real mother,” he promised, “but you’re right.  Laura is also your mother.  From the day you were born, she wanted to take care of you.  I doubt many women would want to take on such a task.” His mind unwittingly went to Fanny.  “This isn’t exactly the easiest family to be a part of.  Laura must really love you to put up with all of this.”

Elliot squirmed to get down, and he sighed.  Sometimes he missed it when Elliot was so little he was happy just to be held.  There had been nights when Jesse found it hard to sleep, and he’d take Elliot to the rocking chair and rock back and forth, his mind drifting to nowhere in particular, until both were able to sleep.  Or he’d put Elliot in a sack he’d made and strap Elliot to his chest and do his chores.

But now Elliot was too big for such things.  He wanted to be on his own and explore the world around him.  He couldn’t fault Elliot for that.  It was the way things were meant to be.  Everything was in a constant state of change.  He only wished children didn’t have to grow up so fast.

Elliot crawled over to the posts along the porch and pulled himself to his feet.  He shook it hard enough where he ended up losing his balance and falling on his behind.  With wide eyes, he looked up at Jesse.

Jesse chuckled.  “It’s going to be a while before you’re strong enough to break it.  But,” he added as he held his hands out to him, “I hope you decide not to break it.  It took a lot of work to build this place.”

Elliot took his hands, and Jesse helped him to his feet.  Jesse took a step back so Elliot could take one forward, and this seemed like an activity Elliot was happy to do.  At the very least, he wasn’t trying to find something else to do instead.

“You might find this hard to believe,” Jesse began, “but since you were born early, a couple of people said you’d be slower than other children.  They expected you to learn to walk later, to talk later…to do everything later.  It bothered your grandmother, but it never bothered me.  You know why?  Because it’s more important you learn to do something than how soon you learn it.”

Elliot took a step too far out and lost his balance.  Jesse quickly pulled him back up before he fell.

“That all said, though,” Jesse added as Elliot took a smaller step, “you’re sure learning things faster than those people thought you would.  You survived a difficult birth, and you’re learning to walk before you turn one.  You, Elliot, are proof that miracles do happen.”

Elliot looked over at the door, and a wide smile crossed his face.  “Mama!”

Jesse glanced over his shoulder and saw Laura standing in the doorway, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief.

“I’m sorry,” she said.  “I know I shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but everything you told him was so beautiful.  I didn’t think it was possible for a father to love his child as much as you do.”

He picked Elliot up.  “I’m sure other fathers feel the same way about their children.” Then, remembering that the relationship she had with her own father was less than ideal, he amended, “Or at least some of them do.”

“I’m glad you’re one of them who does.  In fact, it was one of the reasons I wanted to marry you.  You’re a nice person.”

At that, he laughed.  “I don’t feel like a nice person when I’m around Fanny.”

“I don’t know if anyone can be nice when they’re around her,” she said.  “She has a way of unsettling people.”

That was an understatement.  But he’d rather not think about the woman.  He’d been having a good morning, and he didn’t want anything to spoil his mood.

As if she understood, Laura cleared her throat and tucked her handkerchief into her pocket.  “Anyway, I came to tell you breakfast is ready.” She held the door open for them and smiled.

Returning her smile, he followed her into the house.

***

Two days later, Jesse was browsing the rope catalogue in the mercantile when he heard a familiar voice call out, “Jesse Palmer, is that you?”

Jesse glanced up and saw Joe Otto.  With a smile, he shook his hand.  “Yes, it’s me.  I didn’t think I’d ever see you again after you brought us to Omaha last year.”

“I just finished bringing in a few more families to Omaha.”

“So soon?”

“They were from Iowa.” He grinned.  “I’m due to lead some people from here to some free land further out west.  A lot more people are doing what you are.  Building homesteads they plan to leave to their children.”

“How far out west are you going?”

“Not far.  It’ll take a month or two to get to where everyone wants to go.” Joe shrugged and leaned against the counter.  “I figure it’s easy money.”

“So what do you do when you’re not leading a wagon train?” Surely, Joe didn’t earn enough doing that to sustain a living for an entire year.

“I do odd jobs.”

“Do you do anything people ask you to do?”

“Only if it’s outside.  I don’t like being stuck indoors.  I grow restless.  Hey, do you have any jobs you need doing?”

“I can’t afford anything,” Jesse said, even though it pained him to have to say it aloud.

“What about room and board?  I’m not due to leave here for another week, and it’d help me out if I didn’t have to pay for a hotel and livery stable while I’m here.”

“As long as you don’t mind a lumpy couch, you can sleep on the one I got.”

“I sleep on the ground most of the time.  A couch won’t bother me, no matter how many lumps it has.”

“Great.  I’d like to get another fence put up since I have a cow who just gave me a calf.  I had no idea animals could eat so much grass in a day, and the new addition will be eating grass soon enough.”

“I can put in the fence for you,” Joe agreed.  “You got supplies?”

“I have some from the ones you helped me get last year.” Jesse hesitated but figured the savings he might be able to get from Joe’s friend would help ease his financial burden.  “I don’t suppose that friend of yours would be willing to sell me fencing supplies at a discount, would he?”

“He will.  He owes me a favor since I talked a businessman back East into giving him lumber for cheap.”

Jesse didn’t hide his relief, though he couldn’t help but be curious about all of Joe’s connections.  “How do you do it?  I mean, you seem to know everyone.”

“It’s all the odd jobs I do.  I go through the country and do whatever work there is when I’m not leading wagon trains.  After a while, I meet people who make enough profit they feel led to be generous.”

“I wish I made enough of a profit so I could do that.”

“You’re just starting out.  These men are in their forties and fifties.  They’ve been around for a while.  When you’re just starting out, you’re bound to have less.” He patted Jesse’s shoulder.  “I remember your situation.  You had a lot to go through.  You, of all people, needed the help, and the men were more than happy to do it, especially when they learned you lost your wife and had a baby and a mother-in-law to care for.  Speaking of which, how are things?”

“Better.  Well,” Jesse quickly amended, “better as far as feeling like things have gotten stable.  I planted some crops and am comfortable with taking care of all the animals.  I still have a lot to learn about running a homestead, but I enjoy it.”

“How’s your boy?”

“Good.  Elliot’s healthy and happy.”

“That’s a relief.  He was born so early I wasn’t sure he’d make it.  I’m glad he did.  You didn’t need to lose him on top of losing your wife.”

Jesse nodded, appreciating the concern Joe had shown to him during that rough time in his life.  But all that was over, and he had Laura now.  “Oh, I have good news.  I got remarried.”

Joe’s eyebrows rose in surprise.  “Did you?”

“Just recently.  Remember Laura Rufus?”

“The one with the parents who never smiled?”

Jesse hadn’t thought of her parents that way before, but the description fit.  He chuckled.  “Yes, that’s her.”

“I liked Laura.  She was nothing like her parents.” Joe smiled.  “Congratulations.  I think she’ll make you a good wife.  It’ll be nice to talk to her.” After a moment, he asked, “Is she still friends with Amanda Larson?”

“They’re good enough friends for Amanda and Richard to come over for a visit.” Jesse thought he saw Joe’s smile falter a moment but then decided he imagined it.  Joe had done a lot of traveling.  No doubt he was tired.  “Do you want to come out with me to my house today?”

“Sure, but first, I’ll take you to that friend of mine who has those fence supplies you need.”

With a nod, Jesse put the catalogue back on the counter.  It’d be nice having Joe around, even if it would be for a brief time.  He just hoped Laura wouldn’t be upset with him for inviting him to stay with them for a week.

***

Laura let out a gasp and ran out of the house to welcome Joe.  “I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again,” she greeted as she gave him a hug.

With a chuckle, Joe hugged her in return.  “I come back and forth between here and Omaha almost every year.”

Pulling away from him, she asked, “You do?”

He nodded.  “I’m most familiar with the wagon trail routes around here.  It’s why I get sent to lead the journey out here as often as I do, but there’s talk about putting in a railroad station in Omaha.  I expect things will change after that.”

“Really?” She tucked a stray strand of blonde hair that had fallen out of her bun then crossed her arms.  “How so?”

“Well, trains can get people from place to place faster than horses can.  Trains can run day and night without getting tired, and as trains get more popular, the price of tickets will come down, making travel more affordable.”

“You think there’s going to come a day when people won’t be taking the wagon trails anymore?”

“Yes, and it’ll probably be here sooner than we think.”

It was hard to imagine such a day coming, but since Joe did this for a living, he knew this stuff better than she did.  Noting that Jesse was putting the horses and wagon away, she turned back to Joe.  “Will you be staying here?”

“Only for a week.  Is that alright?”

“Yes, of course.” She smiled and gestured for him to join her in the house.  “Come on in and make yourself at home.  Do you still drink coffee?”

“All the time.  It’s the only thing that keeps me going on most days.”

Laughing, Laura said, “I got into the habit of drinking it.  I’ll get you a cup.”

“Jesse said you two married so you could take care of Elliot,” Joe said as they went into the house.

“Yes, I wanted to be a mother to him.  I had been coming out a couple times a week to take care of him, but being a mother is much more rewarding.”

“How old is Elliot?”

“Eleven months.  Almost twelve.”

“Already?”

Amused, she nodded.  “I know.  I can hardly believe it, either.  And what’s more, he’s curious about the world.”

“I don’t blame him.  I’m the same way.  It’s why I like leading the wagon trains.”

She led him to the kitchen and motioned for him to sit while she grabbed three cups, figuring Jesse would like one when he joined them.  As she poured them, she glanced over at Joe.  “What will you do if trains take over your job?”

Joe shrugged.  “I hadn’t thought that far.  I’ve worked on the rails, putting down the tracks.  It was good work, but it doesn’t allow for a change of scenery.” He glanced around the room.  “Where’s Elliot?”

“Oh, he’s taking a nap.”

“I should lower my voice so I don’t wake him.”

She waved his comment aside.  “It’s time he got up.  I don’t like it when he sleeps too late.  He’ll never go to bed early if he does that.”

“I really hope I’m not imposing by staying here,” Joe said as she gave him his cup.  “I don’t want to intrude, especially since you and Jesse are married.”

She felt heat rise up to her face.  Did he sense she was attracted to Jesse?

The front door opened, and she fully expected Jesse to come into the kitchen.  But it was Fanny who barged in instead.

“What are you doing here?” Fanny blurted out.  “Coming to take Laura out of here, I hope.”

Laura was sure her face turned bright red.  Joe’s eyes widened in surprise, and she could only guess what he was thinking.  Why didn’t Fanny ever keep her mouth shut?  It seemed all she ever did was embarrass people.

“He’s visiting,” Laura said once she found her voice.

“Yes,” Joe added, glancing at Laura, his eyebrows raised.  “I’m getting ready to lead a wagon train further out west.”

Fanny let out a humph and plopped down in the seat next to him.  “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to take her with you.”

“Fanny!” Laura snapped, slamming the other two cups on the table.

“Oh, don’t act so innocent,” Fanny shot back.  “I see the way you’re eyeing Joe.  You want him.  You’re giving him the same smile you gave Jesse when you set out to seduce him.”

Laura sharply inhaled.  “I am not!” She glanced at Joe.  “I don’t think of you that way.”

“I know you don’t,” Joe assured her.

Laura relaxed, but only a little.

“It’s no secret you don’t mind other men’s wives,” Fanny said, turning to face Joe.  “I remember how infatuated you were with Richard Larson’s wife.”

Now it was Joe whose face went red.  “I didn’t do anything about that.”

Laura recalled how in love he’d been with Amanda, but he was right: he’d never done anything about it.  “Fanny, it doesn’t matter what people feel.  What matters is what they do.”

Fanny let out a snort and glanced at her.  “Don’t let him fool you.  I overheard him telling Amanda he’d wait for her outside one of the hotels so they could run off together.  He’s not as innocent as he claims.”

Laura expected him to deny it, but he didn’t.

Instead, he said, “That was a long time ago.”

Laura noted the embarrassment in his expression.  He hadn’t been proud of himself for doing it.  It was obvious he regretted it.

“That’s enough,” Laura told the woman.  “I won’t have you treating my guest in such a way.  If you can’t have the common courtesy to be nice, then you can go back to your home.”

“See that?” Fanny gestured to Laura, her gaze going back to Joe.  “That’s how I’m treated around here.  I’m constantly pushed aside.  Whatever happened to people respecting their elders?”

“To get respect, you have to earn it,” Laura replied through gritted teeth.

Fanny snorted.  “That’s high and mighty talk for someone who slept with a man before marrying him.”

“I did no such thing!”

“Then why did you tell your father you did?”

“Because he wouldn’t have let me stay married to Jesse any other—”

Laura stopped as soon as she remembered Joe was still there.  Why was she doing this?  All the times she used to watch Jesse argue with Fanny, she had wondered why he insisted on talking to her when she provoked him.  But now she understood.  Fanny brought out the worst in people.  And worse, there was no way of dealing with her.

Taking a moment to regroup, Laura smoothed out her skirt and turned back to Joe.  “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Joe softly replied, compassion in his eyes.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, grateful he understood.  Well, he probably knew how things were with Fanny, especially since she’d come out and given him a difficult time about Amanda.  Fanny, it seemed, gave everyone a hard time.

“Fanny,” Laura began, “if you can’t say anything nice, then you need to leave.”

Fanny didn’t look the least bit pleased, but, thankfully, she rose from the chair and stormed out of the house.

Relieved, Laura sighed.  “I don’t know why I thought things would get easier with her.”

“I remember what she was like on the trail,” Joe said then took a sip from his coffee.  “She made everyone miserable.  It’s sad that hasn’t changed.  But,” he shifted in his chair, “I have changed.  I’m not here to ask Amanda Larson to run off with me.”

With a smile, Laura sat down.  “I didn’t think you were.”

Joe took another drink from his cup, this one longer than the one before.  “Is Amanda happy?”

Laura nodded.  “Richard’s been good to her.”

“I thought he’d be.  I’m glad the two are together.  I really am.”

“I believe you, Joe.  You don’t need to keep telling me that.”

The door opened again, and this time Jesse was the one who entered the house.  Laura released her breath.  Good.  It wasn’t Fanny coming back for another argument.

“Would you like some coffee?” she asked Jesse as she rose to her feet.

“A cup sounds good,” Jesse replied.

He glanced between her and Joe, and she could only guess what was going through his mind.  Surely, he knew there was no romantic spark between them.  No, of course not.  Neither she nor Joe had ever shared any kind of attraction for one another.  Not any of the time on the trail, and certainly not now.

Though Joe had accepted Amanda’s marriage, there was still the hint of longing in his tone when he talked about her.  Maybe Jesse sensed she and Joe had something in common.  They both wanted people they could never have.  It was just that she was married to the object of her unrequited love.

She handed Jesse his cup.  “I’ll make more for supper,” she told the men, noting there wasn’t much left in the pot.  “Speaking of which, I was thinking of making fried chicken and mashed potatoes.” She knew Jesse liked the meal, so she glanced at Joe to make sure it was fine with him.

“That sounds good,” Joe told her.

“Joe,” Jesse began, “do you mind if I talk to Laura alone for a moment?”

“No, I don’t mind.” Joe finished his cup and handed it to her.  “I’d like to sort out the fencing material.  Might as well make myself useful.”

Laura grinned at his joke but waited until he was gone before turning to Jesse.  “Is everything alright?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Jesse replied.  “I offered to let Joe stay out here for a week.  I didn’t think to ask you first.  I’m sorry.  I need to remember that I have a wife, and I need to take her wishes into consideration.  That is, your wishes.”

She smiled.  “I like Joe.  I don’t mind it if he stays for a week.  In fact, he’s welcome here whenever you want to invite him over.”

“That won’t be often.  He stayed with me for a couple weeks last year while I was building the houses.”

“I remember.” Since he was shifting from one foot to the other, she asked, “Is there something else?”

“Well, I thought I’d let him sleep on the couch in the parlor.”

“That’s fine.”

He paused, tapping his fingers on the cup.  “I didn’t tell him we have the kind of marriage we do.  I told him we married so Elliot could have a mother, but I didn’t go into any of the details.”

“It’s none of his business,” she replied, not sure what kind of response he wanted.  “I didn’t tell him about how things are between us, either.”

“If he sees your bed in Elliot’s room, he might think that’s odd.  It’s not something a normal married couple would do.”

“He hasn’t been in the bedrooms to see what’s there or not there.”

“Good.  I was hoping he didn’t.” He paused then asked, “Do you mind if I put your bed in my room until he leaves?  That way, if he happens to go by the rooms, he won’t think anything strange is going on?”

Surprised he should be concerned about something so silly, she chuckled.  “You know, it’s not a crime that we’re not really husband and wife.”

“Yeah, I know, but I don’t feel like going into explaining the situation in case he asks about it.  The topic would go to Elsie, and I don’t feel like bringing her up.”

Her smile faltered.  “Is it still painful for you to think about her?”

“Sometimes.  Having Joe here is great.  I really could use his help with the fence, and he is a friend.  But he was there when she died, and he arranged her funeral, as rushed as it was.  I would have an easier time with things if the conversation didn’t have to go in that direction.”

“I understand,” she softly replied.  She should have expected Joe’s visit to bring up unwanted aspects of the past.  “I’ll get Elliot up, and then you can move my bed into your room.”

“Thank you.”

Noting the relief on his face, she gave him another smile.  This was one of those times she wanted to hug him, to let him know it was alright to be human, to open himself up to being comforted.  But they didn’t have that kind of relationship.  Even if they had a solid friendship, there was that gap between them.  She didn’t know if he was aware of it, but she was.  There was only so much she could do with him, and she would abide by the silent boundaries they had agreed to when they married.

Chapter Fourteen

It was with nervous excitement that Laura went to bed that evening.  She had no idea what to expect, except that the beds weren’t together, signaling this marriage was going to continue as it had been.  Which was exactly as it should be.  There hadn’t been any expectations that more would ever come from the marriage.

It was easier, however, to remind herself of this when it was daytime.  Now that it was night, she had to go to bed, and there was no escaping how close she and Jesse would soon be.  From the parlor, she heard Jesse and Joe discuss the plan for working on the fence the next day.

Laura slipped into her bed and closed her eyes.  Maybe if she pretended to be asleep, things wouldn’t be quite so awkward.  She wouldn’t have to say good-night to Jesse or try to think of some other way to ease the tension.  He could simply come into the room and get into his own bed.  Then soon, he’d be asleep, and when morning came, she could leave the room first.  After that, things would go back to normal.

Feeling much better about this new plan, she kept her eyes shut.  Even when she heard the doorknob turn, she didn’t dare open them.  She heard Jesse shuffle into the room, and despite her better judgment, she dared a peek at him.

His back was turned to her, and in the dim light coming through the window, she saw that his shoulders were slumped.   Did he always come to bed this way, looking as if life had dealt him one hard blow after another?  It wasn’t that he put on a brave face during the day.  She could see how much sorrow had weighed him down.  She just hadn’t been aware it’d taken this kind of toll on him.

What he really needed was for someone to show him he wasn’t alone in the world, that the weight of the world didn’t have to set squarely on his shoulders.  But would he welcome such comfort from her?  She wasn’t Elsie.

He removed his shirt and denims, which only left him in his undershirt and drawers.  Her skin warmed.  She hadn’t seen his bare legs before, but they were just as strong as his arms.   She waited for him to put on nightclothes, but he only got into bed.

She quickly shut her eyes before he noticed she’d been staring at him in the most impure manner possible.  She swallowed, her heart racing as she waited for him to call her out, to let her know he knew full well that she’d been watching him the entire time.  But thankfully, he didn’t.

She was surprised he wasn’t wearing more at bedtime since she was in the room with him.  She had chosen to wear a nightgown that covered her from her neck to her ankles for this very reason.  This wasn’t the kind of marriage where either of them should be indiscreet.  In fact, the very fact that they were in the same bedroom made a good case as to why they should both be appropriately attired.

Unless, of course, he had no attraction to her and assumed she had no attraction to him, either.  If that was the case, the lack of clothing would probably not matter.  Which only reinforced the fact that she was the only one who had these feelings.

Disappointed, she rolled onto her side so she was no longer facing him.  Then she opened her eyes and stared at the wall in front of her.

She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to sleep tonight.  Even with her back turned to him, she was too aware of him.  If she knew how to suppress her feelings, then this whole thing wouldn’t be so difficult.

***

Somehow, she did manage to drift off to sleep.  But, at some point in the night, something woke her.  She rolled onto her back, trying to figure out what it was.  Elliot didn’t make it a habit of waking up in the middle of the night.  Maybe it was Joe.  He could be getting a cup of water in the kitchen.

In the other bed, Jesse let out a distressed cry.  Shocked, she bolted to her feet and ran over to him.  He was struggling to get out of his sheets, which had wrapped around his body during the course of the night.

“Jesse?” she whispered.  She sat next to him and shook his arms to help wake him from his nightmare.  “Jesse?”

His eyes flew open, and he searched the room as if he didn’t know where he was.

“It was bad dream,” she said.  “You’re safe in bed.  It’s alright.”

He finally looked at her, and she could tell a part of him was still trapped in the nightmare.  She brushed back the blond strands of hair from his forehead then traced the side of his face, briefly noting the stubble along his jaw.  The action was meant to soothe and comfort, but something in his eyes told her it was eliciting a different kind of response, one that caused her heart to race in excitement.

She was quickly approaching a threshold that, once crossed, would change the way things currently were between them.  And while she might welcome the change, she didn’t think he would.

Clearing her throat, she removed her hand.  “Are you feeling better now?”

He blinked, and in the next instant, the flicker of desire was gone from his eyes.  He rubbed his forehead and nodded.  “I’m fine.  I was dreaming.”

“It must have been a terrible dream.”

“It was.  I haven’t had it in months.”

She waited to see if he’d tell her what the dream was about, but since he didn’t, she decided she wouldn’t press him to find out.  “Well, it’s over now.” Unsure of what to do next, she glanced around the room then lowered her gaze back to him, her face warm when she realized he was still watching her.  “Do you think you can go back to sleep?”

“I think so.” He swallowed then released his breath.  “Maybe.”

Well, he didn’t look frantic like he had when she’d woken him up.  That was good.  Feeling better, she rose to her feet, ready to go back to her bed.

“Laura?” he asked.

She turned to him.  “What is it?”

“Would you mind pushing your bed up against mine?” Before she could respond, he added, “I know it sounds silly.  I’m a grown man, and I should be able to handle a nightmare without having someone right next to me.  I mean, I’ve had nightmares when you weren’t here, but I could never get back to sleep.  Maybe with you nearby, I can.”

Put her bed up with his?  Was that a good idea?  It was hard enough for her to be in this room without giving into thoughts of kisses and all the other things Fanny’s booklet warned against.  She glanced over at her bed.  She hadn’t been sleeping much anyway.  Did it really matter if she was closer to him than she’d been before?

“Alright,” she decided, hoping he didn’t detect the underlying anticipation in her voice.  God help her, but she wanted to be closer to him.  If she had to do it under the pretense of helping him get back to sleep, so be it.  “I’ll put our beds together.”

“Thank you.”

She wasn’t sure if he should be thanking her.  Her motives weren’t the least bit pure.  But she kept her thoughts to herself as she scooted her bed up to his.  She settled back on her bed, not sure if she should stay right in the middle of the bed or if she should cuddle up to him.

Fortunately, he saved her the dilemma by asking, “Can I hold you?”

“Of course,” she replied, sure this time he could tell her voice was shaky.

“You don’t mind, do you?”

“No, I don’t mind.”

Then, to prove her point, she scooted over to him.  He took her in his arms, his embrace as warm and comfortable as she’d imagined it’d be.  What she hadn’t been prepared for, however, was the way her skin tingled with excitement.  She didn’t know how she was going to be able to sleep at all now.

Being with him so intimately was much better than she’d expected.  And she saw no reason why she couldn’t enjoy it.  As foolish as it might be, she started to entertain thoughts that they had a real marriage and he was holding her because he wanted her—really wanted her.  The problem with such thoughts, though, was that once she dared to entertain them, she wasn’t able to let them go.

***

The next day, right after he finished eating breakfast, Joe suggested they get started on the fence.  “I’ll meet you out there,” he told Jesse before he headed on out.

“There’s one thing I’ll say about him,” Laura said as she collected the dirty dishes.  “He likes to stay busy.”

“Yes, he does.” Jesse finished the last of his water then put the glass on the table.  “I wonder why he didn’t wait for me?”

She shrugged.  “Maybe he had to use the privy?”

“Maybe.”

After telling her good-bye, he kissed Elliot on the head and left the house.  By the time he reached the area of land by the barn, Joe was already putting on a thick pair of gloves.

“You didn’t have to run out of there,” Jesse told him as he retrieved his own pair.

“I didn’t feel like watching you two kiss,” Joe replied.  “Not that I can’t be romantic, but right now, the last thing I feel like doing is being in the same room with newlyweds who are saying good-bye.”

Thinking Joe’s words were odd, especially since he’d kept expecting Joe to bring up Elsie, Jesse chuckled.  “We weren’t going to kiss.”

“I couldn’t be sure.  Laura keeps looking at you like she wants you to.”

Jesse laughed even more.  “No, she doesn’t.”

Joe shot him an amused smile.  “Well, I’m sure she’s watching herself because I’m here, but there’s no denying how much she was looking forward to the good-bye kiss.”

“You haven’t been getting a lot of sleep lately, have you?”

“I rarely get a lot of sleep.  There’s little time for it in my line of work.”

“Sometimes if you don’t get enough sleep, you see things that aren’t there.”

Joe lifted one of the posts.  “I’ll hold these things while you pound them into the ground.  Where do you want the fence?”

Jesse grabbed the sledgehammer and gestured to a rectangular area to the side of the barn.  “I think over here will be a good spot.”

With a nod, Joe carried the post and set it upright.  “I’m ready whenever you are.”

Jesse followed him and pounded the post into the ground.  After he tested it to make sure it was sturdy, he glanced over at Joe.  “Do you think it’s wrong I married Laura?”

Joe’s eyebrows rose in surprise.  “No.  Why would you ask that?”

Jesse joined Joe as he grabbed another post.  “I don’t know.  I mean, widowers marry so their children can have a mother.  It’s not uncommon.”

Jesse bit his tongue.  What was he doing?  Didn’t he just get through telling Laura the last thing he wanted to talk about was Elsie while Joe was here?  So why was he leading into a conversation that could very well go in that direction?  Why couldn’t he just be content that Joe assumed there was more to his marriage with Laura than there really was?

“Are you worried you’re being unfaithful to Elsie by taking another wife?” Joe asked as he set the next post on the ground.

Thankful for the excuse to hold off on answering the question, Jesse pounded the next post into the ground.  Once he made sure the post was secure, he noticed Joe was waiting for a reply, so he said, “I loved Elsie.  A part of me still does.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean you can’t move on and enjoy what you have with Laura.  Laura’s nice and pretty.  It’s natural you’d fall in love with her.”

Jesse didn’t recall saying anything about being in love with Laura.  He’d specifically mentioned loving Elsie.

“Love is a complicated thing,” Joe continued as he grabbed another post.  “I don’t understand it, either.  From all the traveling I’ve done, I’ve noticed that the landscape changes.  No one place looks exactly like another.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the scenery while you’re at a certain spot.  If you have to leave that spot, you’ll be miserable if you don’t open yourself up to enjoying the beauty that’s somewhere else.  Life is too short to get stuck in one place.  It’s alright to move on.  And Jesse, in your situation, you didn’t have a choice.”

But he didn’t have that kind of marriage with Laura.  There wasn’t any look she was giving him that indicated she wanted him to kiss her.  It was all in Joe’s mind.  And that made this whole conversation pointless.  Besides, he wasn’t ready to love again.  He had too many other things to do.  He had to bring in a good crop so he could pay his bills.  He had to tend to the animals.  He had to make sure Fanny didn’t bother Laura.  He had enough on his mind without complicating things.

“You ready to pound this one in?” Joe asked, breaking Jesse out of his thoughts.

Blinking, Jesse turned back to the task at hand.  Good.  He could focus on something concrete.  Work was always a good distraction.  So that’s what he chose to do.  Work.  Then, and only then, did the rest of his doubts slip back into his subconscious mind.

Chapter Fifteen

The next day, since Fanny said she wanted to spend time with Elliot, Laura decided she would go to town.

“Are you sure you don’t mind if I go?” Laura asked Jesse as he hitched the horse to the buggy.

Jesse glanced over at her and smiled.  “No, I don’t mind.  You’re allowed to go into town whenever you want.”

She chuckled.  “Well, yes, I know I’m allowed to go.  I just feel strange about not taking Elliot with me.”

“I’m here in case Fanny gets tired and needs to rest,” he said.  “I think you should go.  See Amanda and have a good time.”

She relaxed.  Now that she was Elliot’s mother, she had a difficult time letting him out of her sight.  But Fanny was his grandmother, and she had an obligation to let Fanny spend time with him.  That, however, didn’t mean she had to be with Fanny, too.

The last thing she wanted was another confrontation with her, especially with Joe visiting.  She was certain Joe had been as embarrassed by everything Fanny had said as she’d been, which was an even bigger reason why she needed to stay as far from Fanny as possible.

“Is there anything you’d like me to bring back?” she asked Jesse.  “I was thinking of stopping by the mercantile and picking up a couple things.”

“Would you rather take the wagon?”

“No.  I only need a couple items.  Flour, sugar, baking soda, and coffee.” She paused when she realized he probably didn’t find the list as interesting as she did.  “Anyway, it’s only a few things.  It’ll fit in the buggy.”

He nodded.  “Coffee is the only thing I can think of, and you’re already getting that.  You can just tell the owner to add it to my account.  I’ll pay him later.”

He’d already explained how she was to handle the payment with the mercantile owner, but considering the fact that he’d woken up with another nightmare, she figured he’d forgotten.  She had pulled their beds apart the evening before, figuring he wouldn’t want to keep sleeping so close to her.  But when he’d had another nightmare, she decided to put the beds back together.  And he had seemed to sleep well after that.

As she watched him finish getting the buggy ready, she couldn’t help but wonder what the objects of his nightmares were.

When he was done, he patted the horse’s neck then walked over to her.  “You’re all set.”

“Thank you.”

She expected to help herself in, but he offered her his hand.  Knowing very well what effect touching him would have, she placed her hand in his and let him help her in.  It was getting harder and harder to fight her desire to be with him, which wasn’t good.  She was doing her best to conceal her feelings, but the stronger they got, the more difficult it was to do so.

Once she was in the seat, he released her hand, and she breathed a sigh of relief.  What if she couldn’t keep up this charade?  What if he found out and resented her for lying to him, for making him believe she would never try to come between him and Elsie?

“I hope you have a good visit with Amanda,” Jesse said, interrupting her thoughts.

“Thank you,” she forced out.

If he had any idea, any idea at all, how she’d been thinking about him, she doubted he’d be smiling at her right now.  But she managed a smile in return, simply because it wasn’t so awkward that way, and snapped the reins on the horse so it’d lead her forward.  On her way off the property, she caught sight of Joe as he hammered one of the stakes into the ground and waved a greeting to him.  He nodded in return then went back to work.

Jesse joined him, and he removed his shirt so that he was only wearing his undershirt and threw the shirt to the ground.  She recalled the way those bare arms felt around her at night.  Had it been wrong for her to enjoy being held by him?  Was she somehow crossing an invisible barrier by holding onto the memory of his embrace?

It wasn’t until he was out of sight that she was able to focus on the path ahead of her.  Why couldn’t she have more restraint?  Why did she feel so helpless when it came to him?  She should be able to put aside her personal feelings.  It seemed like such a simple thing when she wasn’t near him.  But whenever he was near…  She closed her eyes and released her breath.  She prayed Amanda would know what to do.

She reached town in good time.  The pleasant weather had made the trip a smooth one.  Too bad her emotions weren’t quite so easy to manage.  Once she found a spot in front of Amanda’s apartment building, she secured the brake then tied the reins to the post.  She gave the horse a pat on its neck then went up to the door that would take her into the building.  Remembering the pamphlet Fanny had given her, she paused.

Glancing around to make sure no one was watching her, she dug it out of her pocket.  She’d die of embarrassment if Jesse ever saw this thing, and he’d come close to seeing it when he moved her bed into his room.  Thankfully, she’d tucked it securely enough so it hadn’t fallen from its hiding spot.

She threw the thing into the trashcan by the apartment door.  When she saw no one had noticed her, she released her breath and went into the apartment building.  Good.  Now no one would find her with it.  She hadn’t read it, nor would she ever read anything like it.  If Fanny thought it was something she should do, then it definitely wasn’t something she should do.

She hurried into the apartment building and climbed the stairs.  Once she was at Amanda’s door, she knocked on it, hoping Amanda was there.

Fortunately, Amanda opened the door.  With a smile, she waved her in.  “Hi, Laura.  It’s good to see you.  Where’s Elliot?”

“Fanny wanted to spend time with him.” She entered the apartment, waited for a moment, then blurted out, “Something terrible has happened.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve fallen in love with Jesse, and I don’t know what to do about it,” Laura said.

Amanda shut the door and turned to her.  “I think you were in love with him before you married him.”

Laura was about to sit on the couch but stopped when she realized Amanda was serious.  “No, I wasn’t.  I only thought of him as a friend.”

“I know that’s what you told yourself, but I could tell otherwise.  Would you like some coffee, tea, or water?” Amanda asked as she went to the kitchen.

Laura followed her.  “How could you tell?”

Amanda shrugged and grabbed two cups from the shelf.  “I’m not sure, to be honest.  It was just something in your voice and the way you’d smile whenever you mentioned him.”

No, there was no way Amanda could know.  Maybe she wanted it to be true, but she couldn’t know.  No one could know how someone else was feeling unless that person came out and said it.

“What would you like to drink?” Amanda asked.

“I’ll drink whatever you drink,” Laura decided.  She didn’t care what it was.  She’d come here to make a confession that was supposed to surprise Amanda, not confirm what Amanda already knew.

Amanda chuckled.  “It’s unsettling when someone can tell things about you that even you don’t know, isn’t it?”

“Well,” Laura accepted the coffee, “yes, it is.”

“Now you know how I felt on the wagon trail when you kept coming up to me and talking about me and Richard.”

Laura thought back to the previous summer and realized her friend was right.  She had made it a point to tell Amanda everything she’d noticed.  “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable by saying those things.”

“I know you didn’t, and I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable just now, either.  I’m surprised it took you this long to admit how you feel about Jesse.”

“I honestly didn’t think I’d ever feel anything but a comfortable friendship with him before we married.”

“I believe you.  I think it’s easier to tell how other people feel because we can be objective about them.”

“You’re probably right.” Laura took a sip of the coffee then followed Amanda to the couch where they sat down.  “I don’t know what to do about it.  I told Jesse it would only be a marriage of convenience.  I can’t just come out and tell him I changed my mind.”

“Why not?”

“It’d be embarrassing.  I made such a big deal out of it being a partnership instead of a romantic relationship.” She let out an uneasy laugh.  “And besides, he loves Elsie.  I don’t want to take Elsie’s place.”

“Of course, you don’t.  No woman wants to fill in a spot meant for another woman.  She wants her own place in her husband’s heart.  But you will either tell him how you feel or you won’t.  Those are the only two options you have.”

Amanda was right.  It really was that simple.  And yet, it also that complicated.  “I can’t do it,” Laura finally decided.  “I can’t tell him.  I can’t make him feel like he has to choose between me and Elsie.  It isn’t fair to him.  I’m going to keep my feelings to myself and just hope he doesn’t notice things as well as you do.”

There.  Her decision was made.  It’d been quick. It’d been simple.  Now, the question was, how was she going to be able to follow through with it?

***

Jesse couldn’t help notice Joe’s absence after he left.  He hadn’t realized how quickly he’d gotten used to having another man around to talk to.  “Whenever you stop in Omaha, you have a place to stay,” he’d told Joe before Joe headed out.

Once Joe left, Jesse had put Laura’s bed back in Elliot’s room.  The process evoked mixed feelings.  On one hand, he was going to miss having her in the same room with him.  Even if they hadn’t done anything of an intimate nature, it’d been nice to hold her.  He’d missed having a woman in his arms.

Also, it had been nice to have someone nearby when he had the recurring nightmares.  In such dreams, he learned Elsie hadn’t really died but had faked her death so she could go back to New York.  When he found her, she would either say she couldn’t handle a homesteader’s life or she’d gone back because Fanny had forced her to.

In each version of the dream, however, it ended the same.  Elsie would look at him with tears in her eyes and tell him, “You have to let me go.”

When he woke up, he’d think one of the shadows in the room was Fanny pointing a rifle at him.  You killed my little girl.  Now I’m going to kill you, was the message in her steely eyes.  It always took him a full minute to realize she wasn’t really there, but the sheer terror of believing, for that brief moment, he was about to be shot was enough to keep him awake for the next couple of hours.

Laura had managed to push the nightmares back by simply being next to him during the night.  In fact, it was the only time he felt at peace with everything going on.

That night after Joe left, Jesse turned onto his back in the bed, wondering what it was that had woken him.  It hadn’t been another nightmare.  No.  It was something else.  He’d been having a fitful sleep all night, but up to now, he’d been able to drift back to sleep.

He let out a heavy sigh and sat up.  He had a long day tomorrow.  Work had wiped him out.  He was exhausted, and yet, sleep eluded him.

He placed his face in his hands and tried to decide the best course of action.  It was obvious what he wanted.  He wanted Laura to be back in here.  He wanted her to sleep with him.  But wasn’t it wrong to impose this on her?

She’d already done so much for him.  She’d given up a real marriage.  She’d devoted her life to taking care of his child.  She took care of the laundry, the cooking, and the cleaning.  She had to be just as tired as he was by the time he got to bed.  Did he really want her to feel like she had to be in his arms through the night as well?

He must have sat there for a half hour.  He gave himself every reason why he should leave her alone.  And every reason made perfect sense.  But it all boiled down to being selfish.  He wanted her there with him.

Maybe he’d just ask her if she’d be willing to come back in here.  If she said no, then he’d abide by her decision.  He wouldn’t try to talk her into it.  He’d just ask and see what she said.  It didn’t hurt to ask, right?  A simple question.  A simple answer.  If she said no, he’d be alone, just as he was now.  So what did he have to lose?  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

Steadying his nerves, he rose from the bed and went to Elliot’s room.  He slowly opened the door, careful not to wake his son, and stepped into the room.

“Is something wrong?” Laura whispered.  “Did you have another nightmare?”

Surprised she was awake, he turned to her.  She was sitting up in the bed, those lovely blonde waves falling over her shoulders.  Whether she realized it or not, she was a beautiful sight.

He blinked the thought away.  No.  He wasn’t here for that.  He was here because he was having trouble sleeping, and from the looks of it, maybe she was, too.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he whispered as he went over to her.

“I can’t sleep, either,” she replied.

Well, that might be a good angle to go with this.  “I slept better when we were in the same room.  I’m not sure why.  It was just easier.”

“Do you want me to go back to your room?”

He wasn’t sure if he detected a hopeful tone or not in the question.  It was hard to tell when they were whispering.  “It would just be the same arrangement we had before.  Nothing will happen.” There, that should make her feel more at ease about it.  “It might be best for Elliot.  He’s going to get older, and it’ll be awkward if you stay in here all his life.  It might be best to get the sleeping arrangements settled now.”

After a moment, she stood up.  “That’s probably a good idea.  I don’t want to be in here when he’s ten.”

Yes, that was a good way of thinking about it.  This was better for Elliot.  And the couch wasn’t very comfortable.  The best solution was to sleep in the same room.  Also, they’d managed an entire week without doing anything.  Surely, they would manage to continue on in the same room without doing more than holding each other.

She went to one end of the bed and lifted it up, a silent affirmation that he was welcome to go through with this.  He lifted the other end, and they worked quietly together to get it into his room.  Soon, he was pressing her bed against his while she closed the door to Elliot’s room.

When she came back, she didn’t hesitate to slip into his arms.  The difference from being alone to being with her was startling.  Already that feeling of peace had returned.  He no longer felt restless.  He felt complete.

“Thank you for moving back in here,” he whispered.

She wrapped her arm around his waist and gave a squeeze, which he understood was her way of saying he was welcome.

He closed his eyes, and finally, he was able to have a good night’s sleep.

Chapter Sixteen

Two weeks went by, and it seemed to Laura things fell into a comfortable routine.  At the very least, the normal day-to-day chores made it easier to forget the strength of her feelings for Jesse.  There were times at night when she was aware of his arousal.

Before coming to live on the farm, she wouldn’t have understood what an erect penis meant, but having watched Jesse get his two horses in the same fence in hopes they’d produce a foal, it didn’t take much imagination to figure out its significance.

Laura, however, hadn’t given any thought to the process of having children.  She had Elliot, and she couldn’t have loved him any more than if he was her own.  But she was excited by the prospect of where things might possibly be leading in the bedroom.  If she thoroughly enjoyed it whenever Jesse touched her, she had no doubt she’d get pleasure from consummating their marriage.

He’d be gentle with her through the process.  He’d kiss her and caress her in places no one else had.  Then he’d settle between her legs and enter her, and maybe when he made love to her, the persistent ache between her legs would finally be satisfied.  Of all the things she hadn’t expected from entertaining thoughts of lovemaking, one was the awareness of the pressure mounting between her legs.  She hadn’t realized she’d desire his touch down there, much less the feel of him as he filled her core.

And the problem was, if she wasn’t distracted by more pressing matters, her thoughts often wandered in this direction.  On one such day, she was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for the bread to finish baking in the oven.  Since Fanny was watching Elliot, she had nothing to do but pass the time by reading a book, but no matter how many times she read the page, the words didn’t make sense.

All she could think of was the thrill she’d experienced when she woke up that morning, her back to Jesse’s chest, and the strength of his erection as it pressed against her behind.  She had the urge to lift her nightgown, wiggle up, spread her legs, pull his penis out of the slit in his drawers, and take him into her.

She’d been wet between her legs.  It might be an easy thing to have him slide into her.  Then, at long last, she’d get to experience the pleasure of feeling him inside her.  Laura was so caught up in her fantasy that her hips started rocking on their own accord as she imagined what it’d be like to have his penis moving in and out of her.

“Do you make it a habit of burning bread?” an all-too-familiar voice called out.

Jerking to her feet, she saw Fanny come into the kitchen with Elliot in her arms.  Sure her face was bright red, she went to the oven, noting the smoke coming out of it.  She wasn’t sure what was worse: knowing that Fanny might have caught her moving her hips while in the chair or burning the bread.

Oh, who was she kidding?  It was far worse to be caught giving into thoughts of lovemaking.  Even now, her drawers were wet between her legs, and her breathing was still faster than normal.  She prayed Fanny didn’t notice.  She hoped Fanny only thought it was the burning bread that made her hands shake as she grabbed a potholder and opened the oven.  She removed the blackened bread and set it on the cookstove.  She waved the potholder in front of the oven to get rid of the smoke, keeping her back to Fanny the entire time.

This was so humiliating.  And it had to happen in front of Fanny of all people?

“You’re not much of a wife if you’re this incompetent in the kitchen,” Fanny said.  “It’s a good thing I don’t eat what you make.”

Usually, this would bother Laura, but right now she was so relieved Fanny wasn’t going to say anything about her sexual fantasy, she didn’t mind the reproach.

“Do you think you can handle Elliot, or should I watch him a little longer so you can take care of the mess you made in here?” Fanny asked.

“I can take care of Elliot,” she replied, still not making eye contact with her.

“Alright.” Though Fanny didn’t sound convinced, she set him down.

Then, thankfully, she left.  Laura breathed a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat from her forehead.  That was close.  Much too close.  She had to find a way to stop herself from thinking of Jesse during the day.

She glanced over at Elliot, who was walking over to her.  With a smile, she held her arms out to him and picked him up when he went into them.  She took him into his bedroom and changed his diaper, choosing one of her favorite songs to sing to him.  The process helped her calm down, and before long, the ache between her legs had subsided.  She still needed to change her drawers, but at least the urgency to do something about her mounting passion had gone away.

She kept thinking this need to be with Jesse would recede if she didn’t give in to it, but it only seemed to get stronger.  The logical choice, of course, would be to have her bed back in Elliot’s room.  Being with Jesse at night was making things worse.

Maybe she should come out and tell him she was having a hard time fighting off her feelings and that being in bed with him only made things worse.  He would understand.  He’d take her bed back to Elliot’s room, no questions asked.

Except she couldn’t do it.  The truth of the matter was, she kept hoping something more would come of their time in bed, that on one of the nights when he had an erection, he would give into his desire and make love to her.

She finished changing Elliot’s diaper and set him down for a nap.  Then she hurried to change her drawers before anyone caught her and asked her what she was doing.  By the time she was done, she felt more like her old self.

After a quick debate, she decided to make biscuits…again.  But biscuits were a good choice.  She didn’t have so much time on her hands to sit and wait while making those.  The more she could keep her mind occupied, the better.  The worst thing she could do was keep giving into fantasies of things that would never come to pass.

Humming a song, she focused on the biscuits, only glancing up from time to time to look out the window.  It took her a few times of doing this to realize she was hoping to catch a glimpse of Jesse.  With an aggravated sigh, she turned her back to the window and resumed the song.  She had to stop doing this.  She couldn’t keep moping after him like a lovesick schoolgirl.

Focus, Laura.  Just focus on the job you need to do.  And that was raising Elliot.  Nothing else mattered.  Repeating this over and over to herself, she continued making the biscuits.

***

It was after supper that evening when the moment Jesse dreaded finally came.  He’d been gathering potatoes to sell at the mercantile all day, and by the time he brought the last wheelbarrow load to the barn, he caught sight of Fanny heading for his house.  He debated whether or not he should help Laura, just in case Fanny wanted to give her a hard time.

No.  There was no “in case” about it.  She was going to give Laura a hard time.  The only other times the old coot went into his house was when she gave Elliot back to Laura.  She wasn’t doing that this time.  This time, she was going to do something to upset Laura, and he wasn’t going to let that happen.  Not to Laura.  And not when he could do something to prevent it.

He hurried into the house, and as he feared, Laura and Fanny were arguing.

“You obviously don’t know how to cook right, or you wouldn’t have burnt the bread,” Fanny snapped at Laura from Elliot’s bedroom.  “At least take the recipe for my grandson’s sake.  I can’t have him breaking his teeth on that kind of bread.  They’ll fall out well before he’s ready for the adult ones to come in.”

Jesse strode to the bedroom and saw Fanny trying to shove a piece of paper at Laura as she was trying to put a cloth under Elliot’s bottom.

“I know how to make bread,” Laura protested, finally swatting Fanny’s hand away when the woman tried to slip the paper into Laura’s pocket.  “I’ve never burnt it before.  I was distracted, that’s all.”

“Distracted?  All you were doing was reading a book.”

Jesse crossed the room and stepped between them.  “Go out to the parlor,” he told Fanny, doing his best to keep his tone calm for Laura and Elliot’s sakes.  “You can tell me your grievances there.”

“She can’t cook,” Fanny argued.  “She’s going to end up harming my grandson.”

“I wouldn’t have fed him the burnt bread,” Laura said as she hurried to secure the clean diaper on Elliot.

“Elsie never burnt bread a day in her life.  She knew how to cook,” Fanny replied.  “And to top it off, the house isn’t very clean.  You have no homemaking skills at all.”

Jesse couldn’t believe this.  “After I talked to you about respecting Laura, you come in here and do this to her?”

Fanny stiffened.  “Respect.  Respect?  You want to talk about respect?  I’ve caught you both in a lie.” She set her hands on her hips.  “Where does Laura sleep?  I don’t see a blanket on the couch, and I don’t see a bed in here.”

His face growing warm, he said, “That’s none of your business.”

“Isn’t it?” Fanny pressed.  “Elsie was my daughter.  You promised to be faithful to her all the days of your life.”

How dare she bring up Elsie?  She’d always used Elsie in one way or another to bend him to her will.  Well, he was done with it.  This wasn’t healthy.  Not for him.  Not for Laura. And not for Elliot.  He had a responsibility to Laura and Elliot, and he was going to finally stand up and do it.

“No,” he said.  “I promised to be faithful to Elsie until she died.  The vows were ‘until death do us part’, and she’s no longer here.”

“Her son is here!  You have a duty to him.  You can’t be having children with her.” She gestured to Laura.  “It’s a betrayal to Elsie.  She died giving you Elliot.  Her sacrifice will mean nothing if you divide up your attention between him and that whore’s children.”

Laura gasped, and the last of Jesse’s patience snapped.  “I’ve had enough of you,” he barked.  “You’re going back to New York, and you’re going tomorrow.  Pack your things.” He pointed to the door.  “Now!”

Fanny narrowed her eyes at him.  “This was your plan all along.  You married that,” she motioned to Laura, “whore so you wouldn’t need my help in taking care of Elliot.” She shot Laura a piercing look.  “And you were so full of lust, you took advantage of his grief.  What would Elsie think if she were alive to see this?”

Noting the way Laura and Elliot were watching him, he forced himself to calm down and turned to Fanny.  “We’re done.  Tomorrow, you’re leaving.  Go pack.” When she didn’t leave, he snapped, “Do I have to carry you out of here?”

She straightened her shirtwaist and lifted her chin in the air.  “My family won’t stand for this.  You’ll regret it.”

“The only thing I regret is not doing this sooner.”

He made a move to pick her up, ready to haul her on out of the house, but she hurried on out.  He followed behind, only stopping at the door to watch her as she made her way to the small home he’d built her.  Why couldn’t it have been enough?  All the things he’d done and given to Fanny…  All the times he’d relented because Elsie claimed her mother had no one else who was willing to take care of her…  One of the last things Elsie had asked him before she died was that he provide for her mother.

I’m sorry, Elsie, but I can’t do it.  Not anymore.  Not when I have someone else to think about.

“Maybe I was wrong,” Laura said from behind him.

He turned to face her.

“I should have just taken the recipe card,” Laura continued as she shifted Elliot to her other hip.  “I didn’t have to be stubborn.”

“No, you did the right thing in standing your ground,” he replied.  “As soon as you give in, Fanny will take advantage of you.  The only way to stop her is to make her leave.  I should have been man enough to do it long before this.”

There were many things he was beginning to think he should have been man enough to do sooner, but the list seemed too long to go through them all.  The only thing he could do was start fresh.  Making Fanny go back to New York was the only way he was going to get the clean slate he needed.  He wasn’t sure what his life would look like from here, but from this point forward, things were going to change.

***

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Laura asked the next morning as Jesse stood at the door, putting his hat on.

“I have to,” he replied.  “It’s the only way I’m going to be free.” With a glance at her and Elliot, who was in her arms, he added, “It’s the only way all of us will be free.  I know she’s Elsie’s mother, but I’m not bound by my promises to her anymore.  And,” he released his breath, “if she was here, I think she’d understand.”

Laura considered his words and figured he was probably right.

“We can’t keep living in the past,” he continued as he came over to them.  “Life goes on.  He’s proof of it.” He reached for Elliot, so Laura handed him his son.  He took Elliot in his arms and kissed his head.  “The future is waiting for us, and we need to move forward with it.  Those nightmares I’ve been having…  Now I realize that’s what they were about.  Fanny’s been holding me to the past.  Elsie wouldn’t have wanted that for me, and she wouldn’t have wanted it for Elliot.  That’s not the kind of person she was.”

Once again, she was curious about his nightmares, but she still didn’t know how to ask about them.  Some things were too personal to share with another person, even if that person was a very close friend.

“Well, for what it’s worth,” she began, “you have my support.”

He smiled at her.  “I know.  You’ve always been there for me.  Now it’s time I did the same for you.”

He gave Elliot back to her.

“Don’t you want to take him with you?” Laura asked.  “To let Fanny say good-bye to him?  I can come along if you need someone to hold him in the wagon.”

“I think it’s best if you both stay here.  I don’t know how unpleasant things will get.  Yesterday was bad enough.”

Yes, he was right.  Elliot had woken up twice in the middle of the night in tears.  Laura had to hold him in the rocking chair until he fell back to sleep.  He might be too young to understand what was going on, but there was no doubt he’d been affected by it.

“I suppose no matter how much you try to work things out, it won’t do any good,” Laura thoughtfully said.

“Not with some people,” Jesse agreed.  “Fanny just happens to be one of them.”

He wasn’t happy about doing this.  He had to do it, but she could see a part of him felt like he was disappointing Elsie, even if Elsie wasn’t around to see this happen.

“Is there anything you want me to do while you’re gone?” Laura asked.

“Will you check on the animals?”

She nodded.  “Yes, I’ll do that.”

He offered her a smile before he left the house.  She walked up to the door and watched him as he went to the small home he’d built for Fanny.  He knocked on the door, and after a long moment, she opened it.  He went in to grab the trunk.  Soon, the two were going to the barn.  Not long after that, they were in the wagon heading for town.

From the distance, Laura couldn’t tell if they were talking.  All she could see was that neither one was happy about this.  Laura sighed.  Things could have been so different.  If only Fanny hadn’t been so impossible to deal with…

“Mama,” Elliot said, touching her cheek.

It was then Laura realized she’d been crying.  What an odd thing.  She didn’t think she’d ever cry because Fanny was no longer going to be a part of her life.  But really, was she even crying because Fanny was leaving?  No.  That wasn’t why she was crying.  She was crying because things hadn’t turned out the way Jesse had hoped when he’d left New York.  He must have had so many dreams of what he’d thought life would be like once he was here.

“I love your father,” she whispered to Elliot.  “But even so, I wish things had turned out the way he wanted them to.”

***

“I will never forgive you for making me go back,” Fanny snapped as she and Jesse sat on the bench.

Fortunately, the stagecoach was due at any time.  He’d already been sitting here with her for the last hour and a half.  For the most part, she’d been quiet.  It was only in the last five minutes that she’d chosen to speak up.

“You dragged me all the way out to this godforsaken land just to turn around and send me back,” she continued.  “I’m an old woman.  You think this trip is going to be easy on me?”

“You should have thought about that before you yelled at Laura yesterday,” he replied, praying the stagecoach would hurry up and get here.

“All you wanted was someone to warm your bed, and that whore wasn’t about to do the decent thing and close her legs.”

“You stop it right now,” he hissed.  “We’re in public.  People might overhear you.”

“I ought to tell them how cruel you’re being to me.”

“I’m doing what needs to be done.” Elsie would have wanted him to do what was best for him and Elliot, and she would have wanted him to be happy with Laura.  “I’m not going to have you interfering in my life any longer.”

“So you and that whore can share the same bed without any shame.”

“Stop calling Laura that.  She’s my wife.  We got married.  There’s nothing shameful in what we do.  Someday Elliot’s going to have brothers and sisters, and I won’t have you treating them badly just because their mother is Laura instead of Elsie.  I need to get you out of here for all of our sakes.”

Fanny huffed and crossed her arms.

Thankfully, she didn’t say anything after that.  The stagecoach came ten minutes later, and he gave the driver his fee and arranged for him to see that Fanny got on the train so she could go all the way back to New York.  He was afraid Fanny might argue that she wasn’t going to leave, but to his great relief, she got in the stagecoach.

He waited until the stagecoach was on the way out of town before he finally went back to his wagon, feeling as if a burden had been lifted off his shoulders.  Free.  Finally, he was free.

Chapter Seventeen

That evening after they ate, Laura expressed an interest in seeing the fields, so he saddled up a horse for her and another for him.  Taking Elliot with him, he led her out and showed her the rows of corn, potatoes, tomatoes, and beans.

“Are you sure you didn’t mind having biscuits again?” Laura asked after dinner as Jesse led her and Elliot into one of the fields.

Jesse glanced at her as the horses made their way around the corn.  “No.” With a chuckle, he added, “That’s the third time you asked me about it.  We can have biscuits every supper if you want.  I’m not hard to please.”

“I know, but if you have the same thing every evening, it’s bound to get boring.”

“Before we got married, I ate a lot of the same things.  I’m not any good at preparing meals.” Recalling the fuss Fanny made about the soup Laura had made her, he asked, “Are you afraid I think you’re not good at cooking?”

“No, it’s not that.  I’ve been cooking ever since I was a young girl.  I just don’t want to make something so often that you get sick of it.”

“You have no need to worry.  You can make biscuits every day for the rest of our lives, and I’ll be happy to eat them.”

She shot him an amused grin.  “I won’t make them that often.”

“Well, you can if you want.”

Elliot held his hands out and leaned forward as if he meant to touch the corn.  Jesse held him in place so he wouldn’t fall out of the saddle.

“Hold on there, Elliot,” Jesse said and pulled the horse to a stop.  “I’ll be right back,” he told Laura then led the horse between one of the rows of the tall stalks.  “Someday, you’ll be growing corn just like this.  You’ll grow other crops, too, but corn will probably be one of them.”

Elliot made another attempt to touch one of the stalks, so on a whim, Jesse pulled one up and handed it to him.  Elliot let out an excited cry and started exploring it.

“Don’t get used to that,” Jesse told him.  “I’m not going to go through all these fields and let you have everything you see.  It takes a lot of hard work to care for all of this.  When you get older, you’ll help me, and then you’ll know how much work goes into all of this.”

When Jesse emerged from the row, Laura laughed.  “So that’s what you were doing in there.”

“I warned Elliot that I’m not going to be doing this again, so he better not think every time we ride through here, he’ll get a stalk of corn or some other crop.”

“He’s only a year old.  I don’t think he’ll remember this.”

“Probably not.  Maybe I need to tell myself he won’t be getting any more crops.  He’s hard to say no to.”

“He is,” she agreed.  “Even though he’s young, I think he already knows it because he managed to sweet talk me into a cookie the other day.”

“How did he do that?” he asked as they resumed their casual trek through the fields.

“He called me ‘mama’ and said he loved me.”

“He said the word ‘love’?”

“Well, it didn’t sound exactly like ‘love’.  It was more like ‘wuv’, but I knew what he meant.”

“He probably picked that up from you.  I heard you tell him you love him on several occasions.”

“I do love him.  He means the world to me.”

“I know he does, and I appreciate the fact that you love him as well as you do.  He needs that.”

“Well, you love him.”

“Yes, I do,” he said, “but a mother’s love is different.  When a boy gets hurt, he wants to be with his mother.  Mothers can give a child something fathers can’t.  I’m glad you’re here.”

She smiled at him.  “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

It was then he noticed—really noticed—her.  He already knew she was pretty.  But for some reason, she seemed especially so this evening.

“You must be proud of all this work,” Laura said, scanning the fields.

Forcing his gaze off of her, he turned his attention back to the crops.  “I’m satisfied out here.  It’s harder work than what I did back in New York, but it’s more rewarding.  There’s something wonderful about watching something you did with your own hands growing up from the ground.”

“I’m glad you’re getting a chance to live your dream.”

It was so much like Laura to think of him.  Ever since he’d met her, she put others before herself.  “You’re helping with that dream.  By being here for me and Elliot.  I don’t think I could have done this without you.”

She seemed pleased by his words, so he figured he would end the conversation on this high note and enjoy the rest of the ride in a comfortable silence.

***

That night, Jesse brought his arm around Laura and pulled her closer to him.  He knew he was half-asleep, hovering in that space where he was in a dream and the waking world.  But even as he drifted in and out of consciousness, he was very much aware of Laura.  He was on his back, his arm around her, and she was snuggled up against his side, a position that made it easy to feel her body.  The thin fabric of her nightgown did little to conceal the feel of her breasts and legs.  And he couldn’t be sure, but he thought her hand was tracing his chest.

Had it not been for his erection, he might have been able to sink fully into sleep.  But he was fully erect, and the ache had reached the point where it was almost unbearable.  From time to time, he had woken up, fully aroused, but he’d managed to fight off the urge to let things progress from there.  On this particular night, though, he wanted to let things progress further.

With a groan, he forced himself awake and rolled onto his side.  Keeping her close to him, he began kissing her, starting at her cheeks and then moving down her neck.  She smelled nice.  Like the wildflowers that grew close to the house.

And she felt even better.  Soft and warm.  He ran his hand down her back and cupped her behind.  She let out a moan and wrapped her leg around his waist, letting him know she was willing to do this with him.

Caught up in the thrill of the moment, he urged her closer to him so that his penis was intimately against her.  How he missed this.  Lovemaking had been one of his favorite activities, and now he was about to have the pleasure of doing it with Laura.

Bringing his mouth to hers, he rolled on top of her and rocked his hips, the action meant to tease them both, to give them both a foretaste of what was to come.  And she responded willingly to him.  Her fingers were digging into his back, her tongue sparring with his, her hips rocking along with his.

He brought one of his hands to her breast and cupped it in his hand.  She filled his palm nicely, as he’d thought she would.  His thumb sought her nipple through the fabric of her nightgown and soon found the bud, which hardened under his caress.

She moaned and brought her legs around his waist.  She lifted her hips, her actions growing insistent, notifying him of her full arousal.  He had to make love to her.  There was no resisting the pull to finish what he’d started.

Ending the kiss, he rose up so he could remove his undershirt and drawers.  She, delighting him with her own urgency, threw off her nightgown and slipped out of her drawers.  Then she settled back onto the bed, allowing him a full view of her naked body.

In the moonlight, he took in his fill of her.  She was perfect in every way.  Her blonde hair was spread across the pillow.  Her breathing was faster than normal, an action which only emphasized the bountiful size of her breasts.  And since he sat between her legs, he got a generous view of her entrance.  He brushed his fingers against it, and sure enough, she was so wet he could slide right in.

He glanced back at her face.  The desire in her eyes encouraged him to slide a finger in.  Her flesh wrapped around him, pulling him deeper.  Soon it would be surrounding his penis.  Just the thought made him harder.

But before he entered her, he would give her the completion due to her.  He slid a second finger into her and then leaned forward to kiss her breast.  She wiggled against him and lifted her hips, guiding him deeper into her core.  He proceeded to stroke her, glad to note she wasn’t so tight that her first time would be uncomfortable.

She was a virgin.  There was no denying that, but she was also relaxed enough to make the consummation of the marriage a smooth process.  Elsie had been so tense from all the fear Fanny had put into her that it’d taken considerable care and time to help her learn to enjoy lovemaking.  Thankfully, Fanny hadn’t been able to scare Laura the same way.

In fact, Laura’s reaction to what he was doing was perfect.  She was completely uninhibited.  She wasn’t the least bit shy in taking full enjoyment from what they were doing.

Further encouraged, he brought his mouth between her legs and pressed his tongue to her sensitive nub.  He was rewarded with a moan, so he worked on establishing a rhythm that would ensure her climax.  He was so caught up in the process of giving her an orgasm that he hardly noticed the way her fingers dug into his shoulders.  If anything, her need for him only excited him all the more.

And then, when she finally reached the peak and cried out his name, he warmed with a strong sense of satisfaction.  He slowed his ministrations, coaxing her orgasm to continue for as long as her body would allow.  He wanted this to last for her, wanted her to know lovemaking was going to be something she could anticipate and get full pleasure from, that it wasn’t about duty or necessity, that it was something to bring joy to them both.

When her fulfillment was complete, he inserted another finger into her, just to make sure she was ready for him.  Then he slid his fingers out of her and settled on top of her.  Before he entered her, he gave her a long, lingering kiss, but soon his passion prompted him to slide into her.

Once he was all the way in, he glanced down at her.  She let out a comfortable moan and kissed him.  Deepening the kiss, he proceeded to make love to her.  The process was even better than he remembered, and he gave himself completely to her.  It was wonderful to be totally engulfed in their lovemaking, to be so immersed in being with her that, for this point in time at least, they were the only two people who existed.

Clasping her hands in his, he released his seed.  He held onto the moment for as long as he could.  But it seemed that all too soon his climax had ebbed.  He chose to stay inside her, not willing to break the new bond between them.  And, in due time, he drifted off to sleep.

***

When Laura woke up the next morning, her first thought was that something was different.  Then she realized she wasn’t wearing her nightgown.  In fact, she wasn’t wearing anything.  It was then she remembered the previous night.  So it hadn’t been a dream.  Jesse really had made love to her.  She opened her eyes to see if Jesse was still in the bed with her.

He was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, and it was hard to figure out what he was thinking by the expression on his face.  Did he regret it?  Did he wish he hadn’t acted so impulsively?  Was he disappointed because she wasn’t Elsie?

He turned his head in her direction and offered a tentative smile.  Not sure how things would go from here, she returned his smile with one of her own.

He rolled onto his side so he could face her.  “Laura, about last night.  I know I didn’t ask you if it was alright to…that is, before we started to...” He cleared his throat.  “You know.  Anyway, I hope you’re not upset with me.”

“No, I’m not upset.” She took a deep breath then admitted, “I wanted to do it.”

“Really?  You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

“No, I’m not just saying it.  It’s the truth.  You didn’t take advantage of the situation.”

She hoped they would do it again, but she wasn’t brave enough to add that.  It made her nervous enough to say as much as she had.  It’d been much easier to act out her feelings instead of voicing them.

He cupped the side of her face with his hand then brought his lips to hers.  As she had last night, she melted against him.  He could do whatever he wanted to her, and she’d enjoy every minute of it.  Last night had been much better than all the fantasies she’d been entertaining for weeks.

With a moan, she brought her hand up to the back of his neck and encouraged him to deepen the kiss.  He relaxed against her and proceeded to brush her tongue with his.  She didn’t know if she’d ever get used to the initial spark of pleasure that swept over her when their tongues interlaced, but there was no doubt she’d never tire of it.

This kiss wasn’t the kind of kiss one friend would give to another.  It was far too intimate for that.  He was kissing her in a way a husband should kiss his wife.  In fact, his hands were caressing parts of her that spoke of the kind of closeness a husband and wife were supposed to have, too.  At least here, in this bed, she wasn’t only a friend.  She was his lover.  And, that being the case, she didn’t have to hide her feelings when she was in this room.  She was free to give into the passion swirling around her.

Her core ached for him, so she urged him to roll onto his back and then took him inside her.  Maybe she should have shown more restraint, but she was too caught up in the moment.  Weeks of longing for this had taken their toll, and now that she didn’t have to resist giving into her desire for him, her body demanded to take her pleasure.

She leaned down and kissed him then whispered, “I don’t think I have the patience to go slow.  The need is too strong.”

“Don’t hold back,” he replied, excitement laced in his voice.  “Give into the need, Laura.”

She managed enough patience for one more kiss before she began rocking her hips in earnest.  He brought one of his hands between them and rubbed her sensitive nub.

It surprised her how intense lovemaking could be.  She’d thought after he’d taken her to the heights of heaven last night that the ache for him would have ebbed, but in many ways, it’d only made the ache that much more demanding.  Because now she knew what to expect, knew the kind of ecstasy being with him could give her.

Before long, she reached the peak and grew still, barely aware he was murmuring her name.  When she relaxed, he rolled her over and kissed her lips, her cheeks, and her neck, not at all shy about showing his enthusiasm in being with her this way.  No wonder he didn’t want her to hold back.  It was wonderful to be assured he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

She let out a contented sigh.  If only they could spend the rest of their lives right here, consumed in the moment where it was just the two of them.  No one would come between them.  In this moment, she didn’t have to feel that her love was one-sided.  When he was with her this way, she felt that he loved her in return.  There was no wondering.  It was a certainty she could depend on.  And she chose to concentrate on this warm feeling.

She held him as he continued making love to her.  His body fit so well with hers, and besides feeling complete during this act, she couldn’t deny it felt wonderful, even after she’d climaxed.  When he grew taut and released his seed, she brought him closer to her and pressed her cheek against his.

He whispered her name in a way that warmed her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.  With a smile, she kissed his cheek.  She was glad she was able to offer him pleasure from her body.  And honestly, she didn’t think there was anything she wouldn’t give him if he asked for it.  She loved him far too much to ever deny him anything.

She didn’t know if he could tell how much he meant to her or not, but at least when they were in bed, she was allowed to show it without fearing she overstepped any invisible boundaries she didn’t know about.  She didn’t know if he could ever come to care for her the way she cared for him, but maybe, just maybe, he might learn to be content with her.  But she couldn’t stop loving him.  Not now.  Not ever.  And she would enjoy all these moments she had with him, regardless of how he might feel about her.

He rose up on his elbows and looked down at her, that heart-melting smile on his face.  “I’m glad you don’t hold back when we make love,” he told her, his voice soft.  “It’s nice that I don’t have to guess if you’re enjoying it.”

She found the comment odd.  Why would he have to guess if she enjoyed it or not?  But he didn’t give her a chance to ask.  Instead, he kissed her again, and though his tongue was brushing hers, the earlier urgency had been replaced by a lingering sense of peace.

They remained in bed for a few more minutes, just kissing and holding each other before Elliot cried out from the other room.  The responsibilities of the day had swept in and brought them both down from the dreamlike state of bliss they’d been wrapped up in.  But Laura didn’t mind.  There would be tonight, and they’d get to be together like this again.

It wasn’t until she was taking care of Elliot that Laura realized what Jesse had meant by his strange comment about not wanting to guess whether she enjoyed making love to him or not.  Fanny had given Elsie a pamphlet on how wives were to not enjoy the bed.  Unlike Laura, Elsie had probably read it.  Up to now, Laura had assumed everything in Jesse’s marriage had been perfect, but maybe it hadn’t been as perfect as she’d thought.

Chapter Eighteen

“He grows up fast, doesn’t he?” Laura’s mother asked two days later as she watched Elliot walk in the parlor.

“He does,” Laura replied, unable to stop smiling no matter how hard she tried.

When she’d asked Jesse if she could take Elliot into town so she could see her mother, he’d not only gotten the buggy ready for her, but he’d also kissed her before he helped her in.  Sure, it hadn’t been the type of kiss where their tongues touched, but it’d been a kiss right on the lips.  Sharing such a moment outside the bedroom had been so unexpected that she nearly fainted from the pure joy of it. Maybe, just maybe, it meant she’d found a place in his heart.  It might not be love, but it was more than she thought she’d ever have.

Now, as Laura glanced at her mother, she wondered if her mother picked up on her excitement.  She’d already visited Amanda and told her everything.  She supposed it was only right she tell her mother how well her marriage was going, even if she didn’t give her any details like she’d done with Amanda.  It was one thing to confess more to her friend, but doing so with her mother only seemed awkward.

“Jesse’s a good man, Ma,” she said.

“Yes, I know,” her mother replied.  She held her hands out to Elliot as he walked over to her.  “It’s why you helped him take care of this sweet boy.”

She cleared her throat.  “I was wondering if you and Pa would be willing to come out to our home and have supper with us.  It’d give you two a chance to get to know him better.”

Her mother’s smile faltered.  “Oh, um, I don’t think that’ll work.”

“We can come here.”

She shook her head.  “That won’t work, either.”

“Don’t you want to get to know Jesse?”

“It’s not about what I want, Laura.  You know how your father is.  He’s still mad that you married Jesse, and it doesn’t help that you told him you were engaging in intimate relations with him before the wedding.”

Laura wasn’t sure what to say.  At the time, the lie seemed to be the only way to get her father to leave her alone.  Otherwise, he would have hauled her back here and married her to the man he chose.  And what kind of life would that have been?

“I don’t regret marrying Jesse,” she told her mother.  “I’d do it again if given the chance.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

After a moment, Laura ventured, “Do you wish I’d married one of the men Father wanted me to be with?”

Her mother helped Elliot go back to the table.  “At first, I had wished it because it’s what your father wanted.  But now, I realize things turned out for the best.” She paused then added, “Laura, it’s hard to explain how things were in my family.  My marriage was arranged.  You know I grew up in Ireland and that my family had arranged a marriage to your father because your grandparents liked the match.  Your father was already in America, so I had to leave my country to be with him.”

“Yes, I know,” Laura replied.

In fact, it was about all Laura knew about her mother’s past.  Her mother had always been a private person.

“Your father and I were both raised the same,” her mother continued.  “The woman’s place was to do what the man wanted.  Before I married your father, my duty was to obey your grandfather.  And I obeyed him in all things, regardless of the cost.  You see, there was a young man on the ship I was on.  He was very kind, and I fell in love with him.  He wanted me to marry him, but I couldn’t because I was already promised to your father.”

“I had no idea,” Laura whispered.

“I never spoke of him to anyone.  Not even your father knows about him.  The last time I saw him was at Ellis Island.” She paused to take a deep breath then released it.  “He didn’t want me to go to Pennsylvania to be with your father, and I can still remember the expression on his face when I told him good-bye.  It broke my heart to tell him no, but I didn’t feel like I had a choice.  My life wasn’t my own.  It wasn’t my place to make decisions for myself.  I was to do what your grandfather wanted.  So, I married your father.”

Her mother pulled out a handkerchief and, with a chuckle to help lighten the mood, wiped her eyes.  “I can’t remember the last time I cried.  It’s been years.” She took a moment to gather her composure then turned her gaze back to Laura.  “I don’t regret marrying your father because he gave me you, and you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“But you miss the young man you fell in love with,” Laura said, her voice soft.

Her mother nodded.  “I still have the coin he gave me.  He used to joke it brought him luck.  Sometimes he’d take it out to make decisions when he had trouble making up his mind about something.  When he gave it to me, he asked me if I’d just flip it to see if it would tell me to marry him instead of your father.”

“Did you?”

“Yes.  And it told me to marry him.  I lied and said it told me to marry your father.  I wasn’t like you, Laura.  I wasn’t strong enough to follow where my heart was leading me.”

“I’m so sorry, Mother,” Laura whispered, wishing there was something she could say or do to ease the burden her mother had been carrying with her all these years.

Her mother dabbed her eyes again then turned her gaze to Laura.  “There’s something else I haven’t told you.  Before you married Jesse, your father couldn’t figure out where you were staying.  He searched all over for you.  Well, he’d forgotten all about the Larsons.  Not your friend Amanda.  But her in-laws.  The day after you left with your things, I was on my way to see them when Mrs. Larson happened to be on her way to town.  She had been on her way to see me because she wanted me to know you were safe.  I didn’t say anything to your father.  I wanted to give you something I never had.  A marriage you could be happy with.”

“Oh, Mother.”

Laura jumped out of the chair so she could hug her.  There were so many things she wanted to say but didn’t know how.  It didn’t matter, she supposed, since her tears got in the way.  Her mother wrapped her arms around her and returned the hug.

All her life, she thought she knew her mother.  Now, she was learning there was so much she didn’t know.  Never once had she thought of her mother as a young woman who’d been full of dreams of what good might come from the future.  Even if she’d left behind that man on Ellis Island all those years ago, she still loved him.  She probably always would.

“I want you to be happy,” her mother whispered.  “If you can be happy, then everything else will have been worth it.”

Wiping away more tears, Laura released her mother and knelt next to her.  “I am happy, Mother.”

Her mother clasped her hands in hers and smiled.  “A mother can’t help but want what’s best for her child, and looking at you now, I can see that marrying Jesse was the best decision you could have made.”

“Won’t you come out to our place and get to know him better?  Father doesn’t have to be there.”

“Well, I don’t see any reason why I can’t go by myself.”

“I’d love to show you everything Jesse’s done.  He works hard, and because of it, he has a good crop.  I think you’ll be proud of him.”

“I’m sure I will be.”

“When do you think you can come out?”

“Let me see what your father needs first,” her mother said.  “He has business associates who I have to make meals for, and that can take up most of the day depending on what your father has me cook.  I’ll let you know next time you visit.”

“Alright.  I should be back out in a couple days when Jesse brings potatoes to the mercantile.”

Laura went back to her chair, glad her mother had opened up to her.  This marked the beginning of a new relationship between them.  She could feel it.  She had no idea her mother had been gracious enough to keep her secret while she stayed at the Larsons’ home.  There were probably other things her mother had done for her over the years without Laura even realizing it.  And it gave Laura a newfound sense of gratitude for her mother.

***

Three days later, Jesse waited by his wagon in front of the mercantile as Ralph Lindon counted the potatoes he’d brought in.

“You sure did plant a lot,” Ralph said.

“I wasn’t sure how well the crop would do,” Jesse replied.

“Potatoes are good.  They’re used in a lot of recipes.  If you had to pick one crop to go with, I’d definitely recommend this one.  It’s popular with the women who shop here, too.” Ralph winked at him.  “Women are my best customers.”

He chuckled.  “Well, they know more than men when it comes to what needs to go in the meals we eat.”

“That’s true.  And it’s why I make the mercantile easy for them to shop in.  Next time you go in there, check where I put the things women like.  I put them on the lower shelves.  Anything for men, I put up high.”

“You’re discriminating against men by doing that,” Jesse teased.

“I’m doing what’s best for business.” He took a step back from the wagon.  “I’ll take two-thirds of what you have.  Did you have any other places in mind to sell these?”

“I was going to try the restaurants, and if there’s any left over, I was going to go door to door to sell them.”

“I suppose I ought to thank you for coming to me first.  That means I get the best ones.”

“They’re all good.”

“I’ve been in this business for fifteen years, and from what I’ve seen, there are good ones and gooder ones.  I’m going to take the gooder ones.”

It was on the tip of Jesse’s tongue to say there was no such thing as a “gooder” anything, but he caught the flicker of amusement in Ralph’s eyes and decided against it.  “Fine,” he relented.  “Take the gooder ones.”

“I shall.  Now, to figure out how much to pay you.”

This was it.  The moment Jesse had been waiting for since Ralph came out to check the potatoes.  But when Ralph told him how much he was willing to give him, Jesse frowned.  “That doesn’t sound like a fair price,” Jesse said.

“Oh?  And how much do you think they’re worth?”

Jesse told him, and Ralph rubbed his chin.  Ralph gave him a second offer, this one higher than the first.  Then Ralph looked at him expectantly.

It was then Jesse realized Ralph enjoyed bargaining.  That being the case, Jesse decided to raise the price from the quote he originally gave Ralph.

Ralph gasped.  “You can’t counter my offer with a higher price than the one you just gave me.  You need to lower it.”

“My original price was the price I felt was fair.”

“Well, since I’m the person buying these, I need to think of profit.  I can’t stay in business by giving these potatoes away to my customers.”

“You won’t be giving anything away.  I checked how much you’re charging for the few potatoes you got in your store, and you’d be making a good profit at the price I originally suggested.”

“Sure.  It’d be a good profit.  But I want a higher one.”

Jesse laughed and shook his head.  “Now you know why I raised the price instead of lowering it like you wanted me to.  I wouldn’t mind a higher profit, either, but I’m willing to be fair and knock my price back to what I originally suggested.  It’s still early in the season.  I doubt you have many potatoes yet, and, as you said, women buy a lot of them since they can be used in so many meals.  I don’t know what they’ll think if you don’t have potatoes on hand when they want them.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Palmer,” Ralph said, a twinkle in his eye.  “Alright.  I’ll pay you what you said the first time.” Then, as if he thought he needed to clarify his point, he added, “Not the second.  I got a family to feed.  I have to make some profit.”

“You’ll be making plenty of profit.  My price is fair.”

“Next time you come here, give me a higher price so I can feel like I’m getting a deal when I talk you down from it.”

“Now that I know how you do business, I will.”

With a chuckle, Ralph went to get the money.

***

Meanwhile, Laura told her mother, “I’m looking forward to seeing you next week.”

“I am, too,” her mother said as she hugged Elliot good-bye.  Then she handed him to Laura.  “It’s nice to see you in love.  Jesse must be good to you.”

“He is.  I think you’ll like him.”

“I’m sure I will.”

Laura gave her mother a hug.  “Thank you.” She pulled away from her and smiled.  “For everything.”

Her mother cupped her face in her hands and returned the smile.  “A mother can’t help but want the very best for her child.”

It was true.  Though Elliot was still young, Laura couldn’t think of anything she wouldn’t do for him.  After saying good-bye, she left the house.  It was time for her to go to the mercantile to meet Jesse.

Elliot squirmed in her arms.  “Mama.” He pointed down.

How much time did she have before she was supposed to get back to Jesse?  She pulled out the pocket watch he’d given her and saw she had a few minutes to spare.  The mercantile wasn’t far from here.

Once they reached the sidewalk, she set Elliot on his feet.  She held onto his hand and walked with him, her steps slow beside him.  Just ten steps in, he bent over to check something in the grass.

“Elliot, I thought you wanted to walk,” she playfully admonished the child.

“You’re not allowed to see your mother.”

Laura looked up from Elliot, surprised her father was coming up to her.  Where had he come from?  She picked Elliot up.  If she hadn’t been distracted by him, she might have noticed her father.

“You’re no longer a part of this family,” her father said once he was standing in front of her.  “Through your actions, you have disgraced both me and your mother, and such insolence will not be tolerated.”

She knew her father was upset, but she had apparently underestimated just how much.  “I’m sorry I upset you,” she began.

“Upsetting me wasn’t the worst of it,” he interrupted before she could continue.  “You openly defied me.  More than that, you let that boy touch you when you weren’t married.”

“I lied about that.” She took a deep breath and tried to force aside the shaky edge in her voice.  “Jesse and I weren’t together until after we married.  I only said we were so you wouldn’t force me to get an annulment.”

“First you disobey me, and then you lie.  I blame him for this.  You were never this way before you started taking care of that child.  You used to be a good girl.  You used to know what it meant to honor your parents.”

“It wasn’t Jesse’s doing.  It was mine.  I wanted to be with him.  Well, not right away.  At first, I wanted to be a mother to Elliot.”

“You got what you wanted.  But I won’t tolerate such behavior.  As far as I’m concerned, your mother and I no longer have a daughter.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do.  I tried to talk sense into you before it was too late, but you wouldn’t have it.  You’ve disgraced us, and there’s no undoing it.  Your mother’s not allowed to see you anymore, and you’re not allowed to see her.”

He walked around her and strode toward his house.

“Mama,” Elliot said, once again struggling to get down from her arms.

But this time, she didn’t let him down.  She couldn’t.  She was too shaken up by what her father had just told her.  Yes, she’d been warned he wasn’t happy about her decision to marry Jesse.  Her mother had told her as much.  And that hadn’t surprised her since she knew she’d upset him on her wedding day when she made up that lie so he’d leave her and Jesse alone.  But never once did she think he’d disown her.

“Mama,” Elliot said again, staring at her as if he was trying to figure out why her mood had changed.

She rubbed his back.  He was too young to understand anything that had just happened, but she could tell he didn’t like seeing her upset.  He always got so serious when she wasn’t happy.

Giving him a kiss on the forehead, she said, “Let’s find your pa.”

She continued the rest of the way to the mercantile, too numb to really feel anything.  She barely noticed the other people, and at one point, she almost stepped in front of a horse and its rider.  Quickly stepping back, she waited for the rider to pass then crossed the street.

By the time she reached the mercantile, her nerves had settled…somewhat.  She was still shaken up by the encounter, but the walk had helped to calm things down.

Up ahead, she saw Jesse shaking Ralph Lindon’s hand.  By the looks of it, Ralph had taken over half the potatoes, which was better than Jesse had thought he’d do.

“Nice doing business with you,” Ralph told him.

Jesse gave him a nod, and as Ralph headed into the mercantile, Jesse turned to her and showed her the money he’d just received.  “I did better than I expected,” he said, a wide smile on his face.  “I figure I’ll sell the rest of these potatoes to the restaurants.  But first, I need to pay the bank to reduce my loan with them.” He paused, took a good look at her, and asked, “Are you alright?”

How much did she want to tell him?  The past week had been so much like a fairytale.  She’d been wrapped up in the thrill of being with Jesse, exchanging kisses with him during the day and making love to him at night.  Without Fanny around, there’d been a whole new side of him she’d never seen before.  Since Elsie’s death, he finally seemed happy.  And now he’d made money from his hard work.

What she wanted, more than anything, was for him to be happy.  After everything he’d been through, he deserved it.  If she told him about her father, it might cast a shadow on their newfound joy.  And what would it change?  It wouldn’t make her father accept their marriage.

“Laura?” Jesse asked, caressing the side of her face.

Forcing a smile, she said, “I’m fine.  Just tired.  Elliot was up early this morning, and the lack of sleep is finally catching up to me.”

“It is a long way into town,” he replied.  “Why don’t I go to the bank and then we’ll go home?  I can go to the restaurants another time.  The potatoes will keep.”

Since it was easier to do this than to tell him about her father, she agreed and let him help her into the wagon.

“I almost forgot to ask,” he said once he was settled on the bench beside her and Elliot.  “Did your mother say when she was coming out to our place?”

After a long moment, she finally said, “She would like to come out on Tuesday, but she can’t guarantee it.  There might be something more pressing to deal with.” No doubt, her father would forbid her to see Laura again, and who knew how her mother would respond?

“Well, if she can’t make it out Tuesday, maybe we’ll have her over another day,” Jesse replied then released the brake and headed for the bank.

Chapter Nineteen

“Whatever you’re making, it smells good,” Jesse said on Tuesday as he came into the kitchen.

Laura, who’d opened the oven door to check on the meal, glanced over at him and smiled.  “It’s pot roast.  One of my mother’s favorites.” She closed the door and straightened up.  “It should be done in a half hour.”

“Just in time for her to get here.”

“Well, yes…unless something else comes up.”

“I’m sure she’ll be here.  You shouldn’t worry yourself over nothing.”

Feeling a bit mischievous, he went over to her and wrapped her in his arms.  He lowered his head and kissed her neck, knowing full well it would arouse her.  He wouldn’t have done it if Elliot had been in the room, but she was all by herself, and that meant Elliot was taking a nap.  That being the case, he saw no reason why they couldn’t engage in a little fun.

She let out a low moan and pulled him closer to her.  He brought his lips to hers and kissed her.  It’d been awkward to show her affection right after they had consummated their marriage.  While he knew he had her permission to make love to her when they were in bed, he hadn’t been sure if she’d welcome such advances during the day.  But as it turned out, she had, and the more he touched and kissed her, the more responsive she became to him.

He brought his hand to her breast, and she, in turn, delighted him to no end when she reached down between them and rubbed his erection.  Granted, it was the middle of the day, but he was so hard that he didn’t think he’d be able to concentrate on the meal if he didn’t take care of more urgent needs first.  She didn’t protest when he picked her up and carried her to their bed.  Nor did she mind when he removed their clothes.  In fact, she further encouraged him by taking his penis in her hand and stroking him.  He didn’t think he’d ever get over how wonderfully uninhibited she was in the bedroom.

Before long, he was making love to her, and when they were done, Laura pulled the pocket watch out of her dress and gasped.

“What time is it?” he asked.

“One.  My mother could be here any minute.  I don’t know what came over me.  There’s so much to do to get things ready.”

He reached for her and pulled her back into his arms.  “It’s not your fault.  I’m the one who carried you in here and had my way with you.”

Giggling, she kissed him, and he couldn’t resist the urge to kiss her back.  There was so much life in her, so much enthusiasm and joy.  And he loved being consumed by it.  After the dark days following Elsie’s death, it was a refreshing change.

“I have to get dressed,” Laura told him between kisses.

“I’ll help.”

“Help?  All you did was take my clothes off.”

He laughed and cupped her bottom in his hands, pressing her intimately against him.  “You were the one touching me in a certain place.  You should know by now that when you do that, I’m going to make love to you.”

“I thought this time you’d show some restraint,” she teased.

“Nope.  I’ll never be able to show restraint when you play the seductress.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her and grinned.

She let out a frustrated sigh.  “As much as I want to keep doing this, I can’t.  I really need to get dressed.”

“Alright.  I’ll be good.” He released her and got up so he could grab his clothes off the floor.  “Besides, waiting will only build up the anticipation before we do it again.”

She smiled in a way that indicated she was looking forward to being with him as much as he was looking forward to being with her.

Once they had cleaned up and dressed, he helped her finish getting the meal ready, figuring since he had delayed her progress, the least he could do was make it up to her.

At ten minutes past the time when they were expecting Laura’s mother, Laura peered out the window and said, “Maybe she isn’t coming.”

“Sure, she is,” he replied.  “She’s probably just late.” He went over to her and kissed the top of her head.

He had hoped his words would reassure her, but he could tell by the pensive expression on her face that she wasn’t convinced.

Elliot let out a cry, letting them know he was awake.  Laura turned to his room, but Jesse stopped her.  “I’ll take care of him.  You just try to relax, alright?”

After he gave her another kiss, he went to his son.  He had just finished changing the boy’s diaper when Laura called out that her mother had made it.  He chuckled.  He had no idea Laura could worry over something as simple as when her mother would get here.

But then, maybe there was more to it than that.  Maybe she worried her mother wouldn’t show up because her mother still didn’t approve of their marriage.  If that was the case, then it was especially good that her mother had decided to come.

He picked Elliot up and took him out to the porch where Laura was hugging her mother.

“I’m so glad you came,” Laura said.

“I wouldn’t miss this for anything,” her mother replied.  “I’m sorry I’m late.  The boy at the livery stable is new, and he hooked the buggy up to the horse wrong.”

“Next time, we can come get you,” Jesse offered.

“Oh, well,” Mrs. Rufus glanced at Laura, “I don’t want to impose.  You two have this sweet baby to worry about.  Next time, I’ll go to the livery stable early.”

“Well, lunch is ready,” Laura said, taking Elliot.  “Let’s eat.”

Laura hurried into the house.

“I think she’s worried the pot roast is getting cold,” Jesse said as he held the door open for her mother.

He expected her mother to go into the house, but, instead, she hugged him.  “Thank you for making my daughter happy,” her mother told him before she released him.  “A mother couldn’t ask for a finer son-in-law.”

Touched by her kind words, he almost didn’t know how to respond.  That was the first time he’d heard anything positive from someone else’s mother.  Finally, he managed, “Thank you.  Laura’s been a real blessing around here.”

“Are you two going to eat, or are you going to keep talking?” Laura called out from the kitchen.

“We’re coming,” Jesse replied.  “After you,” he told Laura’s mother.

She smiled and went to the kitchen, and he followed, knowing that this was going to be a mother-in-law he would enjoy having around.

***

It was in the middle of the night when the fire consumed most of Jesse’s crops.  Had it not been for his neighbors and the fire department, the damage would have been worse, but even so, the burnt fields that greeted him as the sun rose told him everything he needed to know.  All the work and time he’d put into the crops had been wasted.

The experience was surreal.  He kept thinking he was locked in a nightmare, and if only he could wake up, it would all be over.  But no matter how many times he tried to will himself awake, he was stuck in this awful state of despair mixed with panic.

“I’m really sorry this happened to you,” Mr. Larson told him as the others gathered their things to leave.

Jesse wanted to answer, but he couldn’t.  All he could do was stare at the fields that had, only yesterday, been abundant with crops that he was going to sell for a good profit.  And now…  And now…

Mr. Larson took off his hat and wiped the sweat from his brow.  “I talked to the others, and we’re going to chip in to help you out.  This obviously wasn’t your fault.” He paused then asked, “Do you have any idea who might’ve done this to you?”

Jesse’s first thought was that one of Fanny’s relatives—her brother, perhaps—had done it out of spite because he had sent her back to New York.  But then he dismissed the idea.  No one would have had time to come all the way out from New York yet.  It hadn’t been that long for Fanny to be back home.

“Jesse?” Mr. Larson asked.

The head of the fire department came over to them as his men got their horses ready for the trip back to town.  “I know this is little consolation at a time like this, but thankfully, we were able to save the buildings and animals.  It would have been worse if Jimmy Parson hadn’t told us what was happening.”

“And had it not been night when it happened, who knows when we would have noticed it?” Mr. Larson added.

Yes, that was true.  Jesse glanced at the barn, the animals, and the two homes.  Had the Larsons and Jimmy Parson and his family not summoned the others to help, who knew what shape things would be in?

He should take comfort in that.  Those were the things he owed money on.  To lose them and still owe money on them would be far worse.  But how was he supposed to make his loan payments without the crops?  The potatoes weren’t enough to see him through the entire winter and next spring.  He had depended on all of the crops to see him through.

And it’d been an ideal summer.  Plenty of rain.  Plenty of sunshine.  The winds hadn’t been too harsh.  Who knew if next summer would be as gracious?

“Thank you for coming out to help,” Laura said as she approached.  She’d pitched in to help with the rest of them, and the exhaustion on her face and her disheveled appearance only emphasized how long the night had been.  “Everything happened so fast.  I don’t know what Jesse and I would have done if we had to fight this alone.”

She was right.  The fire had swept through the fields at such a fast pace they never would have been able to limit the damage if they’d had to do this alone.  But still…  Jesse’s gaze went to the fields.  All those months of hard work were gone.  All gone.  And there was nothing he could do to get them back.

How was he supposed to keep the land if he couldn’t make his loan payments?  He had a wife and child to support.  It wasn’t just him.  If it was just him, he might be able to handle this, but he had Laura and Elliot to think about.  Finally, the surreal feeling was beginning to dissolve, and in its place was a growing sense of panic.  He hadn’t felt so hopeless since the night Elsie had struggled with her labor.  Nothing he’d done could have helped her.  All he could do was watch as things went from bad to worse.

“I think he’s in shock,” Mr. Larson told the fire chief.

The fire chief glanced from Jesse to Laura.  “We’ll leave you two alone.  If you can think of anyone who would have done something like this to you, it’s important you tell the sheriff.”

Laura frowned.  “You think this was intentional?”

“We found a box of matches,” the fire chief replied.  “We’re saving it for evidence.  We’ll give it to the sheriff when we get to town.”

“Can I see it?” Laura asked.

With a nod, he dug it out of his pocket and handed it to her.  Jesse finally took his eyes off the fields so he could look at it.  He didn’t recognize what was left of the design on the charred box of matches, but Laura did since she put her hand over her mouth and gasped.

“You know who did it?” the fire chief asked.

She blinked a few times as if to ward off some tears.  “My father buys these.”

Her father?  Jesse hadn’t seen her father since the day they married.  He had assumed her father had given up and was going to leave them alone.  Why, after all this time, would he burn their crops?

“Does your father have a reason to do this?” the fire chief asked.

“My mother was out here yesterday for lunch,” Laura said, tears in her voice.  She took a deep breath then added, “I thought he didn’t know, but he must have found out.  But even as angry as he must have been, I never thought he’d do something like this.” She gestured to the fields.

“Who’s your father?” the fire chief asked.

“Donald Rufus,” Laura whispered.

“I’ll let the sheriff know.  It would help if you and your husband came down to the jailhouse later today.  The sooner we get this matter resolved, the better.”

Laura nodded and handed the box of matches back to him.  Then she wiped her eyes.

The fire chief thanked them and headed back to his men.

Mr. Larson turned back to them.  “The others and I will figure out how we can help you two.  You’re not in this alone.  Jesse, my family still owes you from the time you helped us with Amanda while we were on the wagon trail.  Don’t be too proud to accept our help, alright?”

Since Mr. Larson was waiting for a response, Jesse nodded.  Mr. Larson seemed satisfied with that, so he went to his horse.

Even with their help, he didn’t see how it’d be enough.  Had it not been for the debt, it would have been, but he had payments he wouldn’t be able to make once November came.  Just how was he supposed to do it?  Of all the things he’d anticipated, he hadn’t once imagined someone would set fire to his crops.

He didn’t know whether to give into his fatigue or his panic, but after a couple of minutes of slipping between both feelings, he gave up on the panic.  No amount of panicking in the world was going to bring back the crops.  All the fight left him, and he sank to his knees.  With a groan, he leaned forward and put his face in his hands.

If he’d stayed in New York, he might still be working in the factory, but Elsie might have survived the birth and he wouldn’t be facing an overwhelming amount of debt.  Staying in New York would have solved so many of his problems.  But even as he let the feeling sweep over him, another—a stronger—feeling worked its way to the surface.

Laura.  If he hadn’t come out here, he wouldn’t be with her.  He had loved Elsie.  A part of him always would.  He was thankful for the time he’d had with her, and he would always be grateful to her for giving him Elliot.

But he also loved Laura.  He couldn’t imagine his life without her.  And they had a future together.  A future out here.  Deep in his heart, he knew things had worked out the way they were meant to.  There was a reason she’d been on the wagon trail with him.  There was a reason she’d offered to help him take care of Elliot in the aftermath of Elsie’s death.  There was a reason they had developed a friendship that had eventually led to more.

Elliot was supposed to be here.  Fanny was supposed to go back to New York.  And Laura was supposed to be his wife.

Laura put her arms around him and leaned into him.  That was so much like her, too.  She was always there to do whatever she could to offer him comfort and support.  He didn’t know how things were going to proceed from here, but he knew Laura would be with him through it all.  For better or worse, they would get through this together.

He straightened up so he could hug her.  He buried his face in the nape of her neck and took comfort in knowing she was the one thing he could depend on in this life.

“I’m sorry, Jesse,” she whispered, tears, once more, finding their way into her voice.  “I saw my father that day I went to town with you, and he warned me to stay away from my mother.  If I had any idea he would do this to you, I would have told you.  But I didn’t, so I pretended nothing was bothering me.  You were so happy that day, and I didn’t want to ruin that for you.”

“It’s alright,” he whispered.  Even if she had told him about her father that day, he never would have guessed her father was going to burn the fields, either.  Up to now, her father hadn’t given him any reason to suspect it.

She clasped him tighter to her.  “It’s not fair.  You’ve had so much sorrow in your life, and now this has happened.  You deserve to be happy, Jesse.  That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

He lifted his head so he could look at her.  Wiping the tears from her cheeks, he said, “I am happy.  I have you, and I have Elliot.  I’m just scared I can’t keep paying on the loan.  If I can’t do that, the bank will take over the property, and I don’t know where we’ll end up.”

“I’ll do everything I can to help you.  Somehow, we’ll get through this.”

She loved him.  He didn’t know why he hadn’t realized it before, but now, as he looked into her eyes, he knew she loved him so much she would give up everything for him.  And that made him love her more than he’d ever loved anyone or anything.

“I love you, Laura,” he whispered.

Then, cupping her face in his hand, he lowered his head and kissed her to show her how much she meant to him.

Chapter Twenty

Laura held Elliot as she and Jesse stepped into the jailhouse.  To her surprise, her mother was already there, standing in front of her father who was in one of the cells.  The sheriff was next to her, probably to lend support as the two talked.

Her father scowled at her mother.  “You’re my wife.  Your duty is to obey me.”

Her mother stared at him for a long moment, and Laura could only guess what was going through her mind until she said, “I gave up everything else for you, but I’m not giving up our daughter.”

“No daughter of mine would persist in defying me.”

“Well, she is your daughter, and yes, she would.  What you were demanding was too much.  A woman has a right to be happy.”

Laura’s father glanced over at Laura and Jesse then frowned.

Her mother, in turn, looked at them and ran over to hug Laura.  “Oh, my dear, I’m sorry,” she whispered in her ear.  “I thought I was careful, but he found out I went to your place yesterday.  This whole thing is my fault.”

“No, Mother, it’s not,” Laura said.  “You aren’t responsible for what he did.”

The sheriff came over to them.  “Mr. Rufus admits to burning your crops,” he told Jesse.  “There won’t be a need for a trial.”

“What’s going to happen to him?” Jesse asked.

“He’s going to stay in jail.  What he did was a crime, and he’ll have to suffer the consequences of it.”

“Good luck paying off the debt you owe on the place,” Laura’s father told Jesse.

Jesse approached the cell.  “We’ll find a way through this.  I’ve been at the point where I barely had anything left, but I made it through because Laura was there.  I love your daughter.  If I have to give up everything to have her, I will.”

Her father shook his head.  “All the love in the world can’t put a roof over your head and food on your plate.  Come back in a few months when you’re out of a home and tell me how important love is.”

Laura’s mother went up to the cell, a steely expression on her face that Laura had never seen before.  “No such thing will happen to them.  You owe them for what you did.”

“That might work if I didn’t have all of my money tied up in investments,” her father replied.  “Those aren’t due to cash in for another year, at which time the boy will have lost everything.”

Her mother’s lips formed a tight line, and then her eyes lit up and she smiled.  “I have money in my account.”

“You can’t touch that money without my approval.  You know very well you need a male relative in order to take out any money.”

Her mother turned to the sheriff.  “In light of what he’s done, can’t I get around that?”

The sheriff thought about it for a moment then said, “Jesse’s your son-in-law.  By law, he’s a male relative.”

With a satisfied nod, she turned back to her husband.  “I’m going to have Jesse take the money out of the bank, and I’m going to put all that’s in there on his debt.”

Her father stiffened.  “Don’t be a fool.  You will be left with nothing if you do that.”

“That’s not true,” Laura spoke up.  The others turned to her, and she cleared her throat.  “We have a little home right there on our property that isn’t being used ever since Fanny left.  Mother can come out there.” She looked at Jesse.  “What do you think?”

Jesse smiled.  “Yes, of course.” He turned his gaze to her mother.  “You’re more than welcome to stay with us.”

“There you go,” her mother told her father.

“I worked hard for that money,” her father snapped.  “You have no right to go in and take it.”

“You want to talk about hard work?” her mother asked.  “I cooked your meals, cleaned your house, washed your clothes, and did everything you told me to for twenty-five years.  I earned that money.  It’s rightfully mine, and I’m going to use it to make things right with Jesse and Laura.”

“You do this,” her father began, “and I will have nothing else to do with you.”

“I realize you mean that as a threat,” her mother said, “but considering how miserable I’ve been all this time, it’s the best thing you’ve ever done for me.” She turned to Jesse and Laura.  “Let’s find out how much money is in that account.”

***

As it turned out, Laura’s mother had just enough in her account to pay off the entire debt, so that was what they did with the money.  Afterwards, they moved her into Fanny’s old home, and Laura developed the close relationship she’d never had with her while growing up.  In late August, Jesse received a letter from Fanny’s brother.  Although he wasn’t too happy to have his sister back, he said he couldn’t blame Jesse for getting fed up with her.  The matter turned out to be of little consequence anyway since two weeks later, Jesse received word that she died of natural causes.

In late September, Joe came to Omaha, and Jesse invited him to stay with him and Laura.  Upon seeing him, Laura ran out to the porch and gave him a hug.  “It’s good to see you,” she told him.

“It’s good to see you, too,” Joe replied, smiling at her warm welcome.  “You better watch out.  If Jesse catches you hugging me like that, he might get jealous.”

Noting the teasing tone in his voice, she laughed.  “Oh, he knows he has nothing to be jealous of.  I love him and only him.”

“Well, there’s no denying he loves you.  All the way over here, he couldn’t stop talking about you.  He kept saying that she’s the best wife in the world.  Wait until you taste the new fried chicken recipe she has.  She put in a new garden.  And then there’s the biggest news of them all.  You’re due to have a child next year?”

“Yes.  In May.  We’re excited.”

“I’m excited for you both.  It’s nice to see you two doing so well.”

She sensed something was on the tip of his tongue, but since he seemed to be reluctant to bring it up, she encouraged, “What is it?”

“I was wondering how Amanda and Richard are doing.”

“They’re doing well.  Richard’s business is picking up, and Amanda just found out she’s expecting.”

“That’s good.  I’m glad they’re happy.”

“Are you still in love with her?” Laura asked.

He shrugged.  “I often wonder how things might have been if we had married, but I know she belongs with Richard.  He’s a good man, and I know he’s doing a good job of taking care of her.”

It was on the tip of Laura’s tongue to tell him there had to be someone out there waiting for him, but her mother came out of the house, holding Elliot in her arms.

“Joe Otto?” her mother asked.  “Is it really you?”

“The one and only,” he said.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“I manage to stop by Omaha once in a while, and Jesse was nice enough to offer me a place to eat and sleep whenever I do.”

“We’re glad to have you,” Laura said.  “Where are your things?”

“Jesse said he’d bring them in after he’s done taking care of my horse,” he replied.

“Come on in and sit for a while.” Laura’s mother gestured for him to follow her into the house.  “Laura and I are making pot roast.  I hope you saved room for supper.”

“I did.” Joe patted his stomach.  “It’ll be nice to have a home cooked meal for a change, though I heard so much about your daughter’s fried chicken I can’t help wondering when I’ll get to see if it’s as good as Jesse says.”

Chuckling, Laura said, “I’ll make that tomorrow.  Then you can decide for yourself.”

The women led Joe into the house, and soon after, Jesse joined them.  They ate their evening meal as Joe told them all about his trip to western Nebraska and back, and listening to the things he’d seen and done along the way reminded Laura of the trip she’d taken across the country only a year ago.

It had been a big risk, venturing into the unknown, taking a chance that what was waiting for them would be better than what they’d left behind.  But, as she looked around at her mother, Elliot, and Jesse, she couldn’t help but think the pain had been worth the reward.  Only, she appreciated it more because she had experienced the hardships along the way, and when Jesse glanced her way, she could tell he agreed.

Once her mother went to her home and Laura had put Elliot in the crib for the night, she made some hot chocolate and brought it out to the porch.  After she gave it to Joe and Jesse, she sat next to Jesse.

“I don’t know if I should do it or not,” Joe was telling Jesse.  “It seems like an easy way to make money, but I always thought when I married, it’d be for love, not because someone made a business arrangement with me.”

Surprised, Laura almost coughed on her sip of hot chocolate.  She quickly swallowed the drink and asked, “What’s this about you getting married?”

Jesse glanced at her and smiled.  “He hasn’t decided whether he wants to do it or not.  He’s asking for my opinion, and I told him he has nothing to lose by doing it.”

“Doing what?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“Marrying a man’s daughter so she can go all the way to California,” Joe said before Jesse could do it.  “An unmarried woman can’t go on the wagon trail unless she’s traveling with family or is married, and this particular young woman will be by herself.  When we get to California and she’s with her aunt and uncle, I can dissolve the marriage.”

“I think he should do it,” Jesse said.  “I mean, what does he have to lose?  He’ll be on the trail anyway, and better yet, he can make extra money.”

“I don’t know,” Joe argued.  “It just seems deceitful.”

“What’s deceitful about it?  You’re not marrying her under false pretenses.  She knows this is a business arrangement as much as you do.  The two of you are only making this agreement for a short time.  When it’s over, you’ll get money and she’ll get to her aunt and uncle’s.  Both of you will get something out of it.”

“I’ll have to think about it.” He drank his hot chocolate and stood up.  “It’s been a long day.  I’m going to head in and get some sleep.  Thanks for letting me stay here.”

“Any time,” Jesse told him.

After Joe went into the house, Laura turned to him.  “You really think it’s a good idea that he marries a woman he doesn’t know just so she can go to California?”

“I wouldn’t have told him to do it if I didn’t think it was a good idea.” He reached for her hand and squeezed it.  “The worst that can happen is that he’ll end up dissolving the marriage.  But, maybe they’ll end up falling in love and decide to stay married.  I mean, we started our marriage as a mutually beneficial arrangement, and it worked for us.  Who’s to say it won’t work for him?”

Touched, she smiled.  “Why, Jesse, I had no idea you were a romantic.”

“My life turned out much better than I thought possible because of you.  I’m glad you’re in my life, and I’m looking forward to giving Elliot brothers and sisters he can play with.” With a grin, he let go of her hand and patted her stomach.  “And starting in May, we’ll bring him the first one.  Sometimes the best things that happen do so when you least expect it.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Then she leaned toward him and kissed him, looking forward to every day they would share together.

Coming December 18, 2016

Groom for Hire (Pioneer Series: Book 3)

When asked to lead another wagon train West, a man makes an unusual request of Joe Otto. He offers Joe money to marry his daughter so she won’t have to go on the trails without the protection of a husband.

Once she reaches her destination, Joe’s free to annul the marriage. Since Joe can’t imagine loving anyone by the young lady he left in Omaha, this seems like an easy arrangement. But as in other areas of life, few things are ever so simple.

Reserve Your Copy Today!

***

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Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Coming Soon: Groom For Hire

More Excellent Reads at Parchment & Plume