1
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[theme music playing]

2
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[Carrie] <i>My friend Miranda was dating
Thomas John Anderson,</i>

3
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<i>an up-and-coming New York playwright.</i>

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-Oh, God.
-[Miranda moans]

5
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-Oh, God.
-[Miranda moans]

6
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-Oh, God.
-[Miranda moans]

7
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-Oh, God.
-[Miranda moans]

8
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That was wonderful.

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[Carrie] <i>Things were great
except for one thing...</i>

10
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I'll be right back.

11
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[Carrie] <i>Immediately after sex,</i>

12
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<i>he'd hop out of bed and shower.</i>

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[shower running]

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-Oh, God.
-[Miranda moans]

15
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-Oh, God. Oh, God!
-[Miranda moans]

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Oh, God!

17
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Wow!

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Be right back.

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[Carrie] <i>Night after night,
it was the same thing.</i>

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-Oh, God. Oh, God! Oh, God!
-[Miranda moans]

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-I'll be right...
-Yeah.

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[Carrie] <i>She decided to confront
Thomas John Anderson</i>

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<i>as soon as he dried off.</i>

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-So, what's with the showers?
-What do you mean?

25
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You always get up and shower
right after we're done.

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I'm starting to feel like it's me.

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Oh, no, no, no, it's not you.
It's just...

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-What?
-It's just a habit I have.

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Growing up, the nuns told us
that sex was a sin.

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So I just, you know, got into the habit
of taking a shower after I...

31
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you know, came.

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Oh, the nuns.

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[Carrie] <i>Miranda suddenly realized
she was dating "Catholic Guy."</i>

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So you thing the water serves
as a retro baptism kind of thing?

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Beats me. If I'd known he was Catholic,

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I never would've gone out
with him in the first place.

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They should make them wear a sign.

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[Carrie] <i>Single people in New York</i>

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<i>rarely ask about their dates'
religious backgrounds,</i>

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<i>for the same reason they don't ask
the number of former sex partners...</i>

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<i>-Too scary.</i>
-I mean, he's a rational,

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logical guy in every respect but this.

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Clean. You forgot clean.
He's a clean guy.

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Leave it to me to find the only
religious guy still left in Manhattan.

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[Carrie] <i>New York is a city
filled with places to worship.</i>

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<i>But it recently dawned on me,</i>

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<i>the only time I ever heard
anyone mention going into one,</i>

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<i>was for a singles mixer.</i>

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<i>Are relationships
the religion of the '90s?</i>

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[church bells ring]

51
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<i>Having been raised in the church
of "Be nice to people</i>

52
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<i>and don't talk with your mouth full",</i>

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<i>I decided to check out some more
traditional religious types</i>

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<i>in their natural habitat.</i>

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<i>As I watched people leaving church,
I was amazed at how they looked.</i>

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<i>Valentino, Escada, Oscar de la Renta.</i>

57
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<i>What is it about God and fashion
that go so well together?</i>

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<i>And suddenly, there he was,
wearing Armani on Sunday.</i>

59
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<i>Mr. Big.</i>

60
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<i>I admit it was kind of a shock.</i>

61
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<i>Up until that moment, I thought
he only believed in the Yankees.</i>

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-Well, hello there, churchgoer.
-[Mr. Big] Hey!

63
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-What are you doing here?
-Research.

64
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I'm doing a column
on closet Presbyterians. You know any?

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Actually, I'm an atheist,
but don't tell that to the minister.

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Who's the mystery woman?

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My mother.

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-I take her to church every Sunday.
-Really?

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I'm so loving that.
How come you never told me?

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Well, you write every Sunday, so...

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So every Sunday... church.

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Right.

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[both laugh]

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You know, I've got 20 minutes
before my racquetball game.

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-Why don't we have a cup of coffee?
-I can't. I'm on deadline

76
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and this cappuccino
just kicked in, so...

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So?

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Bye.

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God bless.

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<i>It was one of those awkward
relationship moments</i>

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<i>where you feel like you know
nothing about the person</i>

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<i>you thought you knew everything about.</i>

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He goes to church with his mother?

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-That can't be good.
-Don't listen to her.

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A man who cares about his mother
makes a wonderful husband.

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-I think it's sweet.
-Sure, all religions are sweet,

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until you get to that
shower-after-sex phase.

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-Oh, my God! Is he still doing that?
-It's amazing he has any skin left.

89
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Well, have you tried
taking a shower with him?

90
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No! I'm afraid he'll pull out
garlic and a cross.

91
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,768
So, which church does his mother go to?

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-Park Avenue Presbyterian.
-Good church!

93
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It's one of the best on the East Side.

94
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What, are you rating churches?
Is there a Zagat guide for that?

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Four stars, great bread,
disappointing wine selection.

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The thing is, I'm dying
to meet his mother.

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Can you imagine?

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Getting on the good side of his mother
is like closing the deal.

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-Hey, I'm sorry I'm late.
-Well, it's about time.

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I just had a five-hour lunch with James.

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Five-hour lunches. I remember those.

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Ladies, I have an announcement.

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-Please don't laugh.
-What?

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-I'm in love.
-What?

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[Carrie] <i>Samantha uttering
those words to us</i>

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<i>was an event as unfathomable
as Moses parting the Red Sea.</i>

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<i>It all started a couple of weeks ago,
on a particularly blah Wednesday night.</i>

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<i>Samantha decided to treat herself
to a night of great music.</i>

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I couldn't help but notice
how you move to the music.

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It's beautiful.

111
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Well, I love jazz.

112
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That's pretty clear.

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Are you a musician?

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Yeah.

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Trapped in the body of a lawyer.

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Well, we won't tell anyone.

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May I join you?

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Sure.

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[Carrie] <i>After they closed
the jazz joint,</i>

120
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<i>they walked and talked for blocks.</i>

121
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You have to at least
try one of the glazed.

122
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It's a little bit of heaven.

123
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Mmm.

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Heavenly. And I never thought
I'd get there.

125
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Why not? An angel like you?

126
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[Carrie] <i>And then Samantha did something
rather shocking for a first date...</i>

127
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She didn't ask him home.

128
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Thanks, James.

129
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I had a wonderful time.

130
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Can I see you again?

131
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I'd love that.

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[Carrie] <i>And with that one touch,</i>

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<i>Samantha, who was never
a believer in relationships,</i>

134
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<i>suddenly became a convert.</i>

135
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I mean, I'd totally given up on the idea
that you could actually talk to men.

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-Hey, don't spread that around.
-Before James,

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all my conversations
consisted of two sentences,

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"give it to me" and "go home."

139
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And I owe it all to Charlotte.

140
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Me? What did I do?

141
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All that bullshit you spout

142
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about not sleeping with men
right away actually paid off.

143
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I mean, if I'd fucked James already,
who knows where we'd be.

144
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Wait. You haven't had sex yet?

145
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Soon.

146
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,219
You know,

147
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I think he's someone
I could actually marry.

148
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Samantha, that's great.

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[Carrie] <i>The idea that Samantha could
possibly get married before she did,</i>

150
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<i>shook Charlotte's beliefs to the core.</i>

151
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<i>She took some drastic action.</i>

152
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<i>She made an appointment
to see Noanie Stine,</i>

153
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,823
<i>psychic to the stars
and a cosmic connection,</i>

154
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,909
<i>who lived in a brownstone between
Central Park West and Columbus.</i>

155
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,412
-Is this you and Madonna?
-Yeah.

156
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,831
We go to the same Cabala class.

157
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,417
Now...

158
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Pick three cards, face down
with your left hand.

159
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[Carrie] <i>Charlotte had heard about
Noanie through a sorority sister</i>

160
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<i>whose marriage she had
very accurately predicted.</i>

161
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Okay.

162
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Now, is there one question
in particular?

163
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Well, no.

164
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,354
Just...

165
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[laughs sheepishly] There is.

166
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,650
When will I get married?

167
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,239
"Ace of wands." Prosperity.

168
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,870
"Nine of cups."
Strength and independence.

169
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,416
"The Hanged Man." A new awakening.

170
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,128
You're a strong, independent woman

171
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,506
with great success in your future,
but I do not see marriage.

172
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:12,719
-Excuse me?
-I don't see it.

173
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,431
-What?
-I don't see marriage.

174
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:21,019
Well, how can you just...
say that like that?

175
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:25,315
I mean, what about my feelings?

176
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:28,693
Honey, I'm a psychic. I'm not a shrink.

177
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,571
So, who is this fabulous
mother in the hat

178
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,823
and when do I get to go to church
with you two?

179
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,118
You want to go to church?

180
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,871
You say that like
I'm the antichrist or something.

181
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,164
No.

182
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,501
It's just I never thought of you
as the church type.

183
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,337
Oh, really? What type am I?

184
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:51,341
The incredibly beautiful
and intelligent type.

185
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,550
[laughs]

186
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,552
What religion are you?

187
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,056
I'm no one religion in particular.
I'm open to all.

188
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,226
-Kind of like a 7-Eleven?
-Come on.

189
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,520
I want to go to church
with you and your mommy.

190
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,313
How about this Sunday?

191
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:11,277
Well, it's just a private little thing
my mother and I do, just the two of us.

192
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,955
You want to go
to the Caribbean next week.

193
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,332
Sure. I'll go pack my jet ski.

194
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:27,252
No, I'm serious.
We could both use a vacation.

195
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:31,506
Come on. The sun, the sand, you and me.
You waiting on me.

196
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,425
-Can you get away?
-Yeah, but I can't afford it.

197
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,761
I'll tell you what.
I'll buy the tickets.

198
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:40,765
When we get to St. Barts,
you can buy me one big margarita.

199
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,061
-Oh, God!
-[Miranda moaning]

200
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:48,898
Oh, God! Oh, God!

201
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,657
Wait. I want to hold you.

202
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,327
-I'll be right back.
-Stay here a second.

203
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,916
Isn't this nice? Us together?

204
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,585
[Thomas] Yeah.

205
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,337
Look. I'm just gonna go
jump in the shower,

206
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,590
and then, boom, I'm all yours.

207
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,509
There's nothing sinful about sex.

208
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,137
Oh...

209
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,847
Oh, really?

210
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:24,058
Well, thanks for clearing that up.

211
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,811
And what is that?
The gospel according to Miranda?

212
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,522
What are you gonna tell me next
that God made the body,

213
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,817
and if God made the body and sex
is an expression of that body,

214
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:36,654
how could anything made by that
God-made body be considered sin?

215
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:38,198
Well, yeah.

216
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:41,868
[laughs sarcastically] It's a miracle!
I'm healed!

217
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,870
You're free to go work
with the lepers now.

218
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,830
I guess this means
I'm not going to hell.

219
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,875
[yells] Great news! Thank you, Miranda.

220
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,502
Thank you for saving my immortal soul.

221
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,671
[Carrie] <i>In her effort to help,</i>

222
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:57,800
<i>Miranda had accidentally detonated
some kind of Catholic guilt bomb.</i>

223
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:00,720
I'm gonna go take a shower.

224
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:04,140
When I come out, I'd kind
of like it if you weren't here.

225
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,226
You got it.

226
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,062
[Carrie] <i>Six months later,
that exact same speech</i>

227
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,522
<i>would find its way into
Thomas John Anderson's</i>

228
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:14,442
<i>hit Off-Broadway play</i> Shower of Shame.

229
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:21,449
<i>Meanwhile, downtown,
Samantha was preparing to see God.</i>

230
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,079
I know it's only been a couple of weeks,

231
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:28,873
but I love you, Samantha.

232
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,917
I love you, too.

233
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,420
[moaning]

234
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:41,386
Oh, honey, I can't wait any longer.

235
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,972
Just unzip and get over here.

236
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,937
[slow music playing]

237
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,818
[moaning]

238
00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:00,238
Okay, I'm ready. Put it in.

239
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,282
It is in.

240
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,411
[Carrie] <i>Samantha said a little prayer
that he was kidding.</i>

241
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,621
<i>He wasn't.</i>

242
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,873
[church bells ring]

243
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:15,420
<i>Sunday morning. A time for rest.
A time for relaxation.</i>

244
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,171
<i>A time for spying.</i>

245
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,549
<i>The plan was simple.</i>

246
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,883
<i>Just get a look at the mother,</i>

247
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,885
<i>then Miranda and I would go for eggs.</i>

248
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,805
Look at how crowded it is. What a sham.

249
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:28,016
Will you lighten up?
It's a Presbyterian church,

250
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:29,100
not a Catholic one.

251
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:33,062
Whatever. Catholics, Episcopalian,
Buddhists, Shakers, Quakers.

252
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,773
All the same, all designed
to fuck up our sex lives.

253
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:36,733
Here, pray.

254
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:39,902
Oh, there they are.

255
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,654
-Where?
-Right there.

256
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:45,408
[Carrie] <i>As I watched Mr. Big standing
quietly next to his mother,</i>

257
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,619
<i>tall, proud, respectful...</i>

258
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,622
<i>I think I fell a little bit
more in love with him.</i>

259
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,999
Let us pray.

260
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,794
-[minister] We come together...
-We're out of here.

261
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,256
[screams]

262
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:01,841
[thumps]

263
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,727
Here they come.
Let's make a break for it.

264
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,479
No, they saw me. I have to say hello.

265
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:15,980
I can't just pray and run.

266
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:17,899
Oh, there they are.

267
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,985
Okay, go. I'm fine. Go.

268
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,575
Aren't you the young lady
who made all that noise?

269
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,369
[chuckles] Slippery gloves.

270
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,621
-'Morning.
-Good morning.

271
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,040
-It's a lovely church.
-Yes, isn't it?

272
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:38,419
-Don't you think it's lovely?
-Mother, this is my friend Carrie.

273
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:42,215
[Carrie] <i>I searched her face
looking for the light of recognition.</i>

274
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,301
<i>But there was nothing.</i>

275
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,761
Carrie-Carrie.

276
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,055
I'm just gonna go and say good-bye
to the pastor.

277
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,015
-It was lovely meeting you.
-[mumbles]

278
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,103
"My friend Carrie"?

279
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,480
You show up at church
after I asked you not to.

280
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,065
What are you trying to do? Test me?

281
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,734
I mean, why all of a sudden interest
in meeting my mother?

282
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,569
Well, has the woman
ever even heard of me?

283
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,905
My mother doesn't need to meet
another girlfriend.

284
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:07,990
Oh.

285
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,076
I didn't mean that...

286
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:13,746
I mean...

287
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:16,332
I'll introduce you
as my girlfriend when I'm sure.

288
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,750
Oh.

289
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:22,422
Look, I have to do things
on my time frame.

290
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:23,965
"Time frame"?

291
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,259
We've been going out for months.

292
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,557
I really don't know
what else to say to you.

293
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,018
We'll get there.
You just have to have a little faith.

294
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:39,689
-"Faith"?
-Yeah. Look.

295
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,107
In a couple of days
we're going on vacation.

296
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,442
We have plenty of time to talk this out.

297
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:44,235
Right now, I've got
to get my mother home. Okay?

298
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:45,903
Well, go.

299
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,198
Just go.

300
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,133
[Miranda] Move over.

301
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,015
I didn't leave.

302
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,434
You didn't seem fine.

303
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,770
He introduced me to his mother
as a friend.

304
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,316
She never heard of me.

305
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,777
That isn't a good sign.

306
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:32,033
-Maybe they're not that close.
-Come on, don't lie. You're in a church.

307
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:38,998
I can't get inside.

308
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,419
I don't know what else I can do.

309
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,255
[electronic music playing]

310
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:48,466
[Carrie] <i>Later that night
in the Church of Disco,</i>

311
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:51,010
<i>Stanford invited everyone he knew</i>

312
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,513
<i>to a party to introduce a new fragrance,</i>

313
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:54,972
<i>Fallen Angel.</i>

314
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,727
Hi, Carrie! Hi, Carrie!

315
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,564
[Carrie] <i>Also, he wanted to show off
his new boyfriend, Allanne.</i>

316
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,150
Hi!

317
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,153
Isn't this fun? It's like hell
with a cover charge.

318
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:12,907
Carrie, this is Allanne.
Allanne, Carrie.

319
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,493
-[Carrie] Hi. Nice to meet you finally.
-You too.

320
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,996
Did I tell you that Allanne
designed the Fallen Angel bottle?

321
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,749
Yes. Congratulations.

322
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,752
Thank you. Excuse me for a second.

323
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:27,046
I just saw someone
I want to say hello to.

324
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:33,886
So you know what we did today?

325
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:39,308
We shopped for Deco
cabinet handles for his armoire.

326
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,144
I turned into one of those
couples we hate and I'm loving it!

327
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,731
[Carrie] <i>Stanford and Allanne
worshiped the same God...</i>

328
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:46,983
<i>style.</i>

329
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,653
So, you all excited
for the big <i>vacación?</i>

330
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,030
I don't know. I can't help feeling

331
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:56,784
like it's some sort of consolation prize
for not letting me in his life.

332
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,328
What is going on with you two?

333
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:02,540
-We're not in the greatest place.
-What happened?

334
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,585
He wouldn't introduce me to his mother.

335
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,461
Ouch.

336
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:08,879
[laughs]

337
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,132
Thanks.

338
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,552
Skipper. Hi.

339
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,055
[Carrie] <i>It seems Stanford had invited
everyone in his Rolodex.</i>

340
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,474
I was hoping I'd see you here.

341
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,977
I've been totally thinking
about you since we broke up.

342
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,396
-You have?
-Totally.

343
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,441
You look great.

344
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,861
Thanks. So do you.

345
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:34,280
[Carrie] <i>Miranda looked at Skipper.</i>

346
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,907
<i>The months apart had shed
a new light on him.</i>

347
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,995
<i>Actually, they'd shed a new light
on his shower-free feelings about sex.</i>

348
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:45,249
<i>Later that night, the three of us
tracked Samantha to the ladies' room</i>

349
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,585
<i>to get the lowdown
on her love life with James.</i>

350
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,587
Here you are. We've been
looking for you everywhere.

351
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:52,757
So, how is everything?

352
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,468
She means have you and James
done it yet?

353
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,136
Mm-hmm.

354
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,137
And?

355
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:02,933
-It's nice.
-I'm so happy for you.

356
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:05,353
[sniffles]

357
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,689
Sweetie, what is it?

358
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,524
Nothing.

359
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,490
-[crying]
-Hey, what's going on?

360
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:18,824
Why are you crying?

361
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,202
James has a small dick.

362
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,370
Oh...

363
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:25,665
-Well, it's not the end of the world.
-It's really small.

364
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,041
-How small?
-Too small.

365
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:29,502
-Well, size isn't everything.
-Three inches?

366
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,712
-Well...
-Hard?

367
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:36,342
-Is he a good kisser?
-Who the fuck cares?

368
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,094
His dick is like a gherkin!

369
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,431
[sobbing] I feel so terrible.
Listen to me. I'm a bad person.

370
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,851
Don't beat yourself up. You had certain
expectations and you're disappointed.

371
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,978
Why? Why?

372
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:50,314
Why does he have to have a small dick?

373
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:53,901
-I really like him.
-I thought you loved him.

374
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,319
Well...

375
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:58,239
-Oh, look, we've all been there.
-That's for sure.

376
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:02,076
I was once with a guy the size of one
of those little miniature golf pencils.

377
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,620
Couldn't tell if he was
trying to fuck me or erase me.

378
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,331
-[laughs]
-[crying]

379
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,292
I'm sorry. It's just... It's funny.

380
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:12,211
Let's not lose perspective.

381
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,715
-There are ways to work around this.
-I don't want to work around it.

382
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:19,009
I love a big dick.
I love it inside of me.

383
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,679
I love looking at it.
I love everything about it.

384
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,015
When I blow him, it's like...

385
00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:27,560
nothing.

386
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:29,311
Nothing.

387
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:32,189
-Can you talk to him about it?
-No.

388
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,526
It's the only thing we can't talk about.

389
00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:42,616
-What am I gonna do?
-How is he with his tongue?

390
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:47,663
[Carrie] <i>Charlotte left us all behind,</i>

391
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,707
<i>telling us she had
another party to go to.</i>

392
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:55,546
<i>She took a cab to a part of town
never mentioned in the New Yorker.</i>

393
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,965
Will I ever get married?

394
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:04,013
[interpreter] I call the power
of all the saints.

395
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:05,931
Saint Lazarus.

396
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,518
Saint Rosa. Send me your guidance.

397
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:10,770
[speaking foreign language]

398
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,396
Send me the truth.

399
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:16,901
Send me an answer.

400
00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:29,622
No yolk.

401
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:31,248
What does that mean?

402
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:32,458
[speaking foreign language]

403
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:34,543
You'll never be married.

404
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,047
You are cursed.

405
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:43,636
But do not worry.
For $100 dollars, we can remove it.

406
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:46,806
[scoffing]

407
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:50,976
[Carrie] <i>The entire way home,</i>

408
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,604
<i>Charlotte berated herself
for being so foolish.</i>

409
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:56,106
<i>She simply refused
to give in to the idea</i>

410
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:57,566
<i>that she would never get married.</i>

411
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,151
[both] Sorry.

412
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:02,321
[Carrie] <i>All she had to do was keep
believing, and it would happen.</i>

413
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,449
[electronic music playing]

414
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:08,285
<i>It was 3:00 am in the Church of Disco,</i>

415
00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:11,330
<i>and Miranda couldn't believe
what she was about to say.</i>

416
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:15,125
-You want to spend the night?
-The night? The whole night?

417
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:16,126
[giggles]

418
00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:18,546
Yeah, the whole night.

419
00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:25,177
-I knew we'd get back together.
-You did?

420
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:27,429
Yep.

421
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:30,224
Every night I'd light a candle
and say a little prayer.

422
00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:32,935
You're a freak.

423
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,647
[Carrie] <i>Samantha tried desperately</i>

424
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:39,024
<i>to believe that love
was stronger than sex.</i>

425
00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:40,276
[Samantha sobs]

426
00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:42,027
Why are you crying?

427
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,281
I'm just so happy.

428
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,244
[crying]

429
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,915
[Carrie] <i>I stayed up all night
questioning my faith in faith.</i>

430
00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:57,835
<i>I mean, hadn't I had faith
in us all along?</i>

431
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,795
[doorbell buzzes]

432
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,384
<i>Faith that all the withholding
would stop.</i>

433
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,930
<i>Faith that he'd say, "I love you."</i>

434
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:11,515
Let's go!

435
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:14,059
Hey, hurry. We're gonna miss the plane.

436
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:17,438
Wait, wait. Put them down a second.

437
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:19,773
Just put them down.

438
00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:23,193
Okay.

439
00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:26,071
What?

440
00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,158
I need a sign.

441
00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:33,495
I mean, you told me
to have faith, but, see...

442
00:23:34,455 --> 00:23:36,332
I'm kind of losing mine, so...

443
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:39,877
I need a sign.

444
00:23:40,377 --> 00:23:42,379
What, like in those
old religious movies?

445
00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:43,881
You want a voice from above?

446
00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:46,508
Just tell me I'm the one.

447
00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:52,348
You don't have to tell your mother
or the whole world, just...

448
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:56,518
Just tell me.

449
00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:14,078
I can't do this.

450
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:16,997
Carrie.

451
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,123
Carrie.

452
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:20,292
Carrie.

453
00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:23,462
Just get in the car. Please.

454
00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:25,881
I can't.

455
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,551
I love you, but I can't.

456
00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:36,892
So that's it?

457
00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:46,777
["No Regrets" playing]

458
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:53,033
<i>No regrets</i>

459
00:24:55,369 --> 00:25:01,500
<i>Although our love affair has gone astray</i>

460
00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:05,337
<i>No regrets</i>

461
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,133
[Carrie] <i>After he left,
I cried for a week.</i>

462
00:25:11,468 --> 00:25:13,679
<i>And then I realized I do have faith.</i>

463
00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:15,889
<i>Faith in myself.</i>

464
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,685
<i>Faith that I would one day meet someone</i>

465
00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:23,147
<i>who would be sure that I was the one.</i>

466
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:24,356
[Song continues playing]

467
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,986
<i>Still in my heart you'll be</i>

468
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:34,742
<i>Forever mine</i>

469
00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:38,620
<i>No regrets</i>

470
00:25:39,705 --> 00:25:44,209
[theme music playing]