1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,090
‎NETFLIX 原創影集

2
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,633
‎這學得會

3
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,974
‎拿肛塞…塞進大腦的…屁眼裡

4
00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:17,809
‎我領悟了

5
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,979
‎（編輯）

6
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:22,605
‎肛塞

7
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:24,899
‎肛塞

8
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,152
‎肛塞

9
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:28,820
‎我領悟了

10
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,113
‎大腦的屁眼裡

11
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,906
‎肛塞

12
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,534
‎肛塞

13
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:35,618
‎我不需要光

14
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,287
‎或植物

15
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,248
‎對吧，寶貝兒？

16
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:41,583
‎上床？不要

17
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,918
‎克蘭西，我找到一個你會喜歡的星球

18
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:44,919
‎秀出來看看

19
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,255
‎諾瓦八號

20
00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,716
‎這星球有葡萄酒河與麥司卡林水果

21
00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:51,384
‎訪問那隻鸚鵡會很精彩

22
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,762
‎抱歉，你可能沒聽到那首歌…

23
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,138
‎-肛塞
‎-我領悟了

24
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,264
‎我領悟了

25
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,850
‎我領悟了

26
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,602
‎那麼蘭索笛朵爾呢？

27
00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:03,354
‎滑水道公園與彈跳床星球…

28
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,272
‎我領悟了！

29
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,776
‎-好吧，那空白球星球如何？
‎-太好了

30
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,236
‎領悟之人
‎我替你做了一些無聊的化身

31
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:11,529
‎謝謝

32
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,074
‎喜歡嗎？

33
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,825
‎（化身選擇）

34
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,285
‎喜…

35
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:21,331
‎我做了一個跟你長得一樣的
‎不過是奶油做的

36
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,248
‎酷吧？

37
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,834
‎很酷

38
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,754
‎送我去空白球星球！

39
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:28,838
‎如你所願

40
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,716
‎與模擬器結合，倒數…
‎你在嚼口香糖嗎？

41
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:34,928
‎謝謝，主人

42
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,596
‎-愛你喔
‎-二

43
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:38,223
‎一

44
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:49,442
‎真的只是很大的一個空白球

45
00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:00,829
‎天哪，去他的，來點顏色瞧瞧！

46
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:07,961
‎你好

47
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,851
‎老兄，你有水管嗎？

48
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:23,768
‎我都擦傷了

49
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:26,896
‎你不會講話？

50
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,357
‎好，沒關係

51
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,025
‎裡面一定有

52
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,987
‎要想一下我放在哪

53
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,837
‎哇

54
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:53,840
‎哎呀

55
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,592
‎好多東西

56
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,096
‎寶貝，你好嗎？

57
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:02,974
‎誰在那裡？

58
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,105
‎一定要來問問

59
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:12,108
‎太神秘了

60
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,445
‎太空播客的最佳題材

61
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,823
‎我是死神

62
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,909
‎幸會，我叫克蘭西

63
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,078
‎抱歉，我喉嚨有東西

64
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:28,166
‎（《午夜福音》
‎特別來賓：凱特琳道堤）

65
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:31,169
‎要上我的太空播客嗎？超好玩的

66
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,295
‎會在太空播出

67
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,671
‎好吧

68
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:36,591
‎但你要先描述我的身形

69
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,968
‎我才能現身

70
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,261
‎-啥？
‎-形容我

71
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,388
‎你覺得死神長什麼樣子？

72
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,099
‎好，425公分高，一頭秀髮

73
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:48,269
‎有顆怪眼睛，有蟹爪
‎戴一隻鑲珠寶的手套，有蝙蝠翅膀

74
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,522
‎一條小丑腿
‎全都在小孩的紅色拉車上

75
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,817
‎-拉車也是我的一部分？
‎-對

76
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,654
‎屁股是犀牛的後半部，加上食物力場

77
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,448
‎犀牛的腿永遠踏在大便上

78
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,788
‎應該要簡化一下

79
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:07,914
‎好

80
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:11,251
‎去掉中間
‎還有拿手把當手的噁心男孩

81
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,502
‎我沒說要這個

82
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,050
‎把蟹爪變回來，但要小一點

83
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,302
‎現在能在地上推著走了

84
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,762
‎這不太實用

85
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:24,389
‎那加個噴氣背包呢？

86
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:28,685
‎我不像恐怖的死神了，我看起來…

87
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,771
‎不然就當個普通的死神

88
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,564
‎但保留那顆怪眼珠

89
00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:35,733
‎看起來很酷

90
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,694
‎可以開始訪問了嗎？

91
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:38,653
‎好

92
00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,238
‎我要開始錄音

93
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,489
‎那是我的水管！

94
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:50,331
‎幹！那個草包拿走了我的水管

95
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,293
‎能邊走邊講嗎？我要拿回那條水管

96
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,044
‎-我的滑水道要用的
‎-好

97
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:56,713
‎妳是死神

98
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,132
‎親友被妳帶走真讓人痛苦

99
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:00,049
‎是的

100
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,968
‎對於面臨死亡的人

101
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,845
‎妳有什麼建議嗎？

102
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:10,143
‎有，這輩子你能為自己做的
‎最棒的一件事

103
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:13,688
‎就是全然面對那些時刻

104
00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:16,316
‎百分之百參與，坐在屍體旁邊

105
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:19,235
‎或坐在胎盤旁邊

106
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,488
‎還有剛出生，哭哭啼啼
‎全身都是黏液的寶寶

107
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:23,740
‎對

108
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:29,287
‎這些原始的現實狀況
‎是我們日常生活不會碰到的

109
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:35,543
‎他們故意不讓我們接觸到那些時刻

110
00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:36,669
‎透過複雜的系統

111
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,755
‎是什麼系統？

112
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:43,343
‎這真的像是無人談論的陰謀

113
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:47,180
‎我超愛這個陰謀，這種死亡工業中心

114
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:48,181
‎那是什麼？

115
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:49,682
‎可以聊聊嗎？

116
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:53,936
‎我可以告訴你我對死亡的理論

117
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,356
‎不知道算不算理論，我覺得是事實

118
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,066
‎-我就當事實來說
‎-好

119
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:02,945
‎這大約發生在20世紀之交

120
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:03,863
‎你有…

121
00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,073
‎要記住…

122
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,116
‎這主要…

123
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,828
‎這種情況主要是美國的習俗

124
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,664
‎-是美國習俗
‎-對

125
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,876
‎世上很多地方某種程度也有這種情況

126
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,754
‎但美國算是主要的地方

127
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:23,132
‎算是掩飾死亡的黑手黨老大

128
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,051
‎抱歉，不是故意要打斷妳

129
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,470
‎這些鬼鏡子是什麼東西？

130
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:28,471
‎好

131
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,473
‎這是場對批評的審判

132
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:33,893
‎這些鏡子反映出
‎你對自己感到羞愧的地方

133
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:38,106
‎你想對自己隱藏的部分
‎你要原諒它們

134
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,817
‎-原諒它們？
‎-對，這能打破僵局

135
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:48,032
‎美國內戰期間，防腐處理開始興盛

136
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,368
‎也就是對屍體塗抹化學藥劑

137
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:54,789
‎讓屍體保持完整
‎稍微延後腐爛的時間

138
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,751
‎是因為那些人死在異鄉，他們想…

139
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,002
‎沒錯

140
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:04,257
‎當時的北方士兵南下打仗

141
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,758
‎死在戰場上

142
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,511
‎當時新教徒的觀念是

143
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,013
‎人死後一定要見到屍體

144
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:16,227
‎列車長在火車上
‎收了一大堆腐爛的屍體

145
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:19,439
‎他們說：“不行，通通拿下去
‎不能再這樣了

146
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,442
‎不能把腐屍堆在我的火車上”

147
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:26,028
‎天哪，薩克斯風手

148
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,280
‎那是審判

149
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,907
‎我剛在想，真希望這裡有薩克斯風手

150
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:34,579
‎當時有積極的年輕人
‎專為屍體做防腐處理

151
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:38,541
‎他們會跟隨戰事，到各個戰場

152
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,084
‎像靠交通事故賺錢的律師

153
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,711
‎-哇
‎-他們去到戰場

154
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:42,628
‎搭起帳篷

155
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,631
‎他們會對戰場上遭遺棄的屍體

156
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,176
‎進行防腐處理，然後撐起來

157
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,761
‎當成廣告那樣展示

158
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,306
‎像櫥窗廣告那樣，展示他們的技術

159
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,099
‎-哇
‎-當時，你會付錢

160
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:58,102
‎請他們取出屍體的內臟

161
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:02,523
‎在體內放砷來保存屍體

162
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,733
‎砷是防腐劑？

163
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,026
‎對，那是防腐劑

164
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:07,236
‎現在不用了，因為很可怕，但…

165
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,406
‎現在用甲醛，但當時是用砷

166
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,998
‎那是我的水管，我需要它

167
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:20,374
‎少幼稚了

168
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,251
‎所以那是危險的工作

169
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,587
‎他們會把屍體送回北方

170
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:27,715
‎在運送過程中就能保存屍體

171
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:30,301
‎在當時是個有意思的創新

172
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:31,969
‎等等，不好意思

173
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,931
‎這裡面有太多事情，而且…

174
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:39,018
‎-這是開場而已，都還沒開始解釋呢
‎-拿來！

175
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:42,438
‎你會因為踩到乒乓球而死

176
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,070
‎所以你會…

177
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:51,822
‎-叔叔會讓火車載回來…
‎-對

178
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,491
‎…體內都是砷？

179
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:57,787
‎其實是鋸屑，當時的防腐…

180
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,498
‎他們會把你的內臟取出來

181
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:03,167
‎屍體就是從那裡腐爛的

182
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,753
‎身體中段黏黏的地方

183
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,588
‎他們會取出所有內臟

184
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,883
‎用鋸屑或其他東西塞滿，讓你…

185
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,386
‎把肚子撐起來

186
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:17,765
‎然後用某種防腐劑填滿你的身體

187
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,642
‎和循環系統

188
00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:35,533
‎這在當時算是合乎情理的創舉

189
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,702
‎他們希望死去的兒子回來

190
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:40,705
‎因為這樣的處理
‎他們就能看到兒子完整的屍體

191
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:41,914
‎-對
‎-但後來

192
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:45,751
‎戰爭結束了，但那些為屍體防腐的人

193
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:49,964
‎開始把這項工作當成事業
‎他們要說服全國的人

194
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,799
‎往後都要替屍體防腐

195
00:09:51,882 --> 00:09:53,259
‎哇

196
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,512
‎這些人開始在全國遊走

197
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,513
‎販賣商品

198
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,849
‎起初有點像安麗的直銷員

199
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:03,477
‎到各個城鎮
‎舉辦為期三天的防腐課程

200
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,731
‎叫大家來學習替屍體防腐

201
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:10,901
‎這樣合理吧？

202
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:11,819
‎我喜歡這傢伙

203
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,990
‎真正的竅門，真正說服大家的是

204
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,575
‎邁入20世紀的時候

205
00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:22,747
‎他們開始鼓吹一種想法
‎以現在來看，那種科學實在很糟糕

206
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:25,541
‎老實說，當時看起來就很糟了

207
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:29,170
‎就是屍體對人類有害

208
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:30,254
‎我也那樣想

209
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:36,135
‎除非那個人死於感染伊波拉、禽流感

210
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:40,723
‎或是那種非常罕見的恐怖傳染病…

211
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,183
‎-瘟疫
‎-那種情況

212
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:45,770
‎疾病管制與預防中心
‎會馬上把屍體帶去火化

213
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:48,397
‎-屍體不會去普通的殯儀館
‎-那樣能省錢

214
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,983
‎對，“你爸生前感染伊波拉病毒嗎？

215
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:54,403
‎真慘，但好消息是，政府會來處理”

216
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,656
‎除非是那樣

217
00:10:56,739 --> 00:11:00,242
‎你的身體在死後幾乎會立刻…

218
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,160
‎我幫你

219
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:03,162
‎…變得更安全

220
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:07,500
‎因為不僅病毒和細菌很快就會死掉…

221
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,669
‎它們不會在體內存活太久

222
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:14,840
‎而且病人或病危的人會傳染，是透過

223
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,468
‎咳嗽、打噴嚏、排便、流血

224
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:20,221
‎透過這些方式才能傳染給他人

225
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,848
‎-死後就不會做這些事了
‎-沒錯

226
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:27,937
‎這是好事，讓人沒有安全的疑慮

227
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,606
‎-哇
‎-但如果你能…

228
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,151
‎讓你爸住在安養院，幫他洗澡、換衣

229
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,611
‎做這些事情

230
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,614
‎你就知道他非常安全

231
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,951
‎-對
‎-他死後也是一樣

232
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,955
‎-沒有改變
‎-沒有改變，也許還更安全

233
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:49,458
‎所以…天哪，這好恐怖

234
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,252
‎記住，人類就是這樣

235
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,671
‎用這種方法來處理死亡

236
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,382
‎幾千萬年來都是這樣

237
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:57,633
‎這是正常的作法

238
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:01,345
‎老實說，是過去100、120年來

239
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:04,640
‎這些替屍體防腐的人

240
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,183
‎就是剛才提到的那些人

241
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:11,272
‎才開始有辦法說服大家相信
‎將屍體以防腐保存

242
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,774
‎-是為家人的健康著想
‎-媽呀

243
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:19,822
‎替屍體消毒
‎讓家人能安全地瞻仰遺容

244
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:23,159
‎-對
‎-以前大部分是女人

245
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,911
‎在家清洗屍體

246
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,038
‎看守屍體，將屍體擺好

247
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:32,126
‎突然間，有一些外人進來

248
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:36,589
‎他們是不同的專業人士
‎告訴大家：“這樣不安全

249
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,674
‎我們得把屍體送走

250
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,885
‎進行防腐處理

251
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:41,886
‎向你收錢”

252
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:44,472
‎天哪，妳說看守屍體…

253
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,349
‎就是守靈，把屍體擺放好

254
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:51,103
‎讓家人過來瞻仰遺容

255
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:55,232
‎到了20世紀初，這件事開始

256
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,276
‎突然朝向…

257
00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,570
‎商業經營的模式演變

258
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:02,656
‎糟糕

259
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:07,953
‎剛才講到哪？

260
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:08,996
‎對了

261
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:11,373
‎資本主義模式的死亡…

262
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:17,379
‎你要將屍體送去殯儀館

263
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,965
‎把血抽乾，注入化學藥劑

264
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,258
‎哇

265
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:25,554
‎幫屍體化妝、穿西裝
‎再把你爸賣回去給你

266
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,181
‎哇

267
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:32,478
‎他們不能讓人知道…

268
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:37,858
‎我主要是提倡一種家庭葬禮的觀念

269
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,151
‎這並不複雜

270
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:43,781
‎是讓你更主動處理死亡這件事

271
00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:47,117
‎你要去哪裡嗎？我能跟你去嗎？

272
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,285
‎當然可以

273
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,203
‎好啊

274
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,580
‎我喜歡這種事

275
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:55,042
‎假設你父親在家接受療養，而後死亡

276
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,837
‎你不必立刻聯絡誰，這不是緊急事件

277
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,339
‎他不會馬上腐爛

278
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,091
‎他沒有危險，等一下

279
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,133
‎我需要水管

280
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,469
‎他已經死了，兩小時後也是一樣

281
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,138
‎-我的滑水道要用
‎-沒事的，不用著急

282
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:11,225
‎只要你覺得舒服

283
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,769
‎面對那個原始的現實，如先前說的

284
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:14,979
‎面對那個當下

285
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:17,481
‎-哇
‎-感受那個感覺

286
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:21,110
‎等準備好之後再聯絡殯儀館

287
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,112
‎對我來說有點太遲了

288
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,906
‎我父母都已經往生了

289
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:31,996
‎快點！

290
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,623
‎水管小偷，給我回來！

291
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,251
‎兩次…雙親…

292
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,212
‎我雙親過世的時候…

293
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:42,172
‎非常…

294
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,465
‎不像這樣

295
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:45,759
‎沒人坐…

296
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,262
‎很有意思，沒人跟我們坐下來說…

297
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,221
‎進來

298
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,515
‎“屍體沒有疾病”

299
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:55,060
‎不會有人告訴你們那件事，不可能

300
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:01,942
‎“你可以跟屍體…

301
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,778
‎你應該跟她或他待在一起一段時間

302
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,363
‎跟他坐在一起，沒關係”

303
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:07,907
‎沒人這樣說

304
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:14,121
‎也不是說人有多想要

305
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,748
‎跟屍體待在一起

306
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,334
‎這很複雜

307
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:22,296
‎我一直在思考、商議這個問題

308
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,214
‎因為會這麼做的人

309
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:28,469
‎有點想這麼做，但不是很確定的人

310
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,512
‎得知他們可以那樣做

311
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:34,892
‎最後都會體驗到那種神奇
‎煥然一新的感覺

312
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,977
‎就像巧克力跟小狗

313
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,979
‎你會得到那種回應

314
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,773
‎-對
‎-他們很喜歡

315
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,570
‎很多人都會…

316
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:48,781
‎碰到一件事

317
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:51,533
‎等到…

318
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:55,162
‎垂死的人準備好要談這件事

319
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,665
‎他們的心智已經在瓦解了

320
00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:00,167
‎-對
‎-所以他們沒辦法講

321
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:04,129
‎他們沒辦法說出自己想要什麼

322
00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:06,757
‎大腦馬上就沒用了

323
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,759
‎你的大腦已經離開了

324
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:11,220
‎你徘徊在過去跟現在之間

325
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,680
‎你回到過去…

326
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:16,308
‎跟20年前死去的丈夫講話

327
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,561
‎對，這跟電影演的完全不一樣

328
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:23,440
‎在電影裡，一個人躺在那裡
‎突然說：“我要死了！”

329
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,985
‎然後就死了，氣色很好

330
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:27,945
‎好像剛去護膚

331
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:31,115
‎然後說：“好，晚點見！”

332
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,241
‎他往那邊看…

333
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,618
‎“抱歉，我不能去舞會了”

334
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:38,163
‎“我先走了”，連掙扎都沒有…

335
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,374
‎就這樣…

336
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,167
‎然後就走了

337
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,752
‎太誇張了

338
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:49,591
‎大家看到這樣，就會開始覺得

339
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,177
‎“我要開始安排這件事…

340
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,763
‎等我開始生病，就開始計畫

341
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,349
‎根據死亡的統計概率來看

342
00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:00,269
‎我還有點時間能安排這件事”

343
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,562
‎太荒謬了

344
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:03,772
‎你可能會有些清醒的時刻

345
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,733
‎但那個時候

346
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:09,028
‎家人會想跟你聊你現在的狀況
‎還有以前的事

347
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,572
‎他們不想談你死後的規畫

348
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,240
‎是不是想要火化

349
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:17,077
‎我爸這一點很酷，他臨終前…

350
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,413
‎真的很誇張，有時候他會…

351
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:21,540
‎抱歉，你說你爸怎麼死的？

352
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,709
‎我每秒奪走上千萬條人命

353
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:24,793
‎漸失症

354
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,338
‎區戰期間，他站在部落陰影之下

355
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:32,342
‎一點點的陰影慢慢滲進來
‎他一生都在與之搏鬥

356
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,596
‎最後進到他的肺部，他是位英雄

357
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,140
‎他死後，我發現他得過一堆勳章

358
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,391
‎是的

359
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:40,893
‎他臨終前…

360
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:42,311
‎有時他會記得我

361
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:46,523
‎有時他以為我是區戰的士兵

362
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:47,775
‎可能是禿頭的關係

363
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,819
‎人臨死前常會這樣

364
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,363
‎他會問：“你的指揮官是誰？”

365
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:56,450
‎他會說那種話，很有趣，但是…

366
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:59,661
‎我心想：“我可能不會再見到他了”

367
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:03,332
‎“我眼前的是個在夢遊的人

368
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,501
‎我可能不會再看到我爸了”

369
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,337
‎-然後…
‎-他會再出現

370
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,880
‎他馬上又回來了

371
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:11,298
‎就在那裡

372
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,717
‎他…

373
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:18,430
‎因為我學過要對臨死的人講實話

374
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,307
‎謝天謝地

375
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:23,185
‎他會問：“怎麼了？”

376
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,853
‎我就說：“你快死了”

377
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,981
‎他就說：“好吧

378
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:30,359
‎你趕快去拿紙筆”

379
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:33,320
‎然後他開始跟我說要…

380
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,572
‎要怎麼跟大家說

381
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,825
‎那很美，很棒

382
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:41,411
‎有些事我到現在都還沒做
‎我得找時間做

383
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:44,206
‎例如，送午餐去給安養院

384
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,960
‎他要我做很多善舉
‎我很幸運他那麼做

385
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,420
‎-對，你應該送午餐去安養院
‎-我會的

386
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,005
‎-他們會很高興
‎-我會

387
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,382
‎我會的

388
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:56,552
‎爸，無論你此刻
‎人在過去、現在，還是將來

389
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,262
‎我會送午餐的，抱歉

390
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,974
‎我現在有點忙
‎這是爛藉口，送午餐很簡單

391
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:07,312
‎死神，認識妳真好

392
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,274
‎我也是，謝謝你讓我大談我的工作

393
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,285
‎我需要那條水管

394
00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:24,163
‎不好意思，你可不可以…
‎那是我的水管

395
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,080
‎我需要它

396
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:26,290
‎我需要…

397
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,584
‎嘿！老兄！

398
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,252
‎嘿，老兄！

399
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,718
‎是誰膽敢吵醒電梯大帝？

400
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:48,437
‎誰想打籃球？

401
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,230
‎棒球？不

402
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,941
‎-乒乓球？
‎-不！

403
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,309
‎別抗拒

404
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,354
‎沒事的，面對空虛

405
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,523
‎況且，你還不會死

406
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,234
‎你會死在有輪子的辦公椅上

407
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,235
‎辦公椅？

408
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:40,322
‎我的媽呀！

409
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,095
‎你好，那是我的水管

410
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,266
‎你是什麼？

411
00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:08,934
‎你是隱喻嗎？

412
00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:18,568
‎想滑水嗎？

413
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:23,073
‎耶！

414
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,917
‎我沒滑過這麼棒的水道，真的

415
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,752
‎我滑過很多水道

416
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:38,797
‎我需要你變回包包

417
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,552
‎謝了，包包模式，啟動

418
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:47,306
‎我們“打包”回家吧

419
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:03,989
‎再見，空白球！

420
00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,115
‎你好爛！

421
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:07,993
‎她說我會死在…

422
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,620
‎我會死在辦公椅上！

423
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,084
‎去死！

424
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:25,260
‎謝了，克蘭西！

425
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,595
‎不客氣

426
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:34,102
‎你現在要做什麼？冥想還是什麼？

427
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:36,271
‎天哪，那好丟臉

428
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,148
‎我沒有領悟

429
00:22:38,231 --> 00:22:40,567
‎從來就沒有，那一點意義也沒有

430
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:43,028
‎莎洛，我也想妳

431
00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:49,034
‎即便你的生活走調了

432
00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:52,037
‎你還是能跟它一起高歌

433
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:53,372
‎（午餐拼盤，訂購）

434
00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:56,917
‎做走調的自己

435
00:22:57,501 --> 00:23:01,254
‎勝過於假裝自己已經領悟

436
00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:33,995
‎字幕翻譯：鄭思宇