1 00:00:38,817 --> 00:00:43,717 04 Scary Movie 4 - Comedy 2006 English 2 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,707 Help! Help! 3 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:55,006 - Am I dead? - You're not dead. 4 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,262 You've been taken against your will. 5 00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:58,680 Kobe? 6 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,682 Who is that? 7 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,307 Dr. Phil? What the hell's going on? 8 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:12,354 I don't know. I was doing a show on teens with abandonment issues 9 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,609 and suddenly I woke up here. 10 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,032 Man, those kids are gonna be pissed. 11 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:22,618 Hello, gentlemen. You don't know me but I know you. 12 00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:25,996 You both play games with other people for a living. 13 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,911 But today, you play a game for your lives. 14 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:32,169 Right now you are both breathing in a deadly nerve gas. 15 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:35,881 You have 120 seconds to reach the antidote 16 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,257 or you die. 17 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,338 Oh, my God! I've gotta get out of here. 18 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,257 Let the game begin. 19 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,552 There. 20 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,523 Hit the metal arm with something. 21 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:55,900 There. 22 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,166 Damn it! 23 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:12,125 - Sorry. - Shaquille, 24 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:17,085 I'm not angry at you but we are one minute away from death. 25 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,546 Just shut out the "no" voice. 26 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,180 Own your success. 27 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,599 Just make the damn basket. 28 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:37,817 - What the hell was that for? - You hurt my feelings. 29 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:43,153 Your feelings? To hell with your feelings. Everybody with their feelings. 30 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:46,238 "I'm obese." "My kid's a brat." "Help me, help me." 31 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:50,956 Just shut up! Why can't I fix anyone? I'm so dumb and worthless. 32 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:53,834 Momma was right, Momma was right. 33 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:57,963 Hey, hey, hey. Pull yourself together. You're a brilliant doctor. 34 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,136 - Not exactly. - What? 35 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,260 I just tell people to "get real". 36 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,767 I'm not even a psychologist. 37 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,519 I'm an electrician. 38 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:13,016 I failed you, Shaq. I failed you. 39 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,984 ' 3% van. ' Yes'.! 40 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,664 30 seconds left. 41 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,127 - This'll never work. - Of course, 42 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:37,415 he wants us to cut through our feet. 43 00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,375 You go first. 44 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,752 Bullshit. 45 00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:45,890 Yeah. You're probably not man enough. 46 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,718 I guess your momma was right. 47 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:54,853 Never. Who's the coward now, Momma? 48 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,934 Candy from a baby. 49 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,028 - Oh, my God! - I did it! We're saved. 50 00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,698 - What's wrong? - Wrong foot. 51 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,450 Motherf... 52 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:29,551 No one believed, in the early years of the 21st century, 53 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,848 that our world was being watched. 54 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,979 The way a man with a microscope 55 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:36,978 might scrutinise the creatures in a drop of water. 56 00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:01,253 Yet across the gulf of space, 57 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:04,881 a terrible evil prepared to unleash itself 58 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:08,048 upon an unsuspecting human race. 59 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,322 You're up early. Come back to bed. 60 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,866 Come on. 61 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,195 Please. 62 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,723 Hello? Hello? 63 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:57,558 Tom! 64 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:04,153 Know you missed me. I missed you too. God, you look great. 65 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:08,073 I wanted to come by to thank you for setting up that job interview for me. 66 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,615 This isn't a good time. 67 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:13,154 I just need something to keep me busy now that Cody's out of the house. 68 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,828 He just turned 11. I enrolled him in military school last year. 69 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,159 It's supposed to be a great programme. 70 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:22,918 Boy, kids, you know, they just grow up so fast. 71 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,840 So I heard you were dating again. 72 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,133 Knowing you, I bet she's brainy. 73 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:30,011 - "Quixotic". - Ninety points! 74 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:48,318 Your work with the elderly really inspired me, Tom. 75 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:52,951 I mean, they have so much to teach us and we have so much to teach them. 76 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:58,499 You know, ultimately they really are just like us. Only older. 77 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:02,036 Anyway, I'm hoping that a new career 78 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:05,831 will help keep my mind off of bad memories. 79 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:10,048 I'm sure you have memories too. He's the kind of person you never forget. 80 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:13,130 Sometimes I wake up in the night wondering where he is. 81 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,965 And then I remember. 82 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:19,554 Know you miss him too but it's really been hardest on me. 83 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:23,565 I'm rattling on, but if you don't vent your emotions 84 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:28,112 they just well up and burst out. The harder you try, the harder it all gets. 85 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:31,532 Until you just can't shake it off any more. 86 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:34,739 It's like you're carrying around this enormous burden. 87 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:39,533 Sometimes your problems get so big you can't wrap your head around them. 88 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,076 - And then what do you say to yourself? - Jesus! 89 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:45,708 Yes, you can turn to religion, or family and friends, 90 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,920 but in the end, you're still in agony. 91 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,461 Maybe that's why I want to become a nurse. 92 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,763 I'm so in tune with everyone's emotions. 93 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,557 I guess I've always had a knack for being... 94 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,919 Ryan, go home. You've been working 16 straight hours. 95 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,426 Come on, I need the overtime. 96 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:35,963 Don't worry, OK. I'm wide... 97 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,559 Ryan, what are you doing? 98 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:47,308 That was gold bullion. 99 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,316 Not the monkeys! 100 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,709 Damn it, Tom, what the hell happened back there? 101 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,295 Come on, Ed, that could a happened to anyone. 102 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,626 Oh, yeah? You know what your problem is? 103 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,713 As soon as the going gets tough, you give up. 104 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:17,797 - You're right. I quit. - Ah, you don't get it, do you? 105 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:20,967 You could be the best, if only you'd see things through. 106 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,477 - I don't know. - Give me a break. 107 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,513 What can I tell you, Ed? I guess I'm no good. 108 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,690 Maybe I just don't have what it takes. 109 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:32,441 What are you talking about? You secured that tricky H-500 unit. 110 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,362 Oh, come on, that was easy. 111 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,665 Tom Ryan. Haven't seen you in a while. 112 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:49,248 Well, I spend every waking minute of my life operating a crane. 113 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,542 God, I hate my job. 114 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,136 Yo, Tom! Where you been? 115 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:01,306 - Mahalik. - CJ, this is my boy Tom Ryan. 116 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,850 We used to work together down at the docks. 117 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,809 - Tom, how's the family, man? - You remember Marilyn? 118 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,436 - Your wife. How could I forget? - She dumped me. 119 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,440 Yeah, I know. I slept with her a few times. 120 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,941 - What? - Me too. 121 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,944 You guys talking about Marilyn? Great lay. 122 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,741 My pops introduced me to her. 123 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,570 Since the divorce it's like my life has no purpose. 124 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:26,032 - Half the time, I feel like a zombie. - Don't joke about zombies. 125 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:29,076 - That shit is real. - You know LaShanda on 120th Street? 126 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,210 Yeah. 127 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,213 She told me she heard a zombie going through her trash. 128 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,670 The next morning, she turned up missing. 129 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,718 What? OK, back up. How in the hell do you turn up missing? 130 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:42,051 Nobody knows where you are when they realise you ain't there. 131 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,592 - I'm trying to... - Whoa, so you're telling me 132 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,136 you can appear and disappear at the same time? 133 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,221 No, you can't do both at the same time. 134 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,766 - The bitch ain't David Copperfield. - Guys... 135 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:55,402 No, but you can be gone from one place and show up somewhere else. 136 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:59,735 When you turn up, you're never missing. When you're missing, you never turn up. 137 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,446 Unless you a zombie. 138 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,951 Damn! That's some plausible shit! You should blog about that. 139 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,658 - I'm gonna put that on Myspace. - You do it then. 140 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:14,789 Tom, what you need to do, man, you need to get away from all this. 141 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:17,716 - You need to take a break. - I don't know. 142 00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:21,261 No, he's right, man. You should come fishing with us one weekend. 143 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:24,014 Me and Mahalik found this great spot last summer. 144 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,432 Yeah. Great spot. 145 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,191 Hey. 146 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,110 You cold? 147 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,276 A little bit. 148 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:52,368 Hey, look, man, I'm not on the down low or nothing, all right? 149 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,871 Oh, that's cool, man. Me neither. 150 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,584 Hey, what you doing? 151 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,885 Relax. I'm just trying to grab some nuts. 152 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,806 CJ, what are you doing? 153 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,644 I just wanna eat some penis. 154 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,352 See, peanuts. 155 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,868 I've been alone with you. 156 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,917 Inside my mind. 157 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:38,372 And in my dreams I've kissed your lips. 158 00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,298 A thousand times. 159 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:47,549 I sometimes see you pass outside my door. 160 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:51,476 Hello. 161 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:55,556 Is it me you're looking for? 162 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,399 I can see it in your eyes. 163 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:02,229 I can see it in your smile. 164 00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:06,317 You're all I ever wanted. 165 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,903 And my arms are open wide. 166 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,076 'Cause you know just what to say. 167 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,161 And you know just what to do. 168 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,462 Ooh, baby. 169 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,632 And I want to tell you so much. 170 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,422 I love you. 171 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:36,096 - Yeah. We caught a lot of fish. - Yeah. 172 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,313 Black cod. 173 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:45,026 - Damn. - Tom, I don't want you thinking... 174 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,198 I hope this won't affect your opin... 175 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,743 Why do that when it's the first time we've met? 176 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:06,384 - Late again, Tom. - Hey, Marilyn. 177 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:09,634 - I thought you were moving. - It's all I can afford right now. 178 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,639 You took everything except my name. 179 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,891 No, the judge granted me that yesterday. 180 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:17,892 You're now officially known as Horace P. McTitties. 181 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,394 I'm sure your new husband is pleased. 182 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:23,147 He's a good man. A provider, unlike you. 183 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:27,360 - You never cared about our children. - That's not true, I'm a great dad. 184 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,407 Kids. 185 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,235 Dad? 186 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,125 - Hi, Dad. - Hey, Rachel. 187 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,037 How's it going there, princess? 188 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,465 It's locked. 189 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,341 - Let me help you. - I should do that. 190 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,301 - It's no problem. - I don't mind. 191 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,432 - Neither do I. - Fine, you take it. 192 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,185 I'll see you on Tuesday. 193 00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,182 Hey, Marilyn. 194 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,478 It's a good look for you, being pregnant. 195 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,143 I'm not pregnant. 196 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,359 I didn't mean... I'm sorry. 197 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,191 If you wanna make things right, start with our kids. 198 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,703 You're right. Those kids are all I have in this world. 199 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,865 Well, the kids and my car. 200 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,881 Mr Koji. Looks like we need someone new for the Norris account. 201 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:31,883 Again? Every day we don't have someone looking after this woman, I lose money. 202 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:35,557 - What happened to last girl? - Yoko. Take a look. 203 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:40,729 Holy shit! Someone put a towel under her or something. Christ. 204 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:44,604 It's the Norris house, Mr Koji. They say it's cursed. 205 00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,731 There's no such thing as a curse. 206 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:50,948 Don't be ridiculous. Those just old wives' tales. 207 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:54,571 I need someone there today or I'm in big trouble. 208 00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:03,373 Hello. I'm Cindy Campbell, I'm looking for a job in home healthcare. 209 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:07,631 I was recommended by a family friend, but unfortunately he... Oh, my God! 210 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,835 Don't mind her. She slip and fall. 211 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,965 You my new best employee. 212 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:16,298 - Ready to start today? - It's so fast. I don't know. 213 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,759 Trust me, you're gonna love this job. 214 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,223 I show you. We can be there in ten minutes. 215 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,783 Come. Come. 216 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,791 Mr Koji? 217 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,634 Hello? 218 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,054 Oh. my God! 219 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:09,313 OK. Let's get you up and... 220 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,692 Here we go. Oh, I'm sorry. 221 00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:17,151 There you are. I see you've met Mrs Norris. She catatonic. 222 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,994 Yes, I was just trying to get her back up on the bed. 223 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,822 I was afraid she'd be hurt. 224 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,120 I just saw her lying here on the floor. 225 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,956 Of course. I help. You grab her legs, I grab her arms. 226 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,666 Mrs Norris, I'm here to take care of you. 227 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:33,170 Yes, I'm very happy to meet you too. 228 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:38,213 See, this job perfect for you. Let me show you rest of house. 229 00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:40,386 Right this way. 230 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,429 So, what do you think? 231 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:47,811 I don't know. There's something strange about his house. 232 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,061 A presence. 233 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:52,519 A presence? Don't be silly. Nothing wrong with this house. 234 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:56,607 It's funny. I always dreamt I'd live in a house like this with my husband. 235 00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,692 But I guess that's just all in the... 236 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,161 Past. 237 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,363 Who wants to see upstairs? 238 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:08,209 It's a nice neighbourhood, close to schools and shopping. 239 00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:12,039 Hardwood floors throughout. Passed almost every inspection. 240 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:15,797 Big back garden. Goes back 100 feet. 241 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,843 There's a garden on the other side... 242 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:25,056 And in here is the bathroom. Very big, very... 243 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,687 nice. 244 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:32,021 It is nice. It seems like it'd be a great place to work. 245 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:35,687 I just can't shake this feeling of evil. 246 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,731 Evil? That's crazy talk. 247 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,072 Do you know about the people who used to live here? 248 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:49,584 People? No, nothing about people. I don't remember anything. 249 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,246 Did something strange happen in this house? 250 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:55,924 Strange? Don't be silly. This house perfectly normal. 251 00:18:55,968 --> 00:19:00,257 I'm sure you're right. And yet it's as if someone's watching us. 252 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,638 - Mr Koji? - That was me. 253 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:08,186 Just excited about hiring you. 254 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,139 Very, very enthusiastic. 255 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:16,770 We offer medical and dental, and two weeks' paid vacation. 256 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:20,573 I am hoping you can start today. 257 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:24,486 Maybe get in a whole week. You perfect for this job. 258 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,742 It a wonderful opportunity for you. 259 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:30,245 Mr Koji, is there something you're not telling me about this? 260 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,917 I was dirty. 261 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:40,965 So... 262 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,092 the job? 263 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,016 I'll take it. 264 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,807 Get your glove, I'm in the backyard. 265 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,768 Robbie, come on. Let's go. 266 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:59,654 That's not how you're gonna get through to him. 267 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:03,358 Look, Rach, this is guy stuff. You gotta trust me. 268 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:09,072 All right, Robbie, you ready for the Tom Ryan express? 269 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:22,089 Yeah. Maybe one day I can grow up to be just like you. 270 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:25,217 All right, I know I let you kids down 271 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:28,011 but you have no idea how hard it is to be a father. 272 00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:31,720 When you start... let me know. 273 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:44,491 - Are you OK? - My eyes! My eyes! 274 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,866 Oh, much... 275 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,248 better. 276 00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,414 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, it's OK. 277 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,708 I've taken balls to the face before. 278 00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,545 Hi, I'm Cindy Campbell, your new neighbour. 279 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:04,127 I'm Tom Ryan. Do you live here all by yourself? 280 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,171 Well, I'm taking care of Mrs Norris, 281 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:11,009 but, yes, for the first time in my life I'm on my own. 282 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:14,850 I know that feeling. It wasn't always that way. 283 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:16,897 I know. 284 00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:19,066 You thought you'd found your soul-mate. 285 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,230 Yes. 286 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,862 And then one day, you come home 287 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:26,525 and find your so-called soul-mate in bed with a complete stranger. 288 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:29,820 Well, not a complete stranger. Sammy Sosa. 289 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,163 Sound familiar? 290 00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:36,371 No, not at all. 291 00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:39,204 But I do know what it's like to be in that much pain 292 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,084 and the worst part is that 293 00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:43,416 - you have to suffer through it... - Alone? 294 00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,923 - It looks like we have a lot in... - Common. 295 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:50,341 - We already finish each other's... - Dinner. 296 00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:52,591 Sentences. 297 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:58,974 Well, maybe all we really need is a friend. 298 00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:03,524 I'd like that. Well, I'd better get back to Mrs Norris. 299 00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:05,446 It's time to put her catheter in 300 00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:08,571 and then I've got to scrub in between her fat folds. 301 00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:12,237 I've got to lance her boils. I've got to open her up and... 302 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:47,939 colostomy bag and mop up the drool. 303 00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:49,820 That's wonderful. 304 00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:52,576 - I'll see you around. - Definitely. 305 00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:59,326 OK, Mrs Norris, time to dig out that doody bubble. 306 00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:27,547 Mrs Norris, have you noticed anything strange about this house? 307 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:29,089 Yes. Yes. 308 00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:31,588 . No? ' Yes! 309 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:34,425 You're probably right. I guess I'm just being silly. 310 00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:38,516 Just relax. 311 00:24:38,602 --> 00:24:41,264 Here we go. OK. 312 00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:44,560 Oh, you poor thing, you don't have to be scared. 313 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:47,225 I'm here to take care of you. 314 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:51,111 You know, I think you and I are going to be wonderful friends. 315 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,940 I do. That's right. 316 00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:57,236 Just relax. Let's get in those ears. 317 00:24:57,663 --> 00:24:59,950 OK. All right. 318 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,747 That's right. 319 00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:03,700 That feels good. 320 00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:08,212 OK. 321 00:25:08,298 --> 00:25:10,255 You love this, don't you? 322 00:25:11,301 --> 00:25:14,760 It's nice and warm. Feels good, doesn't it? 323 00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:16,761 Oh. my God! 324 00:25:18,100 --> 00:25:19,135 I'm so sorry. 325 00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:42,135 Robbie. 326 00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:44,508 Come on. 327 00:26:44,561 --> 00:26:46,723 Let's toss the old pigskin. 328 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:58,732 I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there. Are you all right? 329 00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:02,326 - It's OK, my throat cushioned the blow. - Thank God. 330 00:27:02,412 --> 00:27:04,870 I lost my temper. My son's... 331 00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:08,624 - What's wrong? You look scared. - Nothing, it's just... 332 00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:12,370 There's something going on in this house. 333 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:15,502 - Last night I saw a face. - Did it have a nose? 334 00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:16,707 Yes. 335 00:27:16,802 --> 00:27:19,715 That does sound like a face. 336 00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:22,425 Then there was this weird hand in the shower, 337 00:27:22,516 --> 00:27:24,632 and this horrible thing on the stairs. 338 00:27:24,726 --> 00:27:26,763 I can't go through this all again. 339 00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:29,887 Oh, I get it. There's some other guy. 340 00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:33,103 You still love him, don't you? I wish you both the best. 341 00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:35,146 Wait. 342 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:38,613 You don't understand. It's painful to talk about, but... 343 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,147 you deserve to know. 344 00:27:41,952 --> 00:27:44,364 I was married once. 345 00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:47,492 - Get out the way, bitch. - Don't call me no bitch. 346 00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:50,746 - You ain't shit. - Shut your ass up, Snow Ho. 347 00:27:53,130 --> 00:27:56,589 Well, actually married twice. 348 00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:00,797 My husband and I were living our dream. 349 00:28:00,846 --> 00:28:04,635 Ladies and gentlemen, your challenger, Cindy Campbell. 350 00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:09,644 Stay loose, Cindy. Remember your training, keep your focus. 351 00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:14,811 Always think, "Where's the next punch coming..." 352 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:17,067 After 20 fights, I was undefeated. 353 00:28:17,154 --> 00:28:19,737 Only one fighter stood between me and the belt. 354 00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:21,780 We got this chick. She's nothing. 355 00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:23,983 Tiffany Stone. 356 00:28:29,291 --> 00:28:32,079 Cindy, I know you're scared but I believe in you. 357 00:28:32,169 --> 00:28:33,500 You can win this. 358 00:28:33,587 --> 00:28:36,830 If I win, George, then will you tell me what my nickname means? 359 00:28:37,466 --> 00:28:38,831 Yes, I promise. 360 00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:42,505 OK, now. Just stick with the jab, lead with your right. 361 00:28:42,596 --> 00:28:44,462 Watch your footwork. 362 00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:47,423 Let's go. 363 00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:59,186 You do that one more time, I'm taking a point off, you hear me? 364 00:29:01,114 --> 00:29:03,981 I've got it, I've got it. Dude, check it out. 365 00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:12,823 I can't take it any more. 366 00:29:24,054 --> 00:29:26,216 And that's when I lost my cool 367 00:29:26,265 --> 00:29:28,757 and made the biggest mistake of my life. 368 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,136 Cindy, no! 369 00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:33,476 Look, a nickel. 370 00:29:40,070 --> 00:29:43,062 No! 371 00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:28,866 George! No! 372 00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:35,414 If I hadn't had thrown that punch, none of it would have happened. 373 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:38,663 - I blame myself for it all. - As well you should. 374 00:30:38,754 --> 00:30:41,917 But, Cindy, the past is the past. 375 00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,673 Maybe you ought a think about your future. 376 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:49,175 If I'm ever going to love again, it has to be somebody who'll be there for me. 377 00:30:49,264 --> 00:30:52,632 I don't have a great track record in that department. Ask my son. 378 00:30:52,726 --> 00:30:55,388 I have. What's a cock monger? 379 00:30:57,481 --> 00:31:01,600 That's not important. What matters is I've let a lot of people down. 380 00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:06,403 - I should go. - Wait. 381 00:31:08,742 --> 00:31:11,905 Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy. 382 00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:17,244 But something about you makes me wanna try. 383 00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:37,977 - What's happening? - I don't know. 384 00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,106 Why is the sky so dark? 385 00:31:43,193 --> 00:31:45,605 Whys the wind moving towards the storm? 386 00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:49,821 Why don't any of us have dryers? 387 00:31:50,367 --> 00:31:53,075 I've never seen clouds like that before. 388 00:32:01,711 --> 00:32:03,543 - You OK? - Yeah. 389 00:32:03,630 --> 00:32:07,123 Can you believe that thunder? That storm is so fierce. 390 00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:09,959 - I've never seen anything like it. - Me either. 391 00:32:10,053 --> 00:32:11,714 Imagine being out there. 392 00:32:13,473 --> 00:32:15,339 That last one sounded really close. 393 00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:18,552 Don't worry, lightning never strikes the same place twice. 394 00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:22,972 - Where's Rachel? - I thought she was with you. 395 00:32:27,237 --> 00:32:28,568 Oh, there you are. 396 00:32:36,997 --> 00:32:39,955 OK. That's it. We're fine. 397 00:32:40,083 --> 00:32:42,620 That last bolt of lightning smelled like a... 398 00:32:42,919 --> 00:32:45,081 Giant turd. 399 00:32:45,714 --> 00:32:47,705 Yes, the lightning. 400 00:32:49,009 --> 00:32:51,091 I'll go look for Robbie. 401 00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:57,594 Turn it in again, see if it'll start. 402 00:32:57,726 --> 00:33:00,593 What's going on? The car's just not working. 403 00:33:01,229 --> 00:33:02,435 Start. 404 00:33:07,235 --> 00:33:10,273 My bowels have stopped moving. 405 00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:12,274 - Why? - How's it going, Marvin? 406 00:33:12,365 --> 00:33:14,572 Car was just working, now it's dead. 407 00:33:14,618 --> 00:33:17,280 - Try changing the solenoid. - Good idea. 408 00:33:18,079 --> 00:33:19,444 Death to America! 409 00:33:21,041 --> 00:33:22,782 Aw, shit. 410 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,456 Kill him! 411 00:33:44,147 --> 00:33:45,763 Run! 412 00:34:35,365 --> 00:34:36,947 Beautiful outfit. 413 00:34:38,159 --> 00:34:39,695 Thanks. 414 00:34:41,621 --> 00:34:43,908 - Move your ass, G. - Where y'all going? 415 00:35:00,724 --> 00:35:02,089 Hello. 416 00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:52,438 I can't read that. 417 00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:55,313 That's better. 418 00:36:03,453 --> 00:36:05,035 Robbie, Dad's home. 419 00:36:09,417 --> 00:36:11,408 What is it? What's going on? 420 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,386 Talk to me. What's happening? 421 00:36:27,477 --> 00:36:30,435 - There's no time to explain. - Alien attack! 422 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,812 Well, actually, that about sums it up. 423 00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:35,645 Fill this up with food. We're leaving in 60 seconds. 424 00:36:40,115 --> 00:36:41,401 My ass. 425 00:36:44,577 --> 00:36:46,067 Penis. 426 00:36:46,913 --> 00:36:48,119 We gotta go. 427 00:36:53,503 --> 00:36:55,494 - Cindy. - Tom. 428 00:36:56,256 --> 00:36:58,748 - Where are you going? - Someone's out there. 429 00:36:58,842 --> 00:37:02,506 Someone who knows a way to stop this. You wouldn't understand. 430 00:37:02,595 --> 00:37:05,087 - I understand. - Come with me. 431 00:37:05,181 --> 00:37:07,172 I'd like to, but my kids... 432 00:37:07,267 --> 00:37:09,178 I guess this is goodbye. 433 00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:12,011 When this is all over, promise me you'll find me. 434 00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,599 That you'll never forget me. 435 00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:16,273 That you won't give up until I'm back in your arms. 436 00:37:16,359 --> 00:37:18,020 Alive? 437 00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:20,944 - Yes. - I promise. 438 00:37:24,492 --> 00:37:25,857 Goodbye, Cindy. 439 00:37:30,373 --> 00:37:32,580 Hey, wait. 440 00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:36,960 A solenoid. For luck. 441 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,597 Marvin, did you put a solenoid in? 442 00:37:49,684 --> 00:37:51,891 Yeah, I got one from that crack-head. 443 00:37:51,978 --> 00:37:53,264 - Get in. - Why should we? 444 00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:57,643 Because you're my responsibility now and like it or not, I'm all you've got. 445 00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:03,270 Hey. 446 00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:06,402 - Thank God. - Hey, what are you doing? 447 00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:09,406 - Get in the car, Marvin. - Tom, stop joking around. 448 00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:11,954 Get in the car, Marvin, or you're gonna die. 449 00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:14,451 OK, fine. 450 00:38:16,377 --> 00:38:17,742 No, wait for me to... 451 00:38:19,422 --> 00:38:21,880 - Still locked. - Why are you reaching for...? 452 00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:24,041 - What do you mean? - All right, on three. 453 00:38:24,093 --> 00:38:26,881 - You counting now? - One, two, three, open the door. 454 00:38:26,930 --> 00:38:29,262 - OK, on three. - One, two, 455 00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:30,425 three. 456 00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:34,468 Don't do that. Now you're trying to annoy me. I'm going on three. 457 00:38:34,604 --> 00:38:36,595 - One... - Don't count when I count. 458 00:38:36,689 --> 00:38:39,772 - I don't know what you're doing. - Turn your mouth sideways. 459 00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:41,266 What, are you crazy? 460 00:38:41,361 --> 00:38:43,648 - One, two, three. - Two, three. 461 00:38:43,780 --> 00:38:46,147 - Don't do it at the same time. - You said three. 462 00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:48,983 - Go on four. Can you count? - On your three or my three? 463 00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:51,535 - Only one three. - I'm trying to get in the car! 464 00:38:51,621 --> 00:38:53,237 Then do it on four! 465 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:56,289 You said three. Are you doing it on three or am I? 466 00:38:56,376 --> 00:38:58,617 - I heard three! - You've got to do it on four! 467 00:38:58,753 --> 00:39:00,539 - Now it's four? - Why four? 468 00:39:00,630 --> 00:39:02,462 You gave me four! You stole my four! 469 00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:04,877 - You stole my four! - Just let me say three! 470 00:39:04,968 --> 00:39:07,335 You want the black man to wait again? 471 00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:10,591 - You can do whatever you want. - That's what I've been doing! 472 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,928 Why would you reach for it when I say three? 473 00:39:13,977 --> 00:39:16,469 - OK, do I still go on four? - When I say three. 474 00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:19,730 You don't worry about four. You got all the time in the world. 475 00:39:19,816 --> 00:39:22,308 You can go home, watch television and come back 476 00:39:22,402 --> 00:39:24,188 - and then open the door! - Fine! 477 00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:25,986 - One... - No! No one! 478 00:39:26,072 --> 00:39:27,312 I'm out! No, thank you! 479 00:39:27,407 --> 00:39:30,365 I'll take the next one. That work for you? 480 00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:33,235 - Jesus. - Attitude. 481 00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:37,452 Seriously, I'd rather be dead. 482 00:39:39,168 --> 00:39:41,159 "A girl had a pet duck." 483 00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:43,544 She fed and took care of her pet duck. 484 00:39:43,673 --> 00:39:46,882 But one day, the duck got loose and ran away from the girl. 485 00:39:47,844 --> 00:39:50,427 The duck ran down the road and kept running, 486 00:39:50,513 --> 00:39:52,675 "until he found a pond." 487 00:39:52,765 --> 00:39:58,101 Mr President, we've just received word the planet is under attack by aliens. 488 00:39:58,187 --> 00:40:00,428 Uh-huh. OK. 489 00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:04,816 Sir, they've already wiped out some of our cities. 490 00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:07,694 If nothing is done, they'll kill us all. 491 00:40:07,780 --> 00:40:09,987 I see. I'll handle that in a minute, 492 00:40:10,033 --> 00:40:13,401 but right now, I need to find out what's happening with the duck. 493 00:40:13,536 --> 00:40:17,450 Sir, with each passing moment, more people will die. 494 00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:22,205 The people are gonna die regardless, but this duck still has a fighting chance. 495 00:40:23,713 --> 00:40:26,876 I've read the story before, Mr President. 496 00:40:27,592 --> 00:40:29,299 The duck dies. 497 00:40:31,387 --> 00:40:33,549 My God! That's horrible. 498 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,553 Mr President, the aliens. We're under attack. 499 00:40:36,643 --> 00:40:39,556 You mean all of these children's parents could be dead? 500 00:40:41,356 --> 00:40:43,563 Kids! Kids! 501 00:40:43,650 --> 00:40:45,982 Please! It's not as bad as it seems. 502 00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:49,607 They didn't die alone. I'm sure they died with other people you love. 503 00:40:51,324 --> 00:40:53,565 Even Santa Claus? 504 00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:56,739 No, of course not. There's no such thing as Santa Claus. 505 00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:02,582 Just like the tooth fairy, completely made up. 506 00:41:03,503 --> 00:41:05,995 Easter bunny never existed. 507 00:41:07,215 --> 00:41:08,580 The female orgasm. 508 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:12,425 Wait and see what happens when you try to find it. 509 00:41:13,554 --> 00:41:16,467 What's wrong? Your parents are all getting divorces? 510 00:41:16,557 --> 00:41:19,049 I could give them a little advice if you'd like. 511 00:41:19,769 --> 00:41:21,760 Oh, I forgot, they're all dead. 512 00:41:22,689 --> 00:41:25,932 Let's go on to another story, Rumpleforeskin. 513 00:41:25,984 --> 00:41:28,772 Stiltskin, sir. We have to get you to the White House. 514 00:41:28,861 --> 00:41:32,024 I just don't get kids. Remind me to sign that abortion bill. 515 00:41:32,115 --> 00:41:33,321 Yes, sir. 516 00:41:46,129 --> 00:41:48,587 You may leave through the forward exit doors 517 00:41:48,631 --> 00:41:51,043 or the gaping hole in the side of the plane. 518 00:41:51,134 --> 00:41:55,503 We appreciate you flying with Southern Coast Air. Thank you. 519 00:41:55,596 --> 00:41:56,836 Hello? 520 00:42:00,143 --> 00:42:02,726 Hey, that's mine. I found it. 521 00:42:04,856 --> 00:42:07,188 - Cindy? - Brenda? 522 00:42:07,316 --> 00:42:10,809 Oh, my God. It's been so long. 523 00:42:10,903 --> 00:42:13,065 Yeah. Too long. 524 00:42:13,156 --> 00:42:16,899 - I thought you were dead. - Oh, I thought you were dead too. 525 00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:19,743 Were you on this plane? 526 00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:23,823 No, I'm trying to get a good story. I'm a reporter now, I work for local news. 527 00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:26,328 Wow, you're really doing well for yourself. 528 00:42:26,461 --> 00:42:29,169 I was on assignment. Take a look at this. 529 00:42:30,006 --> 00:42:31,713 Here's Detroit. 530 00:42:33,051 --> 00:42:35,008 And here's Detroit after the attack. 531 00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:40,388 Oh, my God. 532 00:42:41,309 --> 00:42:43,300 The attack was devastating. 533 00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:45,931 It's over, Cindy, humanity has lost the war. 534 00:42:46,022 --> 00:42:48,138 No, no, there's still hope. 535 00:42:48,232 --> 00:42:51,099 I have reason to believe someone here has the answers. 536 00:42:51,194 --> 00:42:53,185 Even a way for us to fight back. 537 00:42:54,447 --> 00:42:56,859 Come on. It'll make a great story. 538 00:42:57,784 --> 00:43:01,493 Maybe. But how are we supposed to get there? None of these cars work. 539 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,071 Wait, see if this works. 540 00:43:07,126 --> 00:43:10,414 Hey, I got the last running car in New York! 541 00:43:10,505 --> 00:43:13,167 This is how I roll, bitches! 542 00:43:18,554 --> 00:43:21,046 You're right, Cindy, that worked pretty well. 543 00:43:32,235 --> 00:43:34,146 Look at all the injured. 544 00:43:34,237 --> 00:43:35,773 It's so sad. 545 00:43:36,572 --> 00:43:38,358 Big-ass rat, man. 546 00:43:39,659 --> 00:43:43,402 - That sewer took forever to fix. - I'm gonna need a hot bath after all... 547 00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:46,784 What the hell happened here? 548 00:43:51,212 --> 00:43:52,919 - Zombies! - Damn! 549 00:43:54,882 --> 00:43:56,213 Let's go. 550 00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:59,091 Don't let 'em bite you! 551 00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:02,258 Good news, they can still feel electricity. 552 00:44:02,348 --> 00:44:05,431 Grandma? The zombies have got my grandma! 553 00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:07,801 Die, Grandma! Die! Die! 554 00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:09,928 I loved you! 555 00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:11,940 Mahalik? 556 00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:14,395 Look what they did to my grandmama! 557 00:44:19,365 --> 00:44:21,322 That woman raised me from birth. 558 00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,449 Hey, he's got a car. He's got a car. 559 00:44:32,545 --> 00:44:34,627 Give us the car! Take the keys! 560 00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:38,753 This isn't my car. I would, but I can't. It's not my car. It's not my car. 561 00:44:39,468 --> 00:44:43,177 Don't worry, kids, the doors are locked, there's no way they can... 562 00:44:43,306 --> 00:44:47,516 build a robot out of chocolate, but that's just common sense. Oh, waiter. 563 00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:50,476 - Daddy! - Kids! 564 00:44:59,405 --> 00:45:00,611 Why? 565 00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:04,031 Well... Get back! 566 00:45:04,952 --> 00:45:06,158 Get back. 567 00:45:09,957 --> 00:45:11,994 Give me the gun, I'm taking the car. 568 00:45:12,835 --> 00:45:14,826 What do I do about him? 569 00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:17,166 I don't want the car, I just need a gun. 570 00:45:17,215 --> 00:45:19,456 No way I'm giving up the gun. I want the car. 571 00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:23,593 So you need a gun and you want a car. 572 00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:26,922 - What do you want? - Well, I've never owned a knife. 573 00:45:27,808 --> 00:45:29,640 OK, let's all switch on three. 574 00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,139 One, two, three. 575 00:45:35,691 --> 00:45:38,058 - Is this right? - I don't think so. 576 00:45:40,696 --> 00:45:43,279 Dad, they're taking the car. 577 00:45:45,117 --> 00:45:47,734 Yes, well, let's keep going. 578 00:45:48,537 --> 00:45:51,279 What? That's it? You're giving up? 579 00:45:51,374 --> 00:45:56,039 Yeah, that's right. You want a hero, go find something else. 580 00:45:57,755 --> 00:45:59,211 Why? 581 00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:02,374 Let's go. 582 00:46:03,261 --> 00:46:04,968 Now, let me get this straight. 583 00:46:05,096 --> 00:46:08,555 The girl hugged the duck and then it dies? 584 00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:11,641 Mr President, the nation is under attack. 585 00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:13,388 Get me Homer Landskirty. 586 00:46:14,063 --> 00:46:16,521 You mean Homeland Security? 587 00:46:16,565 --> 00:46:20,229 Sir, this woman was an eyewitness to one of the attacks. 588 00:46:20,278 --> 00:46:22,895 - What can you tell us? - They're indestructible. 589 00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:25,530 The clothing was burned off everyone's bodies. 590 00:46:25,574 --> 00:46:27,906 There were naked people everywhere. 591 00:46:28,411 --> 00:46:30,869 - Were you naked? - No. 592 00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:33,993 Thank God, some good news at last. Get her a souvenir. 593 00:46:54,603 --> 00:46:58,062 Lil' Kim. Lil' Kim got my sandwich. 594 00:46:59,233 --> 00:47:01,395 Look out, Russell Crowe's got a phone! 595 00:47:03,112 --> 00:47:05,103 R Kelly, don't pee on me. 596 00:47:06,532 --> 00:47:08,364 My lovely lady lumps! 597 00:47:09,535 --> 00:47:11,697 - Where are we? - I'm not sure. 598 00:47:12,371 --> 00:47:15,909 I think we're close. It's supposed to be near Mile 62. 599 00:47:17,251 --> 00:47:20,539 - Is something wrong? - No, it's just... 600 00:47:21,464 --> 00:47:23,626 I met this guy. 601 00:47:23,716 --> 00:47:26,834 And I wonder if he's safe. Oh, you'd love him, Brenda. 602 00:47:26,927 --> 00:47:29,510 What's his name? I might have already loved him. 603 00:47:30,765 --> 00:47:33,302 - Tom Ryan. - Yep, did him. 604 00:47:33,976 --> 00:47:37,139 - Big, fat Chinese guy? - No. No. 605 00:47:38,272 --> 00:47:41,685 But he is the kind of guy I'd like to share the rest of my life with. 606 00:47:47,156 --> 00:47:48,772 Cindy! Look! 607 00:47:57,249 --> 00:47:59,411 - What is this place? - I don't know. 608 00:47:59,502 --> 00:48:02,995 But the boy's father's in there. We'll have to sneak our way in. 609 00:48:03,047 --> 00:48:05,163 We won't blend in dressed like this. 610 00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:06,585 Brenda, look. 611 00:48:06,675 --> 00:48:09,167 - He's a wonderful boy, isn't he? - Yes. 612 00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:40,369 Ezekiel? Ezekiel, where are you? 613 00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:49,966 Ezekiel, shall we have a foot race? 614 00:48:50,886 --> 00:48:52,468 No cheating. 615 00:49:15,661 --> 00:49:17,243 That's him. 616 00:49:17,329 --> 00:49:18,990 He's cute. 617 00:49:22,001 --> 00:49:23,833 Friends. Friends. 618 00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:27,378 Do not fear the noise of Those of Whom We Do Not Speak. 619 00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:29,672 There is a truce between our village 620 00:49:29,758 --> 00:49:32,250 and the creatures beyond our borders. 621 00:49:32,344 --> 00:49:34,756 Now, who would like to say grace? 622 00:49:37,224 --> 00:49:38,680 Ezekiel. 623 00:49:39,268 --> 00:49:40,724 Pee-pee. 624 00:49:41,395 --> 00:49:43,386 Pee-pee and vagina! 625 00:49:47,610 --> 00:49:49,442 Amen. 626 00:49:58,037 --> 00:50:00,119 - Father? - Holly. 627 00:50:02,082 --> 00:50:06,451 For what purpose do you interrupt the celebration of the... 628 00:50:06,587 --> 00:50:11,047 domestic partnership of Mordecai and Hoss? 629 00:50:11,133 --> 00:50:13,625 The guards caught two outsiders near the cabin. 630 00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:21,303 Who are you? 631 00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:24,431 I must speak with you. I was sent by your son. 632 00:50:24,522 --> 00:50:27,605 Don't be ridiculous. I have no son. 633 00:50:27,691 --> 00:50:28,897 That's not true. 634 00:50:28,984 --> 00:50:31,271 I know who you are. I've seen the pictures. 635 00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:33,694 I was young. I needed the work. 636 00:50:33,781 --> 00:50:36,148 No, in Mrs Norris' house. 637 00:50:36,242 --> 00:50:38,609 I didn't know whose house it was. 638 00:50:38,661 --> 00:50:40,902 They drugged me. Never mind that. 639 00:50:40,996 --> 00:50:45,331 You're outsiders. The council will decide your fates. 640 00:50:51,298 --> 00:50:54,962 The question of the outsiders is now at hand. 641 00:50:55,010 --> 00:50:58,628 But first, Martha, have you some tidings? 642 00:50:58,722 --> 00:51:02,932 Nathaniel Winston and Alice Smith have informed me of their intentions. 643 00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:06,435 He intends to have sex with her as soon as possible. 644 00:51:06,522 --> 00:51:10,106 She intends to put up a mild fight and then give in. 645 00:51:17,032 --> 00:51:19,865 Emos, something does trouble you? 646 00:51:21,078 --> 00:51:23,035 We now have a majority 647 00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:25,370 of those who wish to say "I'm", 648 00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:27,874 instead of "I am!!-" 649 00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:30,289 - I'm for that. - I am against it. 650 00:51:31,463 --> 00:51:33,079 Silence. 651 00:51:33,173 --> 00:51:35,665 We have more important matters to discuss. 652 00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:38,501 I fear that the presence of the outsiders 653 00:51:38,596 --> 00:51:42,760 will attract Those of Whom We Do Not Speak. 654 00:51:42,850 --> 00:51:46,514 If you talk about Those of Whom We Do Not Speak, 655 00:51:46,562 --> 00:51:49,520 have you not spoken about that of which we do not talk? 656 00:51:50,691 --> 00:51:56,061 Do not speak of that of about which we talk of not speaking... 657 00:51:56,905 --> 00:51:57,905 about. 658 00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:11,122 Elder Hale, we should welcome the outsiders among us. 659 00:52:11,211 --> 00:52:14,670 Jeremiah, ought not your tongue be held? 660 00:52:14,757 --> 00:52:16,668 I am sorry, Elder Hale, 661 00:52:17,593 --> 00:52:21,712 but sometimes my tongue wiggles beyond my ability to control it. 662 00:52:24,266 --> 00:52:27,258 This is a problem with which I have had much experience. 663 00:52:27,394 --> 00:52:30,477 Maybe I could help him in a room in which there are no others. 664 00:52:31,940 --> 00:52:34,147 Or you can all watch, I don't give a shit. 665 00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:43,782 After this, how about you take your thing 666 00:52:43,869 --> 00:52:45,280 of which we do not speak 667 00:52:45,371 --> 00:52:47,533 and slide it up in my place in which I like. 668 00:52:47,623 --> 00:52:49,534 Silence. 669 00:52:49,625 --> 00:52:51,536 The elders will consult. 670 00:53:01,261 --> 00:53:03,298 Much better. 671 00:53:35,337 --> 00:53:39,296 I'm not in my house, am I? 672 00:53:40,175 --> 00:53:41,210 No. 673 00:53:44,430 --> 00:53:49,015 Outsiders, we have decided to let you stay with us. 674 00:53:49,059 --> 00:53:52,552 So that you'll be safe from Those of Whom We Do Not... 675 00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:54,307 Or don't. 676 00:53:55,274 --> 00:53:56,309 Speak. 677 00:53:56,400 --> 00:54:01,440 But now that you are a part of our village, understand this: 678 00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:03,771 You may never leave. 679 00:54:04,533 --> 00:54:06,365 No! No! 680 00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:10,578 How did your son die? The fate of the world is at stake! 681 00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:13,497 - You know what to do. - Was it you? Did you kill him? 682 00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:16,000 This is some shit up with which we will not put! 683 00:54:16,044 --> 00:54:18,581 - I'm for that. - I am against it. 684 00:54:22,551 --> 00:54:25,634 This village isn't what it used to be. 685 00:54:27,765 --> 00:54:31,053 Just hours after the devastating alien attack, 686 00:54:31,101 --> 00:54:34,184 world leaders have gathered at the United Nations. 687 00:54:34,229 --> 00:54:36,937 In this, Mankind's darkest hour, 688 00:54:37,024 --> 00:54:41,109 the human race has turned as one to the wisdom and leadership 689 00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:43,277 of the President of the United States. 690 00:54:43,363 --> 00:54:46,446 Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States. 691 00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:52,036 - Go get 'em, tiger. - They mean you, sir. 692 00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:53,696 Oh, yes, of course. 693 00:55:02,716 --> 00:55:07,301 So, an Indian, a Frenchman and the Pope are all on a plane. 694 00:55:07,387 --> 00:55:11,255 The pilot says, "Hey, are any of you not circumcised?" 695 00:55:11,350 --> 00:55:15,435 So the Pope lifts up his robe and says, "Shut up, stupid, 696 00:55:15,479 --> 00:55:17,891 you don't even speak English." 697 00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:21,106 The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes. 698 00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:25,270 The man says, "I'm not squinting, you crazy Jew. You sold me cheap glasses." 699 00:55:26,114 --> 00:55:29,698 What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? 700 00:55:29,785 --> 00:55:33,278 The Belgian drinks wine but the dog shit smells good. 701 00:55:38,252 --> 00:55:43,213 On a serious note, I'm here today at the... Un, 702 00:55:43,298 --> 00:55:45,130 because Earth has been attacked. 703 00:55:45,259 --> 00:55:48,092 I'm happy to report we may have found a way to fight back. 704 00:55:48,136 --> 00:55:52,471 My military advisors at the Pentagram have managed to do the impossible. 705 00:55:52,516 --> 00:55:55,725 They have captured one of the alien heat-ray guns. 706 00:55:55,811 --> 00:56:00,055 The heat ray destroys the body, leaving behind nothing but clothes. 707 00:56:00,148 --> 00:56:03,812 Our engineers have managed to reverse the polarity of the weapon 708 00:56:03,902 --> 00:56:08,237 in the hopes that it can now be turned against the alien invaders. 709 00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:16,662 Now, where were we? 710 00:56:16,748 --> 00:56:20,332 Ah, yes. We expect the alien shields will be vulnerable 711 00:56:20,419 --> 00:56:22,456 to this reconfigured weapon. 712 00:56:23,505 --> 00:56:25,621 People, please. 713 00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:28,882 Please, please. 714 00:56:28,969 --> 00:56:33,179 People. Now, I know that this new technology may seem frightening, 715 00:56:33,265 --> 00:56:38,180 but I believe that deep down inside, this heat cannon is our best chance. 716 00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:40,390 Let me give you a demonstration. 717 00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:43,522 Let's see if this thing is plugged in. 718 00:56:46,695 --> 00:56:50,529 It's not a very pretty sight. Everything's loose and flapping around. 719 00:56:50,616 --> 00:56:52,527 Look at this little pink thing. 720 00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:02,826 Someone get some lubricant. We'll slather it around in here. 721 00:57:17,935 --> 00:57:21,053 Harper. Good God, these people are all naked. 722 00:57:21,188 --> 00:57:24,021 Have you no shame? Have you no decency? 723 00:57:24,066 --> 00:57:25,397 Sir, you're naked too. 724 00:57:25,525 --> 00:57:28,392 I am? I thought this was a wrinkly leather coat. 725 00:57:28,528 --> 00:57:30,269 - Sir! - These aren't buttons? 726 00:57:30,405 --> 00:57:33,363 - No. - I've been pulling this like a zipper. 727 00:57:33,408 --> 00:57:35,069 Mr President, please. 728 00:57:35,744 --> 00:57:37,576 There goes that duck again. 729 00:57:43,669 --> 00:57:45,626 Yo, man, you see this red weed? 730 00:57:46,129 --> 00:57:47,585 No. 731 00:57:47,673 --> 00:57:51,166 - Dad, how much further till Mom's? - I don't know. 732 00:57:51,259 --> 00:57:54,172 I'm not sure how much longer I can carry your sister. 733 00:57:54,262 --> 00:57:56,845 I've been walking this entire time. 734 00:57:57,432 --> 00:58:00,345 - Then who the hell is... - I'll pay you. 735 00:58:01,728 --> 00:58:04,060 - Stay close, Rachel. - Dad, look! 736 00:58:06,566 --> 00:58:08,933 Hey, hey, you guys! I want to help. 737 00:58:09,027 --> 00:58:10,358 Robbie! 738 00:58:10,445 --> 00:58:11,526 Oh, no. 739 00:58:12,823 --> 00:58:16,487 Don't move. Stay right there. I'll be right back. 740 00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:18,817 Hey! Hey, you guys! I want to help. 741 00:58:21,373 --> 00:58:22,909 Awesome! 742 00:58:23,542 --> 00:58:24,577 Wait! 743 00:58:24,668 --> 00:58:28,457 - Are you crazy? - No, they'll pay for half my college. 744 00:58:29,798 --> 00:58:31,630 Kick-ass! 745 00:58:31,758 --> 00:58:33,419 Robbie. 746 00:58:33,468 --> 00:58:35,584 - Yes! - What's the matter with you? 747 00:58:35,637 --> 00:58:38,846 Hey, look at that guy. This is so cool! 748 00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:42,309 Robbie! 749 00:58:42,894 --> 00:58:44,384 Robbie! 750 00:58:50,402 --> 00:58:52,894 Rachel! Rachel! 751 00:58:52,988 --> 00:58:55,275 Little girl, are you alone? 752 00:58:55,991 --> 00:59:00,030 You need to come with me. I'll keep you safe. Right, kids? 753 00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:03,112 - Do you have a little brother? - Get away from her. 754 00:59:06,626 --> 00:59:09,038 Run away, kids! 755 00:59:09,129 --> 00:59:10,995 Toward the tripod if you have to! 756 00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:14,507 Don't go! I've got a Ferris wheel and a chimp and a big, soft bed. 757 00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:16,462 We can all get in it. 758 00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:24,007 Not my real nose! 759 00:59:24,102 --> 00:59:25,934 Not my real face! 760 00:59:33,695 --> 00:59:35,277 Over here. 761 00:59:35,989 --> 00:59:37,946 Follow me to safety. 762 00:59:40,202 --> 00:59:41,658 Follow me to safety. 763 00:59:41,703 --> 00:59:45,662 - I don't know about this. - I'm an excellent judge of character. 764 01:00:14,027 --> 01:00:17,895 That's it. Oh, Brenda. Yes! 765 01:00:18,573 --> 01:00:19,608 You did it! 766 01:00:21,159 --> 01:00:24,447 You have learned quickly and produced splendid butter. 767 01:00:25,038 --> 01:00:27,405 Are you sure you've not churned before? 768 01:00:27,499 --> 01:00:30,036 We don't call it churning where I come from. 769 01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:36,334 He scourge is upon us. 770 01:00:37,676 --> 01:00:39,087 Pee-pee! Vagina! 771 01:00:53,650 --> 01:00:55,266 Quick! Into the cellar! 772 01:00:55,318 --> 01:00:57,935 No. 773 01:00:58,029 --> 01:01:01,317 This is the cellar. That's the cesspool. 774 01:01:01,658 --> 01:01:02,989 Damn it. 775 01:01:05,453 --> 01:01:06,864 Quick. 776 01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:33,019 Hey! 777 01:01:33,773 --> 01:01:35,355 You're not monsters. 778 01:01:37,485 --> 01:01:38,725 Old Lady Henderson? 779 01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:41,645 And Pig face Joe. 780 01:01:47,662 --> 01:01:50,245 - What happened? - It is Henry. 781 01:01:50,332 --> 01:01:52,323 He has suffered a heart attack. 782 01:01:52,959 --> 01:01:54,996 Brought on by this knife. 783 01:01:57,214 --> 01:02:00,252 - Who did this? - It was Ezekiel. 784 01:02:02,177 --> 01:02:04,168 Henry, you need a hospital. 785 01:02:04,262 --> 01:02:06,629 It's not too late, we can help you. 786 01:02:06,681 --> 01:02:09,799 Perhaps you could start by not leaning on the knife. 787 01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:14,553 Do not be concerned for him, Cindy. 788 01:02:14,648 --> 01:02:18,266 We have sent our most qualified villager for medicines. 789 01:02:31,081 --> 01:02:33,322 I am so dead. 790 01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:38,211 Please, leave me alone with Cindy and Brenda. I have much to tell them. 791 01:02:40,632 --> 01:02:42,339 Listen carefully to me. 792 01:02:42,384 --> 01:02:45,126 I am not long for this world. 793 01:02:45,220 --> 01:02:47,052 - Pussy. - Brenda. 794 01:02:47,138 --> 01:02:51,097 What? 50 Cent got shot nine times, he's still walking around. 795 01:02:51,184 --> 01:02:54,142 Tell me, Henry, who killed the boy? Was it you? 796 01:02:54,229 --> 01:02:58,097 No. I loved him and his mother very much. 797 01:02:58,191 --> 01:03:01,058 I should have been with him when he died. 798 01:03:01,111 --> 01:03:04,570 - It was horrible. - What happened? You must tell me. 799 01:03:04,698 --> 01:03:06,655 They went to a boxing match. 800 01:03:06,741 --> 01:03:09,358 It was a Women's Championship title fight. 801 01:03:10,453 --> 01:03:13,161 And there was a terrible accident. 802 01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:15,656 Oh. my God! 803 01:03:26,761 --> 01:03:28,843 Only in America! 804 01:03:33,351 --> 01:03:36,093 All this time I've been searching for his killer, 805 01:03:36,146 --> 01:03:38,183 when it was me, Brenda. 806 01:03:38,273 --> 01:03:40,184 It was all my fault. 807 01:03:40,275 --> 01:03:42,937 Henry, your son told me that if I found his killer 808 01:03:42,986 --> 01:03:44,977 I would know how to defeat the aliens. 809 01:03:45,071 --> 01:03:47,984 And he was right. Don't you see? 810 01:03:48,074 --> 01:03:49,940 All you have to do is... 811 01:03:54,497 --> 01:03:56,613 Who the hell let his ass out of jail? 812 01:03:56,666 --> 01:03:59,124 His brother, the sheriff. 813 01:04:02,047 --> 01:04:04,379 Fucking A. 814 01:04:10,138 --> 01:04:13,381 - There you go, sweetie. - We're gonna die, aren't we? 815 01:04:13,475 --> 01:04:16,092 Hey, nothing's gonna happen to you. 816 01:04:16,144 --> 01:04:19,512 - I haven't lost anyone yet. - You've lost Robbie. 817 01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:21,680 Except Robbie. 818 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:26,143 None of that matters now. What's important is I'm here with you. 819 01:04:26,196 --> 01:04:28,153 Try and get some sleep, OK? 820 01:04:28,990 --> 01:04:31,482 Sing me Lullaby and Goodnight. 821 01:04:32,952 --> 01:04:34,568 I don't know that one. 822 01:04:34,662 --> 01:04:37,199 Sing me Hushabye Mountain. 823 01:04:37,290 --> 01:04:40,328 I'm sorry, I don't know that one either. 824 01:04:51,137 --> 01:04:53,003 If you want this money. 825 01:04:53,098 --> 01:04:55,430 Then you gotta be a bad bitch. 826 01:04:57,227 --> 01:05:00,140 Shake that ass for a tip if you a bad bitch. 827 01:05:00,855 --> 01:05:03,973 Drop down to the floor if you a bad bitch. 828 01:05:04,818 --> 01:05:06,900 Oh, no, she ain't no ho. 829 01:05:06,986 --> 01:05:09,523 She a bad bitch... 830 01:05:16,996 --> 01:05:19,454 Hey. Come on in. 831 01:05:19,541 --> 01:05:21,532 Have a seat. 832 01:05:22,252 --> 01:05:25,870 - My name's Oliver. - Tom. Tom Ryan. 833 01:05:26,714 --> 01:05:28,921 I found this place. 834 01:05:29,008 --> 01:05:33,627 Plenty of food. Along with two freshly-killed busybodies upstairs 835 01:05:33,721 --> 01:05:37,055 who "owned" the place. We could stay here forever. 836 01:05:37,142 --> 01:05:39,224 - Are you afraid? - Of course I'm afraid. 837 01:05:39,310 --> 01:05:41,642 I'm not. I've been around death plenty. 838 01:05:41,729 --> 01:05:44,221 Used to drive an ambulance in the city. 839 01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:47,816 But apparently, I wasn't a very strong driver. 840 01:05:47,902 --> 01:05:50,769 It seems I was killing more people than I was saving. 841 01:05:50,864 --> 01:05:55,324 Something about that siren got me excited. Wham! 842 01:05:55,410 --> 01:05:57,196 Carnage. 843 01:05:57,245 --> 01:05:59,703 But this is different. This is a war. 844 01:05:59,747 --> 01:06:02,079 No, it's an extermination. 845 01:06:02,125 --> 01:06:05,584 It's no more of a war than there's a war between men and maggots, 846 01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:07,460 or dragons and wolves, 847 01:06:07,547 --> 01:06:11,506 or men riding dragons throwing wolves at maggots. 848 01:06:12,177 --> 01:06:15,340 Tom, can't you understand what I'm trying to tell you? 849 01:06:15,430 --> 01:06:17,467 These aliens must have a weakness. 850 01:06:17,557 --> 01:06:21,141 I heard that the Japs killed a few of them over in Kikkoman. 851 01:06:21,227 --> 01:06:25,016 - Kikkoman. That's a soy sauce. - Right, yeah. Low sodium. 852 01:06:25,106 --> 01:06:28,519 What I'm saying is you and I should be fighting these things. 853 01:06:28,610 --> 01:06:30,772 We should come up from under the ground. 854 01:06:30,820 --> 01:06:33,983 We'll have to bury ourselves first, but it'll be worth it. 855 01:06:34,073 --> 01:06:36,485 Cool breeze, no sunblock, worms. 856 01:06:36,576 --> 01:06:39,534 When we build our tripods, they'll have four legs. 857 01:06:39,621 --> 01:06:41,612 I gotta show you something. 858 01:06:43,875 --> 01:06:47,413 We'll tunnel up from behind and scare the piss out of them. 859 01:06:52,967 --> 01:06:55,129 Wish we had some shovels, don't you? 860 01:07:04,145 --> 01:07:05,886 Dad. 861 01:07:48,940 --> 01:07:50,556 No. No. 862 01:07:52,110 --> 01:07:54,522 Don't. Don't. 863 01:08:13,006 --> 01:08:15,122 Daddy! 864 01:08:15,216 --> 01:08:16,957 Rachel! 865 01:08:20,013 --> 01:08:21,094 Rachel! 866 01:08:21,639 --> 01:08:23,175 Rachel! 867 01:08:32,400 --> 01:08:35,518 What's the secret, Brenda? What am I missing? 868 01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:40,735 Please! More fake monsters? 869 01:09:07,268 --> 01:09:11,102 Help! Help! Help! Help! 870 01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:14,981 I promised I'd find you, didn't I? 871 01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:32,453 Where are we? What is this? 872 01:09:32,502 --> 01:09:35,460 Some kind of basket attached to the tripod. 873 01:09:35,797 --> 01:09:37,037 Jesus! 874 01:09:37,131 --> 01:09:39,122 I know. It's horrible. 875 01:09:39,217 --> 01:09:42,130 Why? What are the aliens gonna do to us? 876 01:09:42,261 --> 01:09:45,799 I don't know, but they're taking everyone. Young, old, rich, poor. 877 01:09:45,890 --> 01:09:46,925 Chine'!-. 878 01:09:57,819 --> 01:09:59,025 Daddy! 879 01:09:59,112 --> 01:10:01,274 - Rachel! - No! 880 01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:03,734 - Help! - Torn! 881 01:10:16,337 --> 01:10:19,500 - Am I dead? - You're not dead. 882 01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:31,762 - Brenda! - Cindy! 883 01:10:32,687 --> 01:10:35,349 Hey. Could be worse. 884 01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:40,358 Do you wanna switch? 885 01:10:40,445 --> 01:10:41,480 OK. 886 01:10:41,946 --> 01:10:44,358 Brenda, look! 887 01:10:44,490 --> 01:10:47,983 I don't believe it. The aliens killed a dinosaur! 888 01:10:52,248 --> 01:10:57,084 Hello, humans. Welcome to the inside of the command tripod. 889 01:10:57,170 --> 01:11:00,003 Where's Rachel? What have you done with my daughter? 890 01:11:00,089 --> 01:11:03,627 All in good time, Tom. But first, I want to play a game. 891 01:11:04,135 --> 01:11:07,503 The devices you wear will trigger in 60 seconds. 892 01:11:08,389 --> 01:11:11,472 The switch on the wall behind Cindy will disable them. 893 01:11:12,059 --> 01:11:15,552 But where is the key? I'll give you a hint, Cindy. 894 01:11:17,023 --> 01:11:18,730 Let the game begin. 895 01:11:20,735 --> 01:11:22,521 I don't get it. 896 01:11:22,570 --> 01:11:27,155 OK. Maybe this will help you "see." 897 01:11:34,081 --> 01:11:36,197 You want me to... 898 01:11:36,292 --> 01:11:37,782 cut something? 899 01:11:37,877 --> 01:11:40,619 That should be obvious, yes. 900 01:11:43,174 --> 01:11:44,664 No. 901 01:11:46,761 --> 01:11:49,879 No! The key is behind your eye, OK? 902 01:11:55,770 --> 01:11:58,432 Zoltar, get in here. This one's gonna do it. 903 01:12:03,236 --> 01:12:05,147 Fake eye. 904 01:12:05,238 --> 01:12:07,696 Bad bar fight, '96. 905 01:12:17,667 --> 01:12:20,250 I hope this doesn't come between us. 906 01:12:21,254 --> 01:12:23,245 Of course not. 907 01:12:29,011 --> 01:12:31,298 Is it too late for me to try this on? 908 01:12:31,389 --> 01:12:33,630 Silence. The game is not yet over. 909 01:12:36,143 --> 01:12:37,759 - Rachel! - Daddy! 910 01:12:37,854 --> 01:12:41,222 - Robbie. - Daddy! 911 01:12:44,569 --> 01:12:48,437 The only thing keeping your children alive, Tom, is you. 912 01:12:49,073 --> 01:12:51,064 Well, we had a good run. 913 01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:58,948 - You weren't expecting that, were you? - On the contrary, 914 01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:00,991 I was counting on it. 915 01:13:05,715 --> 01:13:08,833 I call it the Nutcracker. 916 01:13:09,176 --> 01:13:10,792 Why? 917 01:13:12,555 --> 01:13:13,590 Of course. 918 01:13:29,447 --> 01:13:31,688 Oh, my gosh. Of course. 919 01:13:31,824 --> 01:13:34,361 Follow the blood. Henry was his stepdad. 920 01:13:34,452 --> 01:13:36,568 You're the little boy's real father. 921 01:13:36,704 --> 01:13:38,536 Where did you even meet her? 922 01:13:38,623 --> 01:13:42,036 It was spring break in Cabo. So what? I blended in. 923 01:13:42,084 --> 01:13:43,870 Seriously, who gives a crap? 924 01:13:44,337 --> 01:13:45,873 What's this? 925 01:13:47,757 --> 01:13:50,089 Enjoy your purple nurple, Tom. 926 01:13:53,304 --> 01:13:55,045 Your son wouldn't want this. 927 01:13:55,139 --> 01:13:58,302 His soul walks the Earth because of the pain you're causing. 928 01:13:58,392 --> 01:14:00,633 No. I have crossed a galaxy for revenge. 929 01:14:00,728 --> 01:14:02,890 But it's my fault. Let the others go. 930 01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:06,189 Oh, I don't think 50. Look upon him as he writhes... 931 01:14:06,233 --> 01:14:09,066 Hey, Cindy! Look, I'm on TV, y'all! 932 01:14:09,111 --> 01:14:11,899 Check it out. I wanna give a shout out to all my peeps. 933 01:14:14,241 --> 01:14:15,948 Have you lost your mind? 934 01:14:16,035 --> 01:14:18,447 No one... pimp-slaps... Brenda. 935 01:14:19,497 --> 01:14:21,363 Zoltar, help. 936 01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:23,448 This is some bullshit. 937 01:14:24,251 --> 01:14:27,664 I know you hold a grudge against humanity for your son's death... 938 01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:30,087 A wet willy! 939 01:14:31,008 --> 01:14:33,249 Killing us won't bring your boy back. 940 01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:36,048 No, you will all pay for what you have done. 941 01:14:36,097 --> 01:14:38,509 Besides, I've already built this thing. 942 01:14:40,393 --> 01:14:43,636 When the trap closes on you, it will lock the chain in place. 943 01:14:43,771 --> 01:14:47,685 Your children will be saved, but you will suffer a terrible death. 944 01:14:47,775 --> 01:14:50,392 Can you hang on to the ones you love? 945 01:14:50,486 --> 01:14:52,648 You have 60 seconds. 946 01:14:54,198 --> 01:14:56,781 - No. - Don't worry, kids. 947 01:14:56,867 --> 01:14:58,858 I won't quit on you. 948 01:14:59,453 --> 01:15:04,038 It's OK to let go, Dad. All you ever had to do was show that you loved me. 949 01:15:05,251 --> 01:15:07,458 And show me what it means to be a man. 950 01:15:07,586 --> 01:15:09,918 And show me that I could love again. 951 01:15:11,298 --> 01:15:13,084 We forgive you, Dad. 952 01:15:24,228 --> 01:15:26,139 The spikes, they stopped! 953 01:15:29,608 --> 01:15:31,440 - Kids. - Daddy! 954 01:15:36,615 --> 01:15:39,528 Are you sparing our lives? 955 01:15:39,618 --> 01:15:43,987 Anyone can hold a grudge, but it takes real courage to forgive. 956 01:15:44,123 --> 01:15:45,579 He invasion is over. 957 01:15:46,959 --> 01:15:51,044 - And? - And I guess I'm sorry or something. 958 01:15:51,172 --> 01:15:53,709 Like you mean it. 959 01:15:53,841 --> 01:15:57,459 OK, I'm sorry for killing millions of people. Whatever. 960 01:15:58,387 --> 01:16:00,219 Wait! Where's Brenda? 961 01:16:03,726 --> 01:16:06,889 What? We're at peace now, I was just sealing the deal. 962 01:16:08,731 --> 01:16:10,722 Come on, Brenda, let's go. 963 01:16:11,692 --> 01:16:14,684 Bye, Zoltar! Don't lose my number! 964 01:16:17,364 --> 01:16:19,355 Tell me you didn't catch something. 965 01:16:19,450 --> 01:16:22,363 Nah, it's cool. She said she was a virgin. 966 01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:26,867 We are so fucked. 967 01:16:42,306 --> 01:16:44,263 Mommy! 968 01:16:49,063 --> 01:16:50,394 Thank you. 969 01:16:52,817 --> 01:16:54,558 Hey, look, kids, Grandpa. 970 01:16:56,403 --> 01:16:58,314 No, that's my new husband. 971 01:17:05,496 --> 01:17:07,487 I think it's romantic. 972 01:17:07,581 --> 01:17:09,788 The way love can find anyone. 973 01:17:13,462 --> 01:17:16,875 And so love triumphed in the end, 974 01:17:16,966 --> 01:17:19,207 and the invaders were destroyed. 975 01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:21,918 For this world, our world, 976 01:17:22,054 --> 01:17:24,216 is the world of Men. 977 01:17:24,265 --> 01:17:27,178 We have earned the right to live here. 978 01:17:27,268 --> 01:17:31,307 And as long as we love, humanity will prevail. 979 01:17:31,438 --> 01:17:35,397 Each of our enemies has failed in their quest to defeat us. 980 01:17:35,442 --> 01:17:39,982 Each has been undone by their own nefarious plans. 981 01:17:40,698 --> 01:17:44,066 Among all worlds, across all galaxies, 982 01:17:44,118 --> 01:17:47,452 we stand above, we stand alone. 983 01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:52,616 None can threaten our existence, none can challenge our spirit. 984 01:17:52,668 --> 01:17:57,913 And why? Of all the qualities that make us unique, 985 01:17:57,965 --> 01:18:00,673 it is love that is our greatest strength. 986 01:18:00,759 --> 01:18:02,966 And because of love, Mankind... 987 01:18:07,308 --> 01:18:10,596 Thank you. Hello and welcome to the show. 988 01:18:10,644 --> 01:18:14,137 We have got a very special man with some very special news. 989 01:18:14,190 --> 01:18:17,683 That's right, he's in the building. The man who saved the world. 990 01:18:17,776 --> 01:18:21,110 Put your hands together for Tom Ryan! 991 01:18:22,907 --> 01:18:24,147 Yes! 992 01:18:24,241 --> 01:18:25,731 My best friend. 993 01:18:41,508 --> 01:18:42,998 Wow. 994 01:18:43,052 --> 01:18:45,214 That's it? OK. 995 01:18:49,516 --> 01:18:52,850 - So you're in love. - I am. I'm in love. 996 01:18:59,109 --> 01:19:01,271 He's lost it. The boy's lost it. 997 01:19:09,578 --> 01:19:12,195 - You're adorable when you're in love. - Thanks. 998 01:19:12,248 --> 01:19:14,535 - Tell us all about her. - She's great. 999 01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:17,041 She's really terrific. So it's complicated. 1000 01:19:17,086 --> 01:19:19,248 You were saying she's complex, I guess. 1001 01:19:19,338 --> 01:19:20,669 Shut up. 1002 01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:33,307 You're insane. Tom Ryan is insane! 1003 01:19:33,394 --> 01:19:35,510 - I'm insane! - Are you happy? 1004 01:19:35,562 --> 01:19:37,553 I'm so happy. Hey, look. 1005 01:19:42,444 --> 01:19:44,481 Tom, OK, you got balls. 1006 01:19:49,118 --> 01:19:50,574 Yeah! 1007 01:19:50,661 --> 01:19:52,026 Shoe. 1008 01:19:58,002 --> 01:20:01,586 I love Cindy Campbell! And I can jump on things! 1009 01:20:08,220 --> 01:20:10,211 Yeah! Wowee! Wowee! 1010 01:20:20,858 --> 01:20:23,566 OK, Tom, isn't Cindy here? 1011 01:20:23,610 --> 01:20:26,398 I know she's here. I know you're in the building. 1012 01:20:26,447 --> 01:20:28,154 Cindy! Cindy! 1013 01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:30,823 Yeah, let's bring her out right now. 1014 01:20:30,909 --> 01:20:33,196 I love this woman! I love this woman! 1015 01:20:42,629 --> 01:20:43,960 Oh, God! 1016 01:20:46,133 --> 01:20:48,044 Oh, God!